Owen, Constanza, Brittany, Lauren
During the several days that led up to the departure for this trip, I found myself constantly packing and unpacking my dark blue pack; folding and unfolding clothes, moving toiletries from sandwich-sized Ziploc bags to quart-size, and back to sandwich-size. I checked each container holding any form of liquid multiple times to make sure I hadn’t overlooked one that happened to be over three ounces; moved shoes to the bottom and snacks to the top, only to convince myself a few seconds after that maybe medicines should be on the top layer instead. And finally the day came when we set out to the other side of the world, everything nicely packed.
I realize we have one week left still, but I can’t help but think the packing challenge will become much more difficult when we depart from Zambezi for our return back home. I will want to take with me so much more than what my bag can hold. The joy, shouts, and smiles of the children who run towards us every time we step out of a car cannot be contained in any size Ziploc bag. There will be no side pocket that can fit the every-day handshakes with complete strangers. And Mama Kawatu’s warm smile would very much exceed the twenty pounds weight limit. All those things will remain in Zambezi, and I will be left with the beautiful, but abstract, memories that have formed during our time here. Yet I would find that to be somewhat unsatisfying, for we have seen and felt so much during our time here that it would be both unfair and wasteful to simply shelve those memories in the back, front, or side of our minds. Which is why I am coming to understand that the way in which we let this experience unfold when we return will be just as significant as the experience itself.
A couple of days ago, we asked our Leadership and Business class students if they believed we as human beings had duties and responsibilities not only towards ourselves, but also towards others. John, a tall, strong, composed, elder man who has recently retired from working with the Zambezi education system for over thirty years, slightly raised his hand and answered in a quiet and peaceful manner, “Yes, we all have a human responsibility to protect the vulnerable”. I left class with that in mind and have continuously been thinking about it.
Throughout our time here, we have been exposed to poverty levels (resulting from total lack of resources) which I had never witnessed before. It is this same poverty, however, which seems to strip away all layers of unnecessary troubles and worries, exposing, in return, the raw beauty of friendship, family, and community. Digging a little deeper it is simple to identify the core. The purest forms of emotions—sincere appreciation, heartbreaking sorrow, infinite love.
It was this exterior poverty which drew me to Zambia, as I recognized the vulnerability of the people that experience it and my duty to address it, in the best of my abilities. But it has become quite apparent to me throughout our weeks here, that I am just as vulnerable. Too little resources can be just as detrimental as too many. We seem to have formed a culture back at home which has set unnecessary levels of need for comfort and convenience. And this, in turn, has made us in many ways lose touch with ourselves. Being able to recognize this puts a new perspective in my mind. Vulnerability exists all around us and as part of our human duty for others, we must address it.
The true challenge for our group then will come in making the same passion which moved the fourteen of us across seas maintain its spark. And when it comes time to pack, we must make sure to fold tightly not just the memory, but also the intention. For continually applying it is the only thing that will make this experience everlasting.
Constanza Ponce de Leon, 2014
Football game vs. Chilena Basic School
PS. Pa, hay un arbol de bugambilia enorme justo afuera de la reja de donde nos estamos quedando. Pienso en ti y en tu manera de ver la vida tan optimista cada ves que lo paso. Ma, si vieras la cantidad de nin*os que nos rodean a todas horas. Hay un grupo de cuatro que me pidieron que les diera clases de matematicas e ingles antes de ir a la escuela… y me ruegan por tarea! Me encantaria que pudieras estar sentada conmigo en la banca donde les ensen*o todas las man*anas para que sintieras su entusiasmo por aprender. Dos quieren ser pilotos, uno maestro, y el otro dice que no sabe haha. Juani Banani! Como te extran*o. Porque no te saltas graduacion y te vienes al otro lado del mundo? Me acorde especialmente de ti el otro dia que un nino lloraba y lloraba y le pregunte porque y me dijo que porque habian mordido al hermano. Pero el hermano mordido no lloraba haha!! El amor de hermanos… If I don’t get to put another note before coming back, I wish you the best graduation ever! I’m so proud of you.
