I sit on the wooden benches looking at our laundry hanging on the line. In a sliver of shade, I feel a warm beam of sun on my face. The dust blows through the air, wafting both the smell of the trash pit and our dinner toward me. I savor the taste of a banana I just had for a snack. I take a deep breath. My brain pauses for a minute, and my heart takes over. My inner monologue disappears. I am confused. I am at rest. I am conflicted. I am calm. I am uncomfortable, yet I am at home. I am on the front porch of the convent, easily one of my favorite places in the world.
I do not like the front porch for being anything extraordinary. I like the front porch because it holds no expectations. I am there simply to be. Sometimes when I am on the front porch, I am laughing so hard I cannot breathe, and sometimes I am stifling silent tears that I have no way to explain. Sometimes I am looking for someone to talk to, and sometimes I need a minute alone. Regardless of how my day has gone, the front porch is always there to greet me, to sit with me, to laugh with me, to hold me.
Unlike a porch, it is impossible for humans to enter any situation completely withholding expectations. While we may try to assume best intent or show up with curiosity, our natural state is to try and make sense of what is around us. In this, our experiences either confirm or challenge what we believe to be true about the world.
In many ways, I am lucky to have peeked into the lives of Zambians and complicated my worldview both this year and last. However, this privilege does not come clearly. It does not reveal itself all at once, and when it comes, it is foggy at best.
The first time I returned to the States after Zambia, I defaulted to glorifying my experience. After all, I was welcomed by people who openly loved me and sacrificed their comfort for mine. This place taught me what it means to fail over and over again, and to find joy in the smallest success. My time in Zambia had shown me what it means to orient myself to the present and to look at the minute details that shape a moment.
Now that I have returned to Zambezi, I have begun to reshape my idyllic memories of the place that holds such a special spot in my heart. I still see the people and places that sparked belonging during my first trip, but I also notice that Zambezi is far from a perfect town.
I sit in a privileged vantage point both at home and in Zambezi. In neither space am I worried about my immediate needs, but what is hidden by different neighborhoods and reliable plumbing and electricity in Spokane is openly visible when traveling around Zambia. As I sit positioned to meet my immediate needs, I am sitting alongside those who may not be. While I call them my neighbors in Zambia, I do not always see them when I am at home.
A large value of the Gonzaga in Zambezi program is accompaniment. With this framework of coming alongside one another in mind, our experience is situated to include all the people we encounter. People who are positioned to meet their needs, and those who are not. Where invisible lines may be drawn at home, in Zambezi I am not trained to see the divides within the community. Here, we are attuned to learn from everyone we encounter. This becomes confusing when I face my privilege and operate seeing different sides of the vast inequality in the world. I am deeply uncomfortable with the idea that I simply got lucky to be born into the family and place that I was. However, I am positioned to not simply ignore these differences, but to challenge the guidelines society paints for how I should act within this imbalance. It would be comfortable to only know what I have been told, yet I would never learn about the human that sits behind each set of eyes.
As Father Gregory Boyle says in “The Voice of Those who Sing,” “The measure of our compassion lies not in service of those on the margins, but in our willingness to see ourselves in kinship with them.” The goal is not to enact our influence on those we encounter, but to surround ourselves with people who expand and challenge our understanding of the world.
It is a blessing to return to a place that I thought I would never see again, but it is also difficult to be reminded of the challenges experienced by the people I came to know. The orientation of curiosity boasted by this program allows me to enter into conversation with those who I may not have come to see in the States. It is this positioning that contributes to the depth of connections formed in Zambia.
This weekend in Dipilata, I was standing outside after church when I saw a woman that I had recognized from the year before. We caught up on each other’s lives, and I was reminded of the unique position I hold. As we were talking, we discussed both our dreams and the mundane of our lives. I stood conflicted as I spoke of my time during my last semester of college golf while she talked about balancing childcare and finishing her last year of secondary school. As I was beckoned to eat the lunch that was prepared for hours by women in the community hosting us, it was hard not to feel guilty for the privilege and honor that I neither earn nor deserve but consistently experience. In our goodbye, she assured me that she will prepare something for me next year, whether I come back or not, she will “properly” show up for me and celebrate our collective presence.
