As I am writing this blog, I am overcome with emotions. I wish I could share everything I have learned thus far in a profound and inquisitive way. However, I am settling for small moments of good. So, with snot running down my face, and tears in my eyes, join me in the small snippets from our time here:
Moment #1:
Although Jeff (aka lil Doddy/Jeffie/Jefe/Mama Jeff as I like to call him), sometimes has a tough exterior, I have found a few moments of beautiful cracks. These cracks serve as reminders that no matter how seemingly unrelatable or distant someone may appear, we are all human deep down. While I do not have time to go into ALL of the ways I have seen him as simply a human, I really enjoyed making dinner with him last night. We bonded over similar music tastes, moments of silence, our INCREDIBLE singing skills, and the mashing of tomatoes by hand. Although lil Doddy is an authority figure whom I deeply respect, he is also just a human. It is a good reminder that no matter how elevated or low we might perceive someone to be, deep down everyone is just a human doing their best. An amazing lesson to be thinking about while interacting with the people of Zambezi.
Moment #2:
After returning from the market today. I found a relatively quiet place to read our assignment, “Who is a Servant Leader” by Robert K. Greenleaf. As I lay on the ground and watched the ants crawl up small blades of grass, I was reminded of the Outdoor Leadership class I took with Dave Gilbert, more specifically, the exercise he had us do on our backpacking trip. We lay on the wet moss and imagined we were an ant, a mite, and then a bear. It symbolized how the challenges we all face may vary in size on a measurable scale, but rarely vary in effort put in. Everyone has their challenges where they are ants, and the ones where they are bears. These last few mornings have been hard for me, and honestly so has the last many months. Despite seemingly everything going well and harnessing my ability to not sweat the small stuff, I still have this underlying and looming feeling that something bad is going to happen, that I am not doing enough, and that I am going to let everyone down. These thoughts make simply getting out of bed feel like I am an ant trying to make it to the top of a redwood tree.
Moment #3:
Earlier today, two plumbers had been in our bathroom, tasked with replacing the cistern above our toilet bowl. Meanwhile, we sat around the dinner table as Sarah read aloud her blog and the comments. We heard a BANG. the priest rushed in, the plumbers left, and we suspiciously continued with our readings. After all the blog was read, Jeff burst out in laughter, informing the people in rooms #1 and #2, that we may no longer use our Jack-and-Jill style bathroom for #1 nor #2. Carly, Kathleen, Becca, Cate, Sean, and I ogled at the modern art project that had become of our bathroom: somehow, the plumbers had shattered the toilet bowl into dozens of pieces and very suspect water spread across the bathroom floor. We could only laugh. The priest had mopped up the water that leaked and Jeff pleaded with the plumbers to come back tomorrow. We desperately hope they do.
Moment #4:
This final moment happened about 2 hours ago now. Mama and Dad Doty, you should be so incredibly proud of your Loosh. Instead of writing this blog, I have been sitting on the outside patio of the convent crying over how I felt like everything I was writing was stupid, I had no direction for the blog, and then the bigger feelings of defeat and not being good enough took over. I had finally calmed myself down, but not gotten rid of the feelings when Loosh gently and kindly came up and asked me how I was doing. I immediately burst into tears again. Without saying a word, she placed her hand on my back and rubbed with a comforting sentiment of accompaniment. In that moment, she was not there to advise, help, or even to listen. She was just there with me. As we moved on from the nonverbal segment of our interaction, she went on the listen, empathize, and affirm saying, “Let it just be a moment. Let your writing just be okay.” So, although I wish I could share every last detail with you, here are just a few of the moments in which I have found meaning.
Harlow, happy late birthday. I love and miss you and your brother so so so much. I hope you had an amazing unicorn birthday party.
Dad, thank you for continuing to comment. I look forward to hearing your support and wisdom every morning. I love you so much. Although, sometimes it shows up blank, so maybe ask a young person to help you out :/
Kee, you should be so proud of your girls. You have raised such incredible women through leading by example.
