I sat parallel to Kamy on a blanket spread across the ground in an unfamiliar home surrounded by walls of pink and purple. Together, we patiently cut the long red and black braids from Eunice’s hair and unbraided the remainder, carefully untying the knots which secured them close to the root of her hair. Before this, she entered the room with a hair pic and a pair of scissors and said, “I need your help.” While in the middle of this I thought about how much trust she had for two complete strangers, strangers who had no idea about this style and type of hair. Without any direction or guidance, she simply handed us the scissors and told us, “Don’t be afraid to cut, my hair is quite short.” Here we were, three women experiencing an intimate moment with someone we had only known for a few hours. Her trust and vulnerability spoke volumes to me. I thought about my own experience, would I ever let a “stranger” this close to me personally and allow them to be in control of something I cared deeply about?
This trip has taught me to see the good and to let go of control, simply allowing myself to trust. Being away in an unfamiliar place has created much worry for my anxious self, but seeing the oneness of many here dilutes the presumptive bad. If and when we all start believing in the good over presumptive negative, we become more welcoming and more accepting. After spending time in Eunice’s home, I couldn’t help but wonder—if roles were reversed—would I invite her into mine and allow her to help me? Or in a broader context, would our own country and communities be open and welcoming to a group of “strangers?”
Over the past few days there have been many ideas running through my head about what concepts and words to use to help me adequately express this experience and the thoughts I have gained from it. While I now know that is impossible, this quote from “The Voice of Those Who Sing,” written by Gregory J Boyle is a start. “Jesus, with God, imagined a circle of compassion and imagined no one standing outside of it. Yet, many do stand outside the circle. And so, it is outside the circle where Jesus chooses to situate himself…He stands with the leper, the outcast, the public sinner, … until the prevailing culture, which aggressively shames, humiliates and isolates the outcast – welcomes the outsider in.” I have felt myself creating outsiders from time to time, judging or being untrustful of those around me based on how I perceive them, and my hope is to push past this perception and to put the good first when I encounter something outside, “my normal.” Can’t we all implement the philosophy of open but aware, still understanding the possibility of difficulties but not to let that exclude us from a potentially beautiful connection with another human being? We are more unified than divided in most cases and should try to push past the “us vs. them” mentality.
Being here, experiencing Zambezi as an outsider, I see a shift from what I am used to as I observe community members trusting us with intimate details of their lives, trusting us with their families and most of all trusting us to share our knowledge with them. This community has allowed us to stand within their circle when sometimes it would just be easier to leave us standing outside of it, and for that I am incredibly grateful. In this place we have been one with others instead of simply for ourselves. After our community lessons the last few days, I have found myself in hour-long conversations with Chipego, Mabel, and Grace. These were conversations of trust, where we let our walls down and I heard many details that I doubt have been shared with many. In each of these situations I had such a sense of surprise and gratefulness that someone would be trusting me, a “stranger” with this information. My lasting thought from this is that we were not really “strangers” at all, just humans connected, but yet to meet.
In the spirit of trust, here is a list of times that we have had to trust each other and “strangers” over the past few days:
- All of us at the dinner table screaming last night, trusting Jeff and James to get the bat out of the convent.
- Kamy and I trusting our motorcycle taxi driver to keep us alive on Saturday night, and Sloane and Sarah trusting in the same on Sunday morning.
- Trusting that our canoes would remain stable while crossing the Zambezi river.
- Trusting and truly experiencing life with our homestay families.
- Our sense of mutual trust between us and our community class members.
- The Zambezi Boarding English department trusting Caroline O., Becca and me assisting their classes even though we might be a… little… out of practice.
- Trusting each other with vulnerable conversations during reflection.
- Piper trusting children in the community to get her back to the convent safely.
- Prudence, a nurse at the hospital trusting Ellie to weigh newborns at the hospital and record their weights in official government documents.
- Kathleen trusting Mabel to provide a safe experience while taking her to braid her hair, and Mabel trusting Kathleen in her home.
While these are just a few experiences, beautiful things happen when we choose to see the good in one another and have a circle that invites all no matter the background. In Chipego’s (A student in the community English class) words, “We all have something to learn from one another and that’s what we need in this life.”
Mom and dad, I love you so much and can’t wait to share all these experiences with you. Thank you for your support and always pushing me to find joy and to step out of my comfort zone. There are no words to describe how blessed I feel to have had your influence all these years. Dad, I hope you had a great birthday and I’m looking forward to celebrating each of ours together when I am home. I am still living by your philosophy of, “Have a good time, try your best and do the right thing” and often find myself repeating it during the day. Mom, I miss talking and ranting with you about life and calling in the middle of the day. I so look forward to spending time with you when I get back. I love you guys.
