The power has just come back on in the small, tidy eating area of the Simoonga’s household. Alexander, the father of the family and a man with an open smile, low voice, and small scar on his left cheek is sitting across the table from Analise and I as we finish our dinner of nshima, dried fish, pumpkin leaves and beans with sweet potatoes and Recoffy for dessert. The light above us illuminates the cement room: several windows covered with clean white curtains, a table in the corner with a television proudly displayed upon it (along with Season Two of The Vampire Diaries, the preferred television show of Alexander’s oldest son, Domitt), and several pictures of Jesus hung on the white and turquoise walls. He is speaking of Heaven, a subject that has always elicited two reactions from me: hope and fear. Hope is always the first I experience, a warm feeling accompanied by the light-suffused images of my brother, grandparents, and friends who I have been told I might see again, when my proverbial “time on Earth” is done. Fear always follows, though the reason why is far less distinct. Perhaps I am afraid I won’t deserve it in the end, or maybe I worry it doesn’t exist; but tonight the fear never comes, not as I listen to Alexander’s voice, which emerges through the nighttime sounds of dogs barking, cars passing on the road outside, and the sports commentary of the Spain-France soccer game which flashes in the corners of my vision.
“I believe in making Heaven where we are,” Alexander is saying, “I believe that where we are, we make Heaven for ourselves by improving the things around us, by showing care for the things we have.” He remarks on the universal habit of looking up when talking about Heaven, as though it is a place that is suspended high above us, hiding behind a cluster of clouds, dodging the airplanes. He holds his long, creased palm several inches above the flowered tablecloth, and says, “For an insect that is looking up, this is Heaven, this space right here under my hand. But we people live in this space every day. What the insect sees as Heaven is not Heaven, it is where we are, it is Earth. Heaven is not a place that is so far away. Heaven is just here.” Spain scores a goal, and two dogs are fighting over some scrap of food outside; Alexander keeps talking and mosquitoes are making my ankles a buffet, but my mind is elsewhere, and somewhere within it the angelic images of sun-gilded clouds and white-robed figures of my departed loved ones have disappeared. My conception of Heaven is being rewritten within my mind:
It is a shower of dust particles suspended in the pink light of a Zambian morning; it is the pond littered with lily-pads and emblazoned with the sight of a red sun rising. Heaven is the shutter of surprise I experience when a hand shows up in mine unexpectedly. Heaven is being moved to tears. It is loving through confusion and often in spite of it. Heaven is walking alongside. Heaven exists in back-cracks and head scratches, small favors, and remembrances. Heaven dwells in hearts that listen far better than ears could ever hope to hear. Heaven is Mutinta covering me with a blanket when she thinks I’m still asleep. Heaven is Domitt teaching me how to make nshima under a multiplicity of stars. Heaven is Daniel’s wide smile, teeth as white and smooth as dominoes, and just as big. Heaven is in our great thankfulness for no-bake cookies and pizza (with cheese!), and it is in our unforgettable indebtedness to each other. It is Mateo’s depth; Brady’s commitment; Paige’s perseverance; Anne’s easy company; Dave’s insightfulness; Analise’s contagious positivity; Alex’s curiosity; Melissa’s sense of perspective; Kyle’s quiet strength; Erin’s exuberance; Kate’s laughter; Jay’s deep faith; Stef’s attentiveness; Nolan’s empathy; Josh’s awareness.
Heaven is all of these things, and all the things that I have failed to recognize, even now. If I have learned one thing from my time in Zambia, which is now so swiftly coming to a close, it is this: To find Heaven, don’t look up, because Heaven is simply God’s presence, and it is as Alexander said: “just here.” It has been with us the whole time.
Megan Dempsey
Class of 2014
P.S.
Mom – I can’t wait to give you a big hug when I get back! I’m excited to share clothes again, to drive you around and run errands with you, to grab Starbucks on our way to JP II, to sit in the sun, and to laugh at funny things with you again.
Dad – I have a big hug saved up for you too! I hope you’ve been looking up some good music to show me when I get home. I expect at least one night when we stay up much too late listening to all the songs you’ve tracked down since I’ve been gone. Maybe on our way to Illinois we can have a late night jam session. I’ll drive!
Erin – I literally can’t wait to see your face. I’ve looked back on the picture of us together here, and I feel like I’m living out what you said in the letter you left me. I can’t wait to see this experience through your eyes. I’m thinking we chow down on some souped-up minute rice, no-bake cookies, and blackberries while watching a movie marathon when I get back. I love you, buddy.
Everyone else: Thank you so much for supporting us and loving us through this experience. You are God’s presence as well, and we have felt your beautiful accompaniment all the way across the world.
