When I look back to the first night spent in Zambia at the Reed Mat Lodge, the very first thing I noticed was the largest spider I had ever seen, and then another. I was already panicked within a few hours of being in Zambia, as I am not so much a bug or insect person. However, I am a mosquito person as they love me so much and I have countless mosquito bites (don’t worry mom and grandma, I don’t have malaria, Ebola, yellow fever, or typhoid…yet). As I crawled into bed underneath my mosquito net for the first time, I was not sure if I was going to do well on this trip with all of my annoying fears. Little did I know those fears and comfort zones were going to be pushed and broken down.
Last Saturday, the group had the opportunity to travel to Dipalata, a rural village outside of Zambezi. When I say rural, I mean a stereotypical African village with no electricity and plumbing, so yes, we peed, pooped, and some hurled in a hole in the ground. I told myself to go to the bathroom right before we left and not again until we got back since I don’t like to go to the bathroom in honey buckets or even on airplanes, let alone a hole in the ground. My plan was not very successful; I had to pee within an hour of being there and I grabbed the toilet paper we had brought and made the trek to the holes, which were partially enclosed with walls of sticks and grass. You could say I was a little uncomfortable. From that moment on however, my comfort zone began to expand more and more.
Sunday, I was lucky enough to spend my 19th birthday in Dipalata and then riding back to Zambezi. The people of Dipalata were so amazingly gracious and gave us many gifts of love and gratitude. These gifts included bananas straight off the tree, groundnuts, large squashes and pumpkins, a chicken, a rooster (from hot James, the beekeeper) and one live goat. How were we getting a live goat back to Zambezi you ask? By tying its legs together so it could not move and stuffing it under the seat in the most stereotypical African Safari truck you could imagine. We should have been wearing khakis and jungle hats. Who got to ride two feet away from Mr. Gotye? Many of us enjoyed this privilege and I was one of them. Never would I have ever have thought I’d get to be in Africa gazing out across the beautiful plains while frequently being kicked and hearing the wails of an upset goat right next to me on my 19th birthday, but the day had just begun.
Our next stop was a suspension bridge built many years ago to prevent deaths from crossing the Zambezi River. This bridge was HIGH and looked very unstable. Did I mention I am afraid of heights? I took my first step out onto that bridge and my thoughts were “No one is ever going to believe I did this. Kenzie, get a picture of me!” 
I walked over that bridge while admiring the beautiful Zambian sunset twice suffering only from a few minor cuts (thanks Nurse Hannah), a little bit of sweat, and having to dodge many scared Zambians and a motorcycle, only to come back to find the rooster and Mr. Gotye loose in the back of the truck with poop and pee on various personal items, including my jacket and Jo’s brand new bag. Oh the adventures kept coming.
I am not sure why I thought this would be the only time I rode in an African Safari truck with a goat because it happened TWO more times! One of those times, the goat was no longer under the seat but right next to me as it cuddled with the wonderful Reilly Dooris’ feet. I prayed Van Goat (the name of goat #2) would not panic and begin to cause a little too much excitement in one day.
Through these small and funny circumstances, I can see myself growing and pushing myself more and more. With that, I have come to see the boundaries I have set for myself that I cannot seem to break down. A lot of the students have mentioned the countless children waiting for us outside the Convent but I still cannot bring myself to go outside and play during my little amount of free time. I still do not feel comfortable holding hands with every child that wants to. I still freak out every time a bug comes near me, even when Reilly says to me “LaShantay, we’re in Africa!”
I do not know why these walls that I cannot seem to get myself to break down are so strong. I want to experience everything I can but sometimes I am a little too out of my comfort zone. Something that Josh said when we first arrived in Zambezi was “Lean in and say yes.” This phrase is used a little jokingly around the convent, but I really do wish to lean into my fears as I sit here typing this, looking at cockroaches crawling on the walls. Our time in Zambezi is quickly approaching an end and I want to be able to say I grew in ways I did not expect. So far, although that has happened, I know that even more walls can be broken down. Learning begins when you step outside of your comfort zone and I can feel that I have been learning everyday.