Perhaps what this trip has reinforced for me the most is how important it is to show up. It is easy to see why it is important to show up in the difficult moments in life. Nobody wants to feel like they are walking through something alone. However, what I think much of my generation has gotten wrong is that we have neglected the importance of sacrificing our desires to celebrate our community. In the wake of caring for ourselves and “doing what you need,” we have lost what it means to celebrate with another. We have forgotten that it is a gift to see joy in one another.
Travelling in a group of young adults to a collectivist community has reminded me that sacrifice and celebration for the other is deeply important to our human experience. In moments of celebration, the extraordinary and the mundane, I have been reminded of how belonging can spark when it is expected and it can spark after feeling deeply exhausted and disconnected. To celebrate is to stand with another.
A few moments from this trip have reminded me of belonging and celebration:
- Running my half marathon in Lusaka. After telling them the plan at 10:30pm the previous night, Hayden, Liv, and Emi woke up at 5am in the morning to see me start the race. While I was running, Pride, another runner that I met during the race, made it his personal goal that I set a PR. He ran with me every kilometer after we met and motivated me the whole time.
- The days leading up to Noah’s birthday, the group planned decorations, dessert, and celebration activities. Late into the night before, it was a group effort to blow up balloons, make a birthday banner, and plan a secret reflection (game night) to celebrate Noah the next day.
- During church in Dipalata there were not one, but two dance parties that broke out during song. I may have lost the order of the program, but I found joy in the smile that couldn’t leave my face as we shared in celebration together.
- Many days I find myself sitting outside of Mustafa’s tailor shop. We each put aside our agenda for the day and connect through few words about our lives. Our collective presence has built a relationship predicated on showing up for each other.
- During our dinner program with the Gabis, Morgan stood at the speaker queuing songs and teaching dance moves to everyone. I pulled Mama Katendi from the benches, and we laughed as we kept turning the wrong direction during the cupid shuffle.
Before some of the hospital shifts, the health group has a dance party on the porch. It is in these moments where I realize that I belong. I do not belong because I have achieved a place in the group or in the community that I am a part of. I belong because I too am a human who is experiencing the same moment with those I am created to be with.
Andrew Garfield has a quote that says something along the lines of “you can fall in love with anyone as long as you listen to their story long enough.” However, as I approach our last days in Zambezi (and as an all-time hater of saying goodbye), I have slowly come to the realization that some people can be deeply important for a moment in my life, yet their presence is transient.
As I have been oriented to find kinship with those who I have encountered in Zambezi, I hope I can take this curiosity into my future endeavors. I hope that I become someone who is curious for the person behind the eyes I look at. I hope I can always see and celebrate the humanity in the one who sits next to me.
The porch is in a unique position. Sometimes people sit and stay. They get to know the nuance of the porch, its surroundings, the soul that exists inside this sacred place. However, there are many people that walk across the porch to travel in and out. Some people are significant, others are bystanders. Some notice, some do not. The porch doesn’t overthink those who do not stay, it understands that some people are simply there to pass by. I hope I can walk through this world as a testimony to the people who have oriented me to the present, to be indebted to one another, and to celebrate the joy that it is to live our life.
Cheers,
Taylor Mularski
GU class of 2026, ZamFam ’25, ‘26
Mom, I can tell you are trying to sound profound in all of your blog comments. I can imagine it takes you a long time to write them all out. Anyway, happy late birthday, I hope you ate lots of chocolate cake and remembered to take Lactaid if needed. Dad, can you please make tee times for the week I am home? Hopefully your shoulder is decent enough when I am back. As we both know, it’s the only time you have any remote chance against me. Also, despite turning off service, I am getting automated messages. Thank you for switching my dentist, but an appointment in the morning of the 17th is sort of crazy work. To the rest of the family, I love you all, thank you for following along.