Brytn, Addie, and Brai, I have been thinking a lot about you here. I feel incredibly guilty that I am missing all of your graduations, but I am so proud of each of you.
Heather, I am still making it through your book, but I think it came into my life at a perfect time. I am still learning from your wisdom of how to embrace good. (EVERYONE go buy Good is Amazing by Heather Campbell.)
Future 1103 roomies, living in this collective lifestyle has made me so excited for our future adventures in that big ol’ house. I hope you are all doing well.
Whoever asked if Sarah really killed a chicken, yes yes she did. And it was delicious.
Piper Krill
Class of ‘27
This was a lovely blog post to read – although I know no one on this trip besides my fantastic friend Ellie it has been incredible keeping up with each individuals perspectives, rest assured this blog was full of profound and intrinsic perspectives! The plumber story made me laugh and I hope you have all sorted that out. Ellie miss you loads and hope you’re having the best time ever! Go zags!
Thank you, Piper, for your more than “just OK” post. You captured some very real, touching and humorous moments and continue to give us all glimpses into your collective world. We are all hungry for that!
I will, in fact, take a lesson from you…. I wanted to post yesterday, but couldn’t take the time to make it “just right” –so I didn’t post at all. Today, at the end of my work day, with plenty more paperwork to take home to do, I thought I would just check to see if there was a new post. I don’t want to miss commenting again, so just taking a quick moment to let you all (esp Sean and Piper) know that I am keeping up and staying informed and up to date. Love hearing all the stories and seeing the pictures. Nothing super profound to say — just giving it this moment.
Sean, miss “connecting” with you daily. Leah saved me once last week with a hint and last night Linds woke me up (I had dozed in the office – again!) at 11:54 — Have an 80 day streak still intact! Love you!
Hi Sarah,
I just read your posting. I always knew you were a smart and sweet kid. Now I’m getting to see the grownup granddaughter who wants to change the world. In ways known and unknown you are leaving a mark. People you meet today will remember you and take away the memories of an incredible young lady you have become. You have a big heart, a beautiful soul, and a great laugh.
Love
Grammy
Beautifully written!! You are all authors in the making, I swear! I’m going to guess Katy did not raise her hand first to pluck the chicken hahaha! And holy cow about your plumbing something tells me restrooms are a bit hard to come by so hang in there ❤️ About this blog, times of self doubt will almost always be there but wow this will launch your confidence in ways that will surface for years to come! Katy we love and miss you!! Heck I even miss froggy too!!! All is well over here lots of sun, boat going in soon. Oh and going to purchase a couple of chickens can’t wait to see your handiwork 😉
Your small snippets made a BIG impact! So grateful for your post, Piper. All of these posts have been so touching and impactful. I just reread them all in order and it feels like there is a shift, and that I too get to experience a small part of seeing the world through the lens of Zambia. Thank you for the moments. Praying for you all.
Special hello to Cate! Sending you love from me & all the Selchos xo
PS: Yes, your name tag is big enough.
PPS: Just a heads up, your security password may have been in a data breach (see pic #1)
Piper, your words are full of heart—thank you for sharing them. I completely relate to what you said about struggling to find the right words and sometimes settling for silence. That in itself is such a powerful reflection of the vulnerability and authenticity we’ve seen throughout these blog posts.
One thing that stands out to me across all of the blog entries is the deep commitment to reflection, empathy, and purpose. Whether it’s through moments of connection, quiet leadership, or simply showing up for others, these stories highlight what it means to lead with intention and heart.
To everyone who’s shared—thank you for your courage, your voice, and your vulnerability. These glimpses into your journeys are inspiring.
Caroline M – sending love and hugs to you! ❤️
Yesterday you’re killing chickens and today you’re exploding toilets? This is escalating quickly, Piper. 😉 Thank you for writing from such a vulnerable space — snotty and teary, without editing out those “not-good-enough” feels that tend to try to mess with us. It’s an honor, really, to be on the other side of you sharing in this way.
