It begins with a heightened sense of perception about the way our lives move forward.
It begins with the conscious acknowledgment of those chance events occuring at just the right moment –- happenings that bring forth just the right individuals — to suddenly send our lives in a new and important direction.
We comprehend it the moment we start to assume that every event contains a significance that pertains to our questions.
It is a new way of thinking, a challenging approach of intention to every decision I make and every relationship I experience. And it has been developing in my fellow team members and me every day since our arrival to Zambezi.
While many, including myself, struggled with the “tourist” aspects of our first week in Africa, it is a comfort to know that without a doubt we were meant to finally arrive and be in the Zambezi community.
We were meant to encounter the men working construction during our morning run through the undeveloped fields past the river. We were meant to walk away from our conversation with them pondering the idea that while there is so much “searching” for happiness in America (usually resulting in the purchasing of superfluous items or cravings of a career-related promotion) the people of Zambia find it, know it, and enjoy it simply where they are.
We were meant to be placed amidst a group of children, most under the age of ten, who would choose to spend hours learning English from someone with no professional experience, passing around a single pen in a makeshift classroom, than play with their friends in the sand. I was meant to leave our daily lessons wondering why, in my elementary years and even in this past one, I have guiltily caught myself believing that school was always just the next step, something that I had and was expected to do; the Zambians, from Mister Severe who works in the Ministry of Education, to young Humble who runs around with no shoes and tattered clothes, know that “education is life” and without it there is nothing.
We were meant to hold the countless number of Zambian hands that stretch toward ours, whether in traditional greetings or children’s accompaniment, that create a literal action of physical contact representing a spiritual one of conscious connection between people. We were also meant to reflect in the uncomfort of soon after having to sanitize our own hands in what feels like sterilizing the bond just made.
We were meant to recognize what it feels like to be greeted with a smile by every single passerby on the hour walks to and from Chilena Basic School, thus coming to realize how “plugged in and zoned out” we each are when in my own area of comfort walking the streets back home.
We were meant to feel the sting of assumptions. We needed to recognize that the only way to combat the label of the disconnected, transactional “Western donor” is to intentionally seek deep and real relationships built on reciprocated understanding and the ability to not only serve, but allow oneself to be served.
We were meant to completely lose sense of time, something I will have to say I have adapted to quite easily. We were supposed to be here to experience, perhaps for the first time, what it really means to slow down and begin living. For me, to look at my life surrounded by many type A obsessions with work, extra-curriculars, and other stress-related commitments and remembering with sadness how skillfully I use my practical routine to distract myself from what matters, that is, the very thing that Zambians and Gonzaga students can understand without speaking a word: love.
We were meant to witness the power of the human connection through this love, not simply because someone is a relative or a dear friend, but for the mere fact we are all human — and all share in this very human compassion and desire to feel and give love.
As I was reading the prologue of a philosophy book (guess what Dad, turns out I’m not the only one who reads them for fun; this group has some great talks about life) I came across a story from the author’s childhood. He spoke of his last moments with his dying father and the advice the latter gave: “We are not our positions. We are not our possessions. All we have is love. All we are is love. And in seeing this, I am happy.”
And in a place where the positions are not of luxury and the possessions are certainly not of lavishness, yet so full of love and consideration for others (especially new chindele visitors to their country) I could not possibly think of a statement containing more truth.
So it is through seeing this love-in-action that a new system of thinking and viewing daily interaction takes shape, a new standard of love to live by. In some ways I would call it a renewed sense of faith in humanity, yet more appropriately I believe I shall consider it a guiding light to appreciate the beauty in my own life upon my return. I will always have questions and uncertainties; but I realize that what matters is taking the time to look to new people and experiences in search of understanding.
Brady Essmann
Class of 2014
PS – Mom, Pops & Anna – I am so sorry I didn’t have a chance to shoot you an email. I wrote a draft but the power has been out so I will send it when I can. Please know I am healthy and happy and eating very well. 🙂 And I miss you. Zambezi has such a strong sense of family and I often find myself describing you all to the people I meet. I love you.
Sam – Same goes for you, I am sorry for the lack of any sort of communication. Know that I think of you always and miss you a ton.
PS – Katie, we are all so excited to see some more Blackburns headed our way 😉 Congratulations!!!!
