I hear the yell down the hallway of our convent and home, “Dinner!” Eagerly, I make my way to our dining table and common room, where food, laughter, and deep reflection are shared simultaneously everyday. As I look at my seating options, I employ the dining strategy shared with me by a close friend and previous Zambezi resident. My eyes quickly hunt for the young Armstrongs, Owen and Grace. Finding a seat next to Owen, I swiftly walk over and take my seat, anticipating him “biting off more than he can chew.” As dinner winds down, once again, there are leftovers on Owen’s plate, and I scrape his plate onto mine, gorging on food in hopes of being full.
Zambezi is many things. Throughout my time here, I have recognized the privilege we have had in our stay here, not to mention back at home. Mama Kuwatu’s cooking is always delicious, and in some ways, my eating habits are healthier here than when I am cooking for myself.
Our dining room on our trip to Dipalata
It was in hopes of being full that I returned to Zambezi, after my initial time spent here two years ago. When Josh asked me if I was interested in returning, the question was not “should I do this?” but rather, “why not?” My time spent here in 2010 was absolutely beautiful. Much like my meals, I was hungry for more. Even upon landing on the runway, it was immediately apparent that Zambezi was still full. Full of joy, love, and life. As I disembarked from the plane, I was amazed at how many still remembered me, and I them.
Friday and I
It is in choosing filling experiences such as Gonzaga-in-Zambezi that allow us to fully live. It is far too easy in life to choose something that will simply “hold us over” rather than filling us up. Indeed, for the chindeles spending time in Zambezi, a snack was not good enough. I hold deep admiration for the people who choose this filling experience. These are people who have chosen to go beyond their comfort zones, to do something different with their lives. Really, what they have chosen, is to do something that is filling, and occasionally too much to stomach. What they have chosen is something worth doing.
We do not have to be in Zambezi though to seek out opportunities that may fill our deep hunger. As a recent graduate, much of my time over the last year has been spent discussing vocation. Frederick Buechner said that vocation is “the place where our deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.” This time spent in Zambezi feels like tasting a bite of what vocation can be. Our days here are full. They fill our stomachs, our minds, our hearts, and our souls. Though I, like most of us here, do not yet know the intersection of my own greatest desire and world’s greatest need, I do know that it is because of experiences such as my time in Zambezi that remind me of a deep hunger to do something meaningful with my life. I do not want to take a path in life that will simply hold me over until another destination; I am seeking experiences that will fill me up. It is in seeking a life that is full that we are finally able to fully live.
In the last line of her poem, Mary Oliver asks the question, “what will you do with this one wild and precious life?” I do not yet know for certain what lies ahead of me, but I do know that I seek a vocation that fills my stomach, mind, heart, and soul. And I have Zambezi to thank for that.
Nolan Grady
Class of 2012, Zambezi Class of 2010 & 2012
P.S. To the members of group one: some serious credit is due your way for everything you have done for us. All of the projects have transitioned fantastically. And whether it’s a nice note left in one of the rooms in the convent, or a giant sign reminding us to “take yo drugs,” we have felt the love and work you did in your stay here, and are beyond grateful for your help in making our experience a great one. Tunasakwilila mwane.
Nolan,
Beautiful, beautiful, beauuuuutiiiifullllllllllll blog. I love that you are taking time during your stay to not only live in the moment but reflect and see how these events fit to YOUR life. I admire your ability to be so present but at the same time what Aaron McMurray would call “get to the balcony”, remove yourself from and viewing the bigger picture. I can picture people looking for a “good seat” at the table and opening lids to see what’s for dinner- beans, avocado, and sweet potato will always be my fave! I hope all of you are having a blast with your groups and knockknockknock-ing with the children. Thanks for your shout out and tell Grade 6A&B I said hello!!
Stay healthy!
Hikaru
Some fun news: Miley Cyrus is now engaged to Liam Hemsworth, Selena Gomez is still dating Justin Beiber.
Tell Mama Kawatu and Brother Terry that I say hello and Brady, hug them both for me!
Okok, have a fantastic day (or night!) 🙂
Nolan,
Great post and great wisdom. Keep focused on your determination to find something meaningful for your vocation. As individuals and society, we lose our passion, creativity and drive when we settle for “something to hold us over”. Stay strong and let this experience fuel your drive to find your greatest desire to meet the world’s greatest need!
P.S. Megs – the “victory over chicken” photo: creepy in a strangely cool sort of way 😉
Love to all of Group 2 from the Dempseys!
Nolan!!!!!!
You are such a stud. I’m glad that you have gotten the opportunity to return to Zambezi. I know that you don’t settle for anything less than a quest to be “full.”
As always, if Christopher is alive and well send him my well wishes. And in the spirit of advice that I was passed onto you. “When you are in Zambezi, never miss an opportunity to go down the slide” If you would, please take a trip down the slide for me.