Besides the gift of her presence, Lucia gave you such a gift with “Let your writing just be okay.” Permission to be human in however you could show up in the moment, but more importantly … showing up transparent and authentic and honest. I’ll take transparent and authentic and honest over a perfectly crafted post any day. You and your words were real, Piper. Beautiful, really. Thank you for your candor and letting us in.
It has blown me away — the way you (and your fellow ZamFam writers here) have shared your vulnerabilities, describing many of the ways our critical thoughts get in the way of our hearts and connection. I hope you all always have access to this blog to remind you of this transformative, rich, brave, deep experience in your shared lives and the lessons you’re learning about courage, yourselves, and others. I also hope the financial and logistical stressors of the spontaneously-combusted-toilet won’t cause too much hardship for the good people of your convent and community (including you all).
Lastly (and so selfishly) thank you for including a picture of Mia, Cate & Katy in class with Daizy and Martha. I opened the blog and gasped, “Mia!!!!!!!!! There you are!!!!!!!!!! Hi Boooooo!!!” out loud to no one in particular. A glimpse of Mia was a HUGE gift to this mom. The update that the Computer & Leadership Course is going well? ANOTHER gift. Thank you, Piper. Your “just okay” post may seem “just okay” to you … but know it is a real gift to those reading it. Bless you for sharing it all.
6:46 PM in Oakland. 3:46 AM in Zambezi.
1-2-3, Mia.
Sweet dreams, ALL of you.
xoxo,
Elisa (Mia’s Mama)
Love, love, love your post Piper… Moments… A gentle reminder of what matters, is really important and how we are really all the same. Moments are what we all reflect cherish and remember. Just one of I am sure many examples of the beauty of slow slowing down, putting people, feelings and experiences first.
Thank you for sharing. What a wonderful rich and loving experience. Selfishly I also love seeing the picture of my stepdaughter Mia.
So admire and i’m excited for all that you are getting to do, contribute, and experience.. #GoesZagsMuchLoveToAllOfYou
Piper thank you for sharing these extremely meaningful moments. It has been amazing to follow along everyone’s journey and hear about the complexities and excitement of Zambezi. Moment 4 also rings quite close to home with countless times Loosh has accompanied since I’ve known her.
Glad to hear you all are getting to know Jeff, just don’t leave him alone in the truck as you all sit in the truck bed, or else you’ll never recover.
Piper – I want to reach out and give you a hug! Your words were beautiful and perfect – thank you. “Small moments of good” is a great perspective that I’ll be thinking about for days. I hope the toilet issue gets fixed and I can’t wait to hear more about everyone’s chicken execution skills.
Kathleen – miss you dearly, lowest tide of the year today, so I played hooky from part of my workday – finally saw a small octopus, yes I immediately shared the picture with Alena. Trixie is fully recovered and going 110 miles an hour – like usual. 15 pounder still wanders the halls at night singing the song of his people – looking for you.
Zags in Zambia – keep up the great posts and keep planting those seeds.
Heather – Kathleen’s mom
45/40, double 15,16….I love and miss you!!
Piper! I loved reading the blog today. There is such beauty in these small moments. Thank you for sharing them with us and reminding us to pay attention to the small moments of good around us.
Taylor- missing you tons. A quick Steven update. It’s hot here and he is spending all of his time in the water which means he has that summertime “special” smell. Hopefully, we’ll get it cleared up in time for him to greet you, but no promises.
Thanks everyone for the updates. Reading them is the highlight of my day!!
Hi Piper,
I so deeply feel what your blog so beautifully said. Zambezi has an amazing gift of bringing you moments of good, that you can see and feel so clearly in the silence. Even with all the profound ideas and emotions… those (whether big or small) moments were always there to keep me full of gratitude and pure joy. I could list so so many from my time in Zambia. Thank you for sharing… as for the toliet I can just picture it happening lol. I also hope the plumbers come back tomorrow!