ZamFam ’25, I have been collecting some small details you might want to know. This group is slowly catching up to our peanut butter consumption rate. We even got the massive Dr. Nuts container. Kanchana is still here, but ZamFam ’26 has decided to call her Linus instead of her real name, I don’t know why. There are so many comments on the blog it is driving Jeff insane. It takes us TWO WHOLE MEALS to cover all the content each day. Becca, I have seen snakebite, the garden rake, the upside-down question mark, and of course, the giraffe many times. Rest assured the stars are still there. Caroline, I have had some diabolical running emergencies and I saw Moses and he was really persistent in asking about you. Also, Jeff and I are both very invested in this spotify-like situation, please share more. And let me know if you find any farms in Denmark! Caroline and Ellie, our room is being taken care of well, and my bedding is being thoroughly enjoyed. Health group, many of our students are back for year two of lessons. Zambia misses you all and is proud of you too.
Hoping I am the first comment! Taylor, you know me so well. I am trying to sound profound and surely failing. It is tough trying to sound wise when you all are so smart. An extended attempt at profoundness (is that a word?) coming later. For now, I have to let 23 rowdy second graders in for camp with little recovery time after reading your blog.
So much to take in from your musings on the front porch. Thank you. Mine come from the back porch and surrounded by green trees and in the distance Mount Hood. But God has a unique way of speaking to each of us doesn’t he. As long as we take time. Time. Something that I have come to value even more since passing my 80th year. By the way, time was well spent reading your blog.
Isabel, as your mom said in Yesterdays comments, it is cool and rainy here this past week. But The newly planted vegetable garden is coming alive! The strawberries are slowing down but abundance of cherries are begging to be picked. Maybe they’ll still be on when you get back. You’re good at picking cherries!
We love you!!
I want to sit on this porch!! Shoot me a text when you are back in service with your flight information. Tee times will be ready and waiting!!
Taylor,
I fully enjoyed reading your post and hearing about all the comings and goings on the front porch. It is so lovely how it can feel like home to you. Being able to return to Zambezi, see familiar faces, and catch up with old friends has to be truly rewarding.
I love a good front porch (or back porch) hangout, weather with coffee or an adult beverage. LOL
Lauryn,
Taylor’s post makes me imagine your front porch on your future rental house in Spokane. Such a wonderful wrap-around porch where so many memories can be made.
I’m imagining you dancing and singing on that front porch in Zambezi.
Graduation prep is still happening here.
Last night we went to Kiki’s golf banquet and saw Belle and Jen. Belle is looking forward to you coming home. Kiki was voted “MVP” by her teammates. I may have gasped out loud, too loud, as your Dad and I were both surprised.
Sunday night was baccalaureate, and Kiki spoke. She did a great job.
Tomorrow is the parade, and she will be riding in the back of a boat with several friends.
Just found out that Elyn is graduating from UW on Friday night, so they will not be able to attend Kiki’s graduation. Grandma Linda is coming this Friday to attend. She will be back the following weekend with Uncle Mike for the party. I am sure they will want to hear all about your trip.
Loving you to the moon and back! – Mom “Jennie” LOL I’m missing you so much that I’m even missing you calling me Jennie.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your Zambia experience. I really enjoyed reading it (several times). Your thoughts concerning looking behind the eyes of those you share time with was especially inspiring. Loretta is so good at that. Looking forward to seeing you when you get back.
Thanks for a beautiful post on the connections and relationships being formed. Meg, I have had some posting challenges with the firewal. Currently in Boise Idaho. We were in the Teton’s last night and it was beautiful. Early morning rain caused us to pack up camp at 4am. We went to Craters of the Moon and now on our way to Yakima. Think Ranier tomorrow. Love you and can’t wait to see you!
