The best knockoff GoGurt- ZamSip! I played it safe with the strawberry, it also comes in butterscotch!Yesterday we visited our first Curio Market! Outside the EastPark Mall there were about 15 vendors selling a variety of items – carved wooden animals, acrylic and oil paintings, chitenge clothing, and much more. While Jeff, Cade, and Taylor went inside the mall to get Zambian SIM cards, we had the hour to explore the market. Most of us entered feeling excited to view the trinkets and meet new Zambians. We exited feeling a wide range of emotions – overwhelmed, confused, and curious.
I spent the whole hour in the market and was the last of us Zags to leave. And if you know me, then you know that taking my sweet time and often being the last is a trait of mine. I’ve learned to accept being the tortoise. Yet, it was easy to take so much time because for each booth you were bound to spend at least ten minutes talking with the vendor.
A common start to the interaction would be, “Hey sister, my name is Chris, what’s yours?” And we would shake hands and he would proceed to show me his artwork. Me being me would ask a lot of questions. I tend to also do that. “What’s this made of? How long did it take you to make it? What’s your favorite piece of artwork to make? Etc.” Of course, the vendors want you to buy something after spending so much time talking and they also have advanced sales tactics, and I mean advanced. Most of the time however, we just wanted to look around. As for my exit strategy, the first four vendors I was able to leave without purchasing an item by saying, “no, thank you.” The last vendor I talked with, however, swayed me to purchase a couple items and get a “deal.” This seemed like the only possible way to get out of the stall. Then exiting the entire market, I replied to the many “hello’s” by saying, “I need to find my group. It is time to go.” So, while it seemed easy to enter conversation, the consequence was that it was extremely hard to say “no” to the vendor and to leave.
This wonderful group of zags, we are “yes” people. We said yes to coming on this trip! Yes to the unknown, to the uncomfortable, and the long travel days. (I say this as we are sitting on a ten hour bus ride to Livingstone with the windows open and ZamSip yogurts being passed around.) Cade only had a week to prepare and he even, with much gratitude, said yes.
We as a group are learning that saying no is hard. Many of us would consider ourselves people pleasers and don’t want to be seen as rude or demanding. We value empathy and the act of being relational. But, we are also learning that saying no is totally okay, is often necessary, and is a key form of self respect. The specifics of boundaries, of how, when, and why to say no, we are still figuring out. There will be many more times during the next month where we will encounter and decide this. For example, we already know we will be visiting another Curio Market and apparently the market we visited in Lusaka was our training ground… Today even, we had an opportunity to practice navigating this. What does it look like to say no to a random person who we have no relationship with, asking for money? Looking forward to continue growing. As Lily and the Lorax sang on the long bus ride today, “Let it grow.”
Now for some family messages:
From Sam – Happy birthday Meggie! Drivers watch out!
From Lily – Happy birthday Mom! I love you!
From myself – Hugs to my wonderful family and friends. Love you to the moon and back.
- Lauryn Anderson (Class of 2028)
Thank you for today’s post Lauren!
A trip to the market sounds like a feast for the senses. I love the familiar undertones of conversation that you describe. Wouldn’t the world be an even more beautiful place if we all started interactions from a loving place. The art of saying no can be tricky. I have no doubt your Zambian community has meaningful lessons to teach all of us.
Hope sleep is coming easier for all of you as you settle in to Zambian life a little more each day.
Much love ❤️
Whoops, Kathryn…of course, not Lathryn.
Lauryn! I loved this post. I’m Sarah’s sister and am so excited to live vicariously through this blog and hearing your perspectives. Similarly to you, I have trouble saying no or “disappointing” vendors and, unfortunately for myself, make an awkward exit most every time. Ask Sarah to tell you about the time I was at a trading post and hid from the vendor after I told her I would buy a ring before knowing it was $500. Sending love always <3.
Lauryn-
You left out the best part. What did you say YES to buying? (other than yogurt) Learning how to hold your ground and set boundaries is a tough one. Sarah’s older sister, Caroline, came home with 2 kittens one day, after hoping to adopt only one. Wait, I think I did the same thing too (but Dobby and Bean were the most adorable kittens). Enjoy the experience, saying yes and no. But not to kittens. Do not bring kittens home. Sarah, that message is for you.