Other than those things, something a bit more superficial that I hope at least 1 person will appreciate (as ridiculous as it was when I was there in 2009, I love when a random person posted about this), the NBA finals series is currently…………………………………… ………………………………………….. Oklahoma City – 1 win…………………………………………………….. ……………………………………………Miami – 3 wins
Now go forth and stay present 🙂
Joe
Glad to hear that you aren’t letting any food go waste. Especially since I am not there to scrape the plates with you! There are other things delicious besides Mommas cooking if you know what I mean… Thanks for the email Nolan. Wrote you back. I have been thinking of everyone in Zambezi but have been thinking of you especially and how great it was to get to spend that time together again. Random that we meet up in Zambezi, it’s kind of far… Maybe we could choose a new spot?
Josh– congrats on the grace news. Miss being with the fam. Owen and I are going to have a lot to catch up on during our next star talk. Xx
Nolan,
What profound words of culinary wisdom: Always sit next to a small tummy at dinner!
In answer to Oliver’s wonderful question, “What will you do with this wild and precious life?” you are choosing to fill it with experiences which are so much more than just moments in time. They are lessons learned that will be the basis for decisions you make in your life, and the benchmarks by which you evaluate your achievements. Since learning appears to be a process that is both cumulative, and repetitive, each of these experiences that enrich your life, and those you come in contact with, are so much more than just “enrichment.” I read a prayer that dovetails with one of your statements: “My heart and my soul, I give You control, Lord fill me from the inside out.” You ALL have provided so much food for thought (I couldn’t resist), and I thank you for the opportunity you provide us dig a bit deeper into what WE believe and live.
P.S. Dear OKC. Somebody has to be the chicken. Go Heat.
Nolan,
The quote about vocation you included in your post is one of my favorites. I think Zambezi is a great place to reflect on vocation. In the U.S., the word love is applied indiscriminately. “I love my iPhone,” “I love froyo,” “I love your shirt.” But it is in a place like Zambezi, where all the excess is stripped away, that we can discover what we really love: what authentically captures our hearts and what gets us out of the bed in the morning. Thanks for a great post.
Meg,
I walked by a wayward pine in Wash Park the other day. No one was there to appreciate it with me. Lover you. Less than a week!
NOLAN! I’ve been anxiously awaiting your reflection, and do happy to see it this morning 🙂 I just love the sincerity you bring to whatever work you do, whether that is in Spokane or Zambezi. I can only imagine the “fullness” you are feeling, and I hope it stays with you a long, long time.
Nolan,
For one, I am SO jealous that you got to return. Seriously, hug all the kids for me (especially Mudondo). Secondly, I know the fullness you are seeking, and I know that it won’t come from the food you eat (no matter how hard you try). I remember coming home last summer and thinking that I was never “hungry.” It could have something to do with the fact that your days are so busy that you don’t have time to be hungry, or the fact that a lot of people you encounter on your journey might only eat once a day… Yet they are so full. I don’t know how they do it. I’m still awe-struck. They are so happy, and so willing to learn, and so obviously grateful for everything that they have. Their faces are full – of hope, wonder, eagerness, hard work, laughter… the list could go on. Fill your heart & your brain, at least for the rest of the Zambezi alum 🙂
Chindeles, remember, you cannot take too many pictures, hold too many hands, watch too many sunrises or sunsets, walk to the market too often, have too many conversations, etc. Embrace the rest of your time there!
Kisu Mwane,
Megan
I so loved these last posts…Anne, your post hit home with your aging grandmothers and niece’s impending birth…all I kept thinking though was life turns out as its meant to be and you all are so meant to be right there in Zambia! Stef, I love the thought of your guitar making music in Zambia long after you are gone!…and Melissa, life is messy indeed but oh so rich amidst the messiness! 🙂 And Nolan, good luck to you as you return home and seek the next phase of your life, filling your soul. Zambia has given you all a new depth and I know your memories will shape your future choices!
Kate-Kate, I can’t wait for a week from Friday!! 🙂 Is this going as quickly as it seems to be going for me? We had a great Father’s Day at San Onofre, the three of us. Daddy and Griff caught some great waves and I soaked up the scene from the sand! 🙂 I had a new mom experience on Monday when I helped dread Griffin’s hair! OMG! 🙂 What a trip! Initially I kept thinking this goes against my 23 years of helping you all have shiny, tangle free hair! 🙂 But got into it with each completed dread! I think he can pull it off! If I don’t look at them too closely and just focus on his sweet face, its all good! 🙂 Sending you much, much love, my girl! And praying for you all to have a special last week with many blessings!
xoxoxo Mama (Kate’s mom)
Mr Nolan Grady,
I started getting a little tear in my eye reading your blog… especially at the thought of special people in Zambezi recognizing you. TGIF, right? I hope you are feeling the pure, unconditional love that exists in this world. Let your light shine and allow those around you to recognize their infinite worth as well.
If you remembered to pick up a rosary, thank you in advance. Otherwise, no worries! Time to be motherly, but be safe during your backpacking trip to Europe! Hope it isn’t too long before we cross paths again.