Taylor – loved your post. I’m making it a priority to enjoy my small porch tonight when home from work.
Sean – Gramps up in Portland now and hanging with Caroline today while I’m at work. They just sent me a picture of them with the biggest smiles. I think he is enjoying his time up here so far. Nona, Auntie Jen, Jorge, Diego and Marco are flying to Tokyo today.
Taylor,
I love how you talk about showing up. I think this is more societal than generational. So many of us get consumed by the noise around us that we miss showing up. A good reminder for us all. And it must be so different to experience this trip with familiar eyes, versus the new eyes of ZamFam26.
Kathryn,
Dad and I are heading out with the Mikacich’s after work. Looking forward to spending some time with friends. It’s starting to warm up here. Should be over 100 by the end of the week!
Taylor, Thanks for the post. Beautifully descriptive of your time but special as you have a unique perspective being a part of the program for 2 years. Being able to see joy and share that with this years ZamFam gives them a different view and is really cool.
Lily – nothing new here. Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma Jeanne are all anxious to see you and give you a hug. Cubs and Sox still struggling.
Love you always and forever.
Mom and Dad
Okay here we go! It is the end of the day…camp is cleaned up and the campers are all on their way home so I have a few minutes to share my profound thoughts regarding your post. The only way I can even come close to making any sense at all is to use your actual words instead of my own. Here are my favorites:
“The goal is not to enact our influence on those we encounter, but to surround ourselves with people who expand and challenge our understanding of the world.”- Boy is it easy to get comfortable in a bubble, surrounding yourself with people who look like you, think like you, and live life largely like you. You are so right that life is better lived when we share it with others who expand and challenge our understanding.
I loved how you described the value of having an “orientation of curiosity.” You, dad, and Zane are so good at this and I have always admired this about you all. Time to work on my Camino conversation skills.
“We have forgotten that it is a gift to see joy in one another.” and “To celebrate is to stand with another”- I recently heard a family say that they have a rule that if you think something nice about someone you have to say it. I want to be this type of person!
Seeing as it is taking TWO dinners to get through all of the comments, and as I am seriously pushing my limit with the double comment I’ll stop here with one final thought. It was such a gift to read your reflections on how your experiences are shaping the person you are and the person you hope to be. I am endlessly proud of you and am just so amazed that I was gifted with one of my very favorite humans as my daughter. Thank you for sharing the pictures of some of your “reconnections”. They capture in the sweetest of ways why goodbyes are so hard.
Thank you Taylor for your thoughtful post. It gave me such good visual images of your time in Zambia and I appreciate how it brought me there, in my mind, just for a little while. I hope you continue to have moments of belonging and celebration as you finish up this week.
MP, I have not been great about commenting on the blog and I apologize for that. We have been fire-walled a bunch of times and that has not helped in me passing along my greetings to you. I know you only have a few days left there and we are counting down the days until you return. I feel like I will need to take a few days off of work just to hear all the stories and to understand your experience. I can’t wait!
We’ve had a few rainy and cold days here which will turn into ninety degrees and sunny this weekend. That’s Portland summer for you! I just finished up the jury trial I have been on for the last six days. It has been an interesting and difficult experience and I am glad it is over. Our system is amazing in that twelve of our fellow citizens, strangers really, can get together and work through some complex and hard issues and come to a conclusion. I have faith in our unique justice system and at the same time kinda glad that I don’t have to navigate it every day!
Portland is amazingly green this time of year and I appreciate all the shades of green when walking through Marshall Park. There is still water moving in the creek and it feels still like Spring. You can wear long pants and some hoodies when you get home and sleep with a comforter! We are looking forward to you getting back and adding some noise to the house. The couch is waiting for you to melt into as is the backyard. We have a new bunny friend who does not seem to mind when we sit out in their space in the back yard.