Kisu Mwane,
LaShantay Walls Class of 2018
P.S. Thanks to all of my friends and family for the birthday wishes. The group and I went out to dinner and had nice cold drinks to celebrate, it was definitely a birthday for the books. I hope you are doing well and I love you all! Mom, finish classes strong and tell everyone I miss and love them! I’ll see you in Tacoma J Grandma, I love you so much and I cannot wait to see you soon! Give Prince and Sugar hugs and kisses for me J
Awwww Tay,
I have been waiting to read your blog! Everyone else has had me in tears but I cried only for a second when I realized it was you blogging. I quickly began to giggle remembering all of our conversations leading up to you leaving that you subliminally touched upon! (I was so scared and happy for you) L OL
It is enlightening to hear your doing well, and that your only being eaten and scared of the BUGS……EWW. I’m happy to hear your tring to break down they walls and continue to grow. I can’t imagin how I would react to all the uncomfortable (different) things going on around in Africa but please please try hard to embrace the extremes and let go so that You can enjoy every last minute in that beautiful country! I know that this experience and memories will be life changing!!!!!
PS. Bradley and the kids loved the story….I cantu believe you were that engaged with the goat LOL and we are glad you got to do something special for your birthday! We can’t wait to hear all the stories….see you on the 9th in Seattle! I love you!
PSS. Dad and I are buying a goat when you get home to go with all rest of our animals! His name will be Curry!!!!!! (He is too goofy)
Love your Mommy
LeShantay – I was so impressed by you during our brief time together, particularly by the fact that you took this journey during your freshman year. That, I said to myself, is one brave chick. And I’m still saying it, even after reading that you’re afraid of spiders (ditto – African spiders are the size of a Buick), heights (ditto, I have to close my eyes in glass elevators), goats (so cute from a distance, not so much when they’re in your car), and pooping in holes (I don’t even know what to say here). Even after reading that you don’t necessarily want to hold hands with every single kid in Zambia. Personal space never stops being important, nor should we try to make believe that it does. But I saw something in you, when you were teaching at Chilena, and when you were reading and singing to an ever-growing group of kids in Dipalata. You were having fun and you made sure the kids around you were having fun, too. You made sure they knew that, even if it seemed as if the world wasn’t so kind, and even if they may not ever have much more than what they had at that moment, they had belly laughs with the girl with the huge smile and big heart. One spider, one bridge, one kid at a time, right? Go Zag girl, go.
Learning happens outside of your comfort zone. Thanks for being vulnerable with your scary spaces, LaShantay. It was a true joy to see you facing these challenges head on.
I woke up at 4am to the soft sounds of birds in my neighborhood (no roosters here) and realized that you were in the middle of the Accompaniment Lunch. This is one of my Zam highlights — so many Zambians who have served us, honored through your invitations and great food (so many goats giving of their lives for you). With only a couple full days left in Zambezi, I hope that you embrace every moment, work that Zam Bucket List, and deepen these relationships. Despite the cold showers, African bugs, and early morning roosters, you will be missing Zambezi soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers during these last full days.
Hi Zambezi Team,
It’s Joel’s sister again. I’ve been noticing a few blog posts counting down the days until you return. The limited days of the rest of your trip makes me think of you guys even more. This blog post goes with exactly what I’ve been thinking about sharing with your team. Yes, your time there is limited. Yes, for most of you, it probably went by so fast. But yes, there is still so much time left.
Breath. Feel the sun. Let the dust sink into your skin. Look at the feelings displayed on the faces around you. Learn something about your teammate. Play a new game. Sleep sweetly and safely tucked into your mosquito nets.
My prayer is that you will slowly feel and continue to savor everything that makes Zambia different than your life at home.
And always remember to see God in everyone.
Blessings,
Ellie
Thanks for making me laugh instead of crying first of all. I thought about the spiders
but didn’t want to say anything before you went however I don’t believe it would have
changed your mind about going. Does this mean that you will kill the spiders now? Ours will look so small and helpless that they shouldn’t scare you now. Ha Ha Honestly, I knew I would never go when I saw the cocoon you had to sleep in, inside your sleeping bag! You are very brave to have embraced this challenge. I’m always so proud of you and now I am even prouder (if that is possible) of you for facing your
fears and breaking down some of those walls. I only have one little bit of advice: please try to immerse yourself even more because this will only happen once in your
life and you do not want to have any regrets. Remember what I said: even if you are miserable, you have to enjoy it. I am confident that you make the most of every minute you have there. I love you and miss you.
PS: Grandpa Melvin says Hi and he is looking forward to hearing all about your adventures
PSS: Please give the little kids a hug for me
PSSS: I gave Sugar and Prince kisses for you.