During my time at Gonzaga, I have always felt somewhat self-conscious for choosing a school so close to home. For those of you who don’t know, I grew up 25 minutes North of Gonzaga’s campus, and as many of you know, ties to Gonzaga not only dominate Spokane, but they infiltrate places all over the United States. In many ways, choosing Gonzaga meant accepting the perspective of the world that I had known my whole life. This was particularly concerning for me because I still believe that moving away for at least a short time is fundamental for someone to begin to shift their perspectives away from what they have been conditioned to know as “normal.”
After my first semester of college, I was convinced that I hated Gonzaga. I didn’t feel like I had any friends, which made being stuck in Spokane feel so much worse, but what started as sitting in the uncomfortable soon transformed into the most intentional community I have ever been a part of. I experienced this same parallel during my time in Zambezi last year. Initially, I found it difficult to find my place in the group. Not only did I not know any Zambians, I also hadn’t met any of my fellow Zags. I questioned every conversation I had, thinking that surely the only reason these people are nice to me is because they know I don’t have any friends. When I struggled to connect with Zambians and inevitably ended up talking about the weather, I didn’t feel like I had place enough in the group to express how deeply confused I was and how incapable I felt, even though we were all experiencing the same thing. Despite my time in Zambia feeling uncomfortable all the time, it is ultimately this experience that led me to recognizing the importance of home. In one of my final Zambezi reflections last year, I wrote: Not everyone is your family, but you can find family everywhere. I know this sounds really cliché, but the principle that this speaks has come to shape the ways I have grown not only in Zambia, but at Gonzaga as a whole. My time in Zambia taught me that connection requires a lot of failure, but there are good people everywhere, some places just require a bit more digging than others. Sometimes it is hard, and sometimes it is easy, we are flawed humans after all. Ultimately, when we let each other into our heart is when we find belonging.
As I come to terms with the fact that I will be returning from this trip to a different Spokane than I left, I know that I have a little piece of home all across the country. I have a home in Jacksonville and in Eu Claire. I have a home in Bellevue and a home on Oahu. I have a home in Martinez and I have a home on Indonesia. I have a home in all the people that have carried me.
After “graduating” one week ago, I was asked countless times if I was excited to graduate. To be honest, I wasn’t. I was deeply sad that all of my friends would go from being scattered across the Logan to being scattered across the world, and I was confused as to how I would process all of this sudden change in my life in a single weekend. While I feel like graduating was pulling my heart in a million different directions, sitting in SeaTac settled my nerves when I realized that Zamfam ’26 feels like home. This group is nothing but pure joy and excitement for the experience. They think and feel deeply for their surroundings and sit in the complexity. Through the inevitable nerves, doubt, and hesitation, this group has already displayed deep curiosity and reflection for what we are encountering. It turns out that not every piece of my Gonzaga home has been pulled from me quite yet.
On the plane, I sat by a Zambian woman. Like many other Zambians I have met, she has spent her whole life in the same place. In this instance, this place is Lusaka. She told me how much she loved where she was from and that she is proud to be Zambian. I began to remember that my time in Zambia last year began to shift my thoughts about staying close to home. I thought of how Brudas, a PT at the Zambezi District Hospital, told me how proud he was to be from Zambezi and how deeply committed he is to growing the community. It is stories like these that shifted my perspective of staying in Spokane. I have come to realize how lucky I am to have a place that I can confidently call home. Not only is Fairview the weird street that I drive on to get to my Grandma’s house, it is also the name of my favorite pizza at my favorite restaurant. Not only is Waikiki Springs where I would hammock during Covid, it also borders Bozarth, where I have forged some of my most special retreat memories at Gonzaga. Not only is Whitehouse the street I call home, it is also the running route for Gonzaga’s cross country team. I am lucky to have a true home, somewhere that will grow alongside me as my own perspectives of the world are challenged. Today, Cade read us a quote from Dr. Kenneth Kaunda, “Do not become so wrapped in your studies that you forget the people from whom you have sprung…education is of little value if you lose the human touch.” I am formed to better the place that has formed me.
Today we toured UNZA and had our first curio market experiences. As the group challenged ideas of privilege and discomfort, I couldn’t help but feel honored to accompany them on this journey. One moment from today made me particularly excited because it was a moment that I knew would kickstart how truly welcoming Zambians are. When we were touring UNZA, Jeff was asking for directions to the library. This brief interaction led to an hour-long tour from professor Trevor Mwansa, a sacrifice that I wouldn’t have understood last year, and that I can only describe now as one of the reasons Zambia feels like home.
Home is welcoming. Home is belonging, regardless of where you are coming from. Home is community. Home is connection. Home is presence. Home is dedication to steward those around you.
