Friendship: when you’re not afraid to dance together

 

Chingoloshi Mwane! (good evening)

Hello to everyone back home! While you all anticipate the moments before these blogs are posted, I dreaded the time when it would be my turn. But here it is, and this has actually been a forced outlet to help me finally reason through some of my thoughts. Inadequacy has been a subtle trend among the blogs and some comments, and that is precisely why I feared this blog. I admire the eloquence, insightfulness, and overall positivity towards life my peers all have. Spending time and building relationships with them has truly been a blessing. They continue to teach me new things everyday about how I want to live.

Last night the power went out during our reflection time. Of course the best ideas when the lights cannot be turned back on is to tell scary stories, so that is precisely what we did. Sixteen “chindeles” all huddled close together in one bedroom surrounding a headlamp. We switched the flap of the headlamp to red to really set the mood. Madame Lucy and Hayley proved to be the best story tellers, filling our minds with the suspense of a near death experiences and a chilling history of the Music Mansion. With the exception of the retreat earlier this year, telling scary stories has been my favorite bonding experience thus far. This and other experiences have led me to find deeper meaning in a quote Dr. Josh shared with us just the other night. “Friendship, real and deep, is the foundation of giving that empowers” – Aaron Ausland. Between us chindeles, our friendship really has empowered me to step out of my comfort zone and be vulnerable with everyone around me.

Similarly, my relationships with Junior, Matubu, and Mirriam, have torn open my heart and filled it with unconditional love. Without any hesitation they each welcomed me into their homes, showed me their family traditions, and offered unheard of hospitality; most symbolic of all was holding a bowl and pitcher for me to wash my hands. They have given me so much: trust, love, laughs, and the Luvale language, and all they ask in return is that I am reliable in our plans and am completely present during our meetings. These three, along with their sisters, Beauty and Rachel, and the rest of the families, have truly become my brothers and sisters in such a short time.

Hailey’s blog asked what we have to give. I think that with our friendships we can empower the Zambians. Empower them to be the difference they are looking for in their lives. It is a common request from the children to, “Give me storybook/camera/ sunglasses.” Giving these things does not build a real and deep friendship. We are not empowering the children, or adults, to be strong in their moments of weakness and push through. They will never feel the overwhelming happiness that comes from success if we give anything less than our friendship.

Last night we hosted Mama Love and her husband Duncan for dinner. Mama shared her story and the hardships she has faced including having a small family that has since passed away. One day Mama began her own foundation to fight for the right of her people. “No one should ever suffer,” she explained. Her foundation, SEPA, advocates for the education of Zambians, specifically the people of Zambezi. She has opened many community schools and provides simple necessities like clothes to those who attend. Mama Love then told a story about an illness she had that she requested to have the highest medical care available. Unless the patient asks, or more so demands, this level of care, they will not receive it. Mama explained most Zambians are unaware they have this right, and therefore don’t receive enough care resulting in death. This was a very powerful example of the importance of education throughout the nation. It is also a great example of how Mama Love is offering a relationship to the community around her to empower them to improve their lives through education.

Whether we are simply kneeling down and making a child feel loved with our attention, or beginning a foundation to build relationships, both instances have a lasting effect on the individuals involved. That is what I think is our gift to the Zambians. As Mateo shared with us tonight, “No one will remember what you said or what you did, they will remember how you made them feel.” My new brothers and sisters have made a lasting effect on my life by making me feel so loved and challenging me to be as equally open with them. Many of us here struggle with the thought of not being able to do enough for the community, but I believe the mutual gift of unity can promote a successful future.

Kisu Mwane,

Lauren Bledsoe, Class of 2015

p.s. gotta go.

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26 Responses to Friendship: when you’re not afraid to dance together

  1. Gary Ross (Proud Dad of Lauren) says:

    Dear Miss Lauren,

    WOW – you guys are creating some amazing uplifting and dynamic exchanges over there. What a beautiful thing. I am so very proud… I am going to get a new suit today because my chest is puffed. The photos and thoughts you all are capturing are incredible. I know you must be extremely busy so thanks for capturing and writing. The family is doing great – and we talk and think of you often. I look forward to tomorrow!! Love you, Dad

