I’ll begin by admitting that I was the first to mess with the blog schedule…sorry everyone! I actually became very sick on Tuesday night, worse than I can ever remember (don’t worry Mom and Dad, I am very well now!). I am blessed to have Susan, Conner and the rest of our Zamily. I would have been much more miserable if it weren’t for their constant comfort.
Spending the day in bed gave me time to listen and think and observe the daily grind here at the convent, reminding me what an incredible place we are living in, and with such a wonderful group. It’s nearly impossible to translate my feelings into words on a blog, let alone choose one of the plethora of ideas swimming in my mind. I know these reflections will not be complete until long after I return home. I have experienced moments of both unhindered joy and deep sorrow, and have already felt the fruitfulness of living in another culture. Though we are studying abroad through Gonzaga’s leadership program, I realize I haven’t thought about leadership on a daily basis. Maybe it’s because the traditional definition of top-down leadership isn’t applicable or appropriate here. Through my year at GU and now through the people I am spending time with here in Zambezi, more and more I’m coming to believe that servant leadership is about meeting needs.
Our work here in Zambia is less about “us” teaching “them” and more about reciprocity – everyone teaching one another. Meeting needs as a servant leader in this way is not what I’d expected. I’ve been discouraged at times by my inability to fully love each of the dozens of children who need a hand to hold. I must remind myself of the more complex needs I am called to address while in Zambezi and its surrounding villages. A servant leader who is committed to meeting needs should think critically about her time, resources and goals when choosing how she serves. Successfully meeting needs is not simply providing resources where resources are lacking; it requires a certain awareness, willingness and love that dares to cross borders. She must give, and she must humbly receive. Sometimes she needs to step forward, sometimes take a step back.
Meeting the need happens when you accept the never-ending generosity of Mama Gertrude during your homestay. You follow Gertrude’s authentic nshima recipe over hot coals under the stars. You feel somewhat like you’ve intruded upon the lives of the six people living in a modest home, but they tell you over and over yes, yes please, thank you, you are welcome. You are welcome here. You eat with her family without lifting a finger and sleep in her cleaned bed and bathe in the warm water she spent an hour preparing for you. Together you walk to church, sing and dance your heart out and you and Gertrude laugh from your belly with all the other Zambians in response to your awkward dance attempts. You thank her ten times over, knowing fully that your thanksgiving will never repay all she gave to you.
It’s when you’re dancing for an hour in a village circle with twelve-year-old Micha shaking your groove thang and wholeheartedly laughing till your face hurts and your feet are brown with dust and you’re darn tired, all because you know you simply need to say yes in that moment. You tell Micha to stay in school and work hard and she is going to change the world. When you say goodbye she calls you sister and you know that you’ve touched each other in a lasting way, although you’ll never meet again. The fatigue of that evening readily gave way to the need for fellowship, and your fellowship was fruitful.
It’s even when you’re walking down a dusty path in Dipalata. The homesick feeling starts to take root. You could easily close into your circling thoughts, yet you must command yourself to remain where you are, to dwell on the river and the smiles and the lush scenery. You choose to remain open because the nature of this place and these vibrant people demand your attention. You begin to snap pictures of a few children, and this ends in an episode of funny faces and giggles and running. You stepped forward into the opportunity and met a need you had no idea was waiting.
It’s when you find yourself in a huddle of children reading “Whoever You Are” after a few girls pleaded for a story. Your reading captivates the children. The young boy at your side quietly starts to read. You encourage him to keep reading, he and you switching back and forth rhythmically in unspoken understanding. You are mesmerized by the boy’s confident, measured, melodic words and for some reason your soul is filled to the brim. You gave what the children needed; they unknowingly gave it right back to you.
You’ve no idea what will be required of you upon arriving in Nsangula. Your group has come with lessons in nutrition and childcare. You sit in chairs under a shady tree in the breeze as your students gather around. A short while into the lesson your group looks beyond the immediate audience and suddenly notices the sprawling crowd that has gathered, at least two hundred men, women and children. Your lesson is now a village-wide event. The people are hungry for information, willing to listen and deeply grateful for your presence in their secluded community. You decide to rise to the challenge—literally you rise out of your chair to speak the message burning in your heart, telling the community with slow deliberation that they are the leaders who can make a change in their community, in Zambia, and that you want the girls to stay in school and study hard and do great things. You were not prepared for this soapbox moment, you do not feel competent in this position, but somehow they handed it to you and you stepped forward.