PSS. Group 2!! You’re in Zambia!!!!! I don’t know if you’ll read this now, but in case you do… we all send you warm hugs and wish you an adventure-filled safari experience!
Aub-rizzle-sizzle! Time is flying there! It’s crazy! I love the picture of the football game. Seeing your face brings me so much joy. I literally think of you every day and smile knowing you are in one of the most beautiful places in the world with the most heartfelt people. I hope you are singing your heart out and taking each step with a moment of appreciation. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kisu Foreves,
Katie
Constanza, this is such a lovely post! You have captured the essence of Zambezi so beautifully. Only a few months ago I remember talking to you about the poverty in Skid Row, how that destitution is immense because it is a place that is not lacking resources per se but love. Poverty and richness come in many forms, and I am glad that you have these experiences to show you what is truly important in life. I am so very proud of you and everyone in Group 1 for letting your hearts be vulnerable in order to see truth.
Kisu mwane,
Neshia
Wow, Constanza, this was an amazing post, and you are an amazing lady! Your thoughts are just beautiful, and also challenging. Just can’t say enough how much I love this post.
Btw- the soccer team picture… that is amazing and I think the CLP office needs a framed copy of that asap 🙂 Love to everyone!!
Querida Constanza, trasmites tanta emocion en cada una de tus lineas. Que experiencia tan mas increible!!. Gracias por compartir y hacernos imaginar las caras, las sonrisas y toda la energia de ese pueblo maravilloso que tanto de esta brindando…nosotros, tu familia, estamos TAAAAAAAAAAAN ORGULLOSOS DE TI…. de verte convertida en una mujer valiente, sensible y tan generosa. Te mandamos un abrazo enorme!!!!!!! Los Ponce de Leon Saldivar
What a wonderful beautifully written post. Every time I read this blog I feel like I am there in Zambezi again. This experience is meaningful in so many ways, and the poverty you see in Zambezi is only the beginning to many questions that will occur to you in the future. Don’t forget to challenge those questions, ask questions, and along the way embrace these thoughts and challenges. Zambezi is the most beautiful place you will visit in your life, not just because of the quiet mornings, but because of the beauty you see within in the people you meet.
Blake! Hope you are loving this experience. I remember when you were in my small group during freshmen retreat and we talked about Zambia and now you are there fully experiencing it!!! Can’t wait to hear all about it!
Kisu Mwane,
Carly G (summer 2011)
yoo constanzzaa! great to hear from you. i hope the leadership class is going well. im sure it is with you joe and lauren. by the way great post a few days ago lauren. LOVED IT! and joe i’m waiting for your blog in the coming weeks!
Constanza my favorite part about your blog was the idea of how poverty “seems to strip away all layers of unnecessary troubles and worries, exposing, in return, the raw beauty of friendship, family, and community.” That is by far the greatest truth that I continue to share with everyone when I talk about Zambia. It is so clear that the lack of material possessions in the lives of the Zambians and all those who live in “poverty” is so often replaced with an abundance of real love, community, and reliance on one another. I believe once one’s basic needs are met, the accumulation of extraneous material possessions just begins to further us from our connection to those around us, while living simply brings out the best in the human spirit. A quote that constantly reminds me of this truth comes from a great novel, Shantaram, and it proclaims, “I sometimes think that the size of our happiness is inversely proportional to the size of our house.” I think you guys may be able to understand where he is coming from.
Also, I just read an article about how facebook is weakening us both as individuals and as a society because our capacity for nurturing great relationships has been halted by the emergence of creating our identities online instead of doing so from within and through the intimate relationships we create. I’m sure it has been pretty nice for all of you not having to worry about updating your status or checking for notifications. That freedom from technology is pretty liberating.
