Momma Kuwatu and the chindeles
Paige Brunett. Catholic. White. Female. The other night during reflection, we were each asked to name what identifies us. Personally, being female has never been an identifier that I have been terribly aware of. Of course, I love shopping, reading sappy novels and fawning over Channing Tatum, but I have never put much stock into the implications of being a woman. In Zambia, however, it is nearly impossible not to be hyper-aware of womanhood. At the Livingstone Museum, our tour guide (somewhat begrudgingly) noted the difference between male and female lions: lionesses do all of the hunting while the male of the pride, for all intents and purposes, lays around all day and offers protection in the event of a threat. Animal analogies aside, it seems to be a trend that African, particularly Zambian, women work incredibly hard for their families. It is easy to spot a Zambian woman: she is usually dressed in a long, colorful chitengi skirt, simultaneously cooking and cleaning, all with an infant strapped to their backs in another chitengi, often with other children running around; she could be walking along the main road with, again, a child on her back, balancing something on her head; she might be cooking nshima: an arduous process of grinding corn meal into a paste, a staple of the Zambian diet. These are just snapshots of the incredible strength of Zambian women. Sadly, however, this strength is often not appreciated by men. In their lessons, the heath group is constantly reminded that women feel that they do not have a voice. Their husbands are often unfaithful and deny to be tested for HIV, putting many at risk. Arranged marriages here are not uncommon and can include a dowry. These trends begin at a young age. It is not uncommon to see a small girl carrying a baby on her back. Often times when I ask young girls what they do for fun they respond, “Washing plates,” or “Cleaning clothes.” Even tonight at our “Cultural Dance Night,” when the girls got on stage, they faced the wall the entire time as they moved their hips in ways that I didn’t even know were possible. Beliefs about gender roles are deeply imbedded in most African cultures. At the same time, however, we have encountered many extraordinary women during our time in Zambezi.
Two in particular, Momma Josephine and Momma Kuwatu, are possibly some of the strongest women I have ever known. Momma Josephine, our Luvale instructor, has been a leader in Zambezi since she was in her twenties. Forty years later Momma J has been a political presence and advocate for multiple causes, all while raising eight children as a single mother. Josephine’s husband left her when she refused to engage in a polygamous marriage, another common occurrence here in Zambia. Though she lost two of her children, Josephine continued to be an example in the community. We got the opportunity to visit her home: though a modest mud-brick home from the outside, we could sense the love and memories on the interior. She showed us her fishing net, as she lives right on the river, and the well from which she and the other women of the community gather water for cooking and cleaning. I was shown what a strong woman Momma J was when, while we were teaching a mini-leadership class in Dipolata, Momma called out three young women sitting in on the class. Though our Luvale knowledge is negligible to say the least, it was evident that she was telling the girls that they, too, could be leaders. Watching Momma empower those three girls in a way that only she could was incredible.
Here in Zambezi, our meals are prepared by Momma Kuwatu. I was lucky enough to be the first in group two to be Momma’s helper, which entails going to the market and helping to cook lunch and dinner. During that time, I got to know Momma’s story. Momma arrived in Zambezi in 1992 after her parents passed away and got married soon after. Not only does she spend most of her day with us, she also has to take care of her seven children who range from sixteen years to nine month old baby Joshua. Momma is quiet, hardworking, and has a huge heart. She emits grace and patience, and I truly believe she cares for each one of us like her own children. Momma reminds me of my own grandmother who had seven children as well. Both momma and grandma are incredibly patient and put others above themselves always. Being around someone so selfless and caring is incredibly comforting. Momma truly spoils us by serving comfort foods from home like pasta, fried chicken, and, my personal favorite, banana bread with peanut butter frosting. While I was Momma’s helper, I even taught her how to make one of my mother’s specialties: potato latkes. Momma Kuwatu gives us a little bit of home, even on the other side of the world. It’s hard for me to understand why women like Momma Josephine and Momma Kuwatu aren’t fully appreciated, let alone praised, in this culture.
