A few days ago, while I was journaling, Taylor reminded me about a concept from our African American religion class. After spending a few minutes reminiscing on our professor’s incredible enthusiasm and what she would do if she were here in Zambia, we remembered Dr. Clark presenting the idea of life enhancing and life diminishing powers as a naturally existing balance within the universe. She described it by talking about a toddler so full of life and energetic (life enhancing) but also so draining and exhausting at the same time (life diminishing). The more that I sat with this idea, the more I realized that it is not simply a religious framework, but a way of understanding how we move through the world and what we give to the people around us.
While most people see life enhancing power as loud and dramatic, it can also exist on a smaller scale. Sometimes it is as simple as making someone feel seen. Sometimes it is trust. Sometimes it allows you to be vulnerable enough to admit fear, uncertainty, or dependence on others. Life diminishing power can emerge when we isolate ourselves, close ourselves off emotionally, or try to carry everything alone.
Before this trip, I mostly viewed vulnerability as a weakness, despite endlessly hearing pro-vulnerability propaganda in CLP. I liked feeling self-sufficient. I liked believing I could handle everything on my own. But traveling across Zambia with a group of people for an entire month has challenged that instinct in ways I could never prepare for. There is something about being far away from home, out of my routines, and constantly encountering new experiences that stripped away any illusion that I can exist independently.
Yesterday, standing at the edge of Victoria Falls, preparing to swing over the gorge, I confronted that truth in a very physical way. There is a moment before you jump where every instinct in your body tells you not to move. My mind searched for control, for certainty, for a guarantee that nothing could go wrong. But eventually you choose to stay frozen at the edge, or you surrender yourself to the experience.
What struck me the most afterwards was not the adrenaline itself, but the trust it required. Trust in the people securing the ropes. Trust in the encouragement from the group around me. Trust in my own ability to survive the fear. Trust that Mary Pearl and I would step off the platform at exactly the same time. In a strange way, jumping forced me to confront how much of life depends on relationships and interdependence. We are constantly held up by other people, even when we pretend we are standing alone.
This realization connects directly to the idea of life enhancing power. Throughout this trip, I have started to notice how much power exists in community and openness. Some of the moments that have felt the most meaningful have not been the “big” moments, but all of the smaller ones; making animal noises on a ridiculously long bus ride, sharing a room not only with friends but also with mosquitos and a lizard (named Maurice), laughing at Jeff’s sole desire to see one type of bird on the Safari (and nothing else), or passing out on an airplane runway in front of approximately 100 people. These moments create life. They strengthen something invisible between us all.
At the same time, I have also become more aware of how easy it is to diminish life within ourselves and in others. Fear can do that. Pride can do that. The need to appear composed at all times can do that. When we refuse vulnerability, we sometimes refuse connection as well, even from those most important to us. And without connection, something essential begins to shrink and boy does it shrink fast.
As we descend into Zambezi, I think one of the biggest lessons I am carrying with me is that growth is not always about becoming stronger in the traditional sense. Sometimes growth is learning how to lean on others without shame. Sometimes it is allowing yourself to be changed by people, placed, and experiences instead of trying to control them. Sometimes it is understanding that courage is not the absence of fear, but a willingness to move forward while trusting that you will not do it alone.
This trip has made me rethink what it means to live well. Maybe a meaningful life is not only measured by independence, achievement, or certainty, but by whether we contribute life-enhancing power to the people around us. Whether we make others feel safer, more valued, more connected, more alive.
And maybe that begins with allowing ourselves to be fully human first.
I love you all to the moon and back a million times never stopping.
Samantha Cornfeld
Zam Fam ‘26
Mom and Dad – Missing you endlessly, always. The good thing about the struggle bus is that buses always have multiple stops and opportunities to hop off.
Katherine – stay away from my bed and make sure that Megan stays away from my closet. I have exciting tea that can’t be shared on the blog because of “lurkers” (iykyk)
Lulu – Have the best time playing at state, I am so proud of you! Make sure to nail somebody at the net for me (and don’t apologize for it!)
Anders – I heard you barely beat Kate in tennis the other day. That’s embarrassing. Couldn’t be me. Don’t worry, you have lots of time to improve before I get home. Currently also just got a notification that Jane has to use the bathroom . . . you better get on that. I love you lots!
Juju L – I hope Glacier was the adventure of a lifetime and that you are not too tired of it and will go back with me next year. No worries about the roommate situation! A quick medical emergency among arrival meant that Jeff was more than happy to leave us in each other’s care. The real question is which one of us passed out on the airplane tarmac?
