Early last week, our Gonzaga crew sat down together for lunch and quickly realized we were in for a treat. As lunch was set before us on our large table, a hefty bowl of caterpillars was placed towards the center. As most of us had not yet had the pleasure of eating caterpillars before then, many cautiously began placing a small, safe amount on their plate. Looks of concern and intrigue were passed around the table as people tentatively began to try the caterpillars. Everyone tried at least one, and though they may not have been especially tasty to all, everyone embraced the new and slightly uncomfortable experience with poise and curiosity. Besides caterpillars, Zambezi has served us some especially hefty platefuls of new and uncomfortable experiences. Working through these experiences, I have learned about the power of saying yes while embracing invitations and all else that comes my way.
Saying yes and being open to new experiences is something I find myself struggling with back home and at school. It requires one to leave comfort and control, and embrace the potential challenges, difficulties, and discomforts a new experience may bring. Zambezi seems to throw new and uncomfortable experiences our way everyday, and through this I have seen the great value that can come from saying yes. One experience of exceptional discomfort in particular occurred last week, when Mercer and I were invited by Mary, the 6o-something year-old tailor both of us visit, to join her as her guests at a community member’s wedding reception.
Neither Andrew nor myself thought much of the invitation when it was initially extended to us. However, we both decided to attend the reception out of respect to Mary. Upon our arrival at the small, stone church hall where the reception was being held, Mary took our hands and guided us all the way up to the front of the seating area. She showed us where the last two empty seats were, which she had been saving for us, in the second row. The seats happened to be directly behind the bride and groom, whom neither of us had previously met. We soon found out Mary was in fact the matron of the reception, and we were the reception’s honored guests.
As soon as we sat down, the reception began. Mercer and I were sticking out like sore thumbs, and many eyes were on us as we uncomfortably settled into our seats. There were close to fifty people at the reception, and everyone was seated in plastic lawn chairs on the dirt floor of the dimly lit church hall. Most people were not dressed up, aside from the bride and groom. As the event proceeded, we realized we would have to stay for the entire reception, though our plan was to leave early and meet our group for dinner. The reception continued, with much singing, dancing, and laughing. Some words and prayers were shared. Later, gifts were presented to the couple being honored. As Mary stood in front of the entire group to present her gift first, she asked us, “Are you ready to bring your gifts up?” Neither Mercer nor myself came prepared with gifts, so we exchanged a disparaging look of defeat as we had to tell Mary and announce to everyone else we did not in fact come prepared with gifts for the bride and groom. Coincidentally, we learned it was also the bride’s birthday, making the situation all that more hard to sit through.
Soon after gifts were presented, food was served. As the honored guests at the reception, we were served first with Mary, before the bride and groom, on the front stage in front of the entire crowd. We receive our fried chicken and bottled Cokes in small Styrofoam containers, and returned to our seats to start eating as many people watched us intently. Mercer and I could not believe how out of place we were in that moment, and how awkward we felt being thrown into the reception so unprepared and unknowledgeable. We left the reception after awkwardly thanking and congratulating the bride and groom. We laughed at ourselves on our walk back to the convent at how we could not believe the experience we just had.
Though this experience caused a lot of laughter and amounts to quite a humorous story to look back on, I walked away learning a lot. Through saying yes to Mary’s invitation and embracing its entirety, I received a small glimpse into this special community. I had the chance to meet many new people, witness some cultural and communal customs, and form a new, special friendship with Mary.
I have always struggled with feeling accepted and invited by other people. I deem myself to be a burden on others, as I feel unworthy of full acceptance and invitation. Zambezi has taught me otherwise in how I have been warmly welcomed, noticed, invited, and accepted into this community, sometimes even as an “honored guest”. I find it profound how Zambezi has been teaching me to say yes to new invitations, while the community here has been saying yes to us during our entire stay. We have been graciously and humbly invited to live as a part of the Zambezi community, and Zambezi has embraced us fully. As part of this communal reciprocity, Mercer and I invited Mary to join us as our honored guest at our group’s accompaniment dinner, being held on our last night here in Zambezi.