Definitely still reading all of your guys’ blogs everyday, and hope everyone is staying healthy. Hikaru,don’t think I forgot about you!! Hope you are doing soo welll and can’t wait to read your blog when it arrives. Did you bring Monopoly Deal to Zambia so you could play everyday!? If not I will send a pack over to Zambia ASAP, but I don’t think it will make it there until next summer haha!
Peace and Love to All of You Wonderful People.
Kurt Guenther
Aye Mwane! Constanza this is a beautiful post and I completely agree that the packing for the journey home is much more difficult. Even though you cannot pack those random sincere handshakes or the “how are you” that the children always ask, those memories will be packed deep inside memories you will never forget. Goooo Zambia Gold!! Woo!
Constanza…I think you have all learned another life lesson. When you wrote, “that the way we let this experience unfold when we return will be just as significant as the experience itself”, is so true. All of you, at your young age, should keep this quote embedded in your brains. In life, how people react to experiences and circumstances, sometimes is at least as important as what occurred. This goes for not just your travels, but in simple everyday life. Love to you all…Nanette Walden
I loved your words Constanza. Sounds like you will come away with immeasurable gifts. Proud of you! Travel safely in your return. We miss you! Christi
Es increíble como vives esta experiencia. Cada vez que tengo noticias tuyas a través de tu mamá o tu abuela, se me pone la piel “de gallina”. Muchas felicidades por ser así.
Un besote.
Each day I look forward to reading about your adventure in Zambezi. When I see a new post, first I look to see who wrote it. Will today’s be from my Joe? Next I look at the pictures, thank you for sharing them. I feel like I am experiencing a part of your adventure. Today, the first thing I noticed was, Joe got a hair cut in Africa! I can wait to hear the story behind “Joes Hair Cut in Africa”. All of you are so fortunate to be living this adventure and I thank all of you for sharing it with us. As your adventure winds down enjoy every conversation, every hand shake and hug, leave a part of you in Zambezi and bring a part of Zambezi home with you in your heart.
Mi adorada Poogui,
Your dad EVERYDAY me asks if I know something new from you (???)… so finally this morning I was able to call him: “I have news from your girl!!! ”
You can not imagine how exited I was when I opened the blog and I your post was there, I tried to read it as slow as could ( I have to confess the tears were useful this time helping me to delay the reading!!) to savor every moment, you know how hard is for me every time I have to say goodbye to you, and today was not the exception……Once again the words coming from this blog made my day shine, words that allow us to be connected from opposite sides of the planet.
It was not a surprise to me that you talk about packing in your blog (ha!), I know that every time you travel you want to take EVERYTHING with you just in case you could need it ….but what I LOVED is how you connected it with your learning experience in Zambia, when put all pieces of the Zambezi puzzle together to share with us your transformation there…so humble, so touchable! You know that if I could I would be there right now, sitting with you and surrounded by those kids eager for knowledge and learning the values of life from every amazing person there…. but I can’t my girl, so I ask you to absorb every moment and experience there to live it through your words and to your eyes when you will be back home!
When I read by your recommendation the book form Fr G. Boyle I still remember the african quote he refers in the preface of his book “a person becomes a person through other person” and you all have the best lesson in Zambia… as he said in the book, Zambia will leave some beautiful tattoos in your heart forever, tattoos witch already transformed you in a better human being, tattoos witch will influence your future life in many different ways ….
PS..Remember always to listen to the wind very carefully, if you do it you’ll be able to hear me whisper: Te quiero siempre mi nin*a, y soy la mama mas orgullosa del planeta de tenerte como hija!!
P.S.S: Ya estamos empezando a tener todo listo para la graduacion, vienen los 3 abuelos y Maxito…que se equivoco de fecha al comprar los boletos asi que se regresa un dia antes del evento (!!) de la fiesta y del viaje a Mexico tambien ya hay grandes avances….solo faltas tu para el toque final!
Constanza!