So I just had my bowl of yogurt and granola, my stomach is finally getting used to having lactose again! I was like toot-too-doot and went on Gonzagainzambezi.org and went to go see who’s post it was and I was like oh yeah Megan Dempsey! AND THEN I scrolled back up and saw Alexander’s name and was like no way.. HOME STAYS? ALEXANDER? MEGAN?? And I put my spoon down and read your blog. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I can picture the exact dining room you were in and Domity just being so smart and a great teacher on how to make nshima as well as Mutinta giggling at almost anything! Lauren and I stayed at Alexander’s for home stays and gah, his view of Heaven is so magnificent. Thank you for sharing this story, Megan, and it’s 11:07AM right now and you have just made my day so great. You reminded me that as I type this, and as you read this comment aloud, we are all in Heaven. I will live today and hopefully this feeling of safety and existing in the moment carries on. I really enjoyed reading the part where you name your group and how they embody Heaven. You bring tears to my eyes.. 🙁 🙂 Big hugs and Zambian handshakes to you all.
“Go forth and set the world on fire.” -St. Ignatius Loyola,
Hikaru
Ps. My favorite line “Heaven dwells in hearts that listen far better than ears could ever hope to hear” that’s my goal for today, listen to someone with my heart, Thanks Meg!
Thank you, Megan, for the reminder that heaven is all around us. We must enjoy each moment and look around us and engage with the world.
I look so forward to seeing Anne. I know that all your families are anxious to see each of you at the end of this week. Travel safely.
Fondly, barb reid 🙂
Megs,
I think I’m going to frame this. For cerial (cereal?). This is beautiful. Thanks.
I’ve been leaving little weird notes on so many other people’s blog posts, and now it seems as if I have nothing creepy to say. I’m a bit surprised just how disappointed I am about this. No matter (morph I to British voice, and maybe brandish the British teeth for your fellows). I’m just so very excited to see you in a few short days. Lovely. Lovely, lovely!
Mentally questionable and excited to see you.
Did I mention I’m excited to see you? Yikes. Redundant.
Megan et al,
Every time I read a blog from Zambia I say to myself “How can these kids write like this? How did they become so insightful?” and I always think that I’ve read the best, the brightest, the most provocative – and then I read the next entry, and my amazement begins all over again.
Thanks for giving me a glimpse of these past few weeks, for helping me remember that there are so many ways to look at life other than the ways that have become my habit. Thanks for reminding me to think about heaven, and so my faith, upon which I rely more steadily as I get older.
I may not get the chance to ever meet many of you, but I already feel that I know you. And you’re all welcome to come to our house for latkes, any time!
Love,
Ann
PS – Perseverant Paige – you’re in my heart.
Meg,
This made me cry which I am sure doesn’t surprise you. I throughly enjoy getting a continued glimpse of your experiences through this blog. It is good to acknowledge the times we are so blessed to experience heaven here on earth. I don’t recognize this enough. I hope through your inspiration to try and do better 🙂
“Heaven dwells in hearts that listen far better than ears could ever hope to hear.” WOW, is all I can think to say. This will really stay with me….
I can’t wait to see you on Friday! I love and miss you more than words can express.
Group 2 will continue to be in my daily prayers!
Peace and blessings to all of you!
love mama
Megs-
First, thanks for the great visual of your home stay! So great to hear how you have all grown in your experiences over the past three weeks. Second, I miss you dearly, and although I’m glad that you’re having such a great experience, I look forward to you return in 5 short days. I know how long you have been looking forward to this trip, and I’m glad it is giving you so much to contemplate. Continue to accompany those you encounter and grow closer with those in Group 2.
We look forward to the safe return of the group back to the USA and to hearing about all you’ve experienced!
Love,
Papa
P.S. Loving me some O.A.R. – let’s talk!
Megan,
Alexander’s words are such a beautiful expression of faith, hope, and love…and yours are no less profound. Your observations challenge me to pray that my “heavenly sight” would be sharpened. You are so right – recognizing God’s presence each day does not mean, “looking up.” And for me, it is a reminder of what it will mean to be IN His presence. This little verse seemed to fit.
Glimpses of Heaven, – God’s presence with us,
The daily reminders – That cause me to trust;
And on that blest day, – With joy unrestrained,
I’ll stand in His presence, – And give Him my praise.
P.S. Stef, Mom’s cleaning your room (omg). I tried to keep the rock and roll in it’s one true home, but we will have a lot of restoration work to do. The guitars are tuned, the drums are warmed up, and we can’t wait. Love you so! Dad.
P.S. Dippy has talked me into buying new tennis balls for you to throw!
Kisu Mwane to you all (That’s my very first Kisu Mwane! Feels GOOD!)
Steve
Dear Megan,
Thank you for your descriptive intro to Alexander, his home and his concept of Heaven. I believe we can find Heaven on Earth in the blessings of each day…one of my favorite Heaven quotes is “A happy family is but an earlier Heaven.” (John Bowring)…:) and now yours about Heaven dwelling in hearts…:)
Eek! Its days now until we can put our arms around you, Kate!!! Countdown has most certainly begun!! 🙂 Am stocking ice cream and baking for your return! 🙂 Got some new recipes from Pinterest! Oh dear what a time sink!! But so fun! 🙂
Praying for angels all around each one of you on the journey home. Wish you could all stop in LA on the way so we could meet you!!
xoxoxo Mama/Kate’s Mom
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% positive. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you