I did marching band for years in high school, and we often talked about our balance point in marching. You must find your balance point, before you are able to move on to more complex techniques. I’ve learned that that is very similar to life. You must remember to go back to the basics before you are able to deal with and try more complex things. Going on this trip, I didn’t really know what to expect. Family and friends would ask me what I was looking forward to most on this trip, and I honestly didn’t have an answer, as I didn’t know what to expect. I had seen photos of Zambezi from years past and knew some of the stereotypes about Africa but didn’t know anything else. However, what I didn’t expect was how some of my stereotypes would play out, as well as how I would experience stereotypes related to being an American in Zambia.
Being a white, middle-class female from the Seattle area, I’ve never been in the minority. There have always been people who look like me, speak the same languages as me, and have had similar life experiences to me. Being in Zambia, I have experienced a feeling I’ve never felt before. Meeting Zambians has been fantastic, but after each interaction, I am left with lingering thoughts. They ask me where I am from, and I respond with America. I have been met with varying responses. Some of these include, “Please bring me back to America so I can have a better life” to “I love Americans, so I will give you a discount” to “If you give me money, I can provide for my family,” and these interactions have left me torn.
Although we are in the minority here, it is a different type of minority than being in the minority in the United States. We are seen as powerful, and wealthy. This means that although we are just here to learn and work on our teaching skills, we are idolized just for being from America. Coming on this trip, we knew that this was not a mission trip in the slightest. However, some of the people that I have interacted with have almost expected us to be on a mission, and in some ways, they expect us to save them. This feeling has left me feeling icky, and I have had to balance the feelings of guilt, alongside a lot of confusion.
I’ve had this recurring thought and issue of balancing throughout my time in Zambia. Whether balancing emotions, or balancing physically, the theme is constantly occurring. When we first landed in Lusaka, one of my first thoughts was, “Woah! The women balance things on their head! I thought that was just a stereotype.” However, along this journey, I have learned that this is not a stereotype, but rather a way of transportation, culture, and truly a science. After seeing this practice daily, I’ve grown a huge deal of respect for this aspect of the culture.
When visiting the market, we see a variety of people, and they all have different thoughts about Americans. For example, when buying chitenge at the market, they upcharge us, as they know we can afford it. While still extremely affordable to us, it’s interesting to see how much of a difference in price there is simply based on racial or national identity (usually Zambians pay about 35 Kwacha for cotton, while I paid 75 Kwacha for it). These mental balances of being seen as wealthy because I don’t look like the people here leave me with a sense of shame. Throughout this trip, we’ve had to adapt to various physical balances as well. Some of these include balancing our bags on the bush planes, balancing ingredients when cooking meals, and balancing on the edge before making the choice to jump off a bridge or glide along a zipline. No matter the day or the challenges, the theme of balance keeps occurring in various forms.
Our time in Zambezi has already been nothing short of complex, but I know I have my fellow group of Zags to remind me of the basics. They remind me to be present in the moment, to make time for conversation, and to allow room to make mistakes and grow. I hope to continue to try more complex things during my time in Zambezi, knowing that I have this group to fall back on to help me balance the challenges, moments of growth, and the discomforts.
With lots of love,
Katie Gilkinson
Zam Fam 2026
Gonzaga Class of 2028
Notes to my friends and family:
Mom-I miss you so much and I can’t wait to share pictures with you and tell you funny stories. I miss our impromptu chats, and sending random pictures of the dogs, or random things I see. I’ve found joy in experiencing the markets and know you would have had so much fun in the markets as well. I’m excited to give you a big hug when I see you at the airport. I have been well fed here, so don’t worry about that! Give Karen and my puppies a big kiss for me (especially Dukey…)
Berto: I hope you had a great birthday. I got to fly the bush plane for about 15 minutes on our way to Zambezi (it was a Cessna 210). Your YouTube videos ACTUALLY came in handy (who would have thought…), and I liked being able to know what different buttons meant. Also-thank you for putting my car on the trickle charger!
To any other family and friends reading this post: Thank you for following along! I’m super excited to share stories and pictures when I get back. I miss being able to talk to everyone frequently, but I know that you all are doing great!
Sam, Sinner lost today. He was up 2-0 in sets and then was up 5-1 in the third set and got a cramp and lost that set 5-7 and the next two 1-6 :(((((((((. I am sorry to break this tragic news to you. Shelton, Navarro, and Rybakina are out as well. Anders lost his water bottle again?? I think it’s like the fourth one he’s lost since coming home or something. I miss you! Stay safe out there!