I love how these post always give me a visual of some sort or another 🙂 This one certainly bring many, the one that stands out to me the most is walking by Lauren’s room seeing you doing exactly what you wrote about 🙂 You standing beside the bed moving bags from here to there sighing heavily and then the next time I walked by you were face down sound asleep…totally out from the exhaustion! I can only imagine now that you have fallen asleep in that same position with exhaustion of every emotion known to humans. I love how you have used “the backpack” in your post it has so much meaning behind it. I hope this reaches you before you all head out on Safari!!! Oh my gosh I hope the posts still come…what will I do first thing when I wake up in the morning….. I’ve really gone beyond stalker status, you may all be fearful of meeting me in London ha ha!! I can hardly wait to see all your smiling faces and hear the incredible stories and see amazing pictures! By now, you are all packed and I know you will pack all Constanza writes about for the rest of your lives!
Enjoy the rest of your adventure!
Love, Kim “The Stalkie” and Lauren’s Mama who loves her the most…it’s written in stone!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo
P. S. I LOVE the pictures! You all look so healthy happy and filled with life 🙂 muah !
P.S.S. Lauren just so you know I am recording your “show” so we can have an amazing amount of couch time when you get home 😉
Constanza,
Hearing about all the experiences this group is having always brightens my day. It is rather odd to think that it is almost June and you still are not home, but when the blog posts I remember that it is all worth it. I hear that the group is going on a safari (yay!), so I will make this post short in the hopes that you may be able to read it before you leave. I hope that you are able to pack everything you want, I await for you to come to Reno and unpack, in the same excited way we would wait for Dad to bring us presents when he visited England; except this time the gifts the Anglo-Saxon castle books and action figures will be replaced with timeless stories and life advice, a more worthy present indeed. I cannot wait for you to come home, I am always reminded of how you have always been the centering force of my life, guiding me when I start to leave astray, humbling me when I become too full of my foolishness, and telling me what paths are worth traveling from your (extensive) experience. I know all too well that if the only thing you give back to the community is this advice, they will have been lucky to have you there, but I know that you have and will give them so much more. They too will teach you many valuable and humbling lessons which will only help to strengthen your character, and that is what it is all about: connection. For when we connect with people and we understand why it is that they live the way they live and they understand why it is we live how we choose to, then the world is very slightly better off for it, for with connection and the understanding that comes of it we are able to eliminate prejudice and bias and slightly widen our narrow view of understanding. However, if we repeat this process enough then that very slight difference we made on others and others have made on us amplifies and if we are lucky someday that very slight change is able to touch the lives of others that we have never met and change the way they think through our actions. So keep meeting others, keep being who you are, keep packing all of those bags full of memories and always hold on to them, there is no baggage fee in our minds so never miss out on something because it disrupts the repertoire of memories you have. I am proud of you and hope to see you soon.
Queridísima Cons: ha sido maravilloso leer sobre tu increíble experiencia en estos blogs que mi hermana del alma (Gabo) ha compartido conmigo. Creo que ya te han dicho a cerca de las emociones que despiertan en los lectores, y lo bonito que escribes, y lo increíble de esta experiencia. Yo sabes que siento al leerlos… Una enorme esperanza en que gente como tu y todos estos chavos que están viviendo esto y aprendiendo todas estas cosas, a ser mas humanos, a ayudar, a ver por las necesidades de otros etc.. Van a ser los responsables de llevar el mundo el día de mañana…. Y me queda claro que lo harán mucho mejor que las generaciones que tienen el poder actualmente… Y ese será el mundo de ustedes, nuestros hijos y sobrinos adorados, y eso me da esperanza.
Gracias por compartir. Besos y abrazos desde chilangolandia
Carla
My dear Bu:
I loved your analogy and adding a little bit, I would say that life is a continuous journey, and as such we always carry a backpack. The good thing is that we have the right to pick the best of our experiences and carefully find the right place inside so we can use it later when needed. The beauty of our backpacks is that are everlasting, so we will carry them forever and moreover the magic is that they could hold as much as you want! just be careful not to load it with heavy stuff and no to clean it regularly so it will become a burden…..not a good thing knowing you still have a ton of things to do !. I loved as well your thought about memories and intentions, and I agree, we must unfold memories with intentions, so experiences will stay alive in our hearts! Or as Mom said better: tatooed in our hearts.