While being a black woman in Zambia has it’s own subtleties, being a white woman here has a completely different dynamic. We girls were instructed previous to the trip to dress modestly: that is, having our shoulders and legs covered while in public, which is the norm for most women here. However, we could be covered head to toe and still attracted male attention, due simply to the color of our skin. Cat calls and marriage proposals are a daily occurrence for us girls. Though harmless, the extra attention is uncomfortable. Today, I traveled to the market twice. The first time, I was accompanied by two men as well as another woman, an uneventful trip. The second, I was with two females. On this trip, a man followed us and asked multiple times if we were married, to which we answered ‘yes,’ and if we were faithful to our husbands. This man followed us for about thirty minutes until he got the message that we weren’t interested. Another group of men yelled, “I want to make you mine, come over here, I want to take you with me” from their car. I couldn’t help but note to Anne, as we were walking away, that this would not have happened had we either been men, or been with men. When we attended a Mikishi ceremony (a cultural dance) many drunken men attempted to dance with us girls, standing a bit too close and touching our backs and hair, and were only deterred when one of the men in the group told them that we were “theirs.” While this happens in the US as well, and these comments are harmless, it is apparent to me that because we are white women, this behavior is seen as okay to many.
These observations definitely do not represent the totality of Zambia, simply the musings of a Sociology major. As most of this blog indicates, we have been welcomed warmly by many and I truly feel at home here. As well, women are celebrated here in many ways. The birth of a baby is a huge celebration, and motherhood in Zambia is quite unique. For one, the babies and the mother and constantly touching for the first few months of life. Being strapped to their mothers back creates an immediate bond. Women comprise the majority of the choruses that have made masses so incredible and never fail to provide a bountiful, delicious meal. A few nights ago, we were asking what we would bring back to America, but not in terms of physical baggage. I will bring back an appreciation for my womanhood, as well as the incredible women in my life, who have instilled a sense of pride and dignity in me, simply because I am who I am. Paige Brunett. Loved by God and others. Chindele. Strong as only a woman could be.
Peace & Kisu Mwane,
Paige Brunett, Class of 2014
P.S.- Mom, David, Hannah, Josh, and Bill, I love you all, see you in a few days!
P.P.S- Dad- see you in July!
P.P.P.S- to all of the family and friends who read and comment on this blog, we can’t express how much we appreciate your love and support!
Paige and all,
Thanks for continuing to provide us with such insight into your adventures and life in Zambezi. I am reading each blog every day and each time I continue to be more amazed by the people of Zambezi (and in Paige’s blog, more specifically the women of Zambezi) and by all of you and what you are doing and experiencing. We are all so proud of you and our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Enjoy your last few days in Zambezi – have fun, continue to experience and be safe.
Rick (Jay’s dad)
Jay – it thundered the other night and guess where your mighty golden retriever, Miss Goldie ended up – on your bed – I think that is now her “safe place” during thunder storms. Love you buddy, Pops
Paige —
An insightful post, and I can imagine that some of your observations were difficult to put into words. Nevertheless, you had the courage to do so.
You are so fortunate to know Momma Josephine and Momma Kuwatu. I wish I had the opportunity. They seem to be amazing and loving women. I’m glad you see the two Momma’s strengths in your grandmother and mother, too. In fact, you have been blessed with many strong women in your family. May their dignity, courage, humanity and love of life be a big part of your persona, as well.
Indeed, IF Women ruled, the world would be better place! Now Go! and take Momma J and Momma K’s “strengths” with you.
Cheers! and see you in July/Aug.
Dad
Dear Paige,
As women we need strong women role models and it is a blessing if we find them in our family! So happy for you that you have found strong women to appreciate in your Zambian family as well as home. I wish I could know Mama Josephine and Mama Kuwatu, as I think I would love them!