I am beyond excited to accompany Zamfam ’26 as they come to see why Zambia has become somewhere that feels like home. Yes, home for me is deeply rooted in Spokane, but my time at Gonzaga has also taught me that my home is found in the people that I let into my heart whether they are lending me clothes after losing my luggage or reading the blog knowing that they too are growing from the experiences that will shape my perspectives.
Taylor Mularski
Zamfam ‘25, + ’26
Mom + Dad + Family: I hope you enjoy reading the blogs, there are going to be some great ones coming. Sorry for the lack of pictures of me, since my phone works I have been the one behind the camera. Don’t worry though, I am still in the same outfit that you dropped me off in, so you can use your imagination.
Zamfam ’25: Thank you for shaping my experiences in Zambia so well. I keep reflecting back on our trip; so grateful that you all carried me through. Also, I got my first glimpse of the giraffe constellation tonight!
Unit 2: I hope some of you are reading this, and I am still in denial that I will not be returning to the townhouse in June. I miss you all so much, and I hope that Sammamish, Alaska, and Wisconsin are treating you well!
Thinking Meg Baxter fell in.
I second the guess that Meg fell in.
Feeling so jealous of ZamFam ’26 for getting to experience this journey alongside your intentionality and insight, Taylor. Thank you for the ways you became home during our trip last year, and for the ways you accompanied us in navigating our new home together. I’m so looking forward to keeping up with this year’s crew — you all seem so excited and thoughtful already! Keep being curious and joyful as you become a part of this new home (but maybe don’t fall into any more lakes). Taylor, say hi to that giraffe in the stars for me!
Sean Mullins
ZamFam ’25
Taylor I loved your post. We have all experienced the ups and downs that you have felt throughout your time at Gonzaga. You are a brave and confident person to share your experiences in such a very raw and personal level. Thank you! I especially love that you wrote “not everyone is your family, but you can find family everywhere”. Wow! Mind exploding emoji. So true.
I will not guess who fell in. But I’m glad that someone took the plunge on behalf of the team. That was a selfless act and you should be proud of your accomplishment. 🙂
Such a great post Taylor. I love what you have to say about “home is belonging”. When Hayden and I first visited Gonzaga on a Saturday tour in April of 2024, I had this deep sense that this was going to be a safe and loving home for Hayden. And two years later I am so thankful that Hayden has found a home at Gonzaga, and that she gets to be on this trip with such an amazing group of people. Hard to believe that we attended the meeting about Zambezi on parent’s weekend this last October. And now here you all are there. Prayers for an amazing experience.
Taylor,
This was such a beautiful post and reflection on what it means to belong. I really appreciated how honest you were about feeling uncomfortable both at Gonzaga and in Zambia.
I am so excited that you are able to share your experience from last year with these new “ZagZams”
I loved the way you described home not just as a place, but as the people who shape and carry you. I am confident that all of you will feel like you have a new home when this adventure ends. And a lot of new wonderful friendships.
I’m hoping my girl, Lauryn didn’t fall in as she is a dancer and should have great balance. ♥️.
God bless you all!
Honestly wouldn’t be shocked by Meg jumping in but doing so in such a dramatic fashion it seemed like a fall (Megs – when you said we could comment it definitely included ganging up on you, right??). Hope everyone is adjusting well and ready for your week ahead!
TAYLOR! I absolutely loved reading this. Yay you found the giraffe! It’s easy to get lost in focusing on others perspectives or outside pressures, but letting go of those expectations and allowing yourself to just truly be, brings all the love and connection right to you. Maybe home isn’t always somewhere we return to, but rather something we feel in the presence of the people who make us feel most like ourselves.
What an amazing group of humans ZamFam 26! So excited to follow along this incredible journey. Lean on each other, lean into discomfort, and always stay curious. Sending so much love to you all!!
Sloane
ZamFam 25’
I knew your post would be one of the first this year and I thought that since it has only been a couple of days that I would be ready for it…boy was I wrong! So many mom tears happening right now. To say that I am proud of you would be an incredible understatement. Watching you grow up and slowly find a home away from us has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. I mean, I won’t lie, the process of watching you live this life, your one beautiful life, has taken my breath away at times but the best gifts tend to do that. Man, do I love you sweet girl and miss you already. I love all of the pictures too, even if you’re not in them, because I feel a little like I’m there with you just for a moment. Live it up in that one outfit of yours and hold onto your stories because you know that I will drive you crazy with questions when you get home!
Finally the clear Sam feature we were all hoping and waiting for. Also if jumped in then surely Sam did as well. The cold plunges continue in Zambia.
*If Meg jumped in
Yooooo Anders what’s up
Went to Pete’s today and missed seeing you there. I loved reading your post.