I hope you still have time to read this, as I know you are about to leave to different experiences……..I wish you the best, take care and remember: live, love, laugh and learn everywhere you go!.
Mi niña:
Estamos muy orgullosos de ti, eres mas que un ejemplo. Espero verte pronto para platicar, porfa toma muchas fotos para verlas con Mamá, Juanello y yo. Diles a todos tus amigos que quiero conocerles cuando vaya a Spokanton (Ja!)……..yo invito las cervezas y las alitas de pollo!
Te mando un besototototototote !!!
Chindele Papa Eric
CONSTANZA! I am so happy to see your post! What an absolutely life changing experience you are living right now. All of the months of preparation and work from the entire year probably could have never trained you for what you’ve been experiencing the past few weeks. Just like your Mom, I loved how you mentioned packing (our favorite topic) in your post. It is soo true how no matter what you brought, all the fighting with Mateo about each specific shirt, the contemplation over x amount or y amount of clif bars, and what order to put things in the bag, you will have a much harder time preparing to return back home, make sense of all your adventures, and continue learning after you leave Africa. Cherish every moment, every conversation, and every person you encounter because there is so much to learn from the Zambians.
I loved how you point out that the lack of resources makes some people vulnerable, however the excess of resources does the exact same. “Too little resources can be just as detrimental as too many.” Also, the “unnecessary levels of need for comfort and convenience” interested me because we have just finished a year of living in not only the smallest room, but with two people and their belongs, as well. As annoying as this got at times, there are so many more important things in life besides the simple convenient comforts. And now that you have been stripped of what you know as “comfortable” and “normal,” you are getting a prime opportunity to learn more about yourself and the true necessities of life. AHH it’s so exciting I could go on for days. I want to hear everything upon your arrival/when I come to Reno, as we discussed would definitely be happening!
By the way, I went to Target and found more plants to grow in little pots for sale! I’m now growing strawberry plants and daisy plants 🙂 I just potted them though, so they haven’t popped up yet. And I transplanted the sunflowers and pansies to a bigger pot and they now live outside! I know you were really worried about them, so I though I’d give you an update ;). Also, tomorrow I am driving to Spokane with Todd to start moving into our house!!!
Enjoy the rest of your time there, and please have safe travels home!
<3 <3 <3, Aids
Costanza,
what a gifted writer you are! Thank you so much for your beautiful reflections. I especially love the “football team” picture. It is full of joy. Give my Blake a hug for me
Hola Constanza:
Un gusto leerte y tener la oportunidad de compartir contigo lo que hoy estas viviendo del otro lado del mundo. Sin duda una de esas experiencias que quedan para siempre y que en cada ocasion que la recuerdes para ti o compartas con alguien, reviviras cada uno de los momentos vividos y emociones. Sigue viviendola a todo, toma muchas fotos y pasala muy bien. Te mandamos un beso!
Los Ponce de Leon del Este
Constanza!!
Your title made me smile…I remember seeing your backpack before you left and both of us having doubts they would let you onto the plane! I guess they figured you were worth it 🙂
This idea of vulnerability you express is a universal problem, some far worse than others. Looking back at the comments I saw your mom, dad, and brother all commented on your post. That speaks volumes about the family you were brought up in and the continued love and support they show while you’re halfway across the world. I want to echo Kurt and his opinion on having a wonderful trio with you, Lauren, and Joe teaching the leadership class! What great role models all three of you are. What you are probably witnessing firsthand is the abundant love they Zambians have for not only everyone in their community but also all of you Gonzaga people! It is probably similar to the embrace we experienced in our week in East LA. One way to escape a vulnerable state is to know you are loved. I know you are doing your best to make everyone you are helping and making sure they are loved. Everyone is important and has a place in this world.