Going over to Jim’s tonight to watch some Stanley Cup finals which will be good. It is that time of the year when the NBA and the NHL championships are on every other night. The World Cup also starts this week which will be fun. The Fire is is 6-7 and are playing pretty well. I feel like you are going to lose that ten win bet!
That’s the news for now. We miss you a lot and are excited for you to come back. Enjoy your last days there and I hope you make more memories to share! Love, Dad
Meow. – Olivia
I actually cannot believe he did that… anyway… Taylor I really liked how you connected the front porch to the bigger themes of belonging, presence, and community throughout the piece. Your stories and reflections made it feel very genuine, and they reminded me how much simply showing up for people can matter.
I miss you Bear sending love.
Meow
Ok, I tried to post meow, but I got blocked because it said I already said that. Funny. Miss you Sarah.
The porch doesn’t overthink those who do not stay- I really like that as a way to frame not overthinking – ie not going down the why or what if spiral – about people who were very important but only for a brief time in your life.
Ems – let’s see… Mark is working a swing shift and I am sitting on the back patio, listening to the birds and not doing the dishes. We are starting to get afternoon thunderstorms that cool things off at the end of the day, and are causing both the veggies and the weeds to grow like crazy. Lilah did her piggy mud bath thing at Cherry Creek and came home looking like she was in the middle of a spa mud facial. Scotty’s summer hair cut has already grown all back out and he looks like a pudgy little bear. There are two rabbits that have taken up residence in the neighbors’ front yards, and Gracie DOES NOT LIKE IT. Elli is on the plane back to St. Louis. That’s about it for today’s update. Love you and miss you – mums.
For some reason the firewall does not like my using quotes and parentheses so now I just have a lot of unpunctuated run-on sentences.
Taylor, thank you for so clearly describing your experiences in Zambia…around a front porch! I am picturing Mary Pearl also on that front porch.
Mary Pearl, the little cousins have joined a swim/dive team…following in your footsteps!! We miss you and are so proud of you!!
Always, much love,
Grammy
Isa,
I made it home from Mexico last night. It is rather quiet here without you. I can’t wait to see you and hear your stories.
I just spent a week with my siblings plus Tata and Nana. Lots of stories, tears and laughter.
Love and miss you.
I love that the porch holds space for so many activities – your photo of everyone on the porch doing different things at once was perfect. It seems like ‘Porch’ ways of being are welcoming but not attached to an outcome. Pretty great life lesson Taylor.
Graley, Pops and I are both planning to take some time off so we can hang out and welcome you home. One or both of us will drive up to get you at the airport. I know that’s a change in plan and so, figure out a way to let us know if you prefer to come back w MP. That’s ok too, we are just excited to see you.
Your brother is thinking of you too. Literally right now, because he just texted me to ask about which American Girl dolls you used to have. Apparently Noelle has Josefina too. Well that’s it, you can always count on me for inserting random news just to make you roll your eyes. I miss your eye rolls, that’s how much I miss you! Love you sweetie!
Taylor – this is a really lovely reflection, thank you. Being able to return for a 2nd time gives you have a unique and wonderful perspective. Front porches are some of the best places to collect and meet. I enjoyed your comments about deeply seeing others, recognizing our own privilege and channeling Greg Boyle to truly be with people on the margins. And thank you for sharing so many details about the days and activities.
Mary Pearl – loved seeing this picture of the dish-washing station! Looks like more fun than doing dishes at home! Also takes longer. Isn’t there something very nice about having a physical chore and getting it done? Hope you are dancing and singing to your heart’s content and enjoying each minute of your time. Love you!! xo Mom
Taylor,
I loved “I am lucky to have peeked into the lives of Zambians and complicated my worldview..” To have done so at such at your age is an amazing gift. Complicated doesn’t have to be harder. For me it makes life richer.
Graley, I’m thinking of you. This week we will go from a high of 63 to 97 in 3 days. I put in the order for more temperate weather upon your return. All the evergreens are in that phase where they are all dark green, expect for the new growth that a brighter yellow-green. When the sun hits them in the evening it’s like they sparkle. Fills me with joy! You’ll be able to see it when you get back.