Lily, I’m doing an instagram detox and I miss lida bida boda butt so much. I crave the reels. I miss you!! PS, I am so excited for your blog post whenever it comes!!
Katie, everything you said is sticking with me. My thoughts surrounding the up charge for chitenge always changed — sometimes I was frustrated and sometimes I was grateful I could use my privilege to support Zambezi’s economy… and then would feel guilty (maybe that’s not the right word?) because I didn’t want it to feel like charity. Just one of the many complexities that I have yet to figure out.
MP and Isa, I got Chick-fil-A today and was brought back to our breakfast adventure! I miss you both and can’t wait to reconnect.
Lily, I know you’re a big Harry Styles fan (same girl, Jeff don’t roll your eyes) so thought I would keep you in the loop — yesterday, his Instagram account was deleted and everyone freaked out (yes me too). Anyways, you’ll be glad to know it’s back up per usual so all is well!
Random but have you guys gotten to try fried okra? Hoping so, it’s delishhhh!
Love,
Weenie
2:24pm in California, 11:24pm in Zambia
CAROLINE I ALSO GOT CHICK TODAY
Katie Kat – beautifully written! You have been very fortunate in your life to never want for much of anything, and you have never been in the minority. This is such a good experience for you and feeling uncomfortable is one of those things that help us grow as human beings. Keep trying new things. Push yourself out of your comfort zone as much as possible. I can’t wait to see you and smooch your face! I love you so very much!
Such a great post Katie. I love the balance point concept. It makes perfect sense that concept is serving you well now. I have found that growth happens when life is disrupted and feels off balance. Stepping back to basics helps us find our bearings and navigate new experiences.
Kathryn, I heard a dad joke yesterday and of course it made me think of you! Missing your quick humor and hoping you are sharing it with your ZamFam! Jack is home for a quick visit. He rolled into town late last night. Heidi graduated from 8th grade yesterday!
I really appreciate these blogs each day. You serve up personally grounded but universal ideas that help make meaning of your experience and resonate back home with us. In other words, y’all are DEEP and I dig it! Katie, today’s theme of balance has me thinking about how yoga has taught me more about balance – physically and emotionally. Some days I get it and other days I don’t. And as my teacher says, ‘if you fall out just jump back in’.
Graley, sending love straight at you! I don’t spend time worrying about you because you are so amazingly grounded and competent. I do miss you and miss all the small casual FaceTime chats together. It’s just plain weird not knowing more about your day to day. These blog entries are helping me be patient and I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks. Can someone please give Graley a hug for me in the meantime?
Katie–Finding balance is something you will always come back to. I’m not sure there ever is a moment of perfection… at least not for me. I am always “finding my edge” and falling (whether skiing, or pilates, leading a meeting, or speaking in front of strangers).
Sarah I love you so very much. You are the sassiest Pickle. I scan each blog photo for you, my beauty!!! xoxo momma
I am really enjoying reading these posts. We are experiencing issues with posting replies, however, so I am posting this reply as a test. We love you Noah!
We are really enjoying reading these posts. We have been experiencing issues with posting replies, however, so we are posting this reply as a test. We love you Noah! Looks like you are having an amazing time.
Katie – What a thoughtful essay – especially the feeling icky / processing others assumptions about you. It got me thinking about what it means to show up as yourself in a culture that is total foreign from your own. I generally think of that (showing up as myself) as a positive thing- being grounded, not letting need for external validation push you in a direction you wouldn’t otherwise go. As you wrote I really don’t know how you balance that w/ being present in a culture that isn’t your own.
Ems – I had an “exciting” day in online meetings all day so not much to report here. Although – I sent your blog post on to Britt, and she loved it and commented on it (after you would have read through comments this AM)! Miss you – keep absorbing all the things and journaling so you can share when you are back. Xoxo-mums
Wow what insight and self reflection. Brings me back almost to the exact same thoughts and feelings I had during my service trip in Africa. Thanks so much for the careful thoughtful blog.
Miss you so much Olivia!!!
Love the picture!!!
Testing the firewall I’ve been hitting before I write 🙂
Okay! Awesome! It worked! YAY!
Kaite-Oh my gosh..this was such a great post to read. Super real and gave me a true sense of the feelings of being there. This was all very fascinating to read about and put myself in your shoes. What an experience and a different perspective. I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of each and every one of you for taking the plunge into all things new by being there. Also..glad you were watching your back for the crocodiles during sunset! What an experience! Thank you for letting us in to this aspect of being there.
