My parents used to perform a song called “Get Jam on It.” It sounds as silly as it is! When we were putting jam on toast, they’d sing and dance to the lyrics “get jam on it” over and over again. Laughing, dancing, and teasing while my siblings and I cringed for every second that it lasted, and often closed our eyes in protest. I cringed, but it was setting the precedent for the energy that I’d carry with me throughout my life. Dancing in our kitchen, performing songs by standing on our dinner table bench, and never hearing anything other than encouragement to be my full authentic self.
My ability to be positive and energetic throughout the easy and challenging moments of my life stems from my parents’ ability to focus on the positive and embrace what life throws at you. Breaking a plate or spilling milk, burning cookies or accidentally totally the minivan within the first week of having my license. Their responses have set the example that it does not take much more effort to keep a smile on your face and recognize that everyone around you is better off when your disposition stays positive.
Senior year of high school my classmates voted me Class Clown, a reflection of my daily interactions being based in humor and high energy. Community awards and leadership positions have never come as a challenge, I have always moved through life able to make friends, start conversations, and find something to laugh about. Over spring break my dad and I drove for an hour to go for a walk on the beach. We stepped out of the car and after about five seconds realized that we couldn’t see anything due to the wind and the sand. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Two hours of driving for “nothing,” except it wasn’t nothing. I can remember laughing so hard it was hard to breathe and being excited for more time in the car to listen to music.
This Gonzaga in Zambezi experience excited me primarily due to the opportunity it provides to build connections and relationships with people who have entirely different perspectives. There is a whole different set of stars on this side of the world! I felt confident in my ability to bring my energy to this new environment. I felt confident in my ability to connect and build relationships. I have moved across the country twice and found belonging both times. Expecting any part of this experience and new environment to resemble my moves from somewhere in the United States to somewhere else in the United States was naive.
The energy was easy the first week of this trip. Running through the downpour of water coming from Victoria Falls. Laughing, dancing, and laying in the puddles. Hugging each other and taking a sensory memory every few minutes. Admiring the giraffes, elephants and lions we saw in Chobe National Park. Creating a magnificent theme song, dancing (scuba-ing) at every animal we saw, and becoming friends with our tour guide, Gee. Getting to know and love ZamFam26 outside of Spokane. Landing in Zambezi and being greeted with an extremely talented choir, it still felt easy. To connect and to play with the children that seem to be permanently stationed outside of the convent.
The past blogs have all been very positive and shared a lot of the joys we’ve experienced. I want to echo my love for the Zambezi community and the way we have been welcomed. I love the music, I love the dancing, I love the market and I love the love for football. I love the vibrant culture. At the same time, I am also grappling with little girls telling me they wish they were born where I was born, that they wish they were beautiful like me. Wearing my skin color and having the accent that I do is a blatant sign of wealth and privilege, and it has felt jarring and at times disrespectful to the community to walk around and disrupt daily Zambezi life.
That early ease was further complicated when I stepped into the Zambezi District Hospital for the first time. I’ve understood that this is not a trip where we “save” or “fix.” We have the opportunity to learn and observe, but it did not make the experience any easier. I immediately felt powerless. I could not find the energy or joy that has been a constant throughout my life. Eighteen beds in the one-room children’s ward. The beds line the walls with just a yard or so in between each one. Cracks along the walls and ceiling, toilet paper being used as a streamer for decoration, mattresses on the floor, and a clear lack of resources. Mothers comforting their sick and crying children, many of whom are sick with malaria. Every morning, I take a pill to ensure I do not get malaria, a privilege that seemed small until I saw what not having access to that does. In my powerlessness I put my head down and avoided eye contact. It felt much more comfortable to let Dr. Mulongti teach us about the pathology of malaria. That is not why we are here, though.
What can I do for a child so sick her eyes are swollen shut? What can I do for a little boy with burn wounds from the waist down? What can I do for a man with maggots crawling out of his leg? What can I do for a little boy who is screaming, crying, and begging during a procedure with little to no anesthetic? My positive, energetic disposition has never felt so useless.
I know I am privileged. The university I attend, the support system I am surrounded by, and a healthy body. I am lucky beyond words, and I have known that for as long as I can remember. But I’ve struggled when comparing my life to what I understand of the lives I see being lived here. The gratitude I feel for my life at home seems almost irrelevant as I observe some of the conditions I see here. In some moments, my gratitude has shifted to guilt and my energy has diminished.
