Jonathan, Kellie, & Blake - enjoying the sunset with the kids
We are all born into a certain life.
Some of us, like myself, are born into families that can provide, into places that hold endless opportunities, and into the expectation that we will succeed, regardless of the dream we aim for. Some of us, unlike myself, are born into families that struggle to afford food for their next meal, into places where disease consumes, and into communities where many feel that the only way to make something of themselves is by “getting out.”
During my time here in Zambezi, the confusion that comes with thinking of these paradox worlds has invaded my mind. It is impossible not to wonder how on earth the place I come from and the place I am living in now lay under the same moon at night. The emotions I have felt and the thoughts that now fill my head have turned my life upside down (also literally, being on the other side of the planet) and I think, maybe, I am starting to learn how to adjust my eyes to this part of my life I had no idea I was missing.
I met Friday, a fourteen year old kid, by the gate of the convent on our first full day in Zambezi. He has a kind face, a big smile when you catch him laughing, and a very relaxed way about him. His skinny arms dangle lazily over the fence, as they do every day, and he calls out my name in that perfectly smooth Zambian accent. Something about him gets at me every time, so even when I feel tired and weary from the full day, I walk over to him to talk for awhile. It amazes me now, as I have this time to reflect, how easy it is for us to just talk. We have talked about nothing and about everything, and in such a short time. I have learned about Friday’s troubled life at home, how both of his parents died when he was young, and how he lives with his grandmother and uncles now. Some of the stories he has shared with me break my heart, but he tells them with such internal strength and in such a matter of fact way that the conversations we have had and the questions I never stop asking continue to flow with ease. I think what has struck me most about Friday, and what will stay in my heart for the rest of my life, is the fact that just three weeks ago, our lives were about as far apart as they could possibly be. And now, as easily as our first conversation began, we are intertwined. Like many others in this village that I have crossed paths with in the past few weeks, I feel like some part of me, somewhere deep, has known Friday my entire life. This feeling reminds me of the wise words of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh: “Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” It is in these simple moments, the moments in which we connect with a stranger, that force us to realize that we were never really strangers at all.
Friday
If I have learned anything in these past few weeks, it is that regardless of the coordinates, the latitude and longitude in which we live, we all come from the same dust. The wind carries us to the corners of the earth, leaving us at the places we call home, but our real home is in the company of each other. In the words of Miguel Ruiz, “We are the same, you and I, we are images of light.” I have found this quote to hold a striking truth for me. We all love, hurt, fear, and hope. We share in our pain and rejoice in our happiness. We laugh, cry, think, and learn. We love to be silly and goofy and serious and wise. We all believe in something. But perhaps most importantly, we all shoot for the moon but merely land amongst the stars.
Getting here, to this sacred, beautiful land, is what it takes to just begin to recognize the deepest, most personal parts of ourselves within the people we meet. We must leap in order to see that the net will appear beneath us.
“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it” (We Bought A Zoo).
Kisu Mwane,
Aubrey Weber, Class of 2013
NOTE: To all of the parents of this brilliant group of thirteen, my life has been enriched by the company of each one of your kids. Thank you.
Aubrey,
What a wonderful, insightful, beautifully written blog. Thank you for mentioning our wonderful children – your Zambia mates – we are all very proud parents! I cannot express my gratitude to each of you strongly enough for sharing your experiences with us here at home. It has opened my eyes to a new world and made me examine my own life and lack of compassion at times in the past. I hope that I will carry some of the love of this group in my heart after you all return home. I feel like you have given me new experiences just by reading about yours. THANK YOU TO EACH OF YOU! from the bottom of my heart for sharing and caring so much.
Love and hugs,
Debbie (Kellie’s Mom)
Excellent observations, Aubrey. To impact lives so directly is a most amzing thing you Zags are doing in Zambia. Wishing you, Jonathan and all the others good luck with the rest of your endeavors. SteveD
Aubrey! Your post is amazing (so much better than Jonathans hahahaha just kidding)! I am glad you are having such an enlightening experience in Zambia and can’t wait for you to enlighten me on your experience when you get back!!!
-Tien
P.S. I forgot what you called them but I like your skirts!!! They’re super cute!
Aubs! It is so good to hear your beautiful voice through your writing!!! This is such an amazing reflection and I am so happy that you are having a life changing time in Africa. It sounds like you are truly embracing the changes and getting the most out of your experience. You are an amazing person and you have so much to offer as both a friend and a mentor. I love you so much and cant wait to hear about the rest of your time in Africa.
I LOVE YOU!!!
Erika
AUBREY!!!!!!! FINALLY! I have been waiting for this moment for weeks now and it is finally here. I check the blog everyday, usually on my phone because I’m out during the day, and anxiously await to see if it is you posting. Today I was driving with Joey to go golfing (my first golfing experience! I went a little crazy with the golf cart, SO FUN!) Anyways, I say it was you and literally screamed to the point that Joey almost crashed. I have read your blog 3 times now grinning ear to ear. It is hard for me to find the words to express how much I care about you and how incredibly happy I am that you have this experience. Your reflections are beautiful and you have a way with words that really captivate your feelings. Of course I would expect nothing less from Miss Aubrey Weber. It amazes me now to think of the short time span of Zambia study abroad and to now read how deeply and truly this experience touches your heart in such a short amount of time. You are an unbelievable, thoughtful and genuine person and through your blog I can already see the ways that Zambia has changed your life. I think I told you this when we were in Florence together, but Zambia ruined me. It ruined me in all the right ways and it continues to make me question everything I do, even now, one year later.