Kate, if appropriate, please give them a hug from me for enriching your experience there!! 🙂 So, Saturday midday finds me with Daddy on the road to join Poppop in Coronado and Griffin in bed after a Grad night experience at Disneyland! 🙂 He had made plans with Savannah for the beach tomorrow thus reason why we are all not headed to Coronado. I’m thinking of heading to the beach myself…maybe taking Dixie to the dog beach. 🙂
I’ve been wondering what Zambia smells like! 🙂 TL always spoke of the smells of India…are you aware of any? 🙂 Imagining that you are taking it all in…smells, sights, sounds…and touches…all unique to Zambezi! All part of setting your memories.
Sending you love today and hoping these last days are full of Zambian blessings…
xoxoxoxo
My girl,
I’m so happy yo have had the chance to hear from you again; I thought that your voice might be very different from the voice I heard shortly after you arrived in Zambia. But it’s you, with the same compassion, the same commitment and the same desire to understand what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m so proud of you, and of the way you’ve chosen to live your life!
I’m convinced that women – Zambian women, women who live in Chicago, women in Hawaii or Palau or in Marseille (your heritage is far-flung) – simply see things differently. That serves us well in some instances, but can also cause us to throw up our hands in frustration. The challenge is to remember that it’s really not about them and us. We’re all in it together, all connected and tasked with giving of ourselves to those who need us.
It’s a wonderful world, and your family, and all your friends, are so fortunate to have you and your fellow students in it. You will do great things, for and with others, and we’ll love you every step of the way.
Your mom.
PS – Aunt Mo is with G&G, and she’ll read your words to them. They’re eager to hear from you, although the whole blog thing has pretty much escaped them. I’m just warming up to it myself.
I know none of you are ready to hear this – but safe travels to all!
Dear Momma J,
I think I speak for all the moms and dads when I say – thank you! Thank you for caring for our kids. They’re so lucky to have known you, you have taught them well, and I know that you will be with them always.
Love,
Ann
You may all add to your lists: Brave, adventurous, vivacious, courageous, compassionate, caring, open & loving, appreciated, loved and missed!
Helllooooo Paige and all you chindeles in Group2,
Thank you for sharing Mama Josephine and Mama Kuwatu’s stories. I never knew Mama J’s story but to read about it now, with the possibility that I may never meet her again, it empowers me to do something great for the world. With her two feet for support and 16 more to feed, she lives true to her values, knowing and only going for what she wants. She has so much self respect and I truly, truly, admire that. Although being back home, I feel that the blogs that each of you have written allow me to vicariously continue my Zambian experience. There are so many lessons packed in each blog that you write. Every blog post has something that reminds me of Zambezi and gives me strength to apply what I have learned there to my life here. It’s crazy, each person has a story to tell and within that story defines why we are the way we are. Gahh, you got me thinking.
Anyway, I hope you are all still healthy and taking yo drugz (aka malaria pills). Tunasakwilila mwane for taking the time and putting love in to every post that you all write! Cannot wait to continue reading your lovely posts 🙂
I wish I knew how to say love in Luvale but I don’t so….
Chimene Mwane & “HOW R U”,
Hikaru
Paige!
This seems to be the blog post that everyone wants to write right before they get distracted by a more pressing topic or experience. It seems even we are guilty of taking these women for granted. That is why the subject of this post is so important and so meaningful, especially to the people who have been blessed enough to know the women you mentioned. Thank you for giving them the kudos they deserve!
I can’t wait to share the eyes, lobes and noses of our Zambiam experiences together when we’re both back in Spokane!
Megs,
Sat at home and read 180 pages of the Hunger Games tonight. By myself. It was worth it. Also, I’m having major chitenge envy of you in this photo! See you in a proximal amount of days my friend!
Dear Paige:
So well said. It is so wonderful that you all have enjoyed your experiences in Zambia and gained so much from each of them. Thank you for sharing so openly your very personal feelings. We look forward to having you home.
