Why are you going to Africa?
This was a question I was frequently asked when telling friends and family about my plans to come to Zambezi with the Gonzaga group; and the truth is I still think about this question every day. Before coming, I generally answered this question by saying that I would be teaching computer classes. This statement is true, but is it really the reason I am here? I frequently find myself frustrated because I don’t fully understand Zambezi, and from not understanding Zambezi I feel like I cannot effectively function in the community. The people here are beautiful—determined, welcoming, and strong—but it is difficult for me to know whether the relationships I am building are based on genuine affection or not. Much of the time I feel like the rich “chindele” who has come to provide something. I know that is not my intention, but it is often how I think people view me, and us as a collective group. I have encountered this problem especially with the children. I know so many of them are just eager to be loved, but I can’t help the feeling of thinking these children may just be playing with my emotions. I begin to grow close to certain children only to find out that they really just want to use the bicycles we possess or have a chance to listen to music on our computers. Is it their fault that they have never ridden a bicycle or used a computer? Of course not, but it nonetheless makes me feel like an ignorant outsider.
I was recently told by one of our computer students that it is important to leave a legacy wherever you are. He was specifically referring to the computer program and how he feels it must become more sustainable. The computer group was very upset when we arrived in Zambezi to find no computer lab, but instead discovered dusty computers that had rarely been used since last summer’s group was in Zambezi. We immediately knew that this was a major problem; how can our program lead to sustainability for Zambezi when our students don’t even have access to computers when we are gone. It is imperative that a lab remains open when we leave Zambia; this has become our main goal since seeing the lab on the first day here. While we have identified one issue that needs our attention, I find myself struggling to identify problems that the people of Zambezi are concerned about. During the months leading up to our departure for Zambia we focused a great deal on the idea of accompaniment. Accompaniment is seen as operating at eye-level with others and truly striving to understand cultures other than our own. I am a firm believer that it is impossible to serve in a community like Zambezi without first becoming familiar with the region’s customs, values, and religions. Ultimately, I am left with the realization that we will never truly accompany the Zambian people. This may seem like a pessimistic view, but that is not how I intend it. We are simply not in Zambezi long enough to become part of the community. We live a sheltered existence where we are exposed to small realities of life in Africa, but are then able to return to our safe haven at the convent. However, this does not take away from our presence in Zambezi.
We are constantly reminded that our presence in Zambezi leaves a strong impact on the community. That is the thing that is so incredible about these people—just us being here is enough. Some may want things from us, but the thing that I am quickly realizing is that we all just want to be loved. One moment of my journey that I will never forget took place several days ago when returning to the convent after witnessing another beautiful Zambian sunset. I was walking alone when I bumped into a man heading the opposite direction of me. We shook hands and then he reversed his direction and began walking with me while at the same time wrapping his arm around my shoulder. Granted, this was a man I had never met in my life. He explained that he was from Lusaka and had come to work on a water purification problem Zambezi was facing. I thanked him for his warm welcome and expressed my appreciation for the welcome we had received all throughout Zambia from the moment we left the airport. He suddenly stopped, looked me in the eyes and said, “We are the same, you and me. Why would I not welcome you?” I will never forget this interaction.
I would like to leave you with a welcome speech that the health group received upon a visit to a home based care group in Chingalala. These words were written by Madame Ellah Machayi who failed to deliver the speech herself due to vision impairment resulting from the HIV medication she is currently taking. I hope you all are moved as we were.
Ufuku mwane,
John Farley, Class of 2014
P.S. Happy belated birthday Syd the Kid, I love you.
Chingalala Support Group Welcome Speech
Written by Madame Ellah Machayi for the Gonzaga Health Education group visit
May 23, 2012
The team leader Natalie, our visitors from the United States of America, the coordinator of NZP+, all widows, orphans, widowers and terminally ill –
May I say all protocol observed.
We are all very happy to have you in our midst. You’ve travelled thousands of kilometers across oceans and seas risking your lives to be with us.
