On my final night in Zambezi, I walked outside the convent underneath the night sky. Part of this expedition was practical, as I wanted to make sure I didn’t have any lingering socks on the laundry line. I also wanted to make sure that I could look at the Zambezi stars for one last time.
As I gazed upwards, I quickly spotted the Southern Cross, the singular constellation that I can spot in the southern hemisphere. I remembered seeing it for the first time on the bus ride from Lusaka to Livingstone, later while sitting on top of a land cruiser in Dipalata, and finally nights journaling on the porch in Zambezi. There is something unsettling about looking up at the night sky and realizing that the stars you’ve grown accustomed to are not the stars waiting for you at home.
Over the past month, I have unconsciously learned to orient myself by the Southern Cross. Night after night, it has been there above us in Zambezi, a quiet constant while everything else has been changing. New cities, new conversations, new challenges, new friendships. In a trip defined by movement, the stars remained faithful.
Tomorrow, we will board a plane and begin the journey back to the United States, where the Southern Cross will disappear below the horizon and the Big Dipper will once again reclaim its familiar place overhead. It feels like an appropriate metaphor for this entire experience.
One of the most difficult truths about studying abroad is that some goodbyes are exactly what they appear to be, endings. We say things like “keep in touch” and “see you again someday,” and I hope many of those promises come true. But there are also places we will never revisit in quite the same way, moments that exist only because of the people who happened to occupy them together, and versions of ourselves that belong only to that specific stretch of time.
There is a quiet grief in recognizing that sometimes hellos never come again after the goodbye. For someone who prefers certainty and neat conclusions, that realization has been uncomfortable. My instinct is to preserve everything, to take enough photos, write enough journal entries, and hold enough conversations so that nothing can truly be lost. But Zambia has repeatedly taught me that life is not something to be collected. It is something to be lived, shared, and eventually released.
The stars understand this better than we do.
The Southern Cross does not cease to exist when I return home. I simply move towards a new horizon. Likewise, the people who have shaped this journey, the communities that welcomed us so generously, and the lessons I have learned here will not disappear simply because I board an airplane. They will continue to exist, even if I cannot always see them.
And perhaps the same is true for the Big Dipper.
It has been there this entire time, hanging over my family and friends while I have stood beneath a different set of stars. Soon I will find it again, but I suspect I will not be the same person who last looked up at it.
There is another goodbye awaiting us that people rarely talk about: saying goodbye to the version of yourself that left home. Everyone warns you about culture shock when you arrive somewhere unfamiliar. Fewer people prepare you for returning to places that are familiar but feeling unexpectedly unfamiliar yourself. I know my room will look the same. On Wednesday, I will go to play tennis on the same courts that I played on for all of high school. Friends will ask, “How was Africa?”, and I will attempt to encapsulate my Zambezi experience in a story that can fit into a few minutes of conversation.
But how do you explain a month that rearranged the way you think about vulnerability, community, power, and yourself? How do you summarize conversations that changed you more than tourist attractions ever could? How do you explain that the greatest souvenirs from Zambezi are invisible?
I don’t know the answer yet.
What I do know is that readjustment will be its own journey. It will require resisting the temptation to treat this experience as a beautiful chapter that has already closed. Instead, the challenge is allowing what I have learned here to continue to shape the choices I make when life feels ordinary again.
The Southern Cross and the Big Dipper are separated by thousands of miles, but they belong to the same sky.
Perhaps that is the lesson I want to carry home.
The girl who nervously boarded a plane a month ago and the girl preparing to fly home tomorrow feel like very different people, but they are connected by every conversation, every risk taken, every friendship formed, and every uncomfortable moment that will slowly become growth. Nothing about me has vanished. I simply belong to a wider horizon now.
Tomorrow night, we will not be able to see the Southern Cross anymore.
But I think we will spend the rest of our lives navigating by it anyways.
Samantha (Sam) Cornfeld
ZamFam ‘26
A final note from ZamFam ‘26:
To everybody who has read along with us, we have appreciated your love and support endlessly. Reading blog comments is the highlight of many of our mornings and it would not be the same without your comments that make us laugh and cry. With that being said, we have a couple of superlatives that we would like to award:
Blog Dad: Mark-Mark, Dad like guy of Emu:
Mark-Mark, you were iconic from the very beginning of the trip and now your comments are accompanied by cheers. We have all requested to see photos of you from Emi, and she rolls her eyes, but I think she secretly loves it.