Saying yes and embracing daily challenges and events is something I believe points us towards fully engaging in and experiencing life. I believe God invites us to say yes to His invitation to live a life of adventure every morning we wake up, and it’s up to us to accept and embrace His invitation to see what is in store for us. Zambezi has taught me this, and the learning I have done here parallels some ways in which God views us; as worthy, noticed, accepted, embraced, honored, and worthy of Him saying yes to us. I will be forever grateful for our time here in Zambezi, as it has taught me lessons I will carry with me for years to come. When you are served up a bowl full of caterpillars, make sure you ask for them to be passed your way.
Kisu Mwane,
Sam Merritt
Class of 2018
Sam,
Right now Molly Freimuth, Kelly Finn, and I are sitting in our hotel room in Bled, Slovenia laughing and smiling as we read your post. There is so much truth to what you wrote about how we need to accept how God views us. It is so cool how real your experience is and how tangible God’s lessons are being shown through you. Keep saying yes and keep changing lives.
Much love and many prayers from all three of us,
Molly, Kelly, and Amanda
***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLE*MOTION***SPARKLE*MOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLE*MOTION***SPARKLE*MOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLE*MOTION***SPARKLE*MOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION***SPARKLEMOTION!!!
Great, now that I got that out of my system…(kidding not yet, cause I’m doing the math and realizing you are surrounded by a lot of SparkleMotion members right now. Like a fair amount. It’d be cool if you all did some jazz hands right now. Just throwing it out there…)
*jazz hands*
That being said, as I was reading your blog kind of side smirking to myself, because I remember it being really hard for you (and Justin too) to give me that official “yes.” To completely commit to SparkleMotion. Which made sense, you didn’t really know me, I didn’t really know you, here we are. But once you did, there were few as committed. Ya’ll became Spirit MVPs. We did the spray paint, and we danced the dances, and it meant the world to me. You showed up glittered in discomfort (as we all did at first – myself included), and danced as completely committed radiant sparkles. Maybe we should all just dance more. Probably true.
You’re the only one I still say it too, and that makes me happy too. I guess, this is just one long-winded way saying, thank you for saying yes, and for acknowledging what it means when you do.
(also, hoping Matt saw my very tardy post on his, just throwing that glitter bomb out there as well).
Here’s to hoping for a dance-off soon!
Hi Sam,
That really was a great story, one that resonated with me and I’m sure with many others. I visited Zambezi last year as a donor to the Chilena library. While I’ve been lucky enough to have traveled to many wonderful places in this world, no place touched or taught me more than Zambezi. The things that I can easily take for granted – food, clothing, WATER, relationships, even dancing – are revered by my friends in Zambezi. Their commitment to love and to living just floors me. So enjoy those caterpillars, and munch on that goat meat and never ever feel that your special presence alone at a wedding wasn’t enough. It was. Big hugs to Jennifer, Jeff, Father Dom, Mama Josephine and especially my wonderful friend Mama Kuwatu.
Kisu Mwane,
Ann Brunett
Sam,
Thanks for taking the time and being vulnerable to discuss the power of saying yes. I’ve so loved reading the words of all of the other Zags throughout this excursion so far but it’s nice to hear them from one of the first people who made me feel like I could be accepted into a new home. I love the discussion on the initial shame and uncomfortableness when you realized that you had come empty handed. Typical you two putting a positive spin on the situation and feeling the love of the ceremony and settling into the situation. I believe that God HAS called you to yes and that the risks you are taking are all worth it. I freaked out when I saw you had finally posted on this blog, and did a happy dance on the bus in Boulder. People have may been staring, but that’s okay. Send my wishes to everyone else, Gonzaga fam misses you all, but is also so proud of all of you.
Keep taking (calculated) risks Sam and I can’t wait to hear your stories when you get back,
Anna Ogilvie
More amazingly written posts-either you all have a natural gift for writing, or you have been trained well for this task of bringing Zambezi into the homes and hearts of family and friends who anxiously await each new installment. Thank you for doing it so well.
Zachary: I love being able to picture the physical space you are in at the convent. Your words painted a picture for me. Thank you.
Katie P: Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share your whole self with us. If you can learn these things at this young age, you will be light years ahead of most.
Matthew: Thank you so much for the disclaimer at the beginning of your post. Good move. And I agree: how much we take for granted.
Sophie: How cool to make such a connection with another person in a way no one else could in that time or place. A divine appointment. I imagine each of you will have this type of one-to-one, unique experience to tell about. I am grateful that you all have this opportunity.
Meg: isn’t it awesome when we try to help others and we are the ones who are changed forever?