I love to see you guys playing soccer as well (I know Katie will agree it’s the best sport!). That picture is AWESOME. Hopefully you haven’t had anyone ask you “Why are you screaming?” while playing Three Flies Up haha.
Anyways, loved getting the update, enjoy the rest of your trip and safe travels back to your new home in California!
All the best,
Kyle
Constanza,
You are freaking adorable. I can totally picture you stressing over the items in your backpack… and soon you’ll leave Zambia hoping the memory and intention could last forever. Heck, just a few weeks ago we were having wine, bread, cheese, and a conversation about the “stressful” things of life. Now that seems to be a world away, right? It’s so strange and difficult to live in both worlds, to reconcile the paradoxical realities.
The best piece of advice I could share is to be vulnerable as Constanza so wisely highlighted. John Meyers and I used to reflect on our Zambezi experience quite often during that fall in 2010 (no, Josh, we were NOT composting). During that time I began to formulate my “this I believe” which goes a little something like this… “Open your palm to the world and let it influence you deeply – it’s one of the simplest and scariest things you could ever do. To hold and be held.” Look around you and embrace that challenge. How are you going to let yourself hold and be held today?
Claire Anderson
Zambezi ’10
Constanza!! I’ve been waiting for your post! Thank you for sharing your beautiful perspectives of this experience. The commonalities of human experience seem so wide when we’re far removed, but so similar when in community together. I know you have many more stories and perspectives to share and I can’t wait to hear them all!
Angela
Constanza:
No quiero ni imaginar la catidad de lagrimas que tus papas hallan derramado por este mensaje tan maravilloso que escribiste. Lo digo porque a mi tambien se me escaparon algunas lagrimas, y mientras mis lagrimas estaban llenas de envidia (de la buena) estoy seguro que las lagrimas de tus papas estaban totalmente llenas de orgullo dejando solo pequeños espacios para derramar lagrimas de si infinito amor de padres.
Me gusto muchisimo la historia que escribes y sobretodo la manera que la escribes. Lograste escribir una pequeña nota de una GRAN aventura, y nos sumerges en tu experiencia de una manera muy bella. Estoy seguro que tu y los del grupo 1, y la gente de Zambezi, que fueron los que generaron las alegrias de las que hablas, llevaran en su back pack imaginario este mensaje y esta experiencia por el resto de sus vidas. Ese back pack imaginario es su corazon, porque este tipo de experiencias se llevan en el corazon mas que en la mente.
Por mi parte, solo te digo que mi familia y yo, te queremos a ti, y a tu familia, con un cariño como de familia y le doy gracias a Dios que nos dio la oportunidad de conocerlos y de hacernos sus amigos, porque ustedes son una familia ejemplar.
Te mando un abrazo fuerte y ojala podamos vernos pronto. Cuidate.
Constanza
You are amazing and so worldly, that is all there is too it! This was so beautiful I almost cried… oh my gosh I cannot wait til you are back so I can hear about your amazing experience! Miss you!!!
you could potentially have a future in travel journalism just so you know.
that was beautifully written and i cannot wait to see you when we both get back.
xoxo
ps totally understood what you wrote in spanish 🙂
Constanza!
I saw the title and burst out laughing! I know packing was tough for you! But on another note, I just wanted to say how happy I am for you. I knew that this would be an incredibly life changing experience for you and from the sound of this post, it definitely was. I am so proud to call you one of my best friends at Gonzaga and this post embodies all of the reasons why I am proud to call you that. You are such a caring, compassionate, and understanding person and I know that the people of Zambezi will miss you dearly. I cannot wait for you to come back stateside and talk all about your adventures. So call me, maybe? Haha! (But seriously, skype date ASAP!)
Love you!
BG
Chela,
Me da muchisimo gusto que te la est’es pasando tan bomba. Tambi’en me acuerdo del arbol de bugambilias y me acord’e de toda la familia en M’exico…. Regresa sana y salva a casa, y ya me tendr’as que contar que tal te fue.
Cuidate mucho.
Patito
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