Being a servant leader in Zambia is challenging, and the things we are called to give and receive are hard. Sometimes I am set on a pedestal of undeserved power and reverence I never asked for; these are the times I need to accept my position and give all I have. Other times I am overwhelmed by the unrelenting generosity of these wholesome people; in these humbling moments I must keep receiving. Whether the need at hand is to give or to receive, leaning inward with love for the people around you, I feel, is the beginning of servant leadership. Often I believe the Zambians are stronger servant leaders than myself, exuding such a fullness of self-assurance, trust in those they are serving, and endless love. I will continue to admire and learn from the Zambians’ incredible hospitality that amounts to a love greater than I’ve even attempted.
“To whom much has been given, much is required” (Luke 12:48). Giving and receiving here in Zambia is not only challenging, but paradoxical. Our blessings of education and resources and more compel us to serve those who are less fortunate, as a few students have already talked about. But here we are in Zambia, receiving abundantly everyday from those we came to serve. The people have very little, yet they give and they praise Jesus and then they give more. Their generosity compels me to give on a larger scale. I pray I can carry on the light these people have sparked.
Love and hugs to all my friends and family back home. To Mom, Dad and Christian, I hope the move went well and give Mia an extra treat for me. I miss all you people like crazy and cannot wait to share stories in more depth once we return.
Much love and kisu mwane,
Savannah Bukant, Class of 2015
Savannah,
Your thoughts are beautifully written and give me goosebumps just reading it. WOW. It gives me so much to think about and reflect how I am living my own life and how I want to change it.
Morgan, good job with the chicken!! Dang girl, that takes guts (pun intended) Also, Happy Birthday to Helen! That is so true about the mirror, we put our image on a pedestal and often make it the most important priority.
Love from Farmington, NM,
Mackenzie
Savannah,
First of all, I am SO sorry you were sick but I’m glad you’ve recovered well and that even at that low point, you found things to be thankful for. I know that feeling, and its not an easy one to remain positive in. Shout out to Conner- sounds like you were extremely supportive despite the fear of catching a bug like last year (I’m sure he’s explained that misery to you all–and the fact that I may have been the one to start it. Whoopsies).
Secondly, your post was so incredible Savannah. I’m actually at a loss for what to even say in response because it was that insightful and well-written. Your stories are heart-warming and beautiful. I loved reading about how deeply your experiences have touched you and I’m excited for you to dive into all the adventures awaiting you. T.B.I.Y.T.C! Despite the hardships, continue to embrace that mindset that you will be called to serve what is needed, and that you are making a difference even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Lastly, THANK YOU for the group photo! I’ve been dying to see some of your smiling faces. Girls you all look so, so beautiful. Seriously each of you are bursting with joy and I’m not kidding when I say I keep scrolling up to sneak a peak and then find myself creepily smiling at the computer screen for a few minutes. Cecilia, lucky you gettin’ to stand right next to James in the photo 😉 Such a hunk.
Mark and Conner I’m beyond excited to hear from you. Conner I have no doubt you’ve been the most incredible addition to this year’s group and they are SO blessed to have you! Cant wait to chat about what it was like to go back. Mark, love you, miss you, and we are sooo getting coffee as soon as you’re home. To whoever posts next on the blog, please try and include a picture with these two in it! I miss their faces.
Jeeze its hard for me to keep it short with these comments. I swear I really do have a life.
Gwaku Nzanga,
Katie McCann
Savannah Banana,
Tears of joy well up in my eyes in honor of your beautiful, one-of-a-kind experiences that God has blessed you so richly with in Zambia. It is clear Holy Spirit is working IN you as well as THROUGH you. Keep Loving on those kids. Can’t wait to hear more!
BTW–we just invested in a chicken farm!
Love you to “the moon and back”!