Brynn
Zamfam ‘24
Piper it was really nice to be with you on your struggle to write an amazing post. Not only was your message about seeing the human in everyone you let your human shine in your struggle.
Sean, I know you are taking in all these experiences can’t wait to here all your stories. Miss you but so excited for your adventures.
Thank you, Piper, for sharing these small moments that give us all a big window into your experience! Cate, so happy to see your smiling face! Continuing prayers for you all!!
Hi Piper!
Thanks for sharing your stories with us. The little tidbits are the perfect fix to catch a glimpse of thoughts, interactions, vulnerabilities etc. You are all strong and beautiful
and evolving each day.
Can’t wait to hear more… it’s the highlight at the end of the day. Sending love and hugs and a little “what doing?” to Ellie. Xoxoxo
Coco
Thank you Piper for the fun and engaging narrative in your post, I really enjoyed it!
I was actually reading it with some of my friends here in Milan (they all say hi), and it made me realize how much I miss you !!
I also love coming back to this page and reading about all your adventures, you guys write so vividly and compassionately that I feel like I’m right there with you. I’m a really big fan of this blog, I truly appreciate how you keep us all updated.
I can’t wait to hear from Ellie’s perspective and also more about the safari and the people you met along the way. Did u do the bungee jumping???
Love you & miss you so much Ellie,
Ti voglio tanto beneeee,
Sofi :)))
Piper! Thanks for your post, I shouted with glee this morning and soooo happy to read your words and hear your “voice” as the first thing of my day with my coffee and with Mr. Lander licking my leg.
Knowing how much you love writing…NOT….and the pressure to be profound and insightful…UGHH…and then put it out there with vulnerability….NO THANKS. But, as always when it’s game time you nailed it. Shed any guilt of missing birthdays and graduations and anything else. Those are moments, big moments, and everyone understands and is thrilled that you get to have this experience…those are your big moments. And as you share, big moments can come in small, everyday packages.
Your COURAGE amazes me. Your courage to pursue this trip, and work to pay for much of it yourself. Your courage to reveal your emotions including doubt and guilt and sorrow and probably lots that you can’t even name or describe. BTW how is feeling #47 doing???
It sounds like you are learning And experiencingsuch an important and profound lesson and perspective that will serve you for the rest of your life and your work and your future. Embedded in the concept and tradition of servant leadership is the idea that courage comes more from behind the scenes and taking the role of being a servant and a supporter and showing empathy More than it comes from the huge accomplishments or the front page stories or the power and recognition that is often associated with leadership. I love your reference to the ant and the bear, and I’ve shared with you that “scale” is something I think about a lot. The courage to write this post, the courage it takes to face a day when you may be feeling depressed or overwhelmed or defeated by life and the state of the world while small on some scales, is much bigger than the courage of a beautiful and elegant public address or talking point or resolution wrapped up with a pretty little bow. The courage to sit in silence with others, the courage to know and explore yourself. The courage to give up your self to that which is infinitely greater than the self. The courage to be in the moment without thinking about any past or future implications, or projections, or judgements. The courage of acceptance. The courage to be empathetic while maintaining the courage to take care of yourself as well. This is the courage that matters…as it is this courage that drives hope and faith in the midst of more questions than answers.
I’m so proud of you, and your inner strength continues to shine. And know that many see that in you and you are an inspiration. In all the amazing MOMENTS you are experiencing there, the big ones and the small ones, in all that are yet to come, your courage and your strength will carry you through. But you more than most will have to find that from within and be kind to yourself, because anything else will feel like bullshit! So continue to find your strength and your courage, not for anyone or anything or to prove anything…because those that really see you (and even if they don’t) are amazed and inspired (if not at times a bit destroyed) by your zero tolerance for BS. Let your moments be enough…they are your moments, and the ones you share with others are powerful whether you speak the same language, or they understand you, or you are crying, laughing, singing or dancing…live in the moment knowing there are many more to come. I love you!