Liv-I am missing you SO much! I can’t wait for you to tell me about your days there. These blog posts make me feel connected to you, because I know you are having so many shared experiences. Kale and I have been in touch here and there and getting excited for the portal and seeing how things pan out. You know what he just texted me? I sent him the picture from this post and he said “She’s the cutest person ever” Awwww!! Anyhow..We’re supposed to have a big storm here this evening and we’re buckling down the hatches! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! God loves you.
Hi, Morgie. Thanks for the proof-of-life text and ego boost. We haven’t seen pictures of you in a while or been able to read your words yet, so it’s good to know that you are in fact still breathing.
Are you journaling? Are you recording what you are eating everyday? How is the convent, the water, the bed? How are you sleeping? What are you thinking?
If you haven’t already, I suggest keeping a small log of daily thoughts, moments, or feelings. That way, when you’re back you can catch us up, even with the memories you’ll eventually forget.
Love and miss you. I’ll be in SF in 3 days and will start scoping out spots to take you and the family for when you guys come up.
Love that you’re still smiling. But I get the shocking realization that, as Americans, you won the birth lottery. And how do you balance that with people who dream about what you have? And it’s unsettling how they see you. So, are you seeing them? What can you learn — what do they have that you don’t?
Love this!
I love reading these blogs and imagining the memories you’re making.
Miss you Liv and planning a “Africa story party” for when you come home!
Sending love your way.
Cheryl (Liv’s Nana)
Oooh I love the “Africa story party” idea!!
Katie, once again your post had hit home. Your detail and vulnerability are so appreciated. Thank you for sharing. I hope your time is filled with more wonderful balancing activities.
Lily day 1 of the series has been fun. Miss watching Jordy Frahm with you sitting next to me. Nebraska vs Arkansas on now. I also am sorry I am not up on the “Harry knowledge” I will try and be better. Grandma and Grandpa say hi. Love you always and forever.
Noah’s birthday is on June 3rd. We have been having trouble posting on this blog. If we still have problems by then, we want to wish Noah a very happy birthday. We love you Noah!
Katie, you spoke so clearly and honestly about the balancing act that is this experience. The guilt, confusion, and assumptions are all part of what makes this trip complicated, and I am impressed by how you lean into that, even if left with varying thoughts and few conclusions. Keep relying on each other to, as you said, bring you back to the basics and keep you balanced as you continue to navigate the complexity and discomfort!
Hi Morgie,
Glad we are able to post again. Like Miya, I wondered if you have had an opportunity to journal about your experiences. We can always make something when you return. We miss you Morgie! Lots of love sweetie! Grandma
[firewall issues / sorry for late post]
Hey Hannah, that was a really nice reflection. It seems like you are having a good time there, which makes me so happy, because I know you were nervous to step into such a different world halfway across the Earth. Timmy and I are finally officially on summer vacation and it feels strange to not have you here with your calm, fun presence in a house that can be stressful and chaotic at times. I love you so so much and I really hope you continue to enjoy your time there and hopefully come back with some new language skills, you are so adventurous!
Love Abe,
PS: Maria is now king of the Greek Lemers, but I’ll spare you the long story that accompanies that.
Katie G,
I liked how you connected physical balance to the emotional balancing of discomfort, privilege, learning, and growth. It’s clear that this experience is challenging assumptions and helping you see both yourself and others from a new perspective. Well done.
Kathryn,
Lila took her driving test today and PASSED! Lookout. We have a new driver in the family. Charlie and Noah leave for their first lacrosse tournament tomorrow AM. Jack is heading to Cal Poly with Fletch tomorrow. Jess and Jacob are coming up for the weekend. And the dogs and Steve were hanging out in your room again. Lots going on this weekend.
I hope your having fun!
Such a great reflection, Katie, and curiosity is so powerful! Thank you for sharing your perspective and observations.
MP, Hailey Van Lith was waived again from the Suns today, and Azzi started for the first time, scoring 22 points (and they won against Aces!)
Lots of love!
Another great post–thank you all for these deep shares!
Sam–A few words of wisdom. “It’s popcorn o’clock”. “I need a bigger coffee cup.” “Nobody’s talking to me; I’m going up”. These words and more will be here when you get back! Love ya!
