Fr. Baraza asked me the other night at supper if I forgot that we were in Africa. While these days somehow manage to be both never-ending and over before they seem to begin, my answer was “Yes, Fr. B. It is difficult to believe we are finally in Zambezi” and tomorrow we begin teaching classes. Many of us still question if we are qualified to teach.
Within our first few steps off the plane, we were greeted by Jesse and the Chilenga Basic School Choir. Within a couple more steps came John, the church elder, who coordinated much of our arrival, and countless others whose names have already escaped me. Along the walk to the convent that has quickly become home, we were greeted by numerous townspeople. Once inside the chain-link fence that marks the beginning of our home, we found first the smells of lunch being prepared by Mama Violet and Mama Katendi along with the sounds of Gilbert making last-minute preparations for our stay. After practicing our best, almost nonexistent, Lunda greetings and introducing ourselves to each of the individuals, I overheard Josh quietly remark, “It really does take a village to bring Gonzaga to Zambezi.”
Zambezi road waiting to be explored…
Over the next two days as we explored and met more community members, I have begun to see all that Zambezi is doing to truly make this place a home for each of us.
After rounds of singing and a little dancing during this morning’s much anticipated mass, we were reminded of the way Socrates divides people—those who watch things happen, those who are oblivious to what is happening around them, and those who make things happen. From the excitement of the community members and children who accompany us as we journey out into Zambezi to the hours of work our host Mama’s put into cooking us a “truly Zambian” meal to the Mamas in our own home and even to our own faculty, I am surrounded by and in awe of those who make things happen here.
And as I think to my own place in this community, I find myself wedged in a space between stopping, observing, and watching things happen around me and jumping in, creating relationships, and making things happen. I have found I am not completely comfortable with either just yet. In front of me is Zambezi, which does not need me to do anything or need anything from me. Beside me I have the mindset many Zags carry close to us at home and at school. Make a difference. Get things done. Within me lies a tension between the two. Between being someone who observes the interactions between Zambians, forming questions and struggling with what I have observed, and finding my place to ask those questions and discover what it means for me to be a person who gets things done here.
Kisu Mwane,
Morgan Smith
Class of 2019
P.S. To Molly and Sam: Daniel and the Family (especially Shalome, Ester, Sepiso, Natasha, Mapilo, and new Baby Immaculate) say hello to their best friends in America and were happy to hear that you are both doing well! I can’t wait to talk with each of you about the unique experience of becoming a part of this family.
P.P.S Mama, Jim, Alexa, Cali, and Kirill, there are little things in Zambezi that remind me of you everyday. Mama, as the “be good bells” rang in church this morning I looked around at all the little kids surrounding us and felt you next to me. Lex, I could see you here walking with the kids from place to place and loving the women of the town. Give Bug a big hug for me!
Morgan.
I loved this so much.
Thank you for being so enriching
Much love to ALL-
Abbey and Joe
Sweet Morgan,
How lovely it is to hear from you. Thank you for your honest reflection and naming the tension of wanting to do and needing to simply be. In just a few days you’ve been able to notice all the individuals and intentional time that goes into making your few weeks there special, and you’re only a few days in! I think back to my time in Zambezi (which feels so long ago now) and Mama Katendi, Mama Josephine, and Fr Chomba struck me as some of the movers and shakers of this place…not always loud (well Mama Josephine often is haha), but always egging on goodness, innovation, and vision in the community they love. That sounds a lot like what you do on campus to, Morgan! You are so full of kindness, compassion, and a big love. It’s been a pleasure spending this past year with you. I am so, so excited for you to have this time in Zambezi.
I’m sending lots of love and constant thought to you, Morgs (Green!), Taylor, and Elly. Proud of all of you and wholeheartedly believe in you as you start classes tomorrow and as you navigate your time and relationships here.
I’ll leave you with an Elie Wiesel quote I love…”We must see any person as an abstraction. Instead, we must see in every person a universe with its own secrets, with its own treasures, with its own sources of anguish, and with some measure of triumph.” Continue to see the beautiful and unique “universes” that are inside each and every one of us and thank your Zambian friends and GU friends for the privilege it is to see glimpses of their world.