Juju G. – I am counting on you for a full rundown on everything that has happened to Taylor Frankie Paul since I’ve left (that girl can’t seem to catch a break). I miss your comforting presence and ma super hype to go farmers market-ing with you in Seattle; the markets are definitely a different vibe here.
To everybody reading along with us, your support means so much more than we could ever express.
Much love
Zam Fam ’26-7 (hehe)
Lily we are so proud of you and everything you are doing!
Samantha we loved the vivid way you are sharing the life lessons you are learning. Thank you for opening up in your own way for us to see through your words. Keep having fun.
Grandma and Grandpa O’Malley, Lily’s grandparents
Lily once again you continue to amaze us. We love learning from your Zam Fam how they view this Zambezi experience. As Samantha’s post talked about viewing the world with a growth mindset we know you are finding your way too.
Samantha. Thank you for the beautiful description of how we can be vulnerable and strong at the same time. Your words and descriptions are connecting us from afar.
Todd and Sarah, Lily’s parents
Samantha, I love what you said about allowing ourselves to be fully human. I can’t wait to hear more reflections as you dive into life at the convent and accompanying the Zambians you meet. Speaking of the convent, yay!! I’m so excited you are finally there! To whoever is in the room on the right side of the convent, left side of the hallway, first door: it’s a great one! You should make up nun names for each other 🙂
Taylor: I would say that I can’t believe you ran a half in Livingstone, in 1:55 no less, but it actually doesn’t surprise me at all. Impressed by you as always and so so proud!
MP: saw an Instagram reel about Taco Bell today and it made me think of you. I ran at Willamette Park with Ben this morning. The river says hi!
Love,
Caroline
ZamFam ‘25
I loved hearing from you! I can’t believe you swung over Victoria Falls, that is amazing. We miss you so much. Dad made burgers for dinner and didn’t add anything weird to them!!
Wow, this is such a great blog! It could only be written by the one and only Sammalammadingdong. Your writing is so vivid and I love the way you described the trust and vulnerability it took to do the bungee jump. Not gonna lie, I kind of thought you were the one person to not do it… but I also know you’re a super brave person who wouldn’t pass up such an awesome opportunity. The realizations you write about are life changing and it is so skillful of you to be able to write them down in such a relatable and inspiring way.
I’m missing my big sis/ tennis partner/ chauffeur/ number one opp but i know you’re having the time of your life out there! Come back in one piece bitte!
P.S you should write the tea in code on the blog because why are you teasing it like that! I want to know. You can write it auf Deutsch!
Samantha,
Great job with your write up. The part that I loved the most was in your message to your M&D. “ The good thing about the struggle bus is that buses always have multiple stops and opportunities to hop off.”. Wow that is so powerful and something that we have all experienced and need reminding of. I’m going to use that one!
Glad to hear that the flights were successful and that you are getting settled into your next adventure. I have to say,t his trip is so amazing. I get excited to see that there’s a new blog post. I love to read all the comments and support from all of your families. ZamFam 26 is an amazing village. And I’m so happy for all of you to be part of it.
Kathryn,
Charlie graduated today. You, Lily, Morgan and Jack were missed, but everyone else was there. Grandma watched the graduation online from Massachusetts. It was great. We had a fun lunch and went to Vic’s after for an ice cream. Everyone loved your post that Ululani’s is now in Sacramento. We will have to go there when you are back. Have fun. We miss your endless Dad jokes everyday. But we know that you are with a group of amazing people having the experience of a lifetime. We couldn’t be happier for you.
Taylor, nice work on the half +, Happy you are making friends during the race! Keep enjoying the journey!!!
About to take a trip to Canes thinking of you, Morg.
Granny says HI and misses you! Xoxox
Hi Morgie,
Miya is visiting for a few days and we’re going to your favorite spot for a bite to eat. I have been loving your pictures! Looks like everyone is having a wonderful time. We miss you and love you. Be safe. Grandma
Zags! We hope that you all have a great flight to Zambezi–enjoy the view!!!
Samantha–you jumped! I didn’t have the courage to do that almost 30 years ago…way to go! I’m excited to hear which was the most scary part and the 2nd most scary part ;). Way to face your challenges. Miss you tons and lots of love your way.
Samantha- I am BEYOND proud/ impressed that you took the plunge at Vic Falls. Again, a once in a lifetime opportunity. I have lots of questions about “passing out on a runway!” As we didn’t get a call I’m assuming you recovered! Way to keep Jeff and Cade on their toes! I loved reading your thoughtful post and about all you’re learning and experiencing. Enjoy Zambezi and all it has to offer.
1. Home- Wolfie visited this afternoon – cute as usual but he misses you! Dad’s garden looks great. My kitchen garden strawberries are…..lacking!