In the words of Townes Van Zandt:
To Live is to Fly
Won’t say I love you, babe,
Won’t say I need you, babe,
But I’m gonna get you babe
And I will not do you wrong.
Living’s mostly wasting time
And I’ll waste my share of mine
But it never feels to good,
So let’s don’t take to long.
You’re soft as glass
And I’m a gentle man
We got the sky to talk about
And the earth to lie upon.
Days, up and down they come
Like rain on a congadrum
Forget most, remember some
But don’t turn none away.
Everything is not enough
And nothin’ is to much to bear.
Where you been is good and gone
All you keep is the getting there.
To live is to fly
Low and high,
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eyes.
Goodbye to all my friends
It’s time to go again
Think of all the poetry
And the pickin’ down the line
I’ll miss the system here
The bottom’s low
And the treble’s clear
But it don’t pay to think to much
On things you leave behind.
I will be gone
But it won’t be long
I will be a’bringin’ back the melodies
And rhythm that I find.
We all got holes to fill
Them holes are all that’s real.
Some fall on you like a storm,
Sometimes you dig your own.
The choice is yours to make,
Time is yours to take
Some sail upondive into the sea,
Some toil upon the stone.
To live is to fly
Low and high,
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eyes
Shake the dust off of your wings
And the tears out of your eyes.
Yes to Dodd (he’s really just full of love inside), exploding toilets, reflecting outside, Lucia, and being enough. I’m missing these Zambezi moments and love knowing you’re having the courage to take them all in. Keep telling stories, Piper.
Thank you for sharing these moments with us! It is incredibly hard not being able to pick up the phone to talk to our Caroline or to FaceTime whenever we want. The details of these blogs lets us imagine being there with all of you so thank you thank you thank you.
BTW my blank posts were emojis…”dad emojis” that I guess don’t post…maybe that’s telling me something?!
Lol
Also love the picture of you (and the toilet) and so happy to see your beautiful face and presence…miss you! That picture could be used to tell many funny stories!!!!
Piper! Beautiful words, I’m so incredibly proud of you, this journey you are on will be remembered for a lifetime. Beautifully written, I was glad to read your words this morning:)
Harlow had a great birthday, we can’t wait to see you in June.
We love you!!!!
-Hannah, Hank, Harlow, Huck
Can I echo Brians beautiful remarks. So,well said for me too. Love you Piper and missed you this weekend
Piper!! I miss you so much, it felt so weird to be with the family without you but we felt your presence with us always! I can’t wait to see you in June, give you a giant hug, and hear all about your adventures. I’m so so proud of you and your amazing endeavors, it inspires me everyday! You are so strong and feel so deeply as do I, just remember your sensitivity is your superpower and gives you the strength to change the world. Although I know you feel like your missing out on graduation celebrations, don’t feel guilty. We all love you so much and love to see you learning and experiencing so many new things on your trip! Your writing is raw and it’s real which makes it beautiful. The picture of the demolished toilet is so funny too I’m looking forward to keeping up to date with the rest of your adventures! Love you -Brai
Pipee Dipes!! Where do I begin? Reading your raw, honest and achingly beautiful post reminded me of trying to write my first blog post from Kenya: how do you fully capture a lifetime of memories and feelings in a few paragraphs, in a handful of moments? You can’t, you won’t, but as someone wisely said to me when I was there—no one will ever fully understand your experiences in Africa when you attempt to communicate them; therefore you must try… 🙂
So my reply to your post will also be about moments—
#1, how I saw my ‘Gonzaga Mom’ decal on my car today and although a lot of the time I feel like an imposter for displaying it, I’ve never been so proud, so honored, so humbled to be your KK. You make my life bigger and better by being in it.