Sam: YES! I’ve been waiting to hear stories about caterpillars! I do hope there are pictures to document the event! (if it shows up, the emoji is a little gift for Katie K.)
Katie Grace: Hey, Soul Sister…missing you and hope you are having a fantastic time. Your BBT CD came this week and it’s killing me not to open it and listen to your sweet voice! I wouldn’t open it without your permission… (hint hint) Love you!
Blessings,
Katie’s mama
Sam! That story was so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also it was really cool what you were able to take away from it. You guys are killing it over there. It’s quite late here and I’m super tired which means I’ll make even less sense than I normally do BUT THE BLOG SURPASSES ALL BEDTIMES (disclaimer) and I really loved that story. Also just picturing you and Mercer sitting amongst the wedding party cracked me up. They really know how to pull us chindeles right into the middle of the action. Of all the places to say “yes” in, I’m glad Zambia has become that for you. You and your squad of zambaes inspires me to go out at learn about the different communities that surround me. You’re not only motivating the students you’re teaching, but all of us on the other side of this experience. Thank you for being aunthentic in your questions and reflection. You guys are just amazing. And I mean it. If had a better vocabulary, I would stop saying amazing so much, but that’s just how I feel about all of you. Keep up all the great work, reflecting, laughing, crying, pooping, and dancing (it’s all in the hips). Sam – I kind of sidetracked and talked about the group but it definitely applies to you and your blog. I especially loved the last paragraph and have a feeling I’ll refer back to it again in the future.
Justin – I just had this realization that you are in Zambia right now even though we’ve talked about it plenty of times. I hope all is well and I can’t wait to read your post! Have you shown the kids your dribbling skills ? #tbyitc
Bye felicias. Love you guys. Kisu mwane.
This is an awesome post Sam. The power of yes is incredible as you’ve so powerfully demonstrated. Thank you for sharing your story!
Handy’s Dad
Hi Sam
Great post! I’ve been checking the blog everyday and patiently waiting to hear from you. I was beaming as I snuck a peak and read it to myself during 5th period—I’m sure my students thought I was a bit loony. I couldn’t help but brag about your adventures. Your story about being invited to the wedding really resonated with me. It brought back some of my Peace Corps memories. So glad you are saying yes to the opportunities and being courageous about stepping into uncomfortable situations. That is when you meet yourself and learn the most. It’s where all the good stories come from! I can’t wait to hear yours! Sooo proud of you!!!
Love Dad
Hi Sam! it’s Gram your good-looking one!! hahaha Love the caterpillars story and the reception story. The teaching of how to say “Yes”is such a neat think to learn early in life. I expect to see you going to Costa Rica to go on the Zip line soon. Climb Everest,
climb up the Tetons with your Dad, possibly come to my 80th B.D. party–YES!
Our love and pryers are with you and many blessings remain in your special life.
Hugs, Gram and Papa
Really enjoyed your blog Sam. I am sitting with Gram, Scott, Daniel, and Tyler in our kitchen having a snack after a swim call. They bring their Golden Retriver Winter for swimming and she jumps into the pool to retrieve her ball. A real hoot!
Looking forward to seeing you. Take it easy Sam. Love, Grandpa M.
Everyone ate a caterpillar? Fried? Boiled? Saying yes to different foods is a hard one for me. Ironically, I had a “No thank you bite” rule at our table. (Katie can explain.). I suspect some of your most memorable moments will be these “yes” moments. Enjoy and keep blogging everyone!
Enjoyed reading your Blog Sam, Mary certainly picked the right honored guests!
Proud of you,
Love Uncle Scott
Sam- Your faith story and seeing the ways you live it out with such an open, willing heart has always given me hope in being able to grow in my own. The absolutely beautiful final paragraph of this blog is just one example of how you lead others to God simply through the ways you live your life. I think another example is how accepted, acknowledged, welcomed and loved you make those around you feel-it’s warming my heart to hear that you are feeling that same amount of worth, love and belonging. You are so very worthy of love and belonging-always always always. So freaking proud of you-feel so blessed to call you a friend(and neighbor-ish haha). Cannot wait to see the paths saying yes will continue to lead you down.
All my love to all of you!!!!!!!!