Mom
Oh Savannah! The blog you wrote so touched our hearts, and of course grandpa cried as he read it. We are so proud of you and your fellow students for the gifts you are giving and the blessings you are receiving . One of the highlights of my day is to read the current blog. We have laughed and also grimaced at times as the stories are told. Can’t wait until you come home so you can bust out those new dance moves!!! Be well and know all of you are in our prayers. Love you. G&G
Savannah!
Not too long ago we went on a picnic and talked about all of your worries and excitements for Zambia. I remember you talking about how you wanted it to impact and change you, but were worried that somehow it wouldn’t.
Now, reading your beautiful blog post, I see you and your love stretching wider than I have ever seen it. I see you seeking, loving, fighting, and laughing in all of these precious places and with these precious people, where I sought and loved and fought and laughed. And it fills me with the greatest happiness and pride and a sudden surprise of joy, that the love and legacy of Zambezi is expanding in you.
You are a light. I can see your love blooming. God’s spirit in you is shown in every act. Keep at it, lovely girl.
And sorry about being sick. Totally have been there.
Hope you all had a lovely weekend in Dippalata (a place a little less precious to me) and are working well in your projects! Teachers! Hope your classes are going well and your students are enjoying all of your lessons and games and songs. Any one learn any new clapping games? Anyone caught a goat yet?
Zambia Gold Team: How are the beeeees?! My apartment has become ZG central with summer projects heating up. Can’t wait for you all to be back!
Lili: I had a dream last night that I went to Yakima and sat in your yard and your parents kept trying to tell me that you were in Africa, but I was intent on eating watermelon slices with you and would not leave. I think we need to make this dream come true. Except with the addition of you, in the yard, eating watermelon slices with me.
Blessing and prayers for you all!
Lucy
Hi Sweetie,
Your blog touched me deeply because it captures the essence of why you are there. (and you get it!) And thank your for sharing your experience so intimately with such a range of emotion. It I felt like I was there with you. I am so very proud of you and the entire group. I am praying for continued blessings and safety.
So sorry you were under the weather but grateful for your quick recovery.
Ich liebe dich!
Dad
Oh my goodness. Savannah, I am deeply sorry that I did not give you a shout out in my previous post. I saw the image of you smiling and thought to myself HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY FORGOTTEN?!?!
Beautiful, beautiful reflection. I love that you’re continue to grow in your understanding of servant-leadership and what it truly means to be a servant to someone meanwhile leading a group through that process. I bet Dr. Josh is very proud of you… (hi Josh!)
Savannah, as I read your post, I reflected upon the events that took place in my life today and the events that took place in your life. We’ve once walked a very similar path, Bulldog alley, Crosby student center, COG/BARC, Rudolf Fitness Center and here we are, today (or yesterday) walking very different paths. Today, I went to a SF Giants game (we won 8-1 over the Minnesota Twins.. it was a sweeeep!) and had tea in Berkeley, CA. And you, with your ZamFam walked the streets of Zambezi, absorbing all that surrounds you, people, dust, chickens, children, beetles at night… I’m not here to degrade the experience I lived today but I can’t help and ponder about how much opportunity is given to us in a single day. At the end of the day, it is our personal responsibility and our personal choice as to how much we take away. This quote is lengthy but put in money terms, I feel like it makes things easier to understand (unfortunately)
“Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to used during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course? Each of us has such a bank, it’s name is time. Every morning, it credits you 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off at a lost, whatever of this you failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and health. The clock is running. Make the most of today”
Thank you for the reminder that wherever we are in the world, whether it be in Zambezi, Spokane, or San Francisco, it is our individual duty to make the most of each day. I hope that as each of you continue on with your Zambezi experience, you strive to soak the most of each and every single day and that this drive continues after your trip. Life happens every where. In Zambezi, in Spokane, and in your hometown. If you woke up on the wrong side of bed today, put on a fake smile for 25 seconds and go make someone else’s day, I hope you’re up for this challenge.
Your blog posts mean so much to me and so many others, thank you for your genuine words. Savannah, I’m so so proud of you and I hope you are holding on to the golden nuggets you got in East LA too! Shannon and Helen, you both too! xoxo.