Love always and kisu mwane,
Lindsey Hand
Morgan,
It lifts me up to know that you (and so many others in the group, I’m sure) are making the harder choice: to sometimes feel stuck in the gray area, to feel pulled between those three movements you named, to let the community you are being held by be who they are: complicated and strong and kind. You are so right; you are not a savior, but you have an important place. I am so excited to see how you all discover your roles in Zambezi during this month, a little trail of vocations, callings just for you. Morgan, It makes me sad that we didn’t have more time at Gonzaga together, but I’m still looking forward to our one-day backpacking trip in the Enchantments 🙂
To my math teacher lady, Mogs: It is already insanely difficult for me to function without your quiet strength, your steadfastness, your intentionality and your justice-seeking heart across the hall. I hope that tomorrow’s journey into the classroom will bring you joy, challenge, and peace. I miss you dearly already.
Taylor and Elly: I love you and I know that you both will give immeasurable gifts to the group just by being yourselves. Enjoy the beautiful, messy adventure this month brings; home will be waiting for you at 511.5 when you return.
Love love love,
Moogle (Megan O’Malley)
Morgan!
I so appreciate your thoughtful reflections and beautiful words. All those hours in the writing center paid off, hey? 🙂 I love the way you describe being “wedged” between things in Zambezi. It’s important to observe and equally important to contribute, to let your lovely soul seep out into this group and this community and to soak up the perspectives of those around you. It’s the best kind of both/and.
Your complex and nuanced way of processing is admirable and, I imagine, helpful for and valuable to your group. Continue to share your beautiful voice and speak life into your experiences, referencing Socrates whenever possible. I know you are all doing this with each other, and I challenge you to process with Zambians, too. Their knowledge and experience can provide a lens of understanding we can only grasp at. Make some outlines about it & shoot me an email when ya get back 😉
Okay. Chimene mwane, Zaggies. In preparation for the first day of classes, I wanted to share part of a very scattered journal entry I found while flipping through my 2015 journal yesterday:
“It was our first day of classes today and I had to teach about root cause analysis and it was a complete shit show. I cried in my bed for a while. Then I talked to Venezia and Jeff and felt much better. The afternoon class was great.”
Today you will experience the full range of human emotion when you (yes, 19 or 20-something undergraduate you) stand in front of a group of eager Zambians who expect you to know stuff. It’s okay to be nervous or anxious. It’s okay to have a bit of a meltdown. But my hope is that, despite how scary it is, teaching will inspire, humble, and empower you. Learn from your students. Ask questions and stick around to hear the full answer. Be brave enough to wait out that silence when nobody wants to speak up. Call on those whose voices aren’t readily heard. Then learn from your blunders and try it all over again tomorrow.
And any time you need to share in feelings of teaching anxiety or shame or wild success, seek out Ms. Morgan Lee Green. She’s got a whole year’s worth to share and she’s one of the most committed, humble, hardworking teachers I know. She’s taught me lots already.
I’m so proud of the growing you’re all doing. I think of you often.
Ngwakuzanga, chindeles,
Katie
Morgan,
Thank you for your wise words- it’s so good to hear your voice in this blog post. I was sitting in a coffee shop a few days ago with your copy of Love Does, and your underlining and little notes in the margins made me feel like you were sitting across the table from me. So crazy to remember that you’re actually halfway across the world! While I have never experienced Zambia, I can picture you there, being your barefoot, joyful self, and it makes me smile. I’m excited to see how this place becomes a part of you. Sending much love and many prayers to all of you (and hugs to Taylor, CMay, Morgan Green, Jessica, and Elly).
Much love!
Abby
(P.S. CMay- I found some Captain America scrubs the other day and thought of you!)
Oh Morgan
We are so proud of you. Just as you think of your family back home, we are thinking of you. The closing hymn at church today was “Go Make A Difference”. I thought of you as I sang it. I know you ARE making a difference. Get things done, but don’t concentrate so much on “getting it done” that you miss the connections along the way. Enjoy the small things, the people, the experiences. Stay uncomfortable, you will grow.