You have demonstrated a great passion for the people of Zambia and Zambezi especially us that are vulnerable. Our vulnerability usually isolates us from the “have-it-all”.
Your presence only has given us great hope that you have unknowingly put a smile on our faces and given mercy and great joy to our hearts.
At this I would like to say “Welcome to Zambia and its friendly and generous people”
We understand the economic hardships that are going by through out the world, the economic recessions in America, UK, Germany, etc.
This however will not be a stumbling block for any form of assistance that you may need to render to us.
We don’t want to remain depressed in our various situations. We need to start to stand up and realize our own potentials. We only need that type of assistance which can sustain our lives not a loaf of bread and butter but something we can love on with hope for years and generations to come.
Madam Natalie in our midst are orphaned children, widows, widowers, those living with HIV aids. This is not the end of the world, we still, if given a chance, opportunity, or platform can become very independent, well meaning and dependable citizens contributing to out national development.
We are in our state but our potentials speak volumes. Any form of assistance that will be rendered to us, we shall call it a blessing indeed and may the good lord give you the warmest hears of all.
God bless you all. Thank you.
john, how beautifully written! so raw and real. wow
and thank you for sharing Madame Ellah Machayi’s speech. truly inspirational and inspiring..really reminds me of ‘why i am going to africa’.. not to ‘fix’ anything, but to help the people realize and reach their full potential.
love and blessings,
kate
ps.- KATIE how fun to see you!! miss youu xo
sending love to the whole group! keep the pictures coming 🙂
John,
What a powerful and honest blog. Thank you. I wouldn’t worry about the “why” you are in Africa as much as the commendable action that you “are” in Africa. I am so impressed that all of you were willing to travel so far to make a difference in the world. It may be years before the “why” becomes apparent. We don’t always understand the reasons until much later in life. The same goes for making an impression on others lives, sometimes we never know the impact we have made – but know that you are making an impact – it just might be in a different way than you expected.
Take care and know that we here at home are so very proud of each of you.
Love the stories and pictures!
Kellie’s Mom, Debbie
Greetings Zambezi Group 2012. It is good to hear about your experience so far and to especially read this post. A couple of things stood out to me.
The first was the discussion of accompaniment and what it means to truly accompany. I can honestly say some of the students (including myself) in our 2009 group asked some of the same questions you did, and wrestled with whether we were accompanying or not. Many of us still return back to this question in the work we are doing in our lives now. I would say that after much reflection on the concept, I think that accompaniment is about walking with people, and as you said, that notion of operating at eye level. But it is also about being vulnerable, about sharing our humanity with one another, our joys, our blessings, and our struggles. As Ausland says in the article, when he stayed for tea and began vulnerable, that is when he really began to accompany.
This brings me to my second thought, which is in your discussion of the man you met on the road, walking with you and welcoming you. Additionally, you shared a welcome speech, in which Madame Machayi shared vulnerably as well about life in Zambezi. In allowing ourselves to think through our own insecurities with one another, to think about what it means to be “vulnerable” as she says, and to share that with one another, I think we are one step closer to accompaniment.
Keep wrestling with this concept – I believe there is a lifetime of struggle and joy when we hold this concept intentionally and practice it in our work in Zambezi and back home.
Many blessings and prayers,
Lucas Sharma
Zambezi 2009
Wow, John, I love the honesty in your reflection and how much you are learning… thank you for sharing this!
John,
Your blog stirred up some of the exact emotions and frustrations I had as I worked in the computer group last summer. It pained me to leave knowing that the computers would sit in that closet untouched for a year. I hope that you and Aubrey and Katie can implement a plan to help them be accessible year round. This question of “Why are you going to Africa” is one that will stay with you even when you return home. It is a question I still ask myself about my experience a year ago. My encouragement to you and to the whole group is to be intentional about the relationships you are forming. People will greet you and make small talk all the time, but take the time to be that person to others. It’s hard to know where these relationships will led, as the end of your journey will come sooner than you are prepared for. But know that each person you meet and each walk you take is for a reason. Be intentional and always show love.