PPS – Mrs. Brunett, Paige wanted to tell you “Happy birthday, I miss you!” and that she wishes she could have been there to celebrate with you.
Brady,
Your reflection is beautiful, insightful, and impactful. I have read the blogs each and every day, and all of your experiences described through a few paragraphs of words have taught me so much about — living in the moment, tuning out the ‘noise’, hardship, laughter, community, bonding, friendship, smiles, desire for education, human beauty, spirituality, openness, ‘welcoming’, and of course, love.
All of YOU through your words have changed many peoples lives, and for that, we thank you.
Keep sharing, keep loving, and keep living in the moment.
Many hugs,
Julie Boland (Brittney B’s mom from group 1)
Dearest Suzanne,
I really like that quote you used from a philosophy book and I am glad that you have found some other people who actually read them for fun, too (ya kids are weeeird!!!). Reading over your post actually made me think a lot about Kairos and living in “God’s time.” (I wonder if there is a word for living in Zambezi time 🙂 ). Though it has been over 4 years since I have had the experience of timelessness or reflection on our American values like instant gratification and ambitiousness, your post has been a great reminder of the lessons learned from Kairos: that love for others is all that is important, that you learn something about somebody that will surprise you and make you understand your life in perspective, and to appreciate the time you spend around others so that you don’t miss opportunities to know and grow with them. It sounds like you are getting such a wonderful refresher Brades. I’m very happy for you. You should write philoshophy books, hehe.
You know I love you, xoxo,
Anna Essmann
P.S. You know that bracelet that you gave me that was made out of paper beads? Well in fibers this week we learned how to make paper beads and just let me tell you it is sooooo hard to make them that small. Mine did not look half so good as my bracelet, so you tell whoever is making those things that I appreciate their beautiful work!
Chimene Mwane BRADY! This was great. I assume you are all sitting in the convent dining room right now eating one of your first Zambezi breakfasts. Who cooked it this morning?? I’m sure it tastes great. When I first cooked breakfast me and Amanda Schmitz made French Toast and everything was great until I threw the last piece of bread on the sizzling oil and it splashed and burned Amanda’s hand real bad and I felt awful the rest of the trip haha, soo that’s my advice, don’t burn anyone’s hand with hot oil.
In other news, this post was wonderful. I love your revelation of the immense contrast between your “type A obsessions and stress-related commitments” and the real love that goes beyond everything else. I’m sure Zambia Gold can be included as one of those extra-curricular events you had to balance during last school year, but I hope that seeing the Chilena Basic School and everyone in the Zambezi community has made you realize how worth it all is. I do want to thank you for your dedication to Zambia Gold this past year – your passion can only grow from this point on. From that Jubilee we did in the first semester to the COG tabling nights, your heart’s been in it and I think it really is something special.
By the way my buddy Connor just turned 21 last night here in Spokane so my gift to him was a nice jar of Zambia Gold Honey haha. Can’t wait until you guys get to go out and see the beehives and try the raw stuff right there.
Much Love to you all. I will definitely be reading all of these. Take it one moment at a time.
PEACEEE,
Kurt Guenther
Brady,
Another AMAZING reflection from an AMAZING group of young adults. You guys are experiencing something that most do not experience in a lifetime, and that is not necessarily the experience of being in the geographic location of Zambezi, but being with and around PEOPLE (yourselves and those who you have met who live in Zambezi) who really do get what is important and matters in life! Keep taking it all in everyone and you will continue to realize that although you are there to serve, you will come away also being served with these so important aspects of what life is really all about. Your posts are also allowing all of us back home to sit back and reflect/understand as well- thank you!
Rick (Jay’s dad)
PS – Jay, I was thinking of you last night as I watched the Mariners “No Hit” the Dodgers (using 6 different pitchers), and winning 1-0. Your man Brendan Ryan saved the no-hitter in the 9th inning with an amazing play from shortstop.