Keeping you and all the Zags in our prayers.
We love you.
Mom and Jim
Dearest Morgie,
I have been out of cell and internet service for a few days and have been anxious to get on and read the next post from one of you wise Zags. Of course when I read the word “supper” in the first sentence , I immediately knew it was you. And reading this whole post in your words was one of the most comforting moments of my day. So thank you. I love that you are asking questions in typical Morgan-fashion and that you are not putting yourself into any category just yet. I know that your place in the community will be found soon enough, and I wish I could see Zambia shine on you in live action. I can’t wait to hear you articulate it even more beautifully to me when you get back and we resume our weekly graps. I love you so very much and of course am always praying for you!
Tay – wow what I would give to be back in the Lidge with you right now talking your ear off about some random topic as you patiently listen waiting to fall asleep. I’m so very proud of you and excited that you are on this journey that has been calling on you for so very long. Ilysm babyyyyy. Love and prayers to you!
Ashley
Morgan,
I loved reading these words and imagining all of you stepping off of those terrifying bush planes and onto that tarmac into loving and welcoming arms. Thank you for bringing me back to those first moments in Zambezi – the overwhelming, the unsure, the amazing, the moment you begin to realize that this will quickly become your new home. Continue to soak those moments in, and live in the spaces you find yourself in, regardless of how uncomfortable they may be.
Good luck to all of you in your first day of classes – I distinctly remember being terrified on this day and wondering how in the heck I was qualified to teach fifteen 6th graders. Remember to laugh and sing and dance with your students, learn their names, and soak up all the wisdom and love they have to share with you.
Keeping you all in my heart and in my prayers!
All my love. Kisu mwane,
Riley Ramage
Morgan,
“In front of me is Zambezi, which does not need me to do anything or need anything from me. Beside me I have the mindset many Zags carry close to us at home and at school. Make a difference. Get things done. Within me lies a tension between the two.”
Wow. Let me see…words are hard and frankly I don’t exactly know why I am leaving a comment because you have all the wisdom you need contained in those comments above. And… they are all from incredible people that have an incredible amount of love for you. So… in the tension remember that. But. Between you and me, I wanted you to know…that you have a very wise soul my friend. You know me a little bit, but just know that you are admired. You have named a tension that even I have struggle to name and to get past. However, I am thinking about what those other wise people hinted at above. You are in a place where time is relative, where dancing is frequent, and where relationships are the bases for everything. Socrates felt like he had to be a “doer” because he need to be that gad fly (ie. wake society up to the bigger things that life holds). I don’t know if you are really called in this place or at least at this point to take on that role. Maybe your place today in this culture is not to do, but to purely be. Share in your weaknesses. Strengthen each other with your separate strengths and voice your very different experiences. And… I promise if you are experiencing the right amount of tension there will be beauty in that, but whatever you do…do not silence your voice because you are scared of the tension. I know its uncomfortable, but you have the support from this end and an amazing team that will shortly become family. Additionally, DO NOT RUN FROM THE TENSION. Stand there, walk along it and bravely walk through it. There is more beauty in the experience that way.
Those roads look like they are perfect for exploring. I hope you explore every one of them! See where they take you and keep those beautiful ears/ eyes of yours open because you have alot more to learn and to voice there.
Continue being.
Morgan!
So great to see your blog this morning on my way to work! It’s good to hear from you and I’m glad you’re doing well so far!! You really captured how fresh and new this experience is for all of you! And I loved you grappling with the fact that you are in fact in Zambia. As Josh might recall, I constantly had to remind myself (and thus, the group) “Do you know where we are?!?” throughout my first year there.
Im so excited for each and every one of you. I hope you all take something very unique and special from such an amazing place. You’re in the middle of the opportunity of a lifetime. One that will shape who you are for years to come. Hold on to every moment, but also make sure to maintain the balance you individually need to fully enjoy the experience for yourself.
I’m so excited to be following along.
Kisu Mwane
-Conner House.
