When the going gets tough….

First, I want to open by saying that I hope everyone back in the States had a blessed and blissful weekend and that, while we are all on the adventure of our lives here in Africa, we miss and think about you all daily. Before I reflect back on our time the past couple days I want to present a quote that has been my personal anthem during every moment of triumph and struggle in life.

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

I came across this quote when I was walking aimlessly around my hometown TJ Maxx and stumbled into the aisle with all the cookbooks, stationary, and journals. A journal with a simple black cover and Emerson’s quote struck a chord and I knew that somehow his words would serve as a constant reminder throughout my journey not just in Africa, but in life. Little did I know then how pivotal Emerson’s words would soon become, for I have been slowly broken by this experience in Africa. Broken by the stories, struggles, feelings of hopelessness, privileges I had once taken for granted, and sometimes even the smiles. For some that was especially true these last couple days while in Dipalata. This rural village, about an hour away from Zambezi, tested much of our strengths, stomachs, and spirits. Many of us experienced a series of struggles that physically, mentally, and emotionally broke us and left us feeling disheartened and discouraged. From sleeping on concrete floors that consumed every ounce of heat our body produced to escaping a swarm of unanticipated bees, the experience proved unique however difficult. Yet, amidst all the brokenness we might be feeling, there is also fulfillment present to mend the cracks. In Dipalata, I felt immense fulfillment through the unmatched hospitality we received. To see these people so willing to offer up all they have for us, when in reality they may not have enough for themselves, melts my heart and soul. We now have a goat in our courtyard back in Zambezi to prove it! I was fulfilled by the melodic sounds of children laughing, community members singing, and relationships forming around the comforts of a Zambian bonfire. More than anything though, I am fulfilled by the tenor of Zambian spirits when faced with unfathomable adversity. Never have I seen so much joy in a person’s heart or gratefulness for everyday given than within the Zambian people. It makes Emerson’s anthem resonate that much more, as I internalize every sight, sound, and smell. A prime example of this joy and gratitude that comes into my mind is of a gentleman named Sandu, who lives in Dipalata and travels to Zambezi to take our leadership course. This man has aspirations of building his own orphanage in Dipalata and has already undertaken two orphans as his own. He travels back every weekend, and is always one of the first to arrive Monday morning at the start of class. Although Sandu must bike 30km in the sand for a few hours each way, he never ceases to smile and radiate positivity. Just a few hours ago I found out his bike was stolen because he let a friend borrow it to take their sick daughter to the hospital. The bike was taken in the short moments it took for the man to check his daughter into the hospital. If this were to have happened to me under the circumstances Sandu faces I know I would have felt defeated. However, Sandu smiled and just appreciated that he still had two legs to walk (even though the walk takes 6-8 hours). I find myself compelled to strive for making the most of myself because day in and day out I am overwhelmed at how easily this comes for many Zambians like Sandu.

While Dipalata may not have lived up to all the hype we had heard from previous years, the simultaneous feeling of brokenness and fulfillment left me with a strong sense of how I, Hanna Edens, can go about making the most of myself. I must accept and appreciate moments of vulnerability, continue to expose the raw pieces of my spirit, and know that with each day I am broken I have my family here in Zambezi to support me as I make my way to finding fulfillment. When Lucy, Ally, and I played Inside the Actors Studio the day before boarding the plane and Lucy asked me what my favorite word was, I had no idea the effect this word would play on my experience in Zambia. Yet, the word fulfillment has somehow managed to become tightly intertwined with my stories and reflections on Zambia thus far and led me to making the most of myself and each day presented.

Kisu kisu mwane,
Hanna Edens, Class of 2015

P.S. A quick shout out to my family: Mom, Dad, Sara, Leah, and Erica, I love and miss you guys. Give Doja a kiss and lots of lovin for me.

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21 Responses to When the going gets tough….

  1. Lynda McCann says:

    Hanna…I absolutely loved the story of Sandu and his stolen bike…i love that you shared how positive the Zambian people are even with all the adversity they face! What a beautiful lesson for us all…”When life hands us lemons…make lemonade;)” Too often we take things for granted! Not that this compares, but I was taking all your blogs for granted and this weekend without them I found myself missing Kaitlyn more than ever and even started to worry…your posts have all been my window to Zambia and to Kaitlyn. Thank you all for keeping us posted everyday… I love and miss you Katie! (((Hugs))) to all! Xoxo