2. Tennis – Anders drove with me to state- and he seemed to survive! He took the van home- should I be offended? Cody has yet to get a new tattoo. Megan now wants a big tennis bag as she feels it intimidates opponents- ha!
3. Spokane-JG signed and submitted to landlord
4. Fall-Strasbourg is on track
5. Family-We miss you tons and are so proud of you! You ate my favorite oldest daughter!
Love you babe! ( still having tech issues/ hitting a firewall but are trying everything )
Samantha,
Such beautiful reflections. I will carry this with me on my walk through the Colorado Mountains tomorrow (ok, it is a small hike, maybe thru some hills, but there are mountains nearby). I like the big moments may not be the growth opportunities we all are taught to believe they are. Quiet moments. Shared vulnerabilties. That’s an a-ha kind of realization.
Sarah Bear. Love you to the moon and back. We went to the Boulder Creek fest today. Walked around and missed you. I embarrassed Liv by offering some of my Ukranian food to a dude next to us in the food tent. Mom moment of course (why waste food?). We’re up in Keystone now. The air is super cool and quiet.
Today is your Poppa Karas’ birthday. He would have been 91. Wow. I was thinking today about how he never would have imagined that his grand-daughter would go to Zambia. He would have been so impressed and proud. I’m sure he’s watching over you (and he made sure you were safe on the bungee). I hope he is hanging out with Vinny too.
loveyouloveyouloveyou
momma
Samantha,
Your post is beautifully written. Your concluding paragraph is everything, that is the special sauce!
Kathryn, Charlie did it! He graduated today!! While we were all there to celebrate him, conversation kept drifting to talking about your trip. Just over a week into it and so many big experiences have been shared. We miss you and we all love these daily updates.
With love ❤️
Sam – I had not heard of, and love the concepts of life enhancing and life diminishing power and especially like the connection of those ideas to trust and vulnerability (or lack of it). All the writing is beautiful, but i particularly like “courage is not the absence of fear but a willingness to trust you are not alone” – it is such a powerful sentiment and guide for moving through the world.
Ems – we need to figure out how to get Lilah/nuppies to trust that her dinner will actually show up again the following day, and she doesn’t have to keep eating the other dogs food… she is still chunky – despite the warmer weather and lots of exercise. The garden has recovered from the recent snow and the roses and peonies are blooming. Love and miss you -mums
Sam-Co,
It’s really weird that your essay today was the exact same topic I was about with a bunch of 40-50 year old bros today. We were discussing that the highest risk to old white guys is not heart disease and cancer. It is isolation. And everything you choose—your address, your hobbies, your vacations—need to be directed toward limiting your isolation as you get older. It’s not about your BMI and cholesterol. It’s about your friends.
Yes, I am here to propagate the Pro-Vulnerability Propaganda!! It’s counterintuitive, but my richer friends buy stuff that isolates them and my normal friends by coffee with their bros, breakfast with their pals, and take a walk in the park with their friends. Cheap stuff that tightens the knots in their net.
In summary, you are speaking my language here. Keep talking. Send a picture of Maurice. Pass out wherever you want—it’s a free country. If those 100 people don’t like it they can go stand on some other runway.
Emu, I have created and entire imaginary Zambia adventure for you that includes riding a giraffe. Remember to take pictures of flowers and bugs. Thank your for not dying so far. Miss you plenty!!!
Love you,
Mark-Mark
I hope you had a safe trip to Zambezi Isa! Excited to hear how this next part of the trip goes. Me and Cros both miss you!
WOHOO SAM!!! lovely note from you today
I love that you are all discovering the gift of choosing to step into discomfort and vulnerability. And that you can find courage in each other. Stepping side by side together off the ledge at Victoria Falls really puts that into literal action!! As I read these entries every day I think of the line about his heart growing three sizes from the Grinch. It seems like you all are growing bigger hearts with each day that passes. Proud of you all! Extra hugs to Graley from mom.
Beautiful reflection today. Thinking about all of you as you settle in to Zambezi.
I really appreciated this perspective—your description of trust as something that requires courage resonated with me. I especially loved the connection between stepping off the platform at Victoria Falls and learning to lean into community and interdependence. It’s beautiful to see how your experiences in Zambia are reshaping the way you think about vulnerability and connection!