Okie dokes! Enjoy nshima and jungle oats! Seriously, you’ll miss it one day.
More celebrity updates to come 😉 just not today.
Have a spectacular day and go set the world on fire!
Hikaru
Savannah- glad to hear you’re feeling better and had a quick turn-around recovery time! I’m glad Conner was able to help you as I’m certain he was sympathetic due to having the same “issues” last Summer in Zambezi! You look at peace in the above pic and your reflection was simply awesome. Keep sharing your Servant Leadership (Agape) messages as I’m certain it’s well received by the Zambians. As we are here back home celebrating our veterans of war this Memorial Day, It’s the total opposite where you ZAGS are…..no military and I believe no past war(s) in Zambia? I think I recall Conner stating that a lot of the homes in Zambezi don’t even have roofs…..if that isn’t a reflection of the trust and security felt within their community! On the other hand…..I’m not a fan of snakes…..so, I think I would go to any length to button down the hatches 🙂 Stay safe, enjoy every moment and you all are greatly loved!!
Momma House.
Savannah, absolutely beautiful reflection.
In fact, all of them have been such a refreshing exercise to read. I have a 9-hr layover so I’m playing catch up…know that I’m thinking about and loving you all from afar.
Such authentic thoughts as you all have wrestled with the very questions I’m still working through. Keep living them! Thank you all for keeping me intentional by the words you write.
My parents gave me a book for graduation called “The Purpose Driven Life” and there’s a quote in it that reads:
“Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can always make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.”
Shoutout to Beck for this one (still copying your daily verse practice), “My children, our love should not just be words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action” John 3:18.
The Zambians seem to be on to something here. Spell your love with your time — love-in-action — and always remember how wonderful it feels to have someone’s unconditional care, concern, and joy in sharing their time with you.
My challenge to all of you during the next two weeks you spend in Zambezi is not to worry if you are spending your time “the right way,” but rather, striving to simply slow down and share it. With your home stay families, your students, the stranger you meet on the road, your Zamily.
I am wishin you all well! Mwanes on mwanes!
With agape,
Bread
On this “time” theme, Helen, have you seen “In Time”? Watched it with the fambam last night and it’s a total tearjerker with a “life is messy and beautiful so don’t settle for passivity in contentment” kind of message. We need to have a date night and watch it. Sooo…come to New York? And being Conner with you. We need to start laying the groundwork for this non-profit.
Mark I can only imagine you romping around Zambezi with that huge smile on your face. You probably have it on right now. And now, as the whole table turns to look at you, I bet you do. Miss you buddy, soak it all in!
ZG babes! YOU MET JAAAAAAAMESSSSSSSS! Worth the trip right?? 🙂
Dr. J, I stumbled across an E.B. White quote yesterday that reminded me of you. “I wake up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time.” Keep doing the small things with great love.
Another beautiful reflection. Continue to embrace what you learn from the children, they can teach you so much. Hope you are all healthy. Keeping you all in my prayers.
Melissa
Savannah,
What a beautiful reflection! How wonderful it is to recognize that regardless of the distance, the culture, the education level, and other variables, there exists a universality to our humanity through which we are able to relate in a much deeper level to one another. This shared universality seems to often get blurred by people’s lack of capabilities which hinders human flourishing. It’s in this realization that one is called to act to address, as you call them, “more complex needs”; and while it is necessary that we act on this awareness, I’ve come to the realization that often times Love is just enough. Savannah, you have been gifted with such a big loving heart that draws people to you like a magnet wherever you go, whether Gonzaga, East L.A, or Zambia. Keep sharing the love that radiates in your presence and that beautiful smile of yours! Your smile might not change someone’s life, but it sure can change their day. And while your love might not be the immediate result of attaining human capabilities, it is the best reminder of our shared humanity.
To all you other awesome chindeles, I have loved every blog that’s been posted so far. Your words revive so many memories and allow us to live vicariously through your adventures while learning important lessons alongside you. Thank you!
Kisu mwane,
Constanza
Ps. Next person that goes to James the Taylor, please tell him I say hello and give him a BIG hug for me.
Wait, yesssss! That picture you posted. I am a fan.
Girllllll, you know what’s up.