A pit of guilt sits in my stomach. Guilt because of everything I have casual access to. Guilt because who am I to stand and observe for 3 weeks, just to return to my privileged life. I feel guilty that I have never had to doubt if my family was receiving the best healthcare possible. This is an incredible privilege in the United States as well, but sitting in the male ward, seeing elderly men laying in beds with conditions made worse by the fact that they attempted to treat it at home to avoid the hours of travel to the district hospital, I feel guilty.
I am reminded that six weeks ago I sat on the edge of my grandfather’s hospital bed. The machines were annoying and disrupted our conversations, the room felt cramped, and it felt like every time he wanted to sleep someone would come in for respiratory therapy. My yearning was to spend time with him, but I feel guilty that I ever considered these things to be anything other than a privilege. The patients and doctors in Zambezi would do anything to be annoyed by machines taking vitals.
After spending a few more days in the hospital, I have had a shift. Observing the nurses and the doctors interact with each other and interact with their patients has allowed the energy that felt diminished to come back. I watch Dr. Mulongti greet almost every person he sees as he walks from the Pediatric Ward to the Male Ward and I watch the nurses collaborate to figure out the best course of action for a patient while working with limited resources. I have felt so impressed with all the creativity, community, and passion that goes into helping patients.
During rounds in the Peds ward, I found myself making eye contact with a little boy. He was cuddled underneath a blanket, clearly uncomfortable. I stuck my tongue out, because that is my first instinct when holding eye contact with a child. I immediately saw a smile spread across his face, revealing a dimple on each cheek. I continued to stick my tongue out in various ways (got really creative). His smile grew and his energy was brightened. I missed what Dr. Mulongti said about his condition and status, but I realized quickly that I valued the moment of connection and play over what I could’ve learned about his medical condition. That is what I can do. I can pick my head up and make eye contact. I can make eye contact with a mother comforting her sick daughter and offer a hand to her back and silly faces to pause the tears. I can make an effort at a Lunda or Luvale greeting and strive to Humanize every person I interact with.
Meg Baxter
ZamFam ’26
GU Class of 2028
Messages!!
Happy birthday Michael! I hope you are taking time for yourself even if you have another 10 hour shift. Love you and miss you more than you know! -Noah
DAD- I feel you in the music I am surrounded by! In the Chris Stapleton that plays while we do the dishes and in the music at mass that I know you would love (think beachy). Electric guitars even get whipped out; you would fit right in! I love you to the moon and back times infinity plus one.
MOM- I feel you in the moments of dancing! When the health group does a shake out dance party before we head to the hospital and when a secondary school girl teaches me how to move my hips. I also am wishing I had your watermelon whispering skills. I love you MORE. I promise.
Mom/Dad- Sarah, Hannah, and I had the most electric dance party in the kitchen last night. I am so excited for our next kitchen dance party. I feel so lucky to miss you both so much!
Mommom- I have always admired your ability to spark up conversations and make friends everywhere you go, I am trying to embody that trait! I am pretty sure some water droplets that touched me at Victoria Falls are the same ones that touched you years ago, and some of the animals I saw in Botswana met you and Baba already. Love and miss you so much.
Lee Ellen- I miss you bunches. I cannot believe it is summer and I haven’t been at the lake yet or had Barbara force feed me hotdogs and desserts. I cannottttt wait for the mega debrief. ALSO MCAT OF 508 BEFORE STUDYING IS CRAZY! I miss your bed and poppi and suzi. Give your fam big hugs from me! Also dennis would HATE the motocycles. LOVE YOU x1000000! Tell izzy to lock in on the blog.
Siblings- Ella you are my favorite because you comment. Not bringing a souvenir to anyone else! Phoebe I made banana bread with Mama K and thought of you.
Juju- You are so weird and I miss you everyday. Keep running because a half is in our future, with Jo of course!!! I cannot wait to jump into your arms. Sam and I talk about you daily and trio reunion is going to be insane. I LOVE YOU JUJ!
Julia G- MY FUTURE ROOMIE! I am so excited. I miss you so much and I cannot wait to live in the same house as you. I think about you when Megan, Noah, or Harry songs play…maybe we need to expand our music. I LOVE YOU!
Morgan- MOMO! I am soooo excited to hear about Delft. I love you more than anything and cannot wait for the insane debrief that is going to happen in 2 weeks. You are my favorite. Can’t wait for a Mo hug. I love you love you love you.