  2. Kevin McCann says:

    Thank you Hanna for the powerful reminder that we need to appreciate the blessings we are surrounded by here in America. This experience you have all embraced will change you forever.
    Katie – our weekend plans to work on the yard were slowed by the constant Spring drizzle here in Tacoma; your mother did get a few new pots/plants for the front porch which will soon be the envy of the the cul-de-sac 🙂 Kourtney has started work at Wild Waves (despite the rain, they have opened for Memorial Day weekend) and Wendy is obsessed with softball..”can we pitch? Will you pitch to me so I can practice hitting”? Your mother remains obsessed with the blog and has even checked it regularly this weekend even though she knew you were all in Dipalata and unable to post.
    It’s almost embarrassing to give you updates on our American lives after reading Hanna’s post. Our obstacles and daily challenges here are so petty in comparison to those in Africa. It reminds me of the twitter hashtag you taught me last year…#firstworldproblems. The phrase, used to illustrate the absurdity of issues that people in affluent countries complain about, is so much more real now that you have given us the context of your African experience.
    We are all so proud of you and can’t wait for you to be home. Travel safely and make great memories.
    Love – Daddy

  3. Andrew McMannis says:

    I enjoy reading about all the emotional experiences that you guys are going through. It especially makes me think when I hear stories about how people that have so little for themselves are always willing to give up so much for others.

    Hailey, I hope you’re having an amazing time and that the experience is life-changing in many ways so far. I can’t wait to talk to you and hear all your stories when you get back. I was down in Bellevue yesterday with Brad and we were going to stop by and say hi to your family real quick but they weren’t home! Also, my job is going really well so far this year. I’m working in the lab again and they have me managing a high priority research project so it makes me feel good that they are confident enough in me to put me in charge of that. I miss you so much and think about you every day, I hope these last two weeks are just as amazing as the first two!
    -Andrew

  4. Larry and Lori Newman says:

    Wow, that was a great post. Every day these posts reflect the raw and often harsh realities of life in a developing country. Yet despite the obvious hardships and struggles a real sense of their humanity emerges. It’s also fascinating to watch the evolution of the Zags and Coug as evidenced in the postings. Clearly smiles and laughter, love and compassion are universal. I’m thrilled that you all and especially Megan get to participate in the cosmopolitan 3 week retreat that will undoubtedly shake up your attitudes and beliefs.

    A few days ago I mentioned that I was hoping Megan wouldn’t bring home a malnourished goat. Now that I found out that there’s a goat living with you guys in Zambezi I’m starting to get nervous!!! Although being practical I’ve started building a goat pen out in the back yard.

    I’d better get back to it now so …………..gotta go!!!!!!!!!!
    love Dad

  5. No One says:

    I really hope that previous goat transportation means were not used again to bring that goat back. And if they were…hopefully you didn’t drive through a brush fire again.

    Teo, I’m thrilled your back in Zambezi. You added so much to our group’s experience, and I have no doubt you’re doing the same again. I really admire the path you’ve taken at GU and the attitude with which you walk it.

    Josh, you’re okay too.

  6. Monte Marti says:

    Thanks for the post. It is awesome! The picture you are painting of the Zambian people is one of commitment, perseverance and determination. They are willing to adjust to the circumstances of the day ~ whatever that might be. You too are grabbing on to that reality. You are embracing the reality of your experience. These words from the blog sum it up:

    “I find myself compelled to strive for making the most of myself because day in and day out I am overwhelmed at how easily this comes for many Zambians like Sandu.”

    You make me smile. GOD BLESS! Monte

  7. Brenda Sutton says:

    These experiences, with all the trials and tribulations, seem to make all of you delve into some soul searching, pondering the meaning and purpose of life. Hanna, you write about fulfillment in your post. I have found that when fulfillment comes from within, life is more meaningful and authentic. This Zambien journey seems to be a continuing opportunity for fulfillment and self-discovery on a daily basis for all of you.

    Garrett, we missed you at the lake this Memorial Day weekend. Think of you every day and am so proud of you. Your dad and I sang “Happy Birthday” to Sue today! She misses you too and says to say “hi” and hopes you enjoy the adventures of the next two weeks.

    Love you and miss you, mom

  8. Taylor Warren says:

    It fills my heart with joy and brings fond memories flooding back to me to read your reflections. It is weird to think that probably none of you know me, but I went to Zambezi in 2009. I always get so excited when a new group goes to Zambezi because I cannot wait for another group of GU students to experience that magical place.

    All I can say is, open up your heart and let this experience change you. My time in Zambezi was a huge turning point in my life; I can pin point the moment that my life shifted directions and took me to where I am now. I strive every day to be a servant leader to the community where I live and work. I am still learning what that means and how I do it and I am so thankful to Zambezi for igniting that desire in me.