Talk to ya tomorrow
Cheers, Pops
Taylor Anne with an E Mularski. First of all, please tell Moses I say hello! And also ask him if he decided to run for president or not. Second, I am jealous of the giant Dr. Nutz container! To Jeff, I am so glad we are driving you crazy with our comments. Like that actually makes me so happy. I can picture the eye roll now. In terms of the Spotify-like situation, it is a bit unique in that it doesn’t actually involve Spotify. It does, however, involve a game of cryptic communication between two confused people with a lot of feelings. And it has me spending a lot of time on Spotify in order to stay sane. More to come when you get back.
Now for the important things. This was beautiful. Taylor, if there is anyone in this world who is able to sit in kinship with others it’s you. You have taught me so much about what it means to be human and I find myself constantly trying to be more like you. It was a gift last year to watch and learn as you developed special connections with Brudas, Debby, Mustafa, and so many more people. Facing privilege in so many different communities, situations, and places is complicated. But your commitment to really seeing people and finding the human moments everywhere you go will carry you so far. I am so grateful to call you my running buddy, and I miss those runs a lot. Whether we were talking or running in silence (not by choice) you always made me feel known and understood. I am lucky to know you and so proud of the person you are. I can’t wait to see you and hear more stories from the front porch!
MP: day 1 of Seattle training was a success! I made two friends, ate Beecher’s with Catherine over lunch, and ate dinner by the water until my food blew away in the wind. I kinda felt like I was back in Copenhagen! However, this accounting stuff is hard. Like genuinely have no idea what I’m doing. Also, I freaked out the other day when I couldn’t remember if you are going to work at Camp Howard or Nordstrom this summer. Not sure which one sounds better. Love you lots!
Love,
Caroline
ZamFam ’25
Lauryn Grace,
Love and missing you greatly! I’m about at my limit of not being able to speak to you. I know you’ll be soaking in this final week of this incredible experience, so am grateful for that. Hoping you got a bag or two from Mama Katendi. They’re beautiful and something you’ll treasure.
Can’t wait to see you! Be safe! Love you always!
-Dadda
Another inspiring post!
Olivia, wow! Entering the final week! Your mom and I were remarking how long it feels like it’s been. And it has been so long. I imagine you must feel like you are in such a routine now! I’m in a routine looking for these posts everyday lol. Surprisingly it’s been fairly cold and rainy here. Sort of refreshing. Love you and miss you so much!!!!
Taylor, this was amazing! I love your stories of reconnection, and it is insightful reading your perspective of Zambia from both years. Also, the front porch seems like a lovely place to be:) Your comment about still receiving automated text messages cracked me up- I hope you are able to reschedule the dentist lol
Oh my gosh! They say a picture can say tell a thousand words and that’s what your picture of the porch did! For Jeff’s sake I’ll keep this short LOL!! Loved your whole post!!
Also, that’s SO rad about the 1/2 marathon and Pride helping you PR! Whohoooo!
Liv! We missed a post yesterday! Shoot! Love love love you!! Sounds like you’re getting down dancing and not giving up on our collective love of peanut butter!! We celebrated tomorrow being the end of the school year by going to Pfriem tonight! Tomorrow will be a big day and I’m getting myself pumped for 6 am yoga! We love you and can’t wait to hear your voice!!!!!! Love you!! Mama xo
Reading your post brought tears to my eyes, when I was 22 years old I would have had to copy something out of an encyclopedia. You do not need to HOPE that you BECOME someone. You are like two facing mirrors, you see things in life that other people will never see in a lifetime. You are Special, Very Special. Sandy and I will have to make copies of your posts, then you can teach own Grandparents.
then you can teach your own Grandparents. To proof read.
Loved this post–both the depth of it, and sharing a bit of what sounds so mundane (a porch) but absolutely isn’t. Thank you.