Tyler, I miss you and I hope that you are having a good time with friends and family. I am so proud of you, your work ethic and connection with other people. I hope that you have a great graduation and celebrate a great accomplishment. Know I’m with you even from over here. All my love and can’t wait to see you soon <3
Summer, I hope you have a great time in Germany and I can’t wait to move into our house! Kori and Lauren, I miss you and am looking forward to summer adventures in Kansas City soon!
Alea Fowler
School of Education, Class of ‘27
CAn you say hello to Piper Krill from her Papa. I love you Piper, what an experience
Alea thank you for the amazing post, optimism in people far outweighs fear and doubt. I will follow Davids lead and add a chore to your day, please give Katy a hug and tell her Dad loves her and misses her.
Love Dad
Amen!!
I Trust that all of these experiences will not fade into memories but will be incorporated and activated. Sacred Circles are awesome but not everything. Look around, step outside, make sone room, run if a bat is flying around the kitchen table hahah – Again, what a gift to be sharing these moments!
Sending Love as You slow down and keep saying yes.
Michelle
Hi, Loosh! Dad and I cannot wait to see you in Franklin, TN We love you!
Miss and Love you
So, a bat joined your dinner party how lovely! I’m guessing that running outside wouldn’t have improved your situation either! I can’t believe you are already 1/2 way through your stay! Alea, I loved your blog thank you for posting! Katy my professional procrastinator will most likely leave me hanging until the last blog opportunity surfaces. I will assume, for now, she is GREAT!!! I miss you and your phone calls so I will be patient for TWO more weeks! I love you bug!!!
Alea – another insightful post – thank you for the reminder to be inclusive, vulnerable, and trusting. A bat at dinner time – I can hear the shrieks from Kathleen!
Inquiring minds want to know – did the toilet get fixed?
Hi Kathleen – still missing you like crazy and like the other parents I’ll work on being patient. I love you to the moon and back and pray for the safety of the Zag community daily.
Alea, when I first met you, your personal, professional, and educational accomplishments and skills impressed me greatly. Your mind is capable of learning and expressing incredible things, but it pales in comparison to your heart. I’ve spent seven months getting to know and love you, and this blog post perfectly encapsulates the power of your mind and heart. It was so beautifully written and clearly expresses the amazing heart of compassion and love that you have. I was so excited for you to get this opportunity in Zambia to be able to witness and experience another culture and way of life, but that sounds very surface level after reading your post. You have gone further than just witnessing or experiencing, you have immersed yourself into this community, and have come away with a profound revelation about how our world, and each society, should operate. To love people, and to seek understand those who live ‘differently’ from you, in order to create unity. I’m so excited to hear more of your beautiful thoughts when you come home. I’m so proud of you and I love you so much.
What a beautiful and moving reflection on trust! Thank you for sharing these detailed moments.
Caroline O., I love seeing your smile in these pictures! I can’t wait to hear more about the English class you taught.
wow! this has been on of my favourite reads. the things you guys are experiencing together will create such deep connections with eachother and the community all around you! i bet there have been challenges, homesickness, ect. but i know that you guys are all supporting eachother through it and that again will make the connections grow even stronger.
sending so much love to you katy snoopy.
love, norbit (hehe)
Alea,
Great blog! I love how you share your vulnerable and trusting moments so beautifully! I bet you, Caroline O., and Becca are doing an amazing job helping Andrew and Daniel in their English classes, even if you are out of practice! It shows others that you are human and you are learning with them. Tell Daniel and Andrew I say hi!
Ellie Powers, ZamFam ‘24
Wow, Alea. Beautiful storytelling and reflection. I am moved by the unending (and increasing) levels of welcome and connection you all continue to experience and describe. It seems those who meet in Zambezi only remain strangers for brief minutes before something shifts, something is shared. Isn’t this what we all long for? These gifts of welcome and belonging?
As you continue to take us on this journey with you, I find myself — my own heart — beginning to feel convicted (in a good way) … beginning to feel challenged about ways I may truncate or perhaps avoid welcoming/connecting with “strangers,” for whatever personal or socially sanctioned reason(s). The stories you are sharing also have me confronting how many opposite examples of “welcome” we see in our culture here at home — especially during this time when so many in power have risen to power specifically by focusing on ridiculing and banishing those who are different, those who have more newly arrived. Your stories have me wondering if Zambezi isn’t far more civilized than where we are, really.
