From a young age, I have always craved a sense of control. Hiding in my comfort zone was the easiest way to do this, as it was familiar and reliable. While I have grown increasingly aware of how this pattern limits my life, I still struggle with confronting the unknown. If you don’t know me, my name is Natalie, or as many of my teachers have called me: the girl with many questions. Although I am naturally curious, my wonders go beyond what is rational, often causing me unnecessary anxiety. Coming to Zambia, I knew this would be a challenge, which was both terrifying and also the reason I wanted to go. I knew that I needed an extreme change in order to fully confront this ongoing pattern of resistance. As my parents have always told me, “When we leave our comfort zone, it expands.” This has become especially relevant while in Zambia, which is full of change, the uncomfortable and the unknown. No matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, this is when we grow as humans. If we were always comfortable and in control, we would never change. When we push ourselves not only to leave our comfort zone, but stay outside of it, we begin to harness our potential.
Knowing all this, I still struggle with retreating back to my comfort zone when things become “too much.” However, no matter how much I try to convince myself that staying in the familiar is the only safe place, I am often proven otherwise. On this trip in particular, these beliefs have been consistently challenged. For example, when I roomed with Cate, Becca, Kamy, Sarah and Caroline O, the fear that I wouldn’t make any friends on this trip so I shouldn’t try was quickly disproven. When I jumped off a bridge with Sarah by my side, starting a conversation with a stranger no longer sparked panic. While in Zambia, I have collected evidence that little things don’t seem as scary anymore when one’s circle expands and put these small moments into perspective. This has also helped me realize that eventually it becomes more frightening to remain timid rather than trying new things, breaking the illusion of safety within our barriers.
However, I’ve also recently learned that it’s necessary to recognize and advocate for yourself when you need to take a breath. Sometimes if you don’t allow yourself to reset, all of the change can quickly become overwhelming and make you feel like an imposter. I realized the significance of this when Lucia and Carly walked back early with me after the canoe rides, when I unexpectedly broke down in tears, unable to pinpoint what was “wrong.” After I calmed down, I was able to more clearly recognize that I hadn’t taken any time to process all of the change that was happening. With all of these new experiences, I was scared that if I stopped even for a second, I would become stuck in my comfort zone and stop growing. While it’s important to push yourself, it’s also vital to take a step back once in a while. My classmates, now friends, and members of this community have all helped me begin to understand that we can’t fully absorb the change we are experiencing if we avoid reflection. Zambians especially value connection and taking the time to enjoy things, challenging my habits of rushing through this stage.
This reminds me of the Zone of Proximal Development, a theory developed by Vygotsky that we learned about in my education classes. This is the zone between what we are capable of doing on our own vs. what we need help with, often utilized in educational settings. This theory has become especially relevant during my time in Zambia and helps prove to me through research and evidence, that we aren’t supposed to feel comfortable all the time. Here, the community is my classroom and my Zone is the space between the familiar and unknown. I have realized that I must challenge both my students and myself to continually strive for this Zone. This is where change happens. This is where it begins.
At home, I often find myself stuck between this all-or-nothing mindset. I’m scared that if I take time to rest, I’ll never get up again. Simultaneously, if I keep trying to experience everything, I won’t truly understand the significance and quickly become overwhelmed. My time in Zambia is continuing to help me find a balance between these two extremes. Piper and Sean have shown me that there are always ways to help out in our space. Becca, Cate and Caroline O prove to me that I will have people to lean on when I need support. Sarah and Katy are always there to listen when I need to express my thoughts and worries late at night. Kamy helps me to try to find the positive in every situation. Caroline M and Taylor remind me to get out of my head when playing, “Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza.” Kathleen and Carly provide a safe space to ask questions and spark curiosity. Lucia, Jeff and James remind me the importance of showing up for each other, our community and ourselves. Sloane and Alea exemplify excitement for learning that inspires me to do the same. Ellie and Mia help me find laughter in new experiences and embrace the unknown. I will never be able to do everything at once, but I also want to challenge myself to grow through the uncomfortable. I am starting to find more comfort in the unknown, not quite in my comfort zone, but a new, undiscovered area which pushes me not only to discover new potential, but harness it.
To my family, thank you for always pushing me to do things outside of my comfort zone and supporting me through new experiences.
To my friends and roommates, thank you for listening and being there for me while I navigate these different zones.