Blog Mom: Sharon Coughlin:
Despite the firewall, you showed up day in and day out. We all loved the Oreo updates, hopefully we can see more pictures from Sean soon.
Blog Bestie: Claire Renee Sladovnik:
Claire, I don’t think anybody made us laugh on the blog like you did, and getting your mom to also comment on the blog is absolutely hilarious. We all have a major friend crush on you.
Super seniors: Caroline and Caroline:
We could tell that you were living vicariously through us, hopefully we helped you to process your experience from last year, tehe.
We would like to thank you all for following along with us and thinking about us throughout our journey. The goodbyes here are hard, but made easier by the fact that we will soon say hello to all of you.
We are leaving Zambezi with peanut butter and chocolate in our stomachs, henna and friendship bracelets on our wrists, and above all, smiles on our faces.
Officially signing out,
ZamFam ‘26
P.S. to all future members of ZamFam ‘27 who are reading this and stressed out, we have a few words of advice. Drop all clothes from the packing list and pack a lot of food, and make sure you eat something before the bush planes. Get ready for the adventure of a lifetime! 😁
Notes to family:
Mom and Dad: it feels kinda of fitting that I was in charge of the goodbye blog for the ZamFam. I’ve had lots of practice with goodbyes and yet I still don’t feel like I’ve quite mastered them. With that being said, you guys made every house we lived in a home, and for that I will forever be grateful. On a different note, a few days ago we played soccer/football against a U15 team in Zambezi. You will be shocked to learn that my 3 months of training in Bann came in quite handy and in Meg’s words I was “surprisingly decent” (high praise). Love you so much, see you (and a jersey mikes sandwich?) soon!
Kate and Megan: there have been cats every step of the way here that I pet and let sit in my lap, even though Jeff does not love that. It reminds me of being home with you guys and Wolfie. I’m sure he’s not visiting because his favorite Cornfeld is not at home, don’t worry that will change soon. Cornfeld Family tennis match this weekend? Wow it feels crazy to say that!
Anders: I hope you have been enjoying your break from me, don’t worry I’ll be able to ragebait you in just a few days. Maybe practice some deep breaths in the meantime.
Travel safely Hannah! I love you so much and can’t wait to have you home for the rest of the summer! (I’m not sure if you will even see this post because your trip is nearly over but Mom still told me to post)
Love Abe
Sam: Another beautiful thought filled post. We are so lucky our kid gets to journey though Gonzaga, Zambezi and beyond with you. -Kim
I TOTALLY DID NOT EXPECT ANOTHER BLOG — what a lovely surprise, Sam! I’m so glad you mentioned the southern cross constellation; it was the thing that kept me grounded throughout the trip. I love what you said about the Big Dipper vs. the Southern Cross and how each have its own perspective on the different aspects of our lives. You will readjust bit by bit and know that there is a whole other side of the world thinking about you and impacted by you. Moments from Zambezi become memories, but memories aren’t tangible, no one can take them from you. I think that’s the coolest part! I hope you got a good photo of the constellation to show friends and family!
Thank you for the shoutout!!! This blog truly has continued to help me process the trip with a renewed perspective filled with a year of life and readjustment.
Zamfam ’27, get ready for the best month of your life. You have no idea what’s to come!
Love,
Weenie
10:19am in California, 7:19pm in Zambia
Sam, what an AMAZING last post for ZamFam ’26! I remember laying side by side with most of ZamFam ’25 under blankets on the grass just outside of the convent walls on our last night in Zambezi, refusing to take my eyes off the southern cross. Something about it always reminded me that the journey was bigger than I knew, and that when I returned from Zambezi the experience wasn’t going to vanish like I feared it was. I still ask myself every day how I can explain an experience that changed me to the core in just a few sentences or to a person I just met. But like Weenie said, no one can take these memories from you. You are a different person than you were a month ago, and you will be a different person next year as you read the blog posts from ZamFam ’27. Throughout the next few weeks, you will be challenged as you navigate feeling both at home and totally different. How lucky are we to be able to grapple with that complication.
Thank you so much for the shoutout! Weenie and I talked daily about your blogs posts. Thank you all for accompanying us and helping us to further process our experience through your stories and vulnerability. The ZamFam truly is so special. To everyone from ZamFam ’26, but especially Jeff, thank you for putting up with our comments! I hope we didn’t drive you too insane.