Yay, Sam!! You have no idea how much seeing a post from you brightened my day. I need to do some catching up on TFP, but I’ve seen some questionable posts from her. And good news… I signed the lease today! So, Meg, I can’t wait to live with you! It’s so great to have that set, but it’s also bittersweet since I won’t be living with you too, Sam. The fall semester will be another awesome adventure for you! Safe travels and much love 🙂
Also don’t worry I caught the 67 at the end there
Nice reflection today. Hannah, we hope you are doing well right now. We all miss you so much and are thinking about you every day. Claire’s graduation weekend is going well but we wish you were here. Teddy loves and misses you very much too. Love Abe.
This was an insanely gorgeous reflection, and you depicted raw beauty in so many forms. I also love your connection to your class, I will keep life enhancing and life diminishing power in my back pocket:)
MP! Today Amelia and I played in a pickleball tournament and I so wish you were there to play, too. We either placed 3rd or 4th in our bracket and it was so much fun. I am so passionately excited to play with you soon!
I love this blog! What a wonderful way to actively reinforce what you are taught instead of just retaining long enough for an exam. Although I have only met two of you I feel like I am getting to know you all. I have safari’d in Botswana, stood and watched jumpers on that bridge, helicoptered over the falls from Zambia, and felt the spray of Vic Falls on my face. You have taken me back there with you. So happy for all of you and especially for my Margaret Suzanne! Much love, MomMom
Wow, it is amazing to read about all your experiences. You are having the trip of a lifetime and you will forever see the world differently after you return to the States. Hanmah, we miss you and the weekend here in San Diego is not the same without you. Grandma Janice was saying how much she missed you too. Claire is so lucky to have lived right here on the beach. You’ll have to see how great the photos turned out- her roommates are really sweet. We are loving having like three meals in a row on your parents, lol.
Love you so much,
Your Goshmother
Wow what a beautiful message about the power of being present in the moment and allowing for connection and vulnerability. Thank you for this reminder!
What a beautiful post! Such great insights and inspiration for us all. I teach middle school and would love to read this post to them!!
Oh no! Passing out on the tarmac. Yikes! Really happy it seems all is okay!
Onward to a new experience and adventure!
Liv-our furniture is on and the house is done and we think you’ll love the new vibe of your room here! Maybe you’ll want to stay a few extra days before leaving for Seattle! I ordered the dress..and did fast shipping! Also, we miss you very much and it’s so weird not to say goodnight and we love you! Texted with Kale today and sounds like he’s doing good and missing you!
You are loved and thanks to all the amazing people who are with you for holding each other up!! Love you!!
Hi Samantha! I loved reading your reflections and feel lucky to get a glimpse into how you are growing and learning on this journey. It makes me want to be a better me! Reading your blog reminded me that life enhancing power can exist in quiet spaces and also exists within the context of community and openness. I loved your words . “We are constantly held up by other people, even when we pretend we are standing alone.” We really do need each other!!
Taylor- Things are changing for you in big ways but meanwhile life here at home still is largely the same…Steven is still a little wild and in everyone’s personal space, I’m getting ready for camp Junebug at work (it’s finally almost here!), and your dad is still icing that shoulder and wondering if he should keep golfing ( the answer is always yes). Most of all we are missing you but are so grateful you get to experience life with this group of people at this time. We love you…and way to absolutely kill the half marathon!
Samantha, I loved hearing about this balance you’re finding between the life enhancing and life diminishing — sounds like this class was quite meaningful for you and Taylor! I admire the ways you’ve shown to yourself that vulnerability is not a weakness, and that seeking control leads to being unable to live fully in the experience. I love seeing, though the blog posts, how ZamFam ’26 has embraced trust and openness and community, and I’m sure that will continue to be a theme of the trip — especially when you have Jeff’s antics to bond you in camaraderie (how many lilac crested rollers this year?). I must admit that the picture of the front door of the convent had me a little emotional — I’m so glad you’ve arrived safely and I can’t wait to hear about all your upcoming experiences. I hope the welcome to Zambezi was reflective of that same openness and community and trust that are so life enhancing. Kisu mwane!
Samantha, That was a great reflection and a good reminder of the importance of vulnerability and community in our lives. You all have so much wisdom to share. And like others have said before me, I am glad that you all survived the bungee jump. One more worry to check off of this mom’s list. 🙂
Sorry that I have gotten so far behind on my comments. Noah, I loved your reflection. I commented on it, but it was a couple days late (oops!). I hope you all have a great first day in Zambizi.
Wowzers Sam this is the best post yet (no bias) the standard is set so high how can anyone else compete the rest of the trip!! That’s crazy how something as simple as potentially plunging to your doom and despair truly humbles someone (kidding). Truly this was very insightful and a joy to read, I did read it on my own btw only took me 30 or so minutes but I put the puzzle pieces together and made several assumptions but I got the gist. Every time Kate and I sat down for a short rest and talked the momentum would switch it was close in the beginning of each set then we would sit down for a sec and Kate would immediately cool down I guess, secret trick, won’t be close when we play a match tho. Glad you’re learning and experiencing a lot of new fun stuff, cherish every second of it. Love and miss ya.