Loved your post. I remember in your Zam Fam 25 blog post you were searching for the meaning of your experience. Thank you for sharing how Zam Fam and your Gonzaga years were so meaningful. Such a powerful and inspirational story. I am really looking forward to ZamFam ‘26 posts.
Taylor!
I am so happy you to experience Zambia again! I have been eagerly awaiting this blog post and your writing encapsulates all of the feelings so well. My heart is with you and all of the new zam zags from the Spokane Logan neighborhood home all the way to Zambezi!
Sending lots of love and connection your way
-Katy
Zam fam 25 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Taylor you have accomplished a great deal over these last 4 years. We are very proud of you. Love You,
Taylor, thank you for sharing about your journey to home(s). When we were in Spokane just one week ago (!!), as we were driving up to Cane’s chicken for some lunch, Graley pointed out the area your family lives and told us about how wonderfully you hosted the group for a meal last semester. Thanks you for sharing your home and for being in Zambia with this group. I’m excited for the family you will all be growing there.
Dear ZamFam ’26, there will continue to be things that don’t go to plan, and I am glad that you guys are staying curious and reflective- keep it up! As you will continue to learn, impromptu hour-long tours from people like Professor Trevor Mwansa is common practice for Zambians. Taylor put it perfectly, “welcoming.” Somehow when you are there, it feels like everyone is your family and you are home. Lean in and reciprocate those practices whenever possible. I love to see some smiling familiar faces. Hi Mary Pearl and Hayden!
Dear Taylor, reading this, I started tearing up. Thank you for being so vulnerable and giving voice to the terrifying and confusing feeling of knowing your place within a group. We all experience this to varying degrees and at different times, but it intensifies when going to college and traveling to a new country with a group of people who you may or may not know. I am so incredibly grateful to have experienced Zambia alongside you, and ZamFam ’26 is so lucky to have you as a TA. Not sure where the wind will take me, but you will ALWAYS have a home on my couch. Lastly, I’m dying to know who fell in, please update asap. I’m always going to have to guess Jeff.
*not knowing your place
So excited for all of you, although I had to laugh at the idea of ending that incredibly long journey with a cold shower. Minor inconveniences are part of the experience and the unexpected moments and challenges, big and small, create the most lasting memories. You all have great attitudes and are obviously ready for adventure! Having never been to Africa, I’m counting on all of you to bring us along on your journey through this blog. I’m praying for all of you – safety, health, and the most amazingly transformative experience that so few ever have. Taylor, I’m so glad you will be there to help the newbies along the way, thank you for sharing your story. Love you Hannah! It’s raining here, yay!
Awesome reflection about what “home” is. We too sat through the meeting during family weekend, and after hearing about the experience we knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. The group is lucky to have you with them.
Definitely could have been Emi if she was distracted by an animal, a bird, well… just about anything ;). I hope the next blog post reveals who fell in, and that there are no repeats at Victoria Falls!
What a great post! – It got me thinking about my many past homes over the years and how “home” is so much about the people you are connected to, and the place – the way it feels, its sights, sounds, and smells- trigger the memories of and reminders of being connected to those people whether they are there at the moment or not.
I am so appreciative that we get to follow along on the Zamfam ‘26 journey through these blogs posts and get to see the experience unfolding along with all of you!
Can’t wait for the next post!
I third that. Hope meg does not get eaten by a hippopotamus
My money is on meg as well.
Taylor! I loved everything about this. Your reflections about struggling to fit in at first in Zambia last year feel all too real. But it is so true that connection requires failure, and if you keep digging, those connections will begin to form. I can totally picture the impromptu hour-long tour from Professor Trevor Mwansa. What a gift to be able to listen to his stories and perspectives!
I am currently on a boat in Sweden and we just sailed past a crane that they built and painted to look like a giraffe. I would give anything to be on safari with you once again, flopping over upon hearing Opi say “sleep my girls!” Any sighting of Becca’s snake bite constellation yet? So proud of you for embarking on this journey once again. ZamFam ‘26 is so lucky to be able to learn from your reflections and the way you connect with others.
MP – I’m guessing you haven’t seen many chickens yet, but I hope you’re ready. I love and miss you!
With so much love,
Caroline
ZamFam ‘25
Wow what an amazing post! Very inspiring. Makes me think of my own journeys through life and what home means to me. Very curious to know who fell in! I know one thing it made it Olivia laugh whether it was her or not:). So excited for the transformational journey all of you are on.
Taylor, This is such a beautifully written reflection — the way you are able to connect your initial discomfort at Gonzaga with your experience(s) in Zambia is a vulnerable and honest and relatable portrait of what it feels like to be somewhere unfamiliar searching for your footing. The line “not everyone is your family, but you can find family everywhere” hits especially hard, because you earned your ties to your family(ies) through struggle. I hope that on this trip you all make the space to examine your own relationship with home and ask yourself whether you’ve really let the people around you in.