MP: what would you say if I asked you to drive me to the airport on Saturday night? I know you hate driving, but I think we would have a great time!
Taylor: I hope you enjoy the reading material I provided for the plane ride home. It is now a bit outdated, but you’ll get the gist.
ZamFam ’27: get ready to learn all about how to humanize, accompany, and complicate. And prepare to eat more peanut butter than ever before.
Love,
Caroline
ZamFam ’25
My Sammers, really nicely put, and apt not just for your Zambia trip but for all your life lived and life still to come. We’re so proud of you and can’t wait to see you soon. Lots of love.
Not Sam posting again! (Best for last!!) I didn’t know you were such a constellation girly but I love the story you tell with the Southern Cross and I can tell you will have so many amazing stories to tell us when you get home. I am so so so excited to see you in two days and to play tennis and to go on a run with you. Don’t worry, I’ll run slow so I won’t mog you too hard. I hope you have safe travels and continue to enjoy this awesome journey you have been on, even when part of that journey is a 14 hour plane ride.
My Sammers! Fantastic last blog. The Zambia goodbye is a different beast than any other goodbye you have had… but in the end you chose if it’s “goodbye” or “ see you later”. Not just related to if you physically return to Zambia but rather related to the life lessons, understanding and friendships you continue with once you get back to the US.
We are so proud of you. Be prepared for backyard movie nights, Cornfeld tennis matches, paddle boarding and neighborhood pickleball. Yes, Jimmy John’s and maybe even cookies to share at SeaTac!
Travel safe Zamzag’s 26- we are beyond excited to welcome you home.
Brave Explorers,
Thank you so much for bringing me along in your trip. You have collectively woke me up and got me thinking and feeling again while in real life I’ve been grinding these last few weeks!
Here’s what I want to know: was it your instruction in writing these posts to avoid the three Cs?
1. Complaint
2. Conflict
3. Controversy
I will tell you all the reason I came running back to the cool glass of your refreshing blog posts most days is that the tone and content was so different than the ordinary small talk that drenches the middle aged white guy. Every day I’m exposed to the 3 Cs and with effort I can defend my eyes and ears from it and teach my mouth not to join it but it sure is a fine pleasure to find a place where the three Cs are stopped at the door!
You have created a safe place and don’t start crying about how it’s almost over. Take some seeds of what you’ve done and start sowing. The world needs more of what you have to offer!
Mark-Mark
PS Emu see you soon! Love you more than the bosons in the universe times two!
Safe travels everyone. And thanks for bringing us along and sharing your experience with us. Can’t wait to hear stories in person this week.
Samantha,
Thank you. We have truly enjoyed each blog and those who have shared something from this journey. Through your words you allowed each of us a small glimpse of you and how you see this opportunity and that is a gift. We so appreciate all that each member the ZamFam have shared. (Noah so sorry for missing a response yesterday to your post. Knitting is a hard task, but is sounds like you have learned to do hard thing very well.)
Jeff and Cade, thank you for being present each day for each of the young men and women who made this trip with you. Jeff, thank you for believing in the members of this group and inviting each of them on this amazing journey. Cade, thank you for stepping in so the trip could continue and that all involved could experience all that they have blogged about the last month.
Lily – safe travels. stay connected in the moment and Dad and I look forward to learning about this amazing chapter.
Love you always and forever. Be safe.
Sam- what a beautiful way to describe the conclusion of this part of the journey. It brought tears to my eyes. I have looked forward to the daily ZamFam blog and all the ways it has gotten me thinking about and reflecting on things each day and I will miss it.
Ems- Can’t wait to see you, and to hear, when you are ready, about the last month+… I’ll have a poke bowl waiting when you roll into Denver. Love you so much- mums.
Sam, Thanks for reminding us that the person we left at the airport will not be the same when we pick them up. I can’t see how you could not be changed, based on all that we have read over the past 5 weeks. You all have had some really profound experiences and personal discoveries. It has been a blessing to be able to share in your journey through this blog. Thank you all.
Noah, I am looking forward to getting to know the new you. We will definitely give you time and space to process. I love you so much and can’t wait to see you. Love, Mom
Team ZagZamFam- congratulations on a job well done. Safe travels and see you soon!
Legendary post Sam. Glad the blog was able to be sent off by the goat. I have thoroughly enjoyed the break from you!!! Very much needed. To be honest right now it kinda feels like your trip went by fast but in the moment it has felt like many months and everything has felt so off! I’m so glad this trip has seemed to be a trip of a lifetime and you discovered a lot more about the world and yourself. See you soon!