What you’re carrying right now, those feelings of guilt and helplessness, are the natural weight of bearing witness to suffering. The shift you described, from guilt back toward energy and inspiration, shows you’re learning to hold both the pain of inequity and the profound beauty of the care being given within it. Meaningful presence, creativity, and human connection are never useless, and you brought all of those things with you.
Sarah, I do see you there in the photo, putting henna on your bod. I do hope that there are no tattoos that come home with you. How have things been going on cooking and clean up duties? I miss you, but not the messes at home. (ok a little bit maybe). Sending you so much love, to the moon, to Zambia, and back. xoxoox Momma
Thank you for the honesty in this post. That pit of guilt in your stomach is so real. I remember my heart dropping every time a kid told me that they wish they had skin like me. It feels so unfair, so complicated, and so helpless. But you are right when you say that you can try to humanize in every interaction through the small things, like making eye contact or holding someone’s hand. We cannot take pain or struggle away completely, just like we cannot give away our privilege. But we can grow in communion with others by accompanying and being accompanied.
MP: challenge 2 complete! I made dot cakes. I am now realizing you might not even know what that is because you’ve been gone for so long?! Crazy. Don’t worry, I took pictures!
Taylor: how do we feel about Denmark? I can show you around Copenhagen and we can WWOOF! The possibilities really are endless. Skyscanner is becoming my most used app.
Love,
Caroline
ZamFam ‘25
It is good to remember that even a smile or a touch can make a difference in someone’s day. Thank you for sharing both the negative and positive sides of your stay. The fact that you all care so much can make a difference in the world and I am thankful for that. God bless you all!
Noah, We were able to talk to Michael for his birthday. He took the day off and was taking the chance to relax a little (and take his car in for an oil change). We were thankful that he had time to call us. I hope that you have a great week. Just in case I can’t post tomorrow, have a great birthday.
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Such a beautiful post. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience of being over there, especially as you navigate what it’s like to sit with others from varying backgrounds and experiences. I know these are the type of interactions, struggles, different perspectives that will shape you and the rest of the team for a lifetime.
I quit my job when I was twenty six and moved to Guatemala for about three and half months, and I studied Spanish and volunteered in a hospital in Antigua. And it was that experience that I still draw from at fifty one. In fact, my dad still talks about the emails I wrote once a week to update people on how I was doing. I share that to say, this experience you all are having will be a deep well you draw on for the rest of your lives, and will connect you all in some amazing ways.
Thanks for letting us get some insight into the struggle.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and inner feelings. While many choose to pretend these realities don’t exist, you’ve courageously opened yourself up to see and feel them and be present for the short time you’re there. Know that your presence, smile, and positive attitude is making a difference, even if only for one person.
MORGAN! Hey sis HEY! Tommie III, Aubbie, and Zoey said to tell you Hiiiii, and they miss you.
Love you muchos!
Hi Morgie! Hope you’re doing well. I tried to post yesterday but hit the big bad firewall again.
Auntie Shiela is doing good. She’s still hungry. Lol
Love you and see you soon sweetie.
Love Grandma
Meg–what a great, honest post. Thank you for sharing deeply and being vulnerable.
Samantha–Osaka, Tiafoe, and Keys are out. Sabalenka looked invincible–sooooo good vs Osaka. Mom’s kitchen strawberries are going wild and we might actually harvest one small berry this year. We fired up your projector but couldn’t find the remote so had to improvise. Love ya!
Meg- I so appreciate the realness and rawness of your post and your ability to describe the seemingly contradictory feelings you are having but being able to hold all of that as well as Jenifer/Sarah’s mom said in her post. This has me really thinking /processing and likely still will be when you all are back in the US.
Ems- I’ve spent the day at this affordable housing conference where I’ve met/listened to folks who run public housing authorities or are affordable housing advocates and also the Secretary of Housing and Urban development in the current administration – my head hurts from trying to reconcile how two groups of people observe the same condition and draw such different conclusions about both the problem and the “solution”. It’s been really meaningful to try to connect the ZamFam writing back to what I’m seeing in my own life generally but very much so here. I am learning so much from following you all. Love you love you love you- mums
Thank you for sharing your struggle, your heart and your vulnerability with us. It was both painful and inspiring to read your words as you reflect on the inequity, guilt, and privilege you describe and your attempt to make sense of it. I am marinating in this particular sentence “it has felt jarring and at times disrespectful to the community to walk around and disrupt daily Zambezi life”–so raw and thought-provoking. I appreciate your insights–it gives me much to consider and think about. I love your story about the little boy-I’m glad you could make a connection in the midst of such conflicting emotions and feelings.