When I read Friday’s name my eyes filled with tears. He is an amazing young man and I know you have touched his life equally as he has touched yours. Continue to embrace all the relationships you have made and hold on to your group for dear life. The memories you make now you will consume your mind for years to come.
I love you so much and I am so grateful to have such a kind, beautiful, loving friend in my life. You may not realize this but meeting you in Florence was one of the greatest blessings of my experience abroad. I was homesick and struggled and you kept me afloat. I love you so much and miss you everyday. I can’t wait to see you and TALK to you when you get back! LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Kisu Mwane,
Katie
Aubrey…beautiful words from an incredible girl. As I read your post, tears were running down my face. What a life altering, life affirming experience Zambia has been for you. I am sure that Zambia will stay with you your entire life, and will color how you see and interact with the wonderful world that we all share. When you left for Zambia, a piece of my heart went with you. I love you so…I miss you so…ti amo beautiful girl.
Aubrey
I am so grateful to the Armstrongs and all of you for giving me a glimpse into your lives and incredible experiences. All of you have painted such beautiful, moving “pictures” through your writings for me. Thank you all for being so open to share from your hearts. Enjoy your final week to the fullest. Safe travels to all.
Aubrey: Such a beautifully written and thoughtful piece. Thank you. I love you. Aunt Glenda
SO beautiful. Thank you Aubrey!
– Taylor Warren, Zambezi 2009
Fantastic, Aubrey, this really is so, so beautiful! I don’t have many other words than that… and thank you for sharing!
Aubrey! You go girl! Your Aunt and I Love you very much. Sending you a giant hug from Colorado to Zambia. As always, I will raise my glass to you this evening!
Uncle Dave
Chindeles!
Oh my. There are so many things to say about this blog. First of all, I’m in tears. There are so many memories you bring back from my trip to Zambezi last year. My blog and your blog are shadows of each other, and I know exactly how you feel. Friday is such a sweetheart. Remember to journal all your feelings. That’s the only way I keep sane here in the United States. And no matter how exhausted you might be, stay out late talking.
I remember having a conversation with Joseph and Jones, two brothers that I taught in computer class, and Jones said that he knew I would forget about him eventually, but that he would never forget me. Those words haunted me my entire time in Zambia, and continue to haunt me today. Before you leave, remember to tell your friends that you love them; they have changed your life and will continue to change your life forever. I think about them every day, as will you.
Thank you for reminding me that we are all similar, even if we are different. We are close, even if we are miles apart. And even if we don’t all see eye to eye, a smile, a laugh, and a hug mean the same thing to them as it does to you.
Kisu Mwane,
Megan Wertman
Zambezi ’11
P.S. Has anyone met Mudondo and Nancy? If yes, tell them I say hi and that I miss them very much! Thanks 🙂
Aubs,
Wow! Your words are powerful. I was profoundly affected by each new line. I do believe that you and the other Gonzaga student friends will never be the same again. You have touched the lives of others in a wonderful way.
My very best to all there, students, teachers and people of Zambia.
I love you.
Dad
Aubrey,
Sounds like you are having the best possible time in Africa. This reminds me of Honduras. I know you’re walking a very similar path to the one I walked a year ago. Beautiful. Tell Friday and all the others about me, send them my regards. Open mind, heart enlarged, soul receptive… and take more pictures(and video), its annoying now but you’ll wish you took them later. I love you sis and am SO PROUD OF YOU. Don’t forget to bring me something cool back.
Love,
Connor
Precious Aubrey,
So it’s at the end of my day at work and I’m reading your beautiful, life changing words and I start to tear up. Just as there is “No crying in baseball!” there is no crying at work! So I struggled to maintain my composure while bursting with pride in you. I’m so happy that your time there is such a great experience for you, your cohorts and the Zambians who are so fortunate to get to know all of you. (A special high five to Friday.)
I’m sending my love to all of you there and hope you all return home safely.
Love,
Aunt Jackie
Aubrey,
Your thoughts and descriptions are beautiful! Thank you for sharing the photos too!
(At least I know if Jonathan loses his camera….you have some amazing pictures I can view!….I’m trying to keep the faith son!)
I can’t wait to hear more about your experiences upon your return 🙂
Love,
Michele Droessler
Aubrey! Such an insightful post! I love your description of Friday and your picture to match 🙂 It warms my heart to see such a moment captured for the rest of us to see. And the picture of the sunset with Jonathan, Blake and Kellie is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!!
To my Northeast girls: Lauren, Kel, Katie, continue to spread your love, joy and beauty as finish up your time in Zambezi. Relish in those deep reflections and conversations (like we had at 4 a.m.) and enjoy every sunset. Love you all so much!