Sam-Mic drop. Great last post. You’ll surprise yourself with how much you will continue to learn and grow from this experience once you return. I can’t wait to hear more (wait, does this blog not continue? )
And Pickle. Love you to the moon and back. Can’t wait to have you back home, getting ready to leave again! You’ve changed. We’re still here. But still saying Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, ILOVEYOU. Momma.
Hi Sam! A beautiful last post…truly. Thank you for taking all of us along on this journey. I will miss you all and reading your stories each night but look forward to all of the happy reunions that are around the corner.
Sam- Meow! Your family had begun to watch movies outside at night. I enjoy keeping them company and getting some snuggles. I recently got a new haircut and there are screams of horror when I walk down Bonshaw Ct. I am excited to see you soon. Meow!
Samalamadingdong- I can’t believe that you will be home soon!! I am so so so excited to get to see you after a heartbreaking five weeks apart. I have returned all of the clothes I borrowed back to your closet. Don’t fret, I made sure to wash them first. This summer is going to so much fun together, I can hardly wait. I can’t wait to play lots of tennis together, watch some movies, and bake a lot of whimsical treats. Luckily I only have one more toothbrushing until you get home.
Great post, Sam. I loved the Southern Cross and Big Dipper comparison. It’s a simple reminder that changing horizons doesn’t erase what came before, it just gives you a different perspective. It sounds like Zambia will stay with you long after the Southern Cross disappears from view.
Kathryn,
Maggie, Winnie and Steve are ready for some serious Kathryn hang time. We have some of your favorite foods in the fridge.
Charlie and his friends had a great weekend at the Denver tourney. They beat Jack’s record there, so Charlie was happy that they are better salesman than Jack was. They drove to Vail tonight. The next tourney starts on Tuesday so they have the day to hang in Vail tomorrow. Jack is good and ready for his interview on Tuesday. He will be home for the 4th of July. It will be fun to have all three of you home again. Your Mom and I went out on the boat with Heidi and Brian tonight. That was fun to be back out on the water and to grab some dinner with them.
Looking forward to catching up on all of your adventures. Safe travels!
Hi Sam–such profound sadness that this is the last blog entry. It was a good one though! I have thought a lot about the night sky there and how beautiful it must be without all the light pollution we have here. Even though we all see different constellations, we all are connected by the stars and they truly are faithful, as you beautifully said.
Just because you are leaving Zambia doesn’t mean Zambia is leaving you (am I being Captain Obvious by saying this? yea-probs). Everything you experienced in Zambia will remain with you and influence everything you do from this point forward. I believe all experiences do that and this one was obviously life-changing for all of you. I have confidence that the choices you make in the future will be shaped forever by this experience–even when life feels ordinary again.
There is so much you have yet to teach us–and the world. You will have to decide what/when/how much to share of this experience. Maybe there are some parts you want just for yourselves. What bothers me most about the 5-minute elevator speech that has been discussed a few times in this blog feels the opposite of what you all learned while there. Of course, you can’t possibly have 3 hour long intimate conversations with everyone you know. I do hope you that when opportunity knocks you can share deeply with anyone who is truly interested and will take the time to listen. I hope that all of us back home–especially the ones following along– get to receive that gift from you. Maybe not immediately as you may need a minute to re-center and re-charge–and sleep!
While reading this blog, I have often thought that I just want to know all of you better! I would love nothing more than to sit on a front porch/dock/insert favorite spot here and just listen to all of you talk about your experiences and what you learned. I will truly miss this daily reminder of our shared humanity.
Jeff, Cade and Taylor-thank you again for accompanying our kids on this journey! I am so grateful they had you guiding them.
You all may not know that we have another cat–Lucky. He is our timid, quiet introverted cat who definitely gets less fanfare. He will only sit on me does roly polys for belly rubs and purrs louder than any other cat I’ve ever met. Oreo is a tuxedo cat-he is very soft, a rascal, an attention grabber and a “pick me” cat. They are both very loved. Sean, now that Oreo has vacated your bed, Lucky is now sleeping there. Between the 2 of them and a couple of nights when Caroline snuggled Oreo–your bed has been kept warm –and furrified. See you soon!