Taylor, happy (almost) birthday! I know it’s not for a few days but wanted to wish you a happy 20th until I can again in person. I love you so much and can’t wait to tell you about the giraffes.
I can’t wait to see you all soon. Please keep commenting when you can, love being surprised when your names pop up😊
Natalie Popma
School of Education, Class of ‘27
Oh I’m so happy this morning to finally get to read your post, my sweet Natalie! I’ve been anxiously waiting for your comments and am so profoundly moved by your honesty and reflections about your experience. I knew this experience would be challenging for you, but your desire to understand yourself and others is truly a gift that will guide you through difficult times. I know and have witnessed the depth of your anxious thoughts, so to see your determination NOT to let these thoughts prevent you from adventurous endeavors, is a strength rising within you that is shining through and brings tears to my eyes. I am really in awe of your choice to challenge your anxiety and I hope that you see this strength and determination within you too. It doesn’t mean that the anxiety will go away, but I can see that you are doing the work to loosen its hold on you and learning new ways to cope. It’s hard work for sure, and as you are learning, it’s got ups and downs and requires listening to your internal voice. But you are doing it!! How amazing is that for you that you are putting yourself out there, when I know that sometimes it’s so much easier not to. I know that you are learning so much about yourself, others and getting a new life changing perspective. Keep asking questions even when people think you ask to many – you are curious and want to understand others and this is a gift. You are brave, kind, curious, creative, thoughtful, generous, honest and bring so much joy to my life. I love and miss you dearly and am counting down the days until you are back home. I can’t wait for our snuggle time on the couch with the dogs – I’ll have a nice fresh pack of popcorn and lots of Yumm Sauce waiting for you when you are home. I love you so much, Mom:-)
Natalie, what a truly beautiful post. As someone who has been working through my own anxiety, I really admire the way you’re facing yours with such openness and intention. It’s not easy to confront the more vulnerable parts of ourselves, and many go their whole lives without ever doing so. It’s inspiring to see how you’re deepening your relationships, expanding your perspective, and giving yourself the time and space to grow. Your curiosity and compassion for others shine through. Wishing you continued strength, insight, and joy on this incredible journey. Keep being curious and investing in yourself. Much love.
Thanks Natalie, very interesting. Hello to Piper Krill my granddaughter. Papa Krill
Ahh, Natalie! I admire your personal reflection and insight so early in your adulthood. Although the support and guidance from your amazing parents helped get you to Zambia, it’s YOU who continues to challenge yourself on this trip each day. I’m glad you’re taking some time to recharge your energy as well. We all need that. Love you, girl!
Nat,
Well said! Remember the beauty and richness of life is in the meaning we give to the places and the people we are with. A school is just a school until you give it meaning, a city is just a city until you give it meaning, a friendship is not one until you give it meani g and with this experience you are truly giving it meaning! You go! Mac, Tyson and Wendy say hi. We love you.. Philly
Thank you Natalie and all for sharing your reflections, pictures, and experiences. I look forward each day to reading them!
Thinking of you Sarah and hope you are doing well! Sending so much love your way!
What a joy to read your post, Natalie! It is an inspiration to everyone dealing with anxiety and probably to everyone else too! I will be thinking all day about your thoughts on balancing challenging oneself and soaking it all in. What an incredible experience for you, and you are clearly squeezing every drop of fun, learning and community out of it – I cant wait to see you in July! Aunt Anne
I was just thinking about you yesterday and then your mom forwarded your post! Wonderful to hear about your adventures, growth and self awareness! I wish I was there under the African sun myself.
It sounds like you’re surrounded by amazing people. My experience is that people make all the difference. Keep leaning into your people. Keep learning about the world and yourself.
I can’t wait to catch up in person!
Natalie, this was so beautifully written. It made my day to see your face and hear how you’re doing. I’m so proud of you for not only pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, but also for having the self-awareness to pause, reflect, and be kind to yourself in the process. You’re showing so much courage by embracing both growth and vulnerability, and it’s inspiring to witness from afar. I can’t wait to hear more stories (and giraffe updates!) when you’re back. Thank you for the birthday shoutout you are so kind and thoughtful. I’ve been missing you a lot lately!! Love you and stay strong! You’re doing amazing.
Love, Taylor
I am so happy to see you leaning into your experiences in Zambia! I have no doubt that when I see you again you will be changed from the young woman I have known and loved for your whole life. New horizons and new adventures await!