Sam–mom can’t stop watching tennis, and now watches the warmup tournaments for Wimbledon. Meg’s waiting for school to end, Kate’s waiting for her shins to feel better, and I’m waiting for my calf to feel better…so we’re all watching and waiting. Excited to see you but more excited for this incredible opportunity for you and the ZagFam.
Sam! Serena won her first match at the hsbc championship today! I played some Papa’s Donuteria and thought of you. I miss you and am so hyped to see you in only one week!!!! Yippee!!
Lily, I hope you are enjoying your last week in Zambia! I miss you and am so so excited to see all of the pics you’ve taken!
I’m glad the pitch is a place to feel all the feelings, a place that’s always available. We all need a “porch.”
Isa, Nana beat me to telling you about the cherries. There are so many! I weathered the weather and picked a big bowl today.
Can’t wait to share stores with you, but i also don’t want to tempt you to think too much about home and miss the opportunities to soak everything in during you last few days.
Love you
Taylor,
I love how you talked about meaning of the front porch to you. It was fun to read that and get a glimpse into each of your daily lives. I loved how you said “This place taught me what it means to fail over and over again, and to find joy in the smallest success.” That is a really important lesson to have learned and one that I want to take with me. Thank you for all that you have done on this trip.
Kathryn,
I can’t believe that we see you NEXT WEEK! I’m looking forward to hearing all about experience. Charlie leaves for Denver tomorrow. He and his buddies are really excited for the trip. Fingers crossed and a few Hail Mary’s for those boys. Everyone else is good. The store is coming along. Hopefully we will be able to start running some training and other classes in there in the next few weeks. I’m excited to get your thoughts on it.
Have a great day!
Taylor, when you describe the porch and your moments of uncontrolled laughter and also those moments holding back tears, its all so vivid. I feel like that probably sums up pretty well the range of emotions you’ve all had over the past several weeks. One moment you may feel connected, fulfilled and joyful and a moment later you’re feeling ill at ease, frustrated and lonely. Far from the safe confines of your homes and Gonzaga, you’re learning more about yourselves in a few short weeks than you may have up until this point. What a gift to do it not once but twice! Thank you for bringing the porch to life.
Hannah, I hope you’re writing your own blog daily in your journal and that you’re willing to share some of it with me. I know coming home will be wonderful in some ways and likely excruciatingly sad in others, and that we at home won’t really understand all you’ve seen and experienced. But I’m looking forward to trying. Love you honey.
Mom
Ps. Maria came with me to Janelle’s class today and we made matcha together afterward in your honor. I might be a convert. She leaves for Seattle on Friday, and I will miss her so much.
Taylor!!! You are so special and have a way of words I noticed last year, and every time you write, it comes back to the surface. Thank you for always putting so eloquently what is sometimes hard to say.
Yes to all you said about just showing up and the porch. I think it’s a great example of how mundane things like pumping water or grabbing laundry, can open the door to conversation and connection. You just have to be willing to take that first step. I have a photo of Jeff and James sitting with John Mwewa near the trash pit, and it’s one of my favorites because it captures that connection perfectly; both of them leaning in while listening and John using his gesturing to tell his story. If he’s around, please tell him I say hi! Is graduation soon? I hope he shows up in full attire again.
The moments of celebration you mentioned, oh my gosh made me emotional. So many of those aren’t about the actual thing (birthday posters, PR times, or even the dance parties)… instead, the thing that makes them so special is the appreciation and understanding of what effort was put in by others to execute it. Also, the photo with Mustafa, PRESH! I’m so glad to see he’s doing well. Zamfam, please hug Taylor for me, and know how lucky you are to have her as your TA.
Thank you for all the updates! Retweeting of what my name twin said, it’s bringing me joy to know how much you’re loooooooving all the comments, Jeff. While frustrating at times, how cool is it that this many people are invested daily into the happenings of the ZamFam.