Fondly, barb reid (anne’s mom)
Aloha Paige!
Trinity: Are you really in Africa? That is so COOL!
Tiare: Whoooooa, you’re in Africa! Mommy, I miss Paige.
Kylie: That’s awesome!
Telbs: We love and miss you and are all very proud of you!
Your loving (jealous) cousins!!!
Paige,
Its with great joy we all read your words, and are so touched. We are touched for what you and all your fellow students have experienced this month, it’s just wonderful. I sense such personal growth, a stonger sense of self, and a young woman who is ready to tackle the world. We miss you and can’t wait to see you, especially if you’ll join me this weekend at DQ.
Travel safe,
With love, Bill
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Hi Brady…..oh, I mean Paige….Couldn’t resist, Paige! This one’s for you, yes it is:)
LOVE this photo. Not only are the Chindele Women of Gonzaga looking so good, I love seeing the pix of Mama Kuwatu. She looks so contented and proud of her students who have graduated from “Mama Kuwatu’s Schoool of Fine Zambian Cuisine”! I love how Mama Kuwatu continues to add a touch of Chindele cuisine to her menus. She must have quite a collection of Chindele recipes that grows with each new Group that comes!!! Yum, now she has your family’s special potato latke recipe, Paige…A lovely gift to leave with Mama.
Thank you for sharing the stories of Mama Kuwatu and Mama Josephine. We all cannot help to be inspired by their strength and courage. Both, each I their own ways, survivors. Survivors in the circumstances they found themselves in…survivors to go beyond those circumstances. Courageous to keep doing what they know they need to do. They have both been blessed by something in their spirits that causes them to pursue those intrinsic qualities that makr them a blessing and inspiration to those they meet.
Mama Kuwatu does remarkable things with all the family responsibilities she has and all she does for all of you….Doesn’t seem like there would be enough hours in the day or energy to do it all! Yet, she somehow does it, and with kindness, grace, and genuine love for both her family and her Gonzaga family. I’m thinking Mama K, and her helpers, prepare lunch and dinner for about 22 Zags (and that is at each sitting)! That’s probably about 40 some meals @ 22 guests per meal. Yikes! I’d tell Dr. Josh, I quit…I’d turn in my resignation in triplicate! Yup, no doubt about it, for lots of reason, Mama Kuwatu is amazing. Mama Kuwatu. Woman of Faith. Mother. Gentle strength. Zambien.
Oh, and what you shared about Mama Josephine…Survivor, strong, courageous, inspirational, a leader, a beautiful spirit that will always find ways to motivate other women. She has a calling that is so evident and so strong. God given. How this one woman has affected this community is beyond description. It appears she has influenced this community more than any one, including any man. Mama Josephine. Godly. Leader. Strong. Zambien. Female.
Thank you, Paige, for the honest way you shared how Chendele women (doesn’t help that you are all young and beautiful) are sometimes looked upon. You touched on some areas that I, nervously, have wondered about…I’m really glad you are a Sociology Major or you may never have wanted to share some of these slightly, or more than slightly, uncomfortable observations. Just know that we have appreciated your candidness! Thank you, again, Paige.
Group 2, I know that I may have posted this after you have already read the “comments” for this morning. I know you are getting ready to leave. We have loved sharing this incredible journey with all of you. Thank you for sharing from deep within your hearts. We have not only learned much from you, but all of you were able to share the wonderful qualities of the people of Zambia. Our lives will also never be quite the same…In a good way!
Love to all as you travel back home to all of us.
Kisu mwane..
P.S. Stef, we’ll be in the “cell lot” at SeaTac, waiting for your call on Friday! Maybe, some other parents of Group 2 will be there too! We’ll be in a dark, blue, Chrysler mini van. license number: ZHK something! Come and knock on our window and say ” Hey, Chindele, let’s go kill a chicken!”