A week ago, I rushed to this blog daily (hourly?!) motivated by one thing: my own selfish desire for a glimpse of our Mia. Proof of life. Words from her peers to help me picture her days or experiences or challenges. But I notice something shifting these last few days. I open my laptop to my “Zambezi” bookmark aware I’m sitting down for a sacred pause … now knowing I’m about to learn and feel something important. Reading your daily posts feelings like sitting in your classroom or your church (or a combo of the two). It’s a gift and Alea, today I thank you for yours. Thank you for taking the time and heart (all of you) to so richly describe, share and tell stories. They have the power to open minds and move hearts. xo
6:19 PM in Oakland. 3:19 AM in Zambezi.
xoxo,
Elisa (Mia’s mom)
1-2-3
P.S. Way to weigh that precious newborn, Ellie. AMAZING. xo
P.P.S. Bat in the convent!!!!
Alea!! So profound & beautifully written, reflective of the beauty inside you! I’m wondering, once you’re back if you wouldn’t mind sharing your experience with me, in person. I love what you have to say regarding trust! So good! ❤️
Alea – Thank you for sharing such a moving reflection. Your writing conveys both the humility and the profound insight that come with being open to transformation in unfamiliar spaces. The image of three women—strangers just hours before—sitting together to unbraid Eunice’s hair is a powerful testament to the kind of trust that can transcend background, culture, or familiarity. It’s rare to witness, let alone participate in, that kind of moment—and you honored it beautifully.
Thank you for your honesty, and for being part of something that so clearly holds meaning for more than just those who were present. The spirit of your experience, and the hope it carries, extends far beyond Zambia.
To My Sweet Caroline M,
Reading this blog—and knowing you’re part of these moments—fills my heart with joy. You’re in a place that is stretching your heart and shaping your soul, what a blessing.
I miss you dearly—not just your voice or your presence, but our rhythm: the midday calls, the silly texts, watching Joey, walking the little guy etc. But reading the blog reflection reminded me of something important—trust isn’t just about others. It’s also about trusting that the love between us holds strong across miles and moments. And it does. I feel it every day.
Please keep trusting your instincts, your heart, and the good in others—but be wise too. Open but aware, as your Alea so beautifully said. That’s how you’ve always been, and it’s part of what makes you such a beautiful person.
Love you, caught it!
~ Sarah (Caroline M’s Mom)
Alea, expressing yourself in heartfelt words has always been your strong suit. That’s why your mom and I have saved every card you have ever written us. They still touch our souls each time we read them. Thank you for sharing your words and the person you are with the world. As parents, we were certainly expecting this adventure to be educational and eye-opening regarding a sociological perspective. It is wonderful to know that psychologically and emotionally, every day is touching everyone on this trip in monumental ways…..an incredibly important time indeed!!!! Continue to have a good time. Try your best and do the right thing! Love you so.
You never cease to amaze me. I love that my son has found a woman with such a beautiful heart. Your blog brought tears to my eyes. This is an experience that you will always carry with you. I miss you and can’t wait to hear more when I see you in person .
Reading these blogs has made me pause and reflect on how I might embrace and put in my life the lessons you all are learning and challenging us to do. Your insights have been so uplifting and inspiring. I am amazed at the challenges you are facing (bugs! Bats! Broken toilets! And so much more!). You have made me proud to be a Zag Mom.
Becca, can’t wait to give you a big hug and hear all about the incredible things you have experienced. I love you and am so proud of you!
Alea! Loved this! I do soooo enjoy getting to read the latest and greatest happenings..: and also about the love and respect that is being exchanged daily between such vastly different, yet so incredibly similar cultures. We all yearn for the same basic things and it seems you are in such a fabulous place that really is reinforcing the most important human attributes! Loved imagining you guys helping with Eunice’s hair, loved your pic ( and selfishly seeing our girl:)), loved the idea of Ellie getting to weigh newborns(!!!) , loved Chipego’s words to live by… did NOT love the idea of a bat flying around in the convent, lol:)…I can picture Weenie’s screams:).
I am so proud of each of you for pouring your hearts into each of these blog posts! I continue to be amazed at each of your presentation skills!
Weenie… I wish I could say it’s getting easier, but it’s getting harder. I find a lump in my throat as I open the blog I miss you so! That being said, I’m just so proud of you for experiencing the trip of lifetime with people who will forever have an impact on your life. Miiiiiiiissss you. I will be attached to your hip for the rest of the summer, so let’s just prep ourselves for that, k?? Love you honey.