  2. Lynda McCann says:

    Thank you Lauren…once again I’m teary eyed and so touched by another blog…although its only been a week, your blogs are all filled with so much detail, so much emotion, so many thoughts, questions and so much love! We may be missing you all but are in awe of all you’re experiencing! I can’t wait for more 😉
    Kaitlyn, in case youre wondering what weve been up to…Kourtney -school, twitter, work, twitter, lifeguarding, twitter, dealing with her car(she needs new tires again) and twitter! Not necessarily in that order 😉 Wendy…school, your clothes, 3-13, softball…yes she won her game again last night, sleeping in your bed and missing you 😉 Daddy -he’s been super busy with his trial but he finally did closing yesterday. He texted me 20min ago…the verdict came back already…drumroll…guilty! 🙂 Now he’s leaving on a ‘leadership’ retreat so if you don’t hear from him on here in the next 3 days…just means he doesn’t have service…but he loves you bunches. Christian-Tawnya was right when she said a certain someone was stopping on his run to check the website for a new blog…(I thought I was bad) ;), and to quote a text I got from him a couple days ago..”I never thought I could miss someone this much though…And it hasn’t even been a week yet! I can’t stop playing through my head what it will be like picking her up at the airport haha, its going to be a long few weeks up till that point…” you are definitely being missed by everyone! As are you all! Just remember all you’re doing for that community, for us at home and most of all for yourselves…
    Keep embracing it, keep building those friendships, relationships, keep making the difference, keep loving, living and DANCING along the journey! I love you always Kaitlyn! (((Hugs))) and God Bless you all! Xoxo

  3. Larry Newman says:

    Lauren Bledsoe,
    You are now my favorite, well at least tied for 1st. That was a wonderful account of your time spent and your apprehensions. I am very impressed with the honesty you all are displaying in your very thoughtful writings. Stateside I’m sure we all have our impressions of what your experiencing but at least for me it wont be until Megan gets home that we really see for ourselves how impactful the trip was. Megan we miss you a lot but it’s really nice to see what you guys are doing.
    Love, Pops or “Master Beardsman” as I’m getting to be known as.

    lastly, I’ve been reading international newspapers online and I haven’t yet seen any accounts of “gotta go” sweeping through Africa yet. Obviously I’m sure it’s catching on though.

  4. Tom Hobson says:

    Great update Lauren! Very insightful. Many of your references to empowerment and friendship apply here at home, as well.

  5. Katie Blackburn says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Lauren! I love the picture of you all huddled around one head-lamp 🙂 You’ll never forget moments like that.

    And miss Lucy- dang your reflection was beautiful!! I hope you have lots of pictures of you three ZG interns dancing at the homestay! P.S. Blake came by today and we looked at the total funds you have raised this year- ZG brought in over $5000 in the last 11 months for the very school you are serving!! Amazing stuff!!

    Sending love to everyone!
    -Katie

  6. Amber Siciliano says:

    I was so happy to see another posting when I got on my computer today!! It is so amazing reading about all of your stories and memories you are making and I look forward to more! It’s still surreal to me that you are actually in Africa right now Katie, I hope you are having the TIME OF YOUR LIFE!!! 🙂 You are missed dearly and I cannot wait to read your blog in the future!! 🙂 I hope you are able to see all of the messages from your family and Christian and I because we all truly miss you tons!! Thanks for writing such a great post Lauren!! I can’t wait to hear more!! 🙂
    Xoxoxoxo!

  7. carole marti says:

    Thank you for taking the time and effort to keep all of us back “here” enlightened about all of your wonderful experiences…and as I suspected, the “relationship” factor has become super important to everyone. When my husband and I were running mission trips for our church for several years, we used to tell the kids that “not everyone lives in a cul de sac in Lake Stevens”, and boy is that the truth in what you are all experiencing. Shaun, did you make it through the scary stories without having nightmares???? A single headlamp with a red bulb….oh my how great. Keep up the great work….keep God present each and every day. He is speaking to all of you through all that you are encountering. Love to you Shaun and to everyone there.