Thank you for sharing with so much honesty and transparency. Your description of wrestling with the guilt and privilege, and seeing it all with fresh eyes resonates deeply from my time in Rwanda. You are being stretched, but already coming away with important insights due to your thoughtfulness. It takes so much courage to sit in the hard places and look in their eyes, even when you feel uncomfortable or powerless. Your presence is your power and your willingness to stay present is a gift….keep going.
Hayden – I miss talking to you and hearing your stories. I’m saving up my updates for when you return and also keeping a list of some new places we need to go. Madi was trying to post, but hitting the firewall. It’s a quiet week but we’re counting down until Mumford next Monday (yay!). We’re praying for you daily and always thinking of you. Love you!!
Sounds like so many new experiences and feelings. Thank you for this blog post! really touches into noticing the differences-feeling them-and finding your way to a space of connection. I too always stick my tongue out if a little kid and I are holding eye contact. That made me laugh and also just so sweet to have these moments in the middle of all the very hard things you are confronted by in the hospital. Thanks again for your insights ! I hope you’re still having lots of dance parties!!
Liv-Love you to the moon and back! Yesterday we hiked Falls Creek Falls and remembered the big bee incident there! Lol. That place is so magical and beautiful. Odie’s little legs were so worn out, He’s such a super trooper! Today I visited Valerie and Erica & they were both so excited for what you’re doing. Val had a tissue box as I told her about the past few months and going to Africa! She’s so sweet. Really cares about you! Speaking of caring about you…Miss you SO much! And loving you!! Can you believe Wolfie will be 14 in a month?!?! What’s happening?! Love youuuu!!! XO Mama
Thank you so much for the reminder of the privilege to serve patients. Appreciate your self exploration. I have no doubt you are and will be a great care giver to those in need.
Olivia we had a great hike at falls creek falls yesterday. Absolutely spectacular. Brought many wonderful memories of being there with you. Especially the memory of your confrontation with yellow jackets. Love you so much. I know you are having amazing days there. Miss you!
This is a great blog. Can’t get much closer to the circle of life — chicken McNuggets actually come from somewhere. Hope you see more of these direct connections –
You guys are about halfway done already. Hard to believe. And still amazing to see all those smiles!
Hi Meg! I have always admired people who connect so easily to others around them and I think I keep them close hoping that a little of their magic rubs off on me. You sound like one of these magical people and I know that your presence is making a tangible impact on those around you. The world is such a beautiful and complicated place and I think the best we can do is offer our strengths in the service of others. After reading your words I can say that you are doing just that!!
Taylor- Okay, it’s starting to feel long now. I miss your voice and hearing about your days. It doesn’t help that everytime I open the garage there is a monument to your townhouse. (When Zane first saw all of the stuff he legitimately thought your dad and I had become hoarders). But I am watering your plants and sitting on your couch occasionally and that will have to do for now. Love and miss you so much ❤️
Human connection comes in so many forms. Thank you for sharing the fear, pain and realization that we still can smile and have a kind word to help those who need it. Such a great post to remember that helping a person feel is an amazing part of being human.
Lily – hope that you are slowing thing down to enjoy each day for the gift it is. If you are feeling the same as your ZagFam, I know your mind is thinking (and thinking and thinking). Just keep learning every day and letting the day continue to teach and allow you to learn. Lean on your Zag community if you need it right now and try and rest that restless brain of yours. Remember Dad and I are so proud and we miss you. BUT, keep enjoying your time. Smile and stay kind. That can never let you down.
Love you Always and forever. Be Safe and TPWK!!!!! Mom and Dad
PS. a new Gracie Abhrams song came out.
Thank you for showing what counterbalances all the good of Zambezi. Not that the hard parts are bad, but they are just that, hard. I always go back to the quote that says “We are born into our lives by chance. Our birthplace, nationality, and right to live in safety and dignity is due to luck, as life is an unjust human lottery. We have a responsibility to stand by those who did not receive winning tickets”. And you are doing just that. The entire health group is, and I hope you remember that each day you witness hard things. Each day that you begin to doubt or feel guilty. You are using your privilege to learn and I don’t doubt that you will carry these days and lessons with you long into your healthcare career. Keep sticking out your tongue, and use your unique gifts to help others.