Far mor.
What a lovely post, Natalie. I a reminded of a recent conversation about living Vertically and/or Horizontally (often getting stuck in one). Thanks for the reminder that friends and faith are at our disposal and along for the wonderful ride. You have captured the essence of the group well and for that I think you too.
Michelle
OMG, Nat! I am so proud of you! I love this post and love this experience for you! I cannot wait to see pictures and hear all the stories! Good job confronting those situations that cause you discomfort, lean in! I also love that you recognize your need to take some time to process and decompress. Keep learning new things and pushing while caring for yourself! Love you girl!
Your parents advice that your comfort zone expands every time you go outside it is a wonderful perspective and seems to be guiding you and all of your Zags on this trip. I can only imagine how ALL of you must feel getting outside tour comfort zone in one way or another on this amazing trip. You ALL should heed such great advice
Caroline – Sean and I are currently in Kinsale after being in Waterville this morning for golf. We’ve been lucky with the weather and it was a beautiful sunny day here in Ireland. We hit a pub tonight and Seanie was gifted a set of Murphy’s pint glasses by the bartender. Im sure they’ll find their way to his new apartment in SLC. We miss you tons and hope you are having the tine of your life! (Love you, shaka, rock on, I win! ❤️)
Great reflection, Natalie! Recognizing that things are uncomfortable and out of your comfort zone and pushing through is amazing and this trip was probably that for so many of you! Kudos to embracing the feelings and learning that time is needed to decompress! You guys have created such a supportive community for one another in such a short period of time!
Ween, I miss you! We all miss you! Pretty sure my patients miss you too given how much I’ve talked about you being gone, lol. The doggies are sleeping in your bed each night, they miss you so! Excited to see your gorgeous face in a picture! Lulu is here w me and she says hi and she misses you too! We are counting down the days till you’re home! Love you honey.
Natalie – What a beautiful reflection on growth, courage, and self-awareness. I really appreciate how you’ve captured the tension between stepping out of your comfort zone and knowing when to pause and reflect. It’s powerful to see how your experiences—and the people around you—are helping you reshape your understanding of what it means to be brave. I also love your call-out to each of your Zag family members.
Caroline – today Jack and I saw a small jack rabbit in our yard. The jack rabbit playfully hopped around in Jack’s view for quite a while. He went nuts! It was typical Jack shenanigans and reminded of the time with the toy bunny! I’ve been missing you extra today and praying you continue to do well – lean on your peers, lean in to the experience and let others lean on you. Love you so much. Be the best you can be today and let God do the rest.
Natalie, I am so proud of you for stepping outside of your comfort zone and going on this journey. It’s very admirable because as you know, I could not do it myself. I am truly in awe of the person you are and the person you’re becoming. I miss you so much and I’m so excited that you’re meeting people who are able to be a good support system and be for you when you do feel overwhelmed. Can’t wait to see you seen and hear all about it; from what I’ve seen it looks like a blast. Love you!
That Vygotsky dude knows what he’s talking about! The Zone of Proximal Development is real and so is the struggle when you venture into it. I like how you’re applying that theory to what you’re experiencing and to the abstract concepts of the familiar versus the unknown. You’re definitely leaning more towards the the unknown versus the familiar on this African adventure. I know that can be uncomfortable but you will grow as a result. Sounds like you already are.
I’m proud of you for going on this journey – both physically and emotionally. You are venturing far away from home in both aspects. Keep carrying on but don’t be afraid of slowing down once in a while and being in the moment. After being there for a while now, you may even find that some things that were previously unknown are now looking more familiar. Take a moment to appreciate that new familiarity.
We miss you and can’t wait to see you again.
I love you!
Dad
Hi Natalie! What an inspiring post! Your honest reflection normalized what it looks like to step outside your comfort zone and use the resulting challenges to reflect and grow. Your willingness to share how you have paused, reflected, and then actively chosen a path of challenge inspires us all to do the same. Your students are lucky to have a teacher who strives to learn by confronting the unfamiliar!
Taylor- Dad did his annual backflip into the pool today, but don’t worry I’m saving my back dive until you get home. Missing you but also love sharing you with the world.
Keep living and loving big so you can tell us all about it!