Another great painting into the experience all of you are having. Love seeing my son in pictures can’t wait to learn the reason for the buzz cut.
Keep exploring the vast depths of your souls on this trip, it is amazing to read the insights.
What a well written post Alea. Surrendering your uncertainty and leaning into each and every opportunity to trust those around you is creating life long memories and lasting relationships. Your specific examples were so uplifting and occasionally not so much (bats…no thank you!). Above all you inspired me to look “outside of the circle” so that I don’t miss an opportunity to connect with others in unique ways.
Sending lots of hugs to my sweet girl! I can’t wait to hear about the connections you are making!
Kamy and Alea, Thank you both for your beautiful, thoughtful blog posts!
Kamy, your challenge to let others see our vulnerability really hit home and seems especially important these days when often all we see of each others’ lives are shiny social media posts.
Alea, I loved your reflection on the circle of compassion and the value of seeing things from the perspective of an outsider being welcomed in. The experiences and insights you all have had in the span of a couple of weeks are nothing short of amazing!
Very best wishes and continuing prayers for the second half of your trip!
Love you, Cate!!
Alea, what a thoughtful entry. Your description of the situation was so real — I felt that I was right there with you and Kamy and Eunice as you cut and unbraided Eunice’s hair. Yes, Trust — and the accompanying Vulnerability (thank you also Kamy for the previous insightful entry!) — being able to have and share these makes this such a life-changing experience for you all. You Zags have left your US families, friends, summer time and the comforts of home to experience life in a culture completely unknown by most of you. And the Zambians have literally opened their homes to you (Welcomeness!) as well as their hearts and minds, culture and traditions. In the spirit of true accompaniment, you are living and learning together.
Alea, I was struck by your phrase that we are “not really “strangers” at all, just humans connected, but yet to meet.” Wow — what if we all approached the next unfamiliar-to-us-human with this attitude? Having an already assumed connection to them, for humanity’s sake — how different might the outcome of our encounters be??
Truly, a life-altering experience that you are all creating together. Thank you for sharing your perspectives with us and bringing us along on your journey.
Sean, STMS Baccalaureate was Saturday and Graduation this Thursday. Crazy how quickly we orbit the sun…. this is your Kindergarten buddy class!!
Miss being able to text you whenever, and can’t wait to hear all of your stories! Big hugs!
Alea: I am just catching up on these posts and your thoughtful words about what you all must be experiencing really stood out “This trip has taught me to see the good and to let go of control, simply allowing myself to trust.” I can only imagine when you all started this trip together that there would be many unknowns about the community, culture and how they might perceive and accept you all… and how little “control” any of you would have over the experience. It’s an amazing insight to realize the “trust” you have gained in a short time from Eunice and those you have interacted with. Also glad the canoe’s held up for Sean, Cate and Alea!
To my kiddo, Caroline M: I hope you doing well and its amazing to see the experiences you are all having in Zambezi! I am thankful for your Zags taking good care of each other! I miss you so much and can’t wait to see you. Seanie says hi too! Love you… from I win!
Brian (Caroline M’s dad)
This is so awesome, reading each one of your adventures and hearing through a different voice each time, it’s like we can see the experience through your words.
The theme that keeps coming up is trust. In all of the blogs you hear it. It sounds like it is becoming a skill set, of you when you need to apply it and when you need help to bring it into light and acknowledge it.
In sales you have something called “touches” it’s where you make a connection with the person your working with. Kathleen, I know you were probably excited to have Mabel to braid your hair. That is where you shine in doing a “touch”. Creating trust and making them feel your trust.
love you and miss you,
Dad
Alea, what a life changing experience for you! I’m so proud of you and impressed as all get out that you’re doing this! Not only trying a bungie jump but a figurative one as well!
Love, Auntie Rose
What an amazing experience for you. You’re such a wonderful young lady and we’re proud to call you family. Savor every minute of your time in Zambia. We look forward hearing about your travels. All our love.
Uncle Bob and Aunt Rebecca
Letting go of control…finding the right people to trust, trusting your instincts! such great specific experiences that will be so relevant the rest of your lives! The kindness, generosity and community you are experiencing is so unique. Its hard to explain all the different concepts and feelings but you all are doing an amazing job with this blog! Way to go Zags. All the best to you all. Lots of love from sunny Portland!