I think many go to Zambezi hoping to help and/or learn what life is like in a Zambian town… until you’re there, having one of these hard days, and you realize that the entire point of Zambezi is reflection. Reflecting on who you are in your profession, who you are as a leader and a group member, and the certain privileges you “won” in the lottery of life. Continue to lean on one another and reflect deeply.
Thanks for all the first-day of work prayers!!! Work was epic!! So much to do and lots and lots and LOTS of curriculum to memorize but also so good. I am getting just a teensy more prep than Zambezi lol — flying off the seat of my pants won’t work out here.
My girls, I can’t wait to hear all your voices and stories!! No broken toilets or mysterious stomach bugs yet?! My prayers are working.
Love,
Weenie
7:57pm in California, 4:57am in Zambia
Dear Caroline Your letter is so true and very heart breaking. It has to be hard when you can not help when they are hurting Just keep making your funny faces and be there when needed
Dearest Margaret Suzanne- With the memories of sights, sounds, smells, people of all ages in our trips to Botswana and Vic Falls I can see you feeling suddenly helpless and “out of place”. Your strength to return to the skills you have always relied on and finding connection warms my heart. I think these are experiences that happen for mist Wace Corps participants and others who throw themselves into the totally unknown. You bring my tears and smiles and I can’t wait to see you at pick-up! Love, love, love you and I know Baba would be so proud or the girl who started her soccer pursuits in a tutu growing into such a compassionate young woman!
Dear Caroline Your letter is so true and very heart breaking It has to be hard when you can not help when they are hurting Just keep making your funny faces and be there when needed
What a reflective post!!. I was born in small village in Mexico without electricity and no running water. I was fortunate to move to the US when I was 10. I carry the guilt of having so much when many of my family has very little. This experience will change all of your perspective once you return. Please don’t let this time be just an experience but also grow as a person.
Isa- Remember all the stories from the Little Mexican Boy. Loved telling them to you every night.
Love you.
What a great post. I loved the honesty, vulnerability, and self-reflection. It truly captured the learning and awareness that you all are experiencing. It must be hard at times. That is a good thing. But I also loved the raw social side that you showed in sticking out your tongue to get a reaction. That was well played and made me laugh. I’m happy for all of you to have grown through these amazing experiences.
Kathryn,
The new store opened today and we had a good turn out. It was fun to see all of the families wanting to come in to check out the new store. They were all really excited that we moved and loved the buildouts and training that we have planned. I talked with Grandma today and she told me that Tyler has been getting a lot of side jobs, now that he has a truck. She was happy for him. He seems happy with the extra work. Charlie continues to get better and still has plans to work the tourney this weekend. Jack and your Mom went shopping for Jack tonight. He looked like he was dreading it, but secretly I’m sure he loved it.
I hope your well. We miss you every day. But we are so happy for you!
Those feelings of guilt are so real. But so mature and wise to find a way to navigate through them and connect in such previous ways with people. Sitting in guilt isn’t helpful for anyone, but when it moves us to action and empathy, it can be beautiful.
Isa, I told Siera that you have her a shout out. She said “Aww how sweet! I’m so excited to hear all about her trip. It already sounds so amazing.”
I had strawberry shortcake with grandpa and Nana tonight. It was delicious! There are quite a few berries in the garden and I’m sure there will still be some when you get back.
Love and hugs!
Hi Lily, I’ve been missing you lots lately! Especially our daily multi hour yap sessions and evening walks. I tried posting a comment the other day but it didn’t work so I’m trying again with a few updates:
ANIMALS! so many animals throughout Corey and I’s roadtrip. We saw bison (over 500) , two moose (meese?) and even some lovely marmots. The baby bison were so adorable, I wanted to have one for our apartment next year. I thought of you throughout this trip, as I know you would have loved all the wildlife and nature.
Sports: I have been swept up by the NBA’s propaganda for Victor Wembanyama and I am now rooting for the Spurs to win in the nba finals against the Knicks! I also badly want the sonics back in Seattle. The Cubbies are 3-7 in their last 10, this is coming off a bad ten game losing streak. But it’s only June! Somehow the mariners have won seven straight, I couldn’t tell you how.
Life: Dua Lipa got married, Taylor Swift is doing a song for the new Toy Story movie, and I’m pretty sure Serena Williams may be returning to tennis. I’m going on my first WA summer hike this Wednesday with Elise! We will be somewhat in the mountains so I’m hoping to see some mountain marmots.
