For the past eight months I was living in Florence, Italy and now I’m here in Zambezi, Zambia. In some ways, life is very different here then it was back in Florence and both are different than my life in the US. However, through traveling I have learned that it is more interesting to learn about the human condition than it is to criticize all the differences between countries and cultures. At the end of the day, I also end up learning more about myself and appreciate the world and the people around.
Before coming here I watched the movie Invictus, which tells the story of Nelson Mandela and his first year in office as the President of South Africa. Throughout the movie, Morgan Freeman who plays Nelson Mandela, refers to a poem titled Invictus by William Ernest Henley, it goes like this:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gate,
How changed with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
This is our third day in Zambezi and it seems as though I have been here much longer. Everyone is so welcoming and kind, I can’t believe I’m living in the same world I was living in three days ago. I thought I would mention this poem in the blog today because it reminds me of that human condition I am so desperately trying to understand. And so far in Zambezi I can see traces of the strength that fills each and every face we encounter. It is the strength that we all have to keep on moving with our lives no matter the circumstance, no matter the black pits we bump into, and no matter the Horrors. Life keeps going with or without our consent. And we all have the power to take control of our lives and make of them what we wish. The people here, especially the children, have such an eternal life about them. They seem so happy just to be alive. At the end of this experience I think we will be the ones that are the most changed. For the people we meet here, we might just become another chindele (white person) that came and stayed for a while. But for us this experience will change the way we think, the way we act, and the way we live the rest of our lives. I am excited and scared to live out the rest of this experience. Excited because each day will bring a new challenge and scared because I don’t know if I will be up for that challenge. Each and every day I will try to remember this poem though, and remind myself to find the strength that I need because life keeps going with or without my consent.
Christina Bernal, Class of 2013
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Amazing blog Christinita!! I had to suck in my tears reading this, it is very beautifully written! I will tell you right now that you definitely have the strength and courage to meet the challenges that Zambezi will throw at you. All of you do! You will learn even more during this journey the powers of reflection. Utilize each other outside of the very late night group reflections. More and more you will realize how much you will end up relying upon your peers. You are not alone. Life goes on but Zambezi will always be with you. Remember to live in the moment and soak up every second. Don’t forget to have some time for yourself too!! I could talk forever, but I’ll save some for the blogs to come. Lots of love for everyone there!
Christina!!! You made it!!! What a wonderful blog post, very thoughtful and beautiful. I am happy to hear you all made it there safely and you all are adjusting well. Soak up every second! As you are beginning to learn each day feels as if a week has passed, every day is jam packed with so much, yet you never feel rushed or short on time. This experience will fly by, so be present to each moment. Be intentional about every relationship you have, those in your group and those with the Zambezi community.
These first few days you will cross so many boundries and step outside your comfort zone so remember to support and lean on each other. Christina, love you and miss you!
Aubrey, I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH! You are a shining light in my life and will be a light to all you meet. Shine bright my love! Can’t wait to hear all that’s to come!
Josh and family, sending all my love your way and to the newest member of your family! You and the whole group are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Kisu Mwane,
Katie
I love how this student wrote “I can’t believe I’m living in the same world I lived three days ago.” This piece truly shows how different it is out there, and how much the writer is experiencing and discovering about this new world and about self. I hope my sister is learning the same in Zambia. I can imagine how life changing trip this is for all the students there, and I’m glad my sister is blessed enough to experience this.
Happy Birthday Hikaru. Have the bestest birthday across the world, and please remember your family is wishing you the best from Cali
Xoxo too much love for u sista.
Beautifully written Christina. Tears came to my eyes as I read your blog to Aubrey’s grandfather. I have found in my life, in this wonderful world, that no matter where people live or in what circumstances, we all have many more similarities than differences. What an incredible experience for all concerned. Stay safe and love to you all…Nanette Walden (Aubrey’s mom)
Great post Christina! I love how literature has the potential to resonate with us in a way that allows us to better understand our emotions and experiences. You capture that beautifully with the poem you have posted!
Hikaru! I think about you all the time! I can’t believe you’ll be celebrating your birthday on a different continent! I hope you are soaking up Zambia, like i’m sure you’re soaking up the hot African sun 🙂 You continue to be a light in my life even across the globe. I miss you! And I can’t wait to hear all about your countless adventures, as we simultaneously dance to One Direction! You’ve got that one thing 😉
To my Northeast loves: Lauren, Katie, Kate, Kellie (I can’t remember if you were on the first or second trip) I hope you all are having an incredible time! Let your beauty shine and embrace every experience that comes your way. Remember–CM Northeast is really attractive –President Obama 🙂 So excited to hear from all of you!
And to everyone else on the trip I hope you are loving it! Josh and family, thinking of you and your newest family member!
Peace
Hannah
When the music changes, so does the dance
-African Proverb (One of my favorites)
Wow! These have been such great posts. Christina, I am so happy that you are seeing the “eternal life,” the infinite value in the people around you. Savor every moment that you have with the children, the adults, and your group members. Those will be the memories that mean the most once you leave.
Miss Hikaru, is it your birthday?! Happy birthday! How lucky are you to be celebrating it in such a wonderful place. I hope you’re getting in plenty of T. Swift dance parties.
Constanza, I keep on worrying that you are not getting enough to eat haha I hope that you are having a great time. I know that you are probably beginning to ask those big, deep questions that you are so good at coming up with. Feel everything you need to feel and keep asking the questions even if they don’t have answers. Te amo mucho mija.
Lauren Ferguson, I wish I was there to have pillow talks with you and watch you love on the Zambians! I am so proud of you for pushing your comfort boundaries and stepping out in faith in order to grow in love. You are going to have such a wonderful time.
Kisu mwane all,
Neshia
Christina,
I cannot tell you what joy it brings to me to hear bout your appreciation for all that I’m sure you’ve learned about yourself, and the human condition in the last 9 months. Though you’ll be returning home soon, grasping desperately at ways in which to encapsulate your memories of your recent experiences abroad in their purest form, I am reminded of my own reluctant return home after a similar 9 months in Florence and Zambia 2 years ago and how saddened I was knowing the experience I’d long anticipated (in both regions of the world) was ending. It is difficult to put into words all that you’ve seen, all that you’ve learned, and what these experiences will mean in relation to the rest of your life (two years later I’m still discovering new lessons to be learned about that precious year of my life). After so many months spent seeking new experiences and forming life-changing relationships you are often left with more questions than clear understandings of the formative challenges you’ve faced. Life will keep moving, and you may feel a constant nagging for your mind to more quickly catch up and comprehend all that you’re experiencing, but know that part of the experience is to the live the questions, and love the unknown for all the beauty that it is. I hope you are well, and I hope you continue to grow and flourish with the same invigorated passion I remember so vividly back at GU when I met you.
To the rest of the Zambezi crew:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
love, hugs, (and maybe tears) to you all.
kisu mwane–Lynsey