Natalie,
Thank you for sharing this with us! I remember feeling this way at times and your words brought me back to those moments. Your words have reminded me that going into the unknown helps us harness our potential, no matter what you are going through in life! I’m glad that you are also taking time to step back and recharge! There were plenty of times when I cried out of nowhere and there was so much to process! Luckily, Lucia has this magic presence of being there for you and she is the best! (Hi Loosh!) keep growing and reflecting! You are doing amazing!:)
Ellie Powers, ZamFam ‘24
Natalie, thank you for this share. It’s so personal … and so relatable. I so relate to the fears that can create that “all or nothing” mindset and I’m so so glad you took the leap to go to Zambezi (cuz, um … that’s a HUGE leap) ANNNND I’m really glad you’re also valuing the need to pull over, rest, recharge … beginning to trust that pulling over at a rest stop doesn’t mean the trip is over. It just means you need the rest. Be good to you and keep exploring the tension between doing all-the-things and doing-no-things. It’s a big continuum, we all have different needs for solitude, recharging and processing. Be gentle with you as you explore all this. You are doing so in super intense (and beautiful) circumstances!
Mia, I am so late to this blog today and I hate that I wasn’t able to read and comment until way past your wake-up time. REASON: Bennett graduated Black Pine Circle today and it was absolutely beautiful!!!! How far they’ve come. We all missed you much but you *know* I already made that two-minute iMovie montage of it all for you (and the Facebooks, ofc). We went out to Zut! to celebrate after and toasted you, too. Last we “heard” word directly from you was the day your bush planes touched down on the air strip in Zambezi. Feels like a lifetime ago. You are on my heart! I hope you are being gentle with yourself, too, and letting yourself do and feel all that comes up. Know you are loved so so much. Love, your Mama.
12:47 AM in Oakland (Zzzzzzzz). 9:47 AM in Zambezi.
xoxo, Elisa
This really hit home, Natalie. It’s awesome that you pushed yourself to do something as big as going to Zambia—seriously brave. I love what your parents said about your comfort zone expanding when you leave it. That’s such a great way to look at it. Thanks for sharing your very personal experience—it’s super inspiring!
Can’t wait to see you Caroline O! I miss your voice so very much. It sounds like you are having the time of your life although It’s clearly challenging. I hope you are journaling so we can relive this moments with you when you’re back.
Nat,
Your honesty also moved me. Many people never gain insight into themselves, as you are experiencing now.
Look around, soak it in because soon you will be back in your comfort zone and you don’t want to leave that newfound strength behind.
Love you.
Papa
I feel that one Natalie. It is so easy to repeat what is comfortable. I am so impressed by all of you and the extent to which you have to leave your comfort zone on this trip. Thank you for sharing.
Ellie, Sorry I missed a couple of days. I was dying reading the blog post about you handling and weighing the newborns. In my visual of you holding the newborn you are very tearful. I can’t wait to hear all of your stories. I miss you dearly. So proud of you and all that you are you doing always. Love ya.
Thank you for including these great pictures in your post! Love seeing those smiles, especially on my sweet girl’s face! Love ya Carly!
Well said and inspiring! You comfort zone will probably be unrecognizable you get home. And never stop asking questions!
“When we leave our comfort zone, it expands.” Nat, that statement resonated with me. It’s not easy being BRAVE. Your trip seems life changing and the memories will be forever. What a cool and unique opportunity to show your fellow classmates how kind you are and your willingness to show your vulnerabilities. Looking forward to hearing more about your experiences on this trip. Go NAT!
Natalie- Mike and I just read your blog post and feel very inspired by the adventures you are experiencing as well as the insight you are gaining into yourself!
We are excited for you and your new found friendships, that I am sure will be life long with many of the new people you have met while experiencing what truly sounds amazing. We would love to see the pictures and hear all about your travel soon.
Love,
A. Tracey & U. Mike
Hello Natalie,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your incredible journey. For the record, I have always seen you as brave. You showed kindness, acceptance, and bravery as you supported our daughter Sophie when she felt vulnerable at summer camp, blender dash, and many other activities. You provided security, acted as an advocate, and asked questions when needed. You are a joy! Plus, your tik tok dances with Sophie were adorable! I can hear in your post, that you continue focus on growth and learning how to support your own natural gifts. I believe this will always serve you well. Keep up the good work and I look forward to hearing more and seeing you this summer.
Love, Jami
So happy for you Natalie, that you get to experience life so fully! So proud of your bravery, curiosity and openness to share all you’ve learned! You create a positive impact and encourage others to learn and grow too.