I hope Zambia has been challenging and rewarding you in the best ways over the past couple weeks. I love searching for your face in blog photos, you looked so cute in scrubs a few posts ago! Sending you so much love and strength, I can’t wait to read your blog post!!! -Marguerite
Your vulnerability in this post is incredibly impressive. I spent a few weeks in Kenya in high school, and although it contrasts Zambia, I had similar feelings and observations when I was there. Walking through hills of trash to get to someone’s home, or having students tell me directly that they could only ever dream to have a life like ours was more than defeating. Caroline and Caroline’s comments were both put extremely well, and I also think your plan to keep your head up and keep eye contact is super important. I love that you said “There is a whole different set of stars on this side of the world” because how cool is it that no matter the differences between everyone in Zambezi, you all can see the same beauty in stars and sunset?! That’s what makes the world so special. Between the earth and humans, natural beauty has no monetary value. You are seeing the natural beauty in them, enforcing it, and giving them yours in return. This form of authenticity is the greatest gift everyone in the world has access to. Retweeting what Caroline said, you are using your privilege for good. It sucks that it can be plain hard and that some places will never have the same resources as the US. But, the ripple effect can go a long way, and recognizing what you can control vs what you can’t still holds immense value.
I once helped lead a retreat, and our director told us that it just takes one person to be positively impacted by a word or an action of ours for it to cause a shift. Even if it doesn’t create an everlasting change, people remember how you make them feel, and you seem to already make them feel loved. Keep going:)
MP, the coffee grind (hahah coffee joke) is so good that I willingly PREFER my own coffee!!!!! I know right!! We never thought it would get to this point. Hallelujah. I bought beans today and the place I got them from gives you a free iced or drip coffee with the purchase. Double hallelujah, it was so kind.
Katie G: I love you so much and miss you like crazy. Happy for your adventure, but will be ecstatic when you’re home and I can squeeze you until you can’t breathe! Heading to the east coast in the morning. I’ll only be 6 hours difference from you then! Mama
Thanks for sharing about this struggle. You are brave to sit with your feelings, reflect and share here with us. You didn’t avoid, deny, or look away. You made eye contact literally and figuratively. Good for you. All of us at home are here supporting and holding each of you up with the good and the hard.
Graley, I know you are also sharing these experiences and I look forward to hearing about them. Know that we are here praying for you and the patients, families, and staff at the hospital as you work and learn. Love you sweetie!
Our fam has been trying to keep up with this amazing blog, and I just have to say how insightful it is to read. We love hearing all facets of each person’s experiences and getting a glimpse of what your days look like. Well done, everyone!
I also wanted to hop on here and say a special hello to Lauryn! Can’t wait for our own private slideshow of your time in Zambezi when we spend the 4th together. We’re expecting a Lauryn‑style curated account of your experience and can’t wait to swap Victoria Falls and safari stories with you.
Thinking of you often and sending lots of love from the Singh’s!
Thanks Singh Family for your love and support! I know, if Lauryn has time before the 4th, she will put together an amazing Powerpoint presentation for us!
Lauryn, thinking about you everyday. Missing your daily updates and Facetime phone calls. I am counting down the days until we see you!
Kiki enjoyed Senior skip day today. Can’t believe she only has 7 days of school left. I started working on her grad party slideshow, I could really use your help. LOL
Duvall Days is coming up this weekend however, the weather forecast doesnt look good.
Praying for you and the rest of the ZAMFAM everyday! Love you!!
Thank you for sharing your atruggles and evolving perspective of the situation in the hospital and the people you are encountering! It is such a time for growth. And it brings joy to think about you connecting with kids through silly faces. So wonderful!!
Mary Pearl, we went to JHS graduation yesterday – it was a beautiful hot day and a great celebration. We think about you every day, are curious about your schedule and appreciate the updates and pictures. We miss you!! Sending love, and hugs, Mom
Loved the Blog today. Many of us resonate with your thoughts. Your words brought me right back to my own adventures in the jungle of South America. To this day I am unable to shake the transformational impact of my time living in the midst of a group of people that had “so little” to western ideals, and yet everyday was like a sea of smiles and laughter. The vision of those people, much like the folks in Zambia that I am hearing so much of, begs the question, in my mind at least, whether privilege and wealth always go together.