Katie, this was such a thoughtful reflection, and I really think balance is so important!
Isa, for rose, bud, thorn today, my rose was meeting Lily’s new cavalier puppy, he’s so tiny! OH and Role Model just announced a new album, and Gracie Abrams announced a tour for later this year and next year! (In case anyone likes either of them) My thorn was someone clogged the toilet at work today…but my bud is tomorrow is my day off 🙂 Okay, last but not least, the question of the day today is “What is your favorite time of day and why?”
Love and miss you!
Katie, this balancing act feels all too real and is a constant experience in Zambia. I am so impressed by how in touch you are with the complicated feelings you have been experiencing. Remember that it’s okay to “fall” and feel unbalanced at times as well. It’s okay to be confused, frustrated, unsure, sad, etc.
MP: did you know that tofurky is from Hood River? Found that out today after taking an accidental 40 minute detour on our roadtrip. On the bright side, we also drove through Dufur, saw a 20 MPH sign, and hiked Smith Rock. Now I’m at Taylor’s house in Bend for the night!
Taylor: I need some golf advice, so please remind me to ask you when you get back. Miss you so much!
Love,
Caroline
ZamFam ‘25
I am so grateful to see all the experiences that everyone’s writing about and the humility of the community sharing their life, perspectives culture, and customs. This will be an experience that you all get to share for a lifetime with all of your families. I appreciate the protection from the alligators as especially!
Morgan, you are incredibly missed. I had a chance to do a memorial garden for our beloved Memphis. I can’t wait till you see it continue to smile and share your dimples with the world. We love you.
Katie, thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. I can imagine this trip will be life changing for most of you.
Your writing brought me back to the first time I travelled out of the country to Thailand. I was in my early 20’s, Caucasian blonde hair American I was definitely in the minority. I experienced similar feelings and emotions that you expressed in your post.
Thank you so much for posting the picture.
I love seeing all the smiling faces and the beautiful sunset!
Lauryn: I am so happy, I got my “proof of life” photo!! I can’t wait to give you a big hug when you come home. I sure have missed your daily updates and am looking forward to you coming home and having one of our coffee dates!
Things have been busy here, planning for Kiki’s graduation. Can’t believe it’s only 15 days away! Love you so much!
Katie Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feeling on the people you are working with and dealing with You are learning so much Lily so nice to see your smiling face and hope you are enjoying the food Think of you often
Katie – thanks for your post! So grateful that we are kept updated on the groups activities and how the experiences are shaping you all. While reading your post, I had an image of Americans transporting their belonging on our heads which made me chuckle. I spent some time in Tanzania and it seemed like such a remarkable feat to me that the women seemed to pull off effortlessly.
Hi Katie-thank you for your post and insightful thoughts about balancing–and not just things on our head! It’s interesting to think about being the minority somewhere and what that would feel like. Sadly, being a minority often does not feel great and the idea of being idolized–it kinda icks me out too. I think we are lucky and privileged to live in such a ‘rich’ (money) society with so many opportunities and I’m grateful for that. I also don’t think we have all the answers and looking up to us feels kinda icky because it seems more important to find balance between having enough, having time, having meaningful relationships, having purpose etc. The stories posted here (I’m thinking of the hospital) paint a picture of Zambia being very ‘rich’ in relationships and it saddens me a bit that maybe there is too much emphasis on money making us ‘rich’. Thank you for sharing with us and being vulnerable while you grapple all of this.
Katie, being a white American minority is not something we are used to. It’s good for us to get a small taste of it and wrestle through the emotions.
Isa, we are about to head over to Unc’s to watch the boys’ 3v3 games tonight. I’m curious to read what you are doing this weekend. Have fun! Love you (big hug).
Hi Katie! I continue to be so impacted by how you all are thoughtfully moving through this experience. I appreciate how you are embracing the balancing act required to navigate such new perspectives and cultures. Sharing your thoughts and questions helps us all to reflect on how we walk through the world as well and how we navigate living with others each day!
Taylor- I had to update my phone and was short of storage. When I went through the large attachments in my settings there was somehow a video of you getting your diploma sent by stage clips!!!! I have no idea where it came from. I have no clue who stage clips even is…it’s like a literal miracle. Remember how I accidentally took a still photo instead of a video of you getting your diploma during the ceremony?? Anyway, I was so excited and now that I am typing this all out I am sensing that there might be a more embarrassing pattern here
Sorry I’m so late…Firewall was hard to break through!