Oh, I’ve done the same thing with kittens. Went to just pick up one and came home with 2 (a brother and sister)
Lauryn, I love you and truly loved reading your first post! I had to chuckle because it is so you! She was always the last one done taking tests in school.
You did however leave out the part about what you actually purchased. I’m sure everyone is dying to know. What did you actually say YES to buying?!?
To all of Lauryn’s traveling companions, please be patient with her and her tortoise tendencies.
You know what they say about the Tortoise and the Hare. “Slow and Steady Wins the Race”
Congratulations to all of you for surviving the 10 hour bus ride!
So glad you guys got to do some exploring today!! I hope that the adventures only get better and better. Sam and Meg, I miss you guys so much!! I had to say goodbye to all my friends today and it was so hard, especially all the seniors. Made me think of how I can’t chat with you guys for a couple of weeks. But I still hope you are having tons of fun. Love you so much!
Sounds super fun! That was a really thoughtful and well crafted blog. Hone those negotiating skills at the market — like you said, I bet those guys are real pros. Make sure to find one thing that can sit on your bookshelf to always remind you of Zambia, but you have lots of time to find just the right thing.
Enjoy the falls (tomorrow?).
The market sounds like a lot of fun! Learning to say “no” can be tough. It took me a lot of years to figure it out. I love that you are finding out now that saying “no” is being kind to yourself. I look forward to hearing about all of your adventures in Livingstone.
Also, who fell in the lake yesterday? I am betting it wasn’t Noah, but I could be wrong. 🙂
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I had a good birthday but miss you! I’ll hit a few potholes for you tomorrow 🙂
Lauren, I bet it was a little nerve-racking writing the first blog for your group, but just know you killed it:)
Yes to all you said! The balancing of boundaries while creating space for new relationships was one that took a while to get the hang of. It is amazing that you’re already noticing it! But don’t let that stop you from asking all the follow up questions, especially in the Zambezi market. Those same questions are the easiest ways to accompany the community you are in, and get to know people on a deeper level.
As for the 10-hour bus… wondering, were PB&J sandwiches made? If yes, I hope they were delicious!
Love,
Weenie
6:53pm in California, 3:53am in Zambia
Also, please update on the next blog: who fell in the lake? Just thinking about it is making me giggle.
Lauryn,
thanks for sharing about your journey on the bus today and into the market. Some of the best adventures in a new place are found on long road trips such as these. So many things one gets to see and experience on the road that don’t happen on a plane. So glad you all got to do this adventure together. Hayden and I will often drive four to five hours to a new bookstore or coffee shop in Texas, so I hope she’s having a great road trip.
Looking forward to all the stories you all share.
Lovely first post!! LOVE the consideration and weighing of boundaries, Lauryn. And yes, all y’all definitely have a lot of YES in you for being there in the first place. This experience is going to bless you and those you encounter (when you say yes *and* when you say no). I’m thinking of you all as you begin your first day of this transformative adventure! James and Jeff … thank you on behalf of all your Zambezi ’26 parents who don’t yet know how lucky they are to have you guiding their precious ones right now. What gifts!
Elisa in Oakland, California
(Mom of Mia, a Zambezi ’25 student)
Hey Lauryn!! It’s so good to hear from you and everyone through this blog and be able to hear all of the stories from your adventures. Saying no is definitely hard and a valuable skill to learn. I, too, am itching to hear what you said yes to at the vendor at your first Curio Market. Some fun souvenirs or a fashionable skirt?? That experience sounds fun but also very overwhelming and I am so proud of you all for navigating it like champs!
Miss you!
Hi Lauryn! Thank you for the glimpse into ZamFam’s continued adventures! I loved that both the “yes” interactions and the “no” interactions at the market always started with a conversation. I also loved how you were curious about each of the vendors you met. I noticed that regardless of the outcome, a genuine conversation and exchange of stories took place. I can definitely learn something from your tortoise tendencies…an honest interaction is always more valuable than racing to the next thing!
Taylor- Keep your phone covered at those falls! Love you ❤️
What a valuable learning experience! Learning how and when to say “yes” and/ or “no” is a necessary life skill.
A market venture is a great way to interact with another culture. When we (Isa’s dad and I) were in a market in Bali, Indonesia we were the first customers of the day in a couple of the stalls. The vendors took the money we paid them and hit the items in their stall for good luck, hoping for a day with a lot of sales.