ZamFam 2013
Zamily 2014
Morgan,
Your blog was so well written and it made me feel how inspired you are by this experience. Your title “It takes a village” is so true in many of life’s endeavors. Society would be more in unison with one another if we would reach out to others for their knowledge and wisdom, or just a helping hand. I look forward to hearing about your journey when you return. I can already picture your smile and see the joy in your face. Now “get things done” and “make a difference.”
Carla
Hi, Morgan.
You’re great.
Dodd
PS, The best thing about being late to the commenting party is learning all the nicknames people have for you.
PPS, Love how you’re wrestling with the sticky stuff. At its best, the doing is important because it helps to change our beings and the state of being of those around us.
UPS, I’ll echo something wise Katie Polacheck said: process with people from the community: Katendi, Violet, Josephine, Dom, AND OTHERS. Go back to your homestay and ask “why?” Pull aside an adult student or teacher, asking “how do you ______?” Walk around the market until you find someone willing to take you to the house with the most verdant lemon tree in town; then ask the lady there to tell you about them. Go sit on James and Mary’s porch for an hour, learning all about their family; say hi to little Paul for me, and ask how James’s father is doing. Don’t forget that if you are really practicing accompaniment, Zambians are important teachers.
USPS, Hope your first day on the projects went great. I’ll be tilting a ginger beer in solidarity with you all.
Morgan,
Wow I was immediately brought back to the convent with your words. You have managed to acknowledge the confusion early on. As you continue to figure out your place and your role in Zambezi, remember that your students are all excited and eager to learn from you. The children outside the convent desire to play with you and the people in town just want to talk to you. Everyone is ready to be with you. You are kind and intellectual woman who has much to share with this new community.
Kelen – In the midst of returning home, I didn’t even realize that you had already blogged! Ohmygosh lady did I love it. It was so you and I felt like I was sitting with you as you read it aloud to me. I am so proud of you and all the work you have put into getting to Zambia. I can see you literally running with the children and I can also see you sitting in the common room just trying to figure your thoughts out. I’m sure Zambia sits well on your heart. Miss you lots (also I bought my ticket for Seattle and I can’t wait to visit you and hear about all of this is real life)
Maddie – How many Zambian books have you acquired? I bet your laughter has filled the convent a lot during your first days in Zambezi and I’m sure it will continue to light up those around you. Take it all in and do your thing
Elly – ELLLYCHOOOOOCHIIIEEEE THE MAGICAL TA ..I saw your picture with Father Dom and it just about made my heart burst with happiness. I hope you have enjoyed your time back in Zambezi. You are the best support system for these new Zags and I continue to think about all the good work you are doing for them.
Keep it up Zags,
Venezia ’17
Dearest Morgan
Your post was beautiful, I smiled from ear to ear as I heard your voice reading it.
You have so much to give and will take so much in your heart from Zambia.
It is 3:18am your time and 6:18pm my time, so I hope you are resting mind, body and soul.
I look forward to more blogging!
Julia
My dearest Morgan,
Wow!! What a crazy delight it is to hear that you also got to stay with such a beautiful and amazing family! They truly left an impact on Sam and me, and I am so happy to hear that you get to share in their love and their light, too. Your words have a very powerful way of bringing me right back to where I was a year ago. Thank you for sharing your beautiful insight and for constantly asking questions and observing, even when it is not easy to do so. I am waiting on the edge of my seat to sit with you in person and hear about how these days are impacting you.
P.S. – Jessica!!!! Hi, sorry I’m late to the game on your blog post, but wow oh wow was I happy to see that you are enjoying your time and that you are also taking the time to battle with undeniably challenging questions and realizations. Keep questioning, exploring, and leaning into the immense love around you. You are such a light.
P.P.S.- love you all so much! Hope your chacos are starting to smell LOL
Sweet Morgan,
As I read this, I can so easily picture it like a life update conversation in hemmingson. You desire to get things done, make a positive difference, and connect with others is one I’ve seen you live out at Gonzaga so faithfully and it’s such a gift to each of the communities you’re a part of. I know that you will be so blessed by the people you meet in Zambia and am confident they will feel blessed by you too.
I am so excited for you and cannot wait to hear more about your experiences when you’re home! Until then, you’re in my prayers!
Much Love
Lex