Aubrey, I love you so much! I know the computer group, like all the projects has its frustrations both on a small and large scale. Allow yourself to feel these frustrations and sort through them with your group. I am confident that you are touching the lives of so many Zambians and the members of your group. Miss you and thinking of you always!
Kisu Mwane,
Katie
Jonathan and John ~
I have been in deep thought after reading both of your posts! I have become a gonzagainzambezi.org stalker and have worn out the refresh button waiting for posts. Lauren may be rolling her eyes at all my replies and yet she knows I am me and I love to know what she and her friends are experiencing and how they are learning growing and embracing life. So I will confess to my obsession and she will know it is all out of love and admiration for each of you! Both of you young men have set my mind in motion about reality, sustainability and simplicity. I cannot stop telling my co-workers friends and basically anyone that will listen about your insightful posts and my reactions to each one. John, you’ve made me reflect on the work I do personally each day and my question is always one of sustainability and how we “change” the lives of the vulnerable and poor…it is a huge question and I have been reminded this week in my own work and through your words that it really all boils down to the “value” we add to a persons life. For me it is always the question of what value does what I am trying to do add to one child’s life even when we are working to touch 10o’s of lives. This morning my yogi tea bag (insert a laugh here Lauren.. my Mom and her tea bags:) said: “Real happiness lies in that which never comes nor goes, but simply is”. Seemed appropriate for my thoughts about Jonathan and John’s posts.
Thank you everyday over and over again for sharing your experience with us! I have responded on every type of electronic device as I am travelling around the state so forgive my typos and ramblings and know that I get so wrapped up in the depth of your insight that my fingers & thumbs fly across the variety of keyboards with recklass abandoment! Katie you look fantastic, so nice to see your beautiful smiling face today when I woke up.
Love to all,
Lauren’s Mom Again 🙂 xoxoxo
That would be “reckless abandonment”…hence my apology for typos
Kim
JM,
You’re right, in such a limited amount of time you might know of the people of Zambezi, but you will not know why they laugh, cry or sing. If you seek the opportunity and open yourself up to laugh and sign with them….therein lies the chance to experience accompaniment.
I am proud of you and your classmates for stepping into the void.
Love and miss you. Dad
This is Joe from the Zambia group of 2009 a.k.a. Lucas’ roommate 🙂
First off John, great post! I really enjoyed reading it. Also, I second Lucas’ comment about vulnerability being the key to accompaniment.
Maybe you will visit Zambia just this once in your lifetime. Maybe you will return after your Gonzaga study abroad experience is done (it happens more often than you think). Either way, regardless of what your future dreams may say about returning to Africa; another way to look at accompaniment is that perhaps you are in Zambezi to accompany the other members in your group just as much, if not more, than the members of the Zambezi community.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. And John keep doing what you are doing because “We are the same, you and me. Why would I not welcome you?” 🙂
John,
I’ve been following the blog everyday, waiting for your post. I can imagine the struggle of knowing that your time is limited in Zambia, especially when it seems like so much needs to be done. However, continue to take the time to realize that your presence in Zambia, no matter how short it may be, makes a difference to the people living there. Even though you may not accomplish all you have set out to do, you and your group have initiated change to further progress opportunities for the people- opportunities and memories I’m sure they’re grateful for and will never forget. Take time to learn from them and their culture and enjoy all it has to offer. Listen to what the man told you on your walk. Even though you may come from completely different parts of the world, each individual in your group and Zambia possess a unique presence and gift, paving way for an opportunity to grow and learn from one another. It seems like you are really learning a lot and reflecting on all your experiences, I look forward to hearing all about it!
I love you and miss you so much!
Hailly
Correction “Zambezi”– Sorry!
What a wonderful post! I know I do not know you personally, but I can definitely connect with the way you are feeling about why you are there when I was there last summer. Each day in Zambezi is a gift and a journey. Embrace every part of it because it will stay with and will become a big part of your life!
Aubrey! I hope you are having a wonderful time!!! Can’t wait to hear stories when you return. 🙂
Carly Grether (Zambezi summer 2011)