  8. Leslie Ross says:

    Lauren, it’s so good to hear from you & see your big smile! You’re all doing amazing things over there and give us inspiration. I’m so impressed with your stories and how brave you are in taking this journey. These memories will last forever. What an awesome opportunity… I’m so happy for you. As your dad would say “always leave a bigger pile of wood,” no doubt you are. We miss you very much here in Colorado & your family around the world. Thanks for sharing & making this world a better place!
    Our thoughts & prayers are with you always, love Mom

  9. Katy Lane says:

    Michelle B:

    Thanks so much for the birthday card! It was probably the most elaborate card I have ever received. Nicole and I miss you! We hope you weren’t too scared on the tiny plane! Guess what? Nicole ate a banana today! Have you converted yet? 🙂

  10. Brenda Sutton says:

    Lauren, Thank you for another detailed and insightful post. I loved your thoughts on building relationships. Your connections to the Zambians will surely transform both of you. Building relationships is the essence of life.
    Through each of your words and stories, I am living vicariously in Zambia. I will, however, pass on the scary tales in the dark – sounds horrifying!
    Garrett, I think about you every day. So glad you get to be a part of this incredible journey. Love you bunches, mom
    PS. “Gotta go” – just wanted to make sure Mr. Newman knows it caught on in Nebraska!

  11. Donald Dowd says:

    Miss Lauren,
    Never followed a blog before and it only took about 30 minutes after reading these to figure out how to leave a comment. I try to keep up with your posts and what you are doing over there. It sounds like your having great eye opening life enhancing changes. You are making a difference and I’m proud of you for that. I hope your relationships continue to grow as your stay progresses. I can’t wait to hear even more about everything when you get back. Keep up the great work Lauren. Stay safe.
    -Donald (Brandon). 🙂

  12. Morganne McCann says:

    I miss you Katie oh so much. But you are making a difference in this crazy world so I have to let you go!! When you come back..you best not expect anything less than a full on Morganne attack. I am so proud of you and know that the people you are with will be greatly affected by your beautiful presence. They are blessed to have you!! I am a bit jealous of them :))) Cant wait to see you katmando!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

  13. Hikaru says:

    DUN DUNDUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…. JASONNNNNNNNNNN!!! HAPPY FLIPPITY-FLOPPING BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Walk around town telling all that it’s your birthday and I hope you get messed with, in all the positive ways, of course. Imagine me jumping up and down, screetching, jumping in circles around you, then taking a pause, getting a crowd to sing to you and smiling continuing to walk like nothing happened. (insert smile here) Happy Birthday, hugs on hugs. Mateo: hug him for me and kiss him on the cheek in this moment!!!

    Lauren: your title says it all. When you’re not embarrassed to teach Zambians how to pop-lock-and drop it, then get showed-up because they can probably do it better, that’s real friendship 😉 (insert wink)
    Josh: the quote Lauren mentioned on this blog immediately put my thoughts to Erin and Constanza, both a very special friendship that I cannot put in to words, very different from many that I have with other friends. Thank you and Ausland for your wise words and thoughts.
    Please give Mama Kwatu my love and Baby Joshua many kisses for me. Praying for all of you and always sending positive thoughts your way.

    Mwane Mwane Mwane,
    Hikaru

  14. Andre House says:

    What an insightful reflection, Lauren! “No one will remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel” Life truly is about building relationships and I’m certain you and the other ZAGS are building relationships with the Zambians as reflected in your thought provoking blogs. Stay safe and keep flashing that wonderful smile of yours!

    Conner- We all miss you and love you very much! Can’t wait to see your face and hear about all of your experiences! Love Mom, Dad and Chad.

  15. Paul Brajcich says:

    Lauren thank you for the reflections. This is one of the college experiences you will always remember. Michelle I miss you and follow the blogs intently. We look forward to all thay you will have to share when you return. Enjoy the moment! Love Dad

  16. Monte Marti says:

    Thanks for the post. These are the words that struck me: vulnerable ~ unconditional love ~ completely present ~ making me feel so loved and challenging me to be as equally open with them. These are all key actions and thoughts that make us stop and think. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and making us all think. You make me smile! GOD BLESS! Monte

  17. Erin Dorsey says:

    To Lauren. Thank you for your post. It was delightful!!!
    I notice myself telling complete strangers that my daughter is in Africa. Baristas, store clerks…I can’t help myself. In every conversation I hear myself saying it. I want our community to know how brave you all are. That you said “Yes” instead of an easier, more comfortable choice. I want people to know that while most of us talk about making a difference in places like Africa (including myself) there you all are doing it. I am so proud of all of you. So in honor of my sweet daughter Delaney and the work that you are all up to, here’s a piece from one of her favorite authors. My guess is that it is familiar to you.