#2, one of the world’s greatest writers and minds passed away yesterday, Ngugi wa Thiong’o. Without my time in Kenya, I would have never seen and heard his monumental words come to life, and learn from him that the bones beneath your skin are so much closer to the surface there—making the joys much more uninhibited and pain much harder to prevent;
#3, that when your cousins and sis were putting stickers on their water bottles this past weekend to represent all the places they had traveled thus far and experiences, good and bad, they have had on this wild life, this one resonated from me to you—‘it doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.’
#4, and finally, as I gave tribute to my mom a couple of years ago for always being here for me, I send that message across oceans and continents to you—Niko hapa. I am here. Forever and always. You are the one and only amazing, astute, passionate and powerful Pipee Doo!!
Majaliwa.
Piper, thank you so much for your special snippets and for giving us a window into your world in Zambezi. It must be amazing and challenging and I’m so impressed by your willingness to try new things and share on this blog. It means a lot to us to get a glimpse into life there in your village and to see through your eyes what our Natalie must also be experiencing with you.
I miss you so much, Natalie! Sending you a big hug and snuggles from Hazel and Griffin:-)
Piper – Thanks for sharing your raw and genuine post. All valid and, just like your observations about Jeff, you too are human and are a complicated mix of emotions and attributes. It’s all GOOD…seriously…just be your authentic self! At the end of the day though, be the “bear” and not the “ant”. Sounds like you might even be able to finally answer the age old question…”does a bear s**t in the woods?” since you might have to go without the use of your toilet. Let us know the answer since we’ve all been wondering!
You know what’s kind of interesting from my perspective? Maybe all of you are experiencing some more soul searching and grappling with your inner selves a little more since you aren’t “doom scrolling” on your phones for hours each day. This forces us to all take a look inward since we don’t have any cat videos to watch (or Panda videos for some of you). That’s got to be a good thing right? We don’t need to be in Africa to do that. Just sayin’!
Wazzup to my girl Nat! Peace out!
I love that saying. Let it be a moment. What a beautiful way to not avoid but embrace the challenges of the moment. I also wanted to say that despite the plethora of tears that were shed in the drafting of this blog post, I really enjoyed your cater and tone throughout the piece. In the moment with Loosh, you so eloquently put forth the moment in its simple and profound form. Thank you for sharing these stories and the honesty that you portrayed your internal experience with. I love to hear the peaks and valleys of it all.
Sending hugs and love to you Ellie. Miss you so much, not cool.
Piper !! What an amazing , raw , articulate and beautiful post ! Thank you for sharing your adventures with us ! Self doubt can indeed be a powerful motivator for growth and resilience . You all got this !
What an adventure for all you! This experience is one in a lifetime .
Please give Katy a big hug from Murph and tell her how proud I am of her ! No judgement here on the chicken !
The “moments” were perfect! Thank you for taking the time to write about them and give us insight into your days – with without a toilet – eek!!! I have missed hearing about your time there these last few days and love getting a glimpse in! Moments in life are everything! Great job!
Miss you, Caroline-y! You would have been proud seeing Lily walk across the stage in the dress that you helped her pick out – the dress that took us many months to pick out, in fact! Dad said her 8th grade graduation was longer than his law school one! Ha! It was super fun, memorable – but long! Your grandfather could not sit still, and was pacing around back the latter half of graduation:) Love you so much and while so happy you are there, hopefully having the trip of a lifetime….I think perhaps we will restrict you in the future to places where we can hear your voice periodically! I am half joking. Half! Love you!
Thank you, Piper! And all who have posted so far. I’m Ellie’s Auntie in Spokane and catching up on the blog now. I’m so impressed by all of the posts. What an intelligent and impressive group! These Moments, the scavenger hunt, navigating new roads while out of your comfort zones, and so many more … what forever experiences these are! So proud of you all! And to my Elle- missing you so much but it’s balanced by knowing what incredible, life experiences you are having with people you will be connected to for years. oxoxox Auntie Brent