Now for the next adventure (after surviving a LONG hit bus ride)!
Love you, Isa. We had a fun time in Sunriver, lots of puzzles and games. The surprise snow kept Papa from golfing, but it cleared off so I could go for a walk later.
Be safe. Be wise. Have fun!
Sissy!!!
I’m so glad your first day was just as enlightening as exciting! Those situations always make me so uncomfortable but I know each time it gets easier and easier. Your people skills are growing with each new interaction! I’m learning that with my new job as well. Met a cool very opinionated Irish man, a 50 year long Duvall local, and other familiar faces who love to chat. It’s keeping my conversational skills fresh and positive. Tips have been amazing! 50$ tip on my first shift and more to come! Can’t wait to hear more about your adventures, I love you to the moon and back always. Keep being your slow, methodical, and caring self, for that is what makes you special in all the best ways.
Lauryn, this was an amazing first post! I am so impressed at the ways you are already embracing complication between the “yeses” and the “nos.” You are correct that the Lusaka curio market is a mere warmup for the one in Livingstone, but it sounds like you will all be just fine! The conversations and follow up questions are the best part, so don’t shy away from that moving forward. Last year when our group was anxious about interacting with Zambians someone would often remind the rest of us that Zambians are humans too. It’s simple and perhaps very obvious, but always grounded me and helped me focus on each small interaction. You got this!
MP – I go home tomorrow and really really really don’t want to. But I am excited for some Chick-fil-A. Did Jeff roll his eyes at that one? If not, I’ll keep trying.
Taylor – I’ve been thinking a lot about our morning runs. I miss them and I miss you! Can’t wait for the next one, wherever in the world it may be.
With love,
Caroline
ZamFam ‘25
Wonderful I love to see what you are learning about yes and no!! Missing you so much Morgie❤️
Love Mom
Lauryn! This was such a joy to read! I could paint a picture in my mind of what these markets would be like, & what a learning curve. Sounds like everyone will be learning a lot about good salesmanship too. Wow! I can’t wait to hear about the next market experience. Sending big hugs to everyone!!
Love you Liv!
Great post and thank you for your reflections. Continue to look forward to reading about what the group is doing daily basis. Also, thank you for the birthday wishes for Lily’s mom. Let it grow!
Wonderful post. I love the reflections on saying “No.”
Thank you for this post! Brought me right back to my own time in Kenya and navigating the dynamics of buying and selling in Africa! Each day is so full of new experiences!
Love you so much Olivia! Odie says hi!
I was so excited to see this post the morning. I have been checking the blog periodically and somehow missed the kick off! It is such an adjustment switching communication norms in a new culture. I love that you all reflected on the discomfort of saying no as yes people. This seems like an amazing group and I cannot wait to hear more about your adventures:)
Thanks for sharing, Lauren. I know you will all take away great life lessons throughout the trip. Wonderful to hear how things are progressing – including the 10 hour bus ride. Meg, Phoebe’s birthday today! Big 14 – looks like pizza and lemon cake are on the menu. You are missed so much!
Lauryn! Your reflection here is really insightful, and I love your orientation toward the continued growth you will experience throughout this month. As a fellow chronic people pleaser, I recall the difficulty of navigating the market, not wanting to disrupt any cultural norms but also beginning to wrestle with the practices and implications of it all. But also, as someone who is not, at all, the “tortoise” — thank you for the valuable reminder to slow down and be intentional. I encourage you to keep up this behavior — lean in, allow yourself to be interruptible. The pace of life in Zambia can take time to adjust to, but it’s also one of the parts I miss the most. Soak it up while you can, and let it grow, let it grow!
Lauryn,
Thank you for this wonderful vibrant picture of the market and your funny/challenging interactions there. I resonate so much with your self-identification as a tortoise. Mary Pearl will tell you I often drive my family crazy being the tortoise of the group. And I’ll say to you also – it ok!! Sounds to me like you made some nice connections and also learned the art of a graceful exit. Life skills!
MP – I love you so much.We miss you and also we’re exited about your adventures. Can’t wait to hear more.
xo
Mom
Lauryn, thanks so much for your wonderful post! I can relate. It took a few decades to a realize that sometimes saying no to others means I am saying yes to me and my loved ones.
Hi Sean! – Gramps and Nona say hi, too!