Constanza, so today I thought of you because someone driving next to me was driving terribly and I just rolled down my window… an intimidating tactic that works every time when I’m on the road 😉 hahaha I loved your post by the way! I can just picture those ziploc bags and you packing and unpacking 🙂 AND I can’t wait for you to be in SAN DEIGO OH MY GOSH! Seriously beyond excited!!! Love you chica!!
HIKS!!!! I miss you sooooooooo MUCH! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve typed in your name on my phone only to remember you’re in another country…you’ll still be getting a few voicemails from me upon your return haha 🙂 I can’t wait until you post your reflection! The anticipation is almost too muchhhhh gahhhhhh! Thinking of you and sending my love! Enjoy and experience every moment, as I know you have been doing.
Wow this post was… wow. It’s crazy, I actually just came back from Friday service with my church with a feeling of how little I know of this world and how seriously VAST it is but dang, your post put things into a different perspective again. Yes, this world is huuuge but in the end, we really are one in the same. I love that you have such a close and deep relationship with Friday (and others that you have met there) because that is truly the biggest thing you can take from this experience.
Hikaru, it is currently 11PM Friday night and I am about to feast on some Korean junk food with my roommates haha. Reading this blog and just thinking about all the amazing things you are learning in Zambezi has made me decide that next summer, I don’t want to stay in Berkeley, no matter how amazing of an internship I may end up getting. I want to travel and learn and meet different people and really attempt to better understand things outside of this small bubble in the Bay Area. Just a thought I wanted to share with you 🙂 Praying for you and your team!!
Aubrey!
I have been waiting for your post! While I have enjoyed reading everyones blog post over the last couple of weeks, I could not wait to see your perspective on Zambia. IT IS WONDERFUL OF COURSE! It is amazing how this place has captured your heart in such a short time.
There is no greater reality check than completely abandoning what you thought to be normal only to experience completely different norms. Hearing the way you have connected with Friday, a stranger who has never been a stranger, brought tears to my eyes. It is a completely beautiful outlook on the inherent bonds we all have to each other by simply just being human.
I am so happy that you are enjoying your experience and can not wait to hear all your stories when you return home.
Love you and miss you!!!!!
-Megan
Aubrey,
Thank you for taking me to Zambia. I read over your blog several times and each time that I did, I had different feelings. Your words created a vision for me, a vision of hope and one of making a difference. I believe that your life will be forever changed and the memories, faces, words, and stories will be within your soul forever. Thank you for sharing Aubrey and thank you again for taking me on an amazing journey.
Robin Davidson
Aubrey,
I am sitting here in Seabeck on a cloudy afternoon and reading your insightful piece. You are an amazing young woman and your parents must be so proud of you. I know you will take this experience and allow it to change your life.
God bless and please know that your Seabeck family prays for you daily.
Joanne
Aubrey…such a beautiful message..so insightful, so meaningful, so articulately written that I truly feel a connection and understanding of this life-altering experience. Your ability to convey these thoughts and emotions are such a gift…I feel compelled to share this with so many others! What a post! I am so proud of you! I miss you, but look forward to our family reunion later this month! Love to you always, Aunt Julie
What beautiful observations – even though Oregon may seem like a million miles away, you touched my heart from that far distance. Thank you!
Melissa
Aubs, you are such an inspiration and after reading this I feel as though I was there in a way. It sounds like you are having such an amazing time and I’m so excited to see the pictures you have because I’m sure you have done an amazing job capturing every moment. I hope to experience the same thing at some point and I can’t wait for your arrival!!:) I am thinking about you especially when I’m struggling to write my 10 page paper, I wish you could write it for me hehe 😉 love you ooooobra!!!<3
Aubrey! Now there is a person that I recognize from this trip 🙂
Great post. I really enjoyed reading about the authentic relationship that you are forming with Friday. There was a quote that was very impactful for me that had been written on the blackboard of the Chalinga Basic school when I was in Zambia. “We meet to know each other and depart to remember.”
Aubrey, you will always remember Friday.
Joe
AUBREY!
I’m so excited to see your post(It’s great, by the way)! I’m glad you are having such a wonderful time in Africa. Your story about your experiences with Friday was remarkably touching and I’m so excited to hear the rest of your stories when you get back!
Miss youuuu
Taylor
Aubrey,
I sit here in my small and very cluttered room in Reno. I am very proud of you to be doing such a thing like this. I am inspired to make a trip to that wonderful continent of Africa and do something similar to what you are doing. I can’t wait to hear the stories and experiences you have had. I right now am experiencing a relationship like yours and Fridays. Through the Big brothers Big sisters program I have brought under my wing 9 year old Arthur. It is pretty neat to know that someone younger than you waits for that moment everyday to get to see and talk to you simply for the inspiration and happiness you can give to them. I miss you and love you very much. Cheers.
Andrew Creaser
Erin,
Team 34th Ave West is rooting for you, we all send our love and prayers…
we wish you the best.
Erin,
Team 34th Ave West is rooting for you and sending love and good thoughts.
be well and take care.
oxox
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