Whyyy do you build me up, buttercup baby………….
Kisu Mwane,
Claire
Nolan,
So great to read your post and see your face next to Friday’s…what a wonderful story of your reunion with this special guy–two hearts bonded in friendship for life. I am transported back to Mama K’s kitchen and the table we all gathered around two years ago. I think you are well on your way to a place of “deep gladness” doing something meaningful with your “wild and precious life”…can’t wait to see where your path leads you.
Kisu Mwane,
Dale
Nolan,
Today I looked at the blog for the first time since I’ve been home. I am ashamed to admit that I have been avoiding reading all of your wonderful posts because a little part of me is jealous that I am not still physically in Zambezi as you all are. I miss it all more than I can explain, especially now, but I am carrying it all with me in my mind and heart, as I know each of you are doing while there in your own way.
I think it must be fate that the day I felt “able” enough to sit down and type this web address in the search bar was the same day that you posted, Nolan. My dad gets the email updates still and called to me from the other room, “There’s a picture of Friday on the blog,” and I came running. For some reason, I knew it would be you that posted (I only have about fifteen pictures of that very hug between you and Friday that you mention above, which seems like so long ago to me). Thank you for writing, it is people like you and Natalie that give me hope and inspiration to go back to the land I love the very next chance I get. Please, please give Mama the biggest hug and Friday the best high five for me and tell them I think of them every single day.
Josh, I really should have taken Grace when I had the chance. There was a window of opportunity when the second group was getting their warm welcome on the air strip that I thought, maybe, your eye was off her. HAHA. I’m joking. I am just so, so happy for you and your family… you have a DAUGHTER! 🙂 Please tell the beautiful Grace Peggy Armstrong that I say “you so prettyyy” and give her a kiss for me.
EVERYONE: I barely know any of you, but we are part of a family now, and I’d love it if we could be friends 🙂
Love to you all, always, and keep doing what you’re doing, because what you are doing is better than you know,
Aubrey
Nolan,
What a beautifully written entry. Having had the chance to know you for practically all four years of college, I can repeatedly point to moments when you’ve been called to a vocation, whether you knew it or not. I wonder if vocation is truly infused within us– you have always been one to serve others. Your time in Zambia is testimony to that, as is your time in GSBA, Ambys, rugby, etc. Working in Philly next year counts, too! The decisions you make lead you toward vocation, the beauty of which comes with a variety of surprising roads.
Enjoy the remaining days in Africa, and be safe when you get over to Europe! Can’t wait to hear about your travel adventures with Sydney. I hope it’s as weird as you want it to be.
Love,
Ash
NO ONE!
TGIF, my friend. Reading your blog today sure made me happy! As I just sent out what seems to be my 100th job application your words were the perfect reminder that the vocation we all yearn for is one that fills the stomach, mind, heart, and soul. How wonderfully said!! And that picture of you and Friday is beautiful. I’m excited to hear all about your adventures together!
Safe travels with Syd soon. Take good care of one another and be sure to send updates home with how you are both doing.
Love you. Kisu mwane!
Nicole (Knee-Coal)
Whoa! Nolan….Loved your humor, your energy, your insights. In sharing with us your journey to find your vocation, you have challenged each of us to think about whether we are doing something that just is “holding us over,” or are we immersed in something that is ” filling us up?” Hmmmmmmmm . I do know one thing and that is, if we are doing something to just ” hold us over”, we can certainly do a great job…However, when you have found something that is ” filling you up,” you are inspired, motivated, energized, you can’t get enough of what ever life will throw your way that day. I read this quote, recently, on a greeting card: “One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” H.Miller. Inside the card: “Wherever the future takes you, continue to dream.”
God says, ‘Please help me, help me, help me to make my world more hospitable through gentleness. Help my world become more hospitable to caring, to compassion, and to sharing.’ You are part of a movement to change God’s world. Please, please, please dream. (Some of the words of Desmond Tutu at Commencement 2012).
And my last quote of the day for all of you: ” As you are. God is calling you. Realize that you live and move and breathe under his amazing grace. In grace he saves you from sin. In grace, he saves you for life. You ‘ll never get beyond it. Don’t try. Just receive it, and offer it to others.”. Mike Howerton, Glorious Mess.
I can only imagine what these next few days will be like for all of you as you savor each and every moment with each other and with the people of Zambezi. Yup, you know how to do it…Just be. Be drench by unrestrained love and caring. Be filled.
Love to you all. Group 1 and Group 2, you are all amazing. (Group 1 thank you for all you did to make Group 2’s transition so smooth.). Love that big “Take yo drugs” sign.
P.S. Thank you, HEAT!
P.S.S. Nolan, tell Friday that the picture of you guys, has been seen even in Denmark!
P.S.S.S. Stef, trying to recapture your room. Right now, Rock and Roll does, indeed, rule! Loved to see you in the photo at the feast in Dipalata. Hi Kyle! Just another little note in… Love you more. Can’t wait to see you…xoxoMom
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