Graley, All is well here, a nice Monday with warm weather. Mom and I talk about you all the time. We look forward to hearing about your own process, experiences and smiles. Blessings G
Pops
Thank you, Meg, for these grippingly honest and vulnerable reflections. So much of the Zambezi trip is framed as a beautiful opportunity for connections and learning and community — which is undoubtedly true — but that leaves out the clear and visceral reckoning with these feelings of guilt, confusion, privilege, and shame. It’s so hard to disentangle what we do in Zambezi from the ideas of saviorism and missionary work — or even from tourism and surface-level “experiences” — and perhaps those can never be entirely separated. But I love the conclusions that you draw from the little moments of humanity when making funny faces at a patient, or from the collaboration and passion of the medical team. You’re processing and trying to unpack so much here, and I encourage you to keep doing that work — yet also remind yourself that there will be no clear answers. It’s never going to feel perfect, or entirely comfortable. And that struggle is part of the journey too. Keep making funny faces and finding the moments to admire community and strength in the people you are trying to accompany. And keep holding onto gratitude, even if what you’re grateful for can be complicated.
Meggy! So many tears of joy as I finished your post. So much to share but much can wait until I give you a big hug. Two things stand out – the stars are different here. Noticing the environment and being aware that life is complex and different means you don’t just walk through life. You see what is happening and it matters. Then your line after Dr. Mulongti spoke about the impacts of malaria, That’s not why we are here.
The essence of your post is the value of the human person. That ALL have inherent dignity and respect. Resources are different but all can get our time and attention. I am so proud of you and your willingness to work through the struggle to learn more about who you are and the type of person you want to be.
I love you, I love you, I love you to the stars in the Zambezi sky and back times infinity.
Oh, Meggers. I shed more than a few tears reading this. In the end I think they were mostly tears of joy. Joy that your world is expanding. New people, new places, new experiences, new feelings. Where ever you find yourself you actively build connections and forge deep friendships. I am so privileged to be your mom. Love love love you. Stay away from bears. And chickens should stay away from you. -Mom
Aunt Wendy is reading and loving the blog. She was having lunch with a dear friend and Wendy shared how much she is enjoying it. Folloying is a message from her friend. Know that the vulnerable insights of ZamFam ‘26 are moving people.
“ Oh my gosh Wendy, I’ve only read Meg’s blog so far and I was choking up with pride and amazement and laughter. Stuff like this makes me weep these days. Thank you so much. I will zip to the bottom and read more soon.”
Meggy!!!! Wow, when I think you can’t amaze me more you go and write such a thoughtful, honest, and vulnerable post. While I understand your feelings of it not being enough given the situation, I have no doubt that everyone who meets you and interacts with you feels better, stronger and more supported as a result. Selfishly, I will say thank you for the reminder that how we act/react is so much more important than what we do and how much we get done. Yes, we come from a place of privilege, but you see that and use it as motivation to be a leader, a role model and a champion rather than a “fixer” or “savior”. I am so proud to know you and so incredibly thankful and grateful Theo has his big cousin Meggy to look up to and learn from as he grows up. I have shown him some of the pictures on the blog and his one questions has been “why isn’t Meggy playing any soccer there?” 🙂
I LOVE YOU!! You amaze me and today (and always) I will carry your message with me as a (much needed!) reminder on what is important. Big hugs to all of your Zamfam friends there!
Hi Katie! Miss you so much. I’m so tempted to order so temporary tattoos from amazon, so we can be wearing them all summer. I know you are having so much fun and I can’t wait to see you. We should also go to sunsplash when you get back!!
Meg! This is such an incredible reflection, and so true. I can personally attest to the totaling of the minivan…
It really sounds like you’re making the absolute most of your time there and having the experience of a lifetime. Will my best friend come home pre-med… Since day one, I’ve said you’d make an amazing pediatrician, and the story about sticking your tongue out is only more evidence of that.
I’m excited to interrogate you about every future plan and aspiration once you’re back home — whether that’s in my bed ranting for hours or out at the lake. I have no doubt this experience is going to bring you so much clarity about the kind of future you want for yourself, and I’m really excited to hear more about it and see everything you end up accomplishing.
You better be keeping a detailed journal. I’ve basically been keeping mine by texting and snapping you nonstop like usual, so prepare for a mega spam once you have your phone back.
Keep being the ray-of-sunshine, class-clown, hot-dog girl that you are.