I cannot believe my comment is this late, not that you’ll particularly notice. Today was my last day of being trained on new curriculum (YAY!) and tomorrow we begin heavy reviewing. There is a group of staff from the Portland office joining us on zoom for the next couple days of review so that’s fun! I’ll tell them I have some of my favorite people living up there. Life is slow over here, but appreciating the slow!!! My coworkers and I chatted for the whole lunch break and it felt very convent-meal coded :). My aunt and uncle also just landed back in CA from Lebanon and I get to see them later this week!!! So yay for that!! Have a great Wednesday everyone!
Love,
Weenie
11:12pm in California, 8:12am in Zambia
I’m sorry it’s so long. And I’m sorry for this extra comment. 🙂
So much to think about here, Taylor. For starters, thank you for the outstanding sensory memory to reorient me to the porch. It is, indeed, a place of much connection, reflection, confusion, and sacredness. Yet, as you looped back in your post, it can also be transient for some. It’s hard to describe the difficulty of saying goodbye to the people and the experience of Zambezi, but I think you nailed it with saying that people can be deeply important, yet just for a moment in life. And while there is never enough time to learn everything about another human, it is hopeful that we can enter every moment with another, however transient, with curiosity and seeing and celebrating their humanity. The moments of belonging you shared were really special. Huge congratulations on the half marathon, shoutout to Pride. And what I wouldn’t give to experience (multiple!) dance parties during Mass in Dipalata. And even in the mundane, you have this astounding way of connecting with and celebrating people — I’m glad you have continued to build a relationship with Mustafa, and the picture of you sharing that photograph from last year is precious. Thank you for your example of kinship and celebration and joy, and also of recognizing privilege and consistently complicating the experience. ZamFam ’26, please also give Taylor a big hug. Also… why Linus?! We spent very valuable time finding out Kanchana’s name, and here you are throwing away all that hard work. It’s okay though, you’ll never top our peanut butter rate. I can imagine it takes forever to get through the blog comments, so I’ll stop talking (you’re welcome, Jeff). Thank you for orienting us all, Taylor, and creating porch-like spaces of connection and celebration and reflection.
HAYDEN- Phoebe Bridgers tickets have been secured!! YAY! Also officially booked my tickets to come to Texas! YAY! Miss you and love you!!!!
Taylor, Thank you so much for your reflection. I enjoyed the comparison of this year to last year. And there is so much more for me to think about. I will strive to be more present to the people in my life.
Dear Isa,
I am beyond proud of you and everything you have done.
I am back from my adventures in Barcelona. I have loved reading all the blogs and all your fun adventures. I have made many new friends and so many stories to tell you when you get back. I am sure you do as well!! I can’t wait to listen to all of your life changing adventures.
Surprise! I got a tattoo! I got this in Barcelona with my friend Keira whom I have met 2 weeks before and it is of a flower shape that is printed all throughout the city. It symbolizes my time in Barca and how impactful this time was to me.
TILA misses you everyday. My rose over the pass 3 weeks has been exploring Barcelona, meeting so many amazing new friends, and exploring Europe. My bud is getting to see you again and meeting up with Lorianne in Portland, and Alexi in Spokane. Perchance I might go on a first date when I am down in PDX 😉 No thorn bc life is everything I want it to be 🙂
Love you always,
Tiffa <3
Taylor-I loved this insightful post. So many pearls of wisdom in here. Too many to mention but I have read this multiple times and am reflecting on all you shared. I always think of a front porch as a gathering place but I love what you said about the porch “holds no expecations and does not ‘overthink those who stay”. You are a gifted writer and weave in so many important lessons –to be curious and “to learn about the human that sits behind each set of eyes” and to “surround ourselves with people who expand and challenge our understanding of the world” and to show up for the joy and not just the crisis. Really enjoyed reading this.
Taylor we ae so proud of you Can’t wait to hear about your stay there. I’m sure the people there have been bless with you.