I’m glad to hear that the first group made it to Zambezi in the little plane. I love seeing your new home and look forward to hearing more about it.
Yes, Samantha, a trip like this is good practice in vulnerability. We can’t and shouldn’t do life alone. The strongest we can be is when we are strengthened together.
Isa, today was Kropf Olympics. Trina and Libby put together some great events with a “school” theme, and of course the classic pine cone drop. My team, The Mathematicians” won! Diego and Trina won the corn hole tournament. The giant Jenga tournament finals are tomorrow. We missed you! I’m praying for you (all of you) as you settle into Zambezi.
That was mom. Her phone wouldn’t let her past the firewall
Mom and I won giant jenga!
Wow this is amazing Sam. You describe vulnerability perfectly here, it is not a weakness! I am so glad you are learning and experiencing so much!! I am excited to hear all about it!
Love you!
You have set high expectations for Hannah and Meg’s blog. I am at the edge of my seat waiting…….. I miss you and Hannah and Meggy. Let them know for me!!!
Such a joy to read your reflection Sam! We are so lucky to have the dorm gods put you and Meg (and of course Julia) next to each other freshman year. I am grateful you are sharing this adventure.
I think you are failing to mention someone here…
SAMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I’ve been waiting for your blog. I miss you so much dangit and I’m sure you feel a little homesick too but like you said you can always rely on the people around you to get through it. You are surrounded by so many wonderful people on the trip and also have so many people thousands of miles away invested in your growth throughout the trip. So glad to hear that you and Meg get to stay together—the real question is can you make a mega bed? That would be the dream. I’m officially back in MN from glacier, and it was awesome!! Of COURSE I will go back with you. I’m also thinking of going to Seattle sometime this summer, and am monitoring flights. I’ll keep you posted! Also, Meg I went for a run today and ran the farthest distance ever (5 miles) and held a consistent pace the whole time. AND I thought of you and did it Meg style AKA played music on a speaker and sang along when I needed some extra motivation. Miss you both so much and love you so much it hurts. Keep having fun cuties!!
I image these comments will be shared as you gather together Monday to start your first week in Zambezi. Hooray for these first days, you are ready! You have all put in work to prepare your hearts to learn from, companion with, and serve in this community. I love that you spent the first week in Zambia as a group honing those skills with and for each other first. Graley, today in church we prayed for you and the group and the Zambezi community you will be meeting. Y’all are also in the weekly announcement as a standing prayer request with our Newberg Oregon Friends church. Lifting you up as you walk new paths this week.
Thanks for this post and photos – it’s wonderful to have a sense of this place!
Samantha – such beautiful words about connection. What you wrote about dropping fears and prejudice is so true. And I appreciate your ideas about accepting vulnerability, and seeking trust — all important as we strive to deepen our relationships with others! Thankfully, you’re writing after the big jump … means I can assume that you and MP did both jump at the same time and also came back up!! That must have been terrifying. We are glad you’ve reached Zambezi. Have fun settling into your new surroundings!
MP – we are home! Lots to share with you about our trip, and it will wait until we are all together again. Peonies and roses are all in bloom now at home. I also want to know what bird Jeff was looking for – and did he find it? Love you lots!
Love your post, Sam! The adventures continue, as do the questions! Keep rocking it, Meg and so excited to see what comes next!
Hi Samantha,
What a deep, insightful and inspiring post. The concept of life-enhancing and life-diminishing power is new to me and I love it. The toddler analogy is perfect.
There were so many gems in this post but perhaps my favorite was: “Maybe a meaningful life is not only measured by independence, achievement, or certainty, but by whether we contribute life-enhancing power to the people around us. Whether we make others feel safer, more valued, more connected, more alive. And maybe that begins with allowing ourselves to be fully human first.” I love how you interweave trust, community, connection, and openness with the importance of vulnerability and how you challenged your view of vulnerability as weakness. And doesn’t allowing ourselves to be human (and not perfect) allow others to also be ok with those times when they are ‘not ok’? Thank you for sharing this with us. We are lucky to be learning through all of you and what you are learning.
Sam, I’m back from Tokyo and trying to get caught up. I loved reading the blog. I have a hard time asking for help, but after what I went through with my sister, I’ve learned to ask. I love all of the introspection and reflection. This is a very special trip. As for jumping off…..I want to hear more about that when you return. There is coffee in our future. Soak in every minute of this journey.