Tay
Sam. I think you are rad. I have heard nothing but incredible things about the person you are! The way you intertwined growth with awkward situations and laugher was honest and relatable. Thank you for being bold in sharing your faith and letting us into who you are. Maybe one day we will actually meet. Until then wishing you and the rest of your Zambezi community well!
– Carlee
Beautiful. The insight you ALL are sharing has me in awe every day. I feel very blessed that you share with us your experiences and thoughts. It’s hard to be vulnerable and reflective in a public space, but what a community you have surrounding you and supporting you – in the convent, in the Zambezi community and in your families! Do you realize how far you’ve connected all of us?
I’ve been wondering what’s the oddest thing you’ve eaten! Caterpillars may not be it, but so glad you shared that story. You all are way braver than I would ever be. I hope you danced and sang at that wedding in celebration of life, love, and hope.
Loving and praying for you all.
Mama Merc(e)…… (sorry Drew, I’m with the majority that it needs the ‘e’)
Sam,
What a great post, and I’m so happy to have your thoughtful words reaching us from far away! I halted my workday to broadcast to all the bewildered people around me that you had posted.
I love your stories and can just picture you at the wedding reception, realizing you have to fully commit to that somewhat awkward yet very rich experience. Someone else (above) used the words “intertwined growth with awkward situations” – that’s a great description. And we all need to say yes to eating our caterpillars more often. You are a brave, inspiring man!
So much love from your proud Mom
Sam!
It is great to hear that you are alive and thriving! I am so proud of you for being continuously willing to step outside of your comfort zone. Know that you are worthy, welcomed, and accepted. I cherish our friendship very much, and am thankful for all that you have done for me. You are loved my friend.
Continue to embrace your journey in Zambezi. I cannot wait for you to get home so I can hear about your adventures.
Jack
P.S. I love and miss the rest of you as well! Enjoy your time, and I cannot wait to see you all soon!!!
Sam! Thank you for opening up and being so honest with your experiences. ALL of your posts have made me appreciate each of you even more than I thought possible. You are such a bright kind soul and I am so proud and happy for you for saying yes despite the difficulties. Caterpillars? Can’t wait to hear what you thought.
Lots of love and hugs
Merritt,
I am currently sitting here laughing hysterically to myself after reading your story. Just imagining being in your situation even made me feel awkward, but I know you guys absolutely owned the discomfort and made it into a great time and memory. It has been a great privelege to know you better this year and I’m hyped to see how this experience changes you and your perspective on the world. I’m praying for you all, and my heart is filled with joy as I sit here and type because I know that God is working through you in such a beautiful way. Words cannot describe how much I am looking forward to our first family dinner at 217 Sharp because I know that you and J’s stories and experiences will impact everyone’s hearts in a powerful way. You’re a stud.
Love you brother,
Collin
Sam!
You view the world around you as an open invitation and your ability to embrace life’s outstretched hand and say yes has taken you so far- I can’t wait to see where it takes you in the future. Thank you for your beautifully written post, so full of insight and wisdom that I hope to embrace here at home.
Enjoy the caterpillars and the journey!
Love and blessings to you!
Claire
Sam,
I am so moved by your words. It is important to say yes and to also accept that we are worthy of invitation. You articulated the tension so well between the discomfort that can attend a “yes” and the blessing it can bring. All of these posts are causing me to think deeply about my choices and experience in this world. Thank you for being so transparent.
Praying for all of you! Tell Davis he is missed!!
Mama Phillips
PS
I want to meet Sam’s grandma–the good looking one!
Sam,
Thanks for sharing your Zambian adventures and being so genuine. Saying yes to life opens up doors for growing opportunities and new understandings. I know that by choosing to say “yes!”, you paved a way for more people to follow in those footsteps. Not only in this instance, but also back at Gonzaga, you set such an incredible example of an adventurous, intentional, and valuable human. Even amidst the discomfort at the wedding, God was working through you. You were able to see the positives and grow from it. I don’t think you know the impact you have on people. TBIYTC
With love always,
Maddie Schmitz
P.S. On a scale of one to a lot, how much would you rather have a bucket of red vines than a plate of caterpillars?
Sam,
What you talked about might seem like an easy thing to do, saying yes, but in reality it takes a lot of courage, especially when it leads to going out of your comfort zone. And while it seemed like an unusual thing to say yes to at the time, that experience will stick with you forever. You are a good dude, Sam. Enjoy the rest of your adventure.