Dear Sam – what an amazing way to conclude the blog for ZamFam26, and to wrap up your trip! I can once again see all the complexities in leaving a community you have shared so much with. Especially as you think about the stars. Thanks to all of you for keeping this blog and for really pouring your hearts and feelings into it. It helped us feel connected to you as we waited for news and wondered what was happening all the way across the the world, in that other hemisphere.
Mary Pearl – pictures of the stars at night don’t really work. I so want to see that Southern Cross, but you’ll just have to describe it to us! I can’t wait! See you in a few days!! love you – Mom
I’m so glad isa had this experience with all of you. It has been fun getting to know you all a bit through the blog. I’m excited to see pictures and hear stores about all of the ZagFam. Thanks for taking care of our girl. I’m sure many of you have her the needed daily hugs, thank you! Isa, I’ll give you a huge hug and snuggle when I get home. Love you!
An unexpected last blog post! Thank you for this, Sam. I remember feeling a similar level of grounding when I saw the Southern Cross, over many nights stargazing (shoutout to Dipalata especially) surrounded by members of ZamFam ’25. Even considered getting a tattoo of it to memorialize the experience — we’ll see if I ever make that happen. I LOVE how you’re thinking of the stars as symbolic of the relationships and time you spent in Zambezi — that they were in your life, and maybe even defined moments of your life, for a particular time, and they’ll never go away. Instead, they’ve made your horizon wider, and how fitting that is for all the ways I’m sure all of have changed and begun to think about things differently. Readjusting is something that will take time, much more for some than others. It can be hard to know if your horizon was widened enough, or if you are letting that impact your life as much as it should — know that all of those feelings are normal, and you will continue to grow and widen your horizon. Like you said, readjustment is yet another part of the journey; it’s not just a destination. As I’m sure you’ll be back by the time anyone reads this comment — welcome back! Thank you for all of the reflections you shared throughout the blog, ZamFam. It definitely made me feel a bit like a super senior, LOL; I have really enjoyed living vicariously through you all. I admire your curiosity, your vulnerability, the ways you’ve accompanied each other and the people you’ve met in Zambia — and of course, that’s just all from what was in the blog. I’m sure what you’ve done and learned and grown through extends so far beyond that. Give yourself grace with the whole reentry period, but know how incredible you are for saying yes to this experience and leaning in each and every day!
Wow what a great final blog post. In so many ways a life well lived is one in which we properly process endings.
Olivia I am beyond curious and excited to hear about your experiences! I love you so very much! Travel safe and enjoy the moment to be quiet as you fly home. Can’t wait to hear all about it. Love you ❤️❤️❤️
WOW! Another blog post! This is such a bonus! This one made me cry…it was just so beautiful and as a star lover I can imagine how much you connected with the Southern Cross (there’s a song Southern Cross!) I wonder if it’s about that or…an actual cross in the South..you’ll have to listen and see-but I think it’s about the stars. You’re bringing it all home with you…and it’s just so special to say the least. I’ve enjoyed the blog journey so much and will miss this!! Great pictures!
Liv-I wrote one to you but I had to cut it up because of….Firewall Drama! It’s not working. Love you!
Liv! I loved this picture, and of course I screen shot all the pictures! EEEEEEEEE
I don’t know when we’ll see you..but let me know as soon as you get reception!
I know it’s going to be full on when you get back because I think you are hosting the shower that weekend? Wild!
This is going to be so different from your current reality. I can’t wait to hug you!! Love you to infinity and beyond (we’ve been watching all the Toy Stories…so Buzz Light Year is a big part of our lives right now haha). Love you! Mama
Drat the firewall! In short, Sam I loved this post because once again it brought me back to leaving my own “Zambezi” at your age and how I desperately wanted to remember and hold onto every detail of the sky there. Thank you for taking me back and for helping me see your night sky. You will see it again in your memories.
Hannah, I was just thinking of how excited Teddy will be to see you. He is going to wiggle so hard and jump all over you. FYI- the Lockwood’s are out of town this week so you can ease back into life here and sleep in for a few days! Since I’m sure you’re getting excited for familiar foods, Dad smoked a pork butt and I made homemade Mac n cheese and rhubarb cake yesterday. It feels like summer. Looking forward to listening to whatever you are ready to share. Safe travels. Love, mom
Isa I wrote you a very wise message and it vanished itself….We’l
talk when you get home.
Love
Uncle Ken
SO AMAZING SAM! I’m honored and blushing hehe thank you!! Get some rest and enjoy home!