Dear Group 2,
As you soak up each Zambian moment, I am soaking up each photo and word you share! 🙂 I know I am not alone as each of us read and reread your thoughtful postings…feeling closer to you across the many miles and trying to place you in a world I haven’t been. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your hearts with us. As my heart is walking amongst you in Kate, it brings a sweet peace. Megan, I feel your heart is wide and your appreciation deep for each new experience, and perhaps Alex’s word “zambitious” appropriate for much that you will experience. Alex, I loved that word and know that you all will be “living in the moment”…and Brady, I have no doubt that you all are “meant” to be there. I said to the first group and again now to you, I think God and Prof Josh did an amazing job selecting all of you to be part of this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
xo Mary (Kate’s mom)
Kate-Kate, please know we are doing well. We introduced Poppop to sushi last night and were reminded it isn’t his thing. 🙂 Lindsay is arriving any minute and we’ll all attend Griff’s Chamber Year-end concert today…and Natalie’s wedding tomorrow. We are missing you like crazy but also feel that this is all “so right” and so meant to be…Good luck in your classroom! Sending you so much love! xoxoxoxo
Oh, Bugga-
My heart soars like an eagle!
I’ve read and re-read your post a few times now, to absorb every word and ‘hear’ your voice in each sentence, necessary because my eyes were clouded a bit. (Tears from your old man, what a shocker!) Mom and I have been reading along every day with Group 1 and your Group 2 mates. I have been filled with joy and pride by each enlightened reflection, and I can feel the emotional engagement you have had with the love and happiness, sense of family and community, sadness and loss that you are seeing and sharing with your Zambezi hosts. I love the word ‘accompaniment’; it brings to my mind the picture of people walking side-by-side. That is what I see you all doing, literally and figuratively, with the people of this village far away. Cleary, the teacher becomes the student, and I am touched by the depth which you have all embraced and accepted that.
I will not go off telling stories of walking to school in a foot of snow, uphill in both directions, I promise. But, the connection that many of you have written about, stripping away the distraction and mental noise of media, electronics, ticking clocks, work, school and schedules, has made me think of my parents and grandparents. I wish you knew them better. Family and community were a higher priority for their generations, before all of the gadgets and conveniences. I am thankful for your opportunity to escape from the submersion. Even if you have to travel halfway around the world to do so.
Brady, this experience is such a huge fulfillment for you. I know that this is where you should be, doing what you should be doing. I am so proud of you for reaching for your dream and working so hard to get to Zambezi! God bless you all! Praying for your open hearts and minds. May the Lord be with you every minute!
I love you!
Dad
Dear Brady,
Your words were so meaningful and wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time to write so beautifully as I know you must be tired at this point in time.
I must say the photo is greatly appreciated as well. Anne can explain why in more depth. 🙂 Let’s just say a picture is worth more than a thousand words to me.
Take care and thanks so much for your thoughtful essay.
Fondly, Barb (Anne’s mom)
When I was a young girl, my father had the opportunity to go to Ethopia and teach welding. I wanted more than anything to be a part of that adventure. Reading your blog is absolutely the way I thought it would be. Unfortunately, our family was never able to travel to Africa…but it’s been in my head, my heart and my soul since those early days.
Brady, I’m so glad that you’ve had this wonderful experience. You will never be the same as you were before your trip. Once the “Missionary” bug gets into your system, it can never be quenched. Your heart will always be in Africa…or any other area where people, especially children, are in need. You will want to return again and again.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Give all of the little sweethearts big hugs and kisses for me, and know that we are waiting with open arms for your return. Travel safely!
With much love,
Karen
Brady……Thanks for the beautiful blog entry. The Murphys all love reading the posts (except maybe Jack….Erin will know what that means) and following the adventures of the Group 2 Zambezians. It is such a treat to share in your everyday thoughts, adventures and trials. really, it is a priviledge. It helps to know that you are all doing well and enjoying your time in Zambia. Those of us here in the States are missing you like crazy but feel a part of your adventures through the blog. Thanks to all of you for letting us accompany you on this journey. As e.e. cummings wrote “i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear, you go too).
Be safe and happy!
Thanks for blogging!
Kathleen Murphy (Erin’s mom)
Thank you so much for the picture! I was so happy to see my daughter, Melissa Houglum, in the photo there. Sounds like wonderful work being done there.
We loved the photo of the “huddle” at Victoria Falls…and we love this one, too! We saw your backsides in the first! Now we get to see your faces! How wonderful it is to see each and every member of Group 2. We know that you are sharing experiences in Zambezi that you will never share again, with anyone else; events and feelings that will be in your hearts only, to be treasured forever.