    ~Jack Kerouac
    Here’s to the crazy ones.
    The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.
    The round pegs in the square holes.
    The ones who see things differently.
    They’re not fond of rules.
    And they have no respect for the status quo.

    You can praise them, disgrace them, quote them, disbelieve them,
    glorify or vilify them.
    About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
    Because they change things.
    They invent. They imagine.
    They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire.
    They push the human race forward.
    Maybe they have to be crazy.

    How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
    Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
    Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
    While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
    Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can
    change the world, are the ones who do.

    Love to Delaney

  18. Sherie Crha says:

    I just wanted to say I miss my daughter!!!!! Feeling a little blue today Allison, but I know your having an incredible experience. Love you. Mom

  19. Melanie Denning says:

    LOVE, love, love, reading your updates!! Hayley M….we received a brief email from T and he’s doing WELL!! Pray for you both always as you drift through my heart, which is ALOT! xo!

  20. Nolan Grady says:

    What wonderful reflections from what I can tell is an amazing group. It’s amazing how quickly bonds can form when you choose to go beyond yourself. That is the true friendship that creates that sense of empowerment Aaron Ausland refers to. I’m excited for all of you to continue your journey in Zambezi. I have been blessed to know some of you during my time at GU, and I’m glad to see you have all chosen to be a part of experiences that add greater meaning to your life. I think the world of each of you for doing that.

    Josh, I hope you aren’t getting lonely in Zambezi without your yoga partner. If a priest can go a lifetime, you can do four weeks. I’ve been following the blog closely, and have been thinking of our journeys together, grateful for all of them. I hope you still find ways to keep your heart wide.

  21. Christina says:

    Auntie Lauren! Short, but sweet…we are sooooo incredibly proud of you. Love you sweet sister! Stay safe and absorb the experience as much as possible. Jovi and Everi are so lucky to have such an incredible mentor/auntie to look up to. I can only hope they turn out even half as amazing as you are. Stay safe and know you are loved!

  22. Teresa Baldwin says:

    Hey all of you…
    It is truly wonderful to read of your adventures. It is no surprise that our Lucy showed herself to be a master storyteller. We are looking forward to the Zambezi stories that are to come when you return. And by the way you rock that outfit. You all look wonderful. And this momma is spoiled to see her girls shiny face twice in a row. So much love to you from your fam who loves you.
    Love Momma Baldwin

  23. Carla Whitney (Proud Auntie) says:

    Hi there sweetheart! You and your friends are so amazing…how very proud I am to be a part of your life, and get the opportunity to see you grow in knowledge, experience and emotion. As you said, unity is a key to a successful future. And it looks like you are headed for a great one! Love you, and sending you good thoughts, energy, and wishes every day.
    Love you so much, and can’t wait to see you again.
    Carla

  24. Uncle Richard says:

    Hi Sweetie,
    You are an inspiration to all of us for sharing the bright light within you with those less fortunate. You bring new meaning to making memories and what you may not realize is that how facing your fears and reaching out to those beautiful people has enriched their lives forever. Not to mention the life time memories you get to carry with you forever. You have always been a giver, so it came as no surprise to me that you jumped at the chance to make this journey. When it come to Love. You got to give it away to keep it. So keep giving it away and bring some to the your west coast family in Santa Barbara. Could not be prouder of you. Be safe and hurry home, we miss you.
    Love Uncle

  25. Auntie Mel says:

    These blogs are so touching they make me cry. No doubt you will come home with a whole new perspective. We miss you and are so happy that you are safe and treasuring your experience there. You are truly a blessing for all those you encounter. I can’t wait until we can get together and hear all the stories you have to tell in person.
    Love you,
    Auntie Mel

  26. Faith Johnson says:

    Lauren I am so proud of you, and I am glad that you are learning so much from this experience. When you come back, you will have learned so many things about life that few people know. It really is a beautiful thing to know that you are seeing living situations from a completely different perspective than what we normally see on a day-to-day basis.
    I cannot wait to sit with you and really listen to all the amazing stories you have already faced. You’ve always been remarkably strong, but this makes you even stronger as a person. You are such an inspiration to the entire family and we love you to the moon and back. We are cousins, we are sisters, and most of all we are friends; and I agree that cherishing that is one of the strongest bonds that you can have with one person. I will always hold on to that!

    Admire the last moments you are there, because you will be coming home to big bear hugs before you know it.

    Miss you so much Lo,
    ❤Faith

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