Pickle. I love you. I hope on this trip you open yourself to new family and connections (and keep loving your old family because we love you so much!!!). Sending you so much love. Momma
Good job Taylor!
Hi all!
Welcome to Zambia. To already be having conversations with intentionality in what you are experiencing will undoubtedly serve you well throughout your four weeks. Stay curious — it is how you will learn the most about each other, yourselves, Zambezi, and this crazy experience.
Taylor, you always had a way of putting feelings into words without diminishing the weight of it all. This group is so lucky to have you. Meg, for your sake, I really hope it was not you who fell in, though everyone in these comments seems to think so.
Zags, soak every moment in. I miss my people, but seeing your smiling faces makes it all worth it.
Love,
Weenie
ZamFam ’25
Wow! Commenting on this blog is not easy… it actually took me probably 40 minutes to figure out, firewall, cookies, blah blah blah. Anyways! I figured it out!
I’m sitting at home reading your post and it feels like I’m right there on the journey with you.
So glad you’ve found so many homes along the way!
We’ll see what quote Mom steals from this post to put on the wall!!
I also am wearing the same clothes since you left
Taylor-your post was so vulnerable and so raw. Your descriptions of home and what it means really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with us. We learn so much through everything that is shared here and I’m so grateful.
Hi friends! Taylor, this was beautifully written, and I love your definitions of home!
Okay Isa, as promised, the question of the day from the book is “What beautiful thing did you admire today?” My beautiful thing that I admired today was a swan that I saw in the lake on my walk this morning! I hope everyone is doing well so far, and I can’t wait to hear more!
Taylor, I love this AUTHENTICITY. We were never this vulnerable even with our friends back in the GEN X days. I just read this great article called “This is How it is Right Now.” You are on that same vibe! Uncomfortable is okay. It’s where progress is made.
These posts are beautiful so far. Keep them coming! I would have been spray painting an outline of my hand in the cave wall back in the 1980s…
Mark
Taylor! Your writing made me shed a tear (or two). Reading this brought me right back to last summer. The way you encapsulated the feeling of home not being bound to the place you were born and raised, really speaks to the beauty that this month in Zambia has in store. I am so happy to hear that this crew already feels like home and is full of excitement and curiosity. I know that your role as a leader is such a large aspect of what is making them group feel accompanied and connected, especially in the beginning of the trip. ZamFam ’26 is so lucky to be guided by your thoughtful, reflective leadership.
First curio market and UNZA visit! Sounds like a great day … minus the falling into the lake. However, Pipers guess about Jeff falling in made did make me chuckle. Quite the mental picture. And yay! Glad to hear the giraffe is still kicking it up there in the sky.
Mia,
Zam Fam ’25
Nice!!
ISA! My rose is that I got my internship! My bud is that I am almost done with study abroad stuff. My thorn is that I was going to get my visa in Seattle and I drove all the way to Portland from bend and then realized i forgot my passport and had to drive all the way back to bend and then allll the way back to Portland.
Loved loved loved reading this blog! I’m so impressed with how well you articulated these feelings.
Sam and Meg and Mary Pearl: Miss you guys so much still. Hope you are having fun so far and I hope Sam and Meg got to room together. If not then dangit. But still, I know you guys are having some awesome fun anyways. I’m leaving Spokane today, and heading for glacier. We had some funny awards at a party to celebrate the end of the year with rowing, and I got most likely to threaten someone in the boat. Not sure what to make of that, but thought you might think it was funny. So proud of you guys and am anxiously awaiting the day I can hear about all your upcoming adventures. Love you!
I love everything about this reflection. I love hearing about your journey at Gonzaga, Taylor. We were so happy to find that Gonzaga still has the same family feel after being away from it for 4 years. I look forward to finding out who took a dip. 🙂
Taylor,
This post was a gem and also a great start in a chapter to a book! I’d whiz through this book with all that you’ve learned and experienced. I just “learned” how to comment on this blog and you’ll be hearing lots more from me now! Thank you for being such a connector for everyone and seeing the group as such wonderful and curious people. Also..who fell in that lake?!
SO cool to calm so many places home!
Lots of love to everyone, Heather
BIG hug to you Liv! Love you sweetie!
Taylor,
Such a lovely post. Like others, I had tears in my eyes while reading it. I love the idea that you all are finding new friends, new ways of belonging and new homes – while not forgetting or diminishing those that you have had before (and still have). It’s a joyous thing to expand one’s world view and make the circle of friends larger!
We’re looking forward to hearing about Victoria Falls and seeing a picture (hopefully)!!
Love to you all!