Brady, you give us so much to think about and evaluate in our own lives…Of one thing I am sure, whatever we are experiencing, we are meant to experience at this moment, in the surroundings we are in, with others also destined to be part of that moment. How we handle that experience…whether we let it slip by without hardly taking notice or whether we choose to not engage ourselves in the moment or whether we choose to allow ourselves to experience the moment with our hearts open, is up to us. We make our own choices…whenever we choose to experience the moment with our hearts wide open, we will feel deeply. It can be painful or unbelievably wonderful or something in between…It definitely will not leave us lukewarm or with very little emotional response. One thing you all seem to be discovering on this journey is that there is no room, any longer, for just going through life with lukewarm responses. You are making the choice to risk opening your hearts…and in doing so, causing many of us to evaluate our own choices.
Paige Megan, Alex, Brady and Kyle (just finished reading your post, Kyle), thank you for sharing your innermost feelings. To all the members of Groups 1 and 2, as others have said, we are experiencing this journey with you through your wonderfully descriptive, honest, from deep within your hear, feelings…. We all are blessed through your words that not only paint a picture of your experiences, but add all the intricate shading and depth to the canvas.
We can hardly wait to open our computer each day to see what is next in your journey.
Love to all,
Linda
P.S. Stef, I try at least once a week to sit down with Grandma to read her the posts and comments. The iPad is perfect because we can enlarge the pictures. By the way, she found you right away in today’s photo post! It’s also awesome because if she wants to read the blog herself, it’s easy to enlarge the print! Who ever thought, that this iPad would be such an important part of sharing your Zambezi experience with your Grandma? It really does work better for her than her desktop computer.
Brady,
Great reflection on your interactions in Zambezi and how they are so different than those for many of at home. Seems like the Zambian people have it right and we could all learn a lot about our “human-ness” from them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You have inspired me to step outside my comfort zone a little more and be more genuine in my interactions with others.
We are looking forward to hearing more from all of Group 2 and look forward to the return of Group 1 on Tuesday!
Brady,
Thank you for your post and especially for the group picture. I know Meg is alive, well and smiling 🙂 I love experiencing this journey in small part with you through each of your inspiring blog posts. Keep up the great work and be assured of my continued prayers for Group 2! Meg I love and miss you!
Peace and blessings,
Traci Dempsey
This is a great picture Melissa and Dave! Glad to see you looking relaxed and reading about your group’s thoughts and appreciate the sharing of events. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thinking of you while you are contributing and learning the Zambian culture. A truly moving experience.
Love you and miss you!!
Melissa’s Mom
My Dearest Buggsy Malone….Loved your Blog! You are soaking it in kiddo…and that is such a good thing! The world is so small, and it is so great that you are learning that so young! I can not wait to hear everything upon your return! So much love and kisses, Cakes
BRADY!!!!
WOW.
So beautiful! I have been waiting to read your blog! The excitement I have for all of you about what you are all about to experience is immense and abundant, and I can tell that you have experienced it already. ENJOY, and EMBRACE THE LOVE!
A beautiful quote I stumbled upon recently by CS Lewis….
“Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.”
Josh and family!
Hope you are all doing great. And to the boys…love reading your blog!
Carly G. aka Carlita (Zambezi 2011)
Brady!!! I’m so sorry for not leaving a comment sooner… I decided to take a break from the digital world for a few days, which I’m sure you would totally endorse. This is what you’ve been waiting for, babe. Make the most of each moment. Be intentional. Bee the change. I saw Kurt’s comment on your blog, and I definitely smiled thinking about our ZG tabling chats 😉
What a great group of lovely people wandering the sandy roads of Zambezi. Nolan, I couldn’t help but notice that this picture showed you rocking a pair of keens… hope they’re enjoying round 2. Natalie, are you still around? I don’t know what’s going on with your travel plans. Stef, I’m sure you packed all the right things… my apologies for never responding to your text! I was at sasquatch and barely paying attention to my phone (no Josh, I wasn’t distracted by all the attractive indie guys, it was just great music!). Great post, Kyle! Everybody! All of you rock!
Well it’s time to power down and go to bed. I’m glad this blog is the last thing I’ll read, and twaya mwanta will be the last thing I hear. Perhaps I’ll meet you in Zambia, if only in my dreams.
Claire Anderson
Zambezi ’10
p.s. today’s challenge: be curious and ask the questions you find yourself quieting
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