Much love,
Lee Ellen
(P.S. I’ll yell at Izzy and share with my parents.)
I get to see you so soon, and I’m ridiculously excited. We’re packing those few days with lake time, good food, sunshine, and lots of catching up.
Meg –
I cried as I read your honest and raw reflection. Beautifully written. Your time in the hospital sounds so challenging and rewarding. I smiled as I pictured you in my mind’s eye sticking out your tongue. talk about universal means of communication!
We miss you so much. can’t wait to see you and hear all about this most amazing opportunity in person.
so incredibly proud of you
xoxo. Carly
I read your post last night and have been thinking it over. There is so much struggle and suffering in our beautiful world. This quote from Leonard Cohen seems to fit here, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.
Keep being kind and making silly faces…be the light.
Wow MEGGY MEGGY!!! You continue to inspire me, you always have the right words to describe feelings and experiences. You’re such a light in my life and I am so happy that light can be shared with others!! Everyone deserves a MEGGY in their life! You are so right, sometimes you don’t realize the privilege you have. Experiencing and visiting other parts of the world really changes your mindset. I understand the guilt, no body chooses where they are born. It feels unfair. Let’s spread gratitude and positivity for everything we have been gifted. There is always another perspective to a bad situation. I pray this situation helps heal parts of you. I can’t wait to catch up so very soon! Keep spreading your positively and fun energy!! I can’t wait for a bff hug!!! LOVE YOU FOREVER SO MUCH!! U amaze me and I am so proud of you!
MEG!! Sorry I’ve been mia but wow you are so awesome. I have told people about how one of my best friends is gone for the summer but then when they ask what you are doing I don’t even know how to begin to describe it. I can vividly imagine you sticking your tongue out. I feel like you are such a good person to be doing this. Your positive energy has always been contagious. This reflection was awesome. Very profound per usual. I’m so proud of you! I miss you so much and I am so excited to debrief when you get back. By the time I get home, it will almost time for you to get back as well! I love you so much, keep being you!
MEG!! I can’t believe I missed your blog by a day!! I just drove out to Vermont for two days and am finally here with Jo, helping to move her in. Your story made me tear up—your personality comes through your writing so much, and you were able to articulate such complicated feelings so well. You have no idea the impact you have on those around you and how people fall in love with you the second the meet you. Sam, Roland Garros sucks I hate it and I’m mad. Everyone I cared about is out. I don’t even care who wins it anymore. Also, I made chili tonight at Jo’s apartment and it made me miss cooking with you. Soon at our reunion we will cook!!!! Love you all so much, and see you soon. Keep using your positivity to change the lives of everyone around you.
Meg, I’m late to this party and I hope you find this message some day.
I work in the county hospital in Denver and I take care of mostly poor people. Homeless, immigrants, currently and recently incarcerated. I grew up in a fancy suburb and went to fancy schools. I get to exercise and eat healthy food and sleep in a warm safe bed every night. I am always grateful for my parents and teachers and opportunities. But I never feel guilty because I am an instrument. I am a tool for compassion. I bring dignity and humor and respect to people who have been discarded by society. I teach medical students and residents to treat our patients as human beings. Intelligent, wise, experienced, and worthy of compassion, respect, and time.
You’ll have to find your own path but I’m here to tell you a path exists. You can take every privilege you have received and apply it to your mission. You don’t have to give up and go numb and settle into your comfortable place where you receive more than you give. Find your purpose.
The floors of my hospital can be a scary place. People suffering from addiction or missing their medicine for schizophrenia for a few months are not familiar and comfortable at first. They weren’t for me. At all. But I have an instinct to walk towards trouble and go where other people are running away and there and I can apply all the love and attention and compassion and patience people gave to me to some people who never had any of the opportunities I had. There is something sort of setting right or evening up about it.
And it’s fun to spend my days in the richness of humanity. Raw and real and beautiful. Find your place and you can put your good life you’ve had to good purpose.
Mark
you are so muffin and ur story is actually awesome and i teared up im so proud of you. KILLING A CHICKEN? WHAT? I hope ur having so much fun and I hope you get to write a comment again soon. I miss you tons. Rn i am currently drying my pants cus i spilled all over them and i leave for work in 5 minutes. Speaking of, i saw ur dad at work the other day!!! Yay i love your family and I miss them. I tell all my work friends about you and show them pictures from this blog. I love you sm and I can’t wait to see you in more pictures.