    I will be following the blog very closely, drawing inspiration from what you all are doing. Maybe we have some future Peace Corps Volunteers in the mix. 🙂

  9. Teresa Baldwin says:

    Hanna and all of you facing new stuff every day…and of course to my Lucia bean. We here at home find ourselves missing you intensely missing you at odd moments during the days and for me, that is always a prompting to pray.. Do you think those moments for us coincide with your moments of defeat and discouragement? I do. There is no time difference for our Lord Jesus and our hearts are knit together though we are far apart. May this time,these days of vulnerability build in you a transcendent compassion for all who struggle and suffer. May you be comforted and held close to the heartbeat of Christ as you go your way. May you welcome the fact that you are forever changed.
    Lucy, my heart aches a little missing you but can’t crowd out my sweeping pride in your journey and those of your mates. Walk on baby girl.
    Love from momma, dad, Jolie ,Mara and captain jack

  10. carole marti says:

    Shaun there you are!!!! Love you and miss you so much!

    Loved this blog. Love and hope were sprinkled with feelings of hopelessness and despair on the part of the local people. What is so amazing about this is that you all have not been in Zambia all that long and the blogs come through with these mixed emotions loud and clear – how the people of Zambia and much of Africa live all their lives. I know that this trip will make a mark on your souls that will never be erased and that many of you will likely look to do something with your life that is related to people with so many needs. With it being Memorial Day here in the USA, we remember those who gave their lives and have served our nation to keep us with freedom of choice. For you, Memorial Day will always be something you will remember the people of Zambia and the emotions and feelings. Thank all of you also for serving!!!!

  11. Andrew Baker says:

    Thank you for your post. After a couple of days without your group’s post that I really missed not hearing from one of you. Your posts are thoughtful, inspirational and have touched my heart. As a parent, I am so proud of all of you!

    Hailey, I love you and look forward to hearing more about your adventure. Keep up the good work. Blake, Mom and Monty miss you. Love Dad.

  12. Nanna Thompson says:

    Hanna, your post brought tears to my eyes. Your Poppo and I are SO proud
    of you and especially admire your sense of humility and who you are and
    strive to be.
    How much fun we are going to have in a few weeks hearing all about Zambezi
    and looking at the pictures you took. We are so glad you have this life experience to share.
    God Bless You and all your fellow Zags.

    Love you,
    Nanna and Poppo

    PS: If there was a way to buy Sandu a bicycle we would like to do it,
    you might ask Dr. Armstrong.

  13. Amber Siciliano says:

    Thank you for your amazing post Hanna! I seriously love reading all of the blogs and hearing about all of the experiences and adventures you are all having. I loved that you told us about Sandu. His outlook on life is not only extremely inspirational, but heartwarming as well. To be able to smile and have a positive attitude even though his commute is much longer now, just shows the kind of person he is. Our worries and complaints seem so minuscule compared to what the Zambian people face every day, yet they continue to maintain a positive outlook and smile on their faces. Thank you for such an inspirational blog.

    Katie!!
    There is seriously not a day that goes by where I don’t think about you or talk about you… I actually brought you up in one of our lessons in my anthropology class!!! My instructor was talking about Africa and about the apes and monkey’s that originated from there and all I could think about was how my best friend was there right this second! I told him and the rest of the class that you were in Zambia and he was so intrigued and surprised to say the least! He told me to wish you a safe trip! 🙂

    And I apologize again for not replying to every post! I was in bed Friday and Saturday because I got a really bad ear infection in my right ear which led to my ear drum rupturing… 🙁 My ear is still plugged but there is not pain anymore so I’m okay!! 🙂
    Mac misses you too and can’t wait to play board games and hang out again this summer when you get back from Africa and he gets back from Alaska! 🙂

    I hope you are having the time of your life and making so many memories!! I seriously cannot wait to read your post!!! 🙂 I MISS YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!and cannot wait for you to be home! I love you best friend!! <3

    P.S Bachelorette starts tonight and I have it recording just in case you want to watch it when you get back 😉 xoxoxo love you!!

  14. Ann Edens says:

    Hanna, Nana called me and told me you had a post and how nicely written it was, I was anxious to get home from work to read it. How did I know that your picture would involve having children around you. I was glad to see your smiling face. It sounds like you are getting everything you wanted out of this trip plus more. I know this is a journey you will never forget or the others in your group. I like everyone else find myself checking the blog everyday to read about everyones experiences. Thank-you all for bringing Zambia alive for us back home.

    Your sisters and I are all counting down the days until school it out. 8 1/2 more to go. We think about you often. Love Mom.

  15. Hikaru says:

    Hanna, wow wow wow. So so insightful; thank you. ZamZagFam2013 is full of very thought-provoking, eye-opening, heart-filling quotes! I LOVE QUOTES! Thank you to all of you who really have opened my eyes and heart to life in general these past few weeks. DIPALATA!!! or …Dipalata…. two ways of looking at it, but man-oh-man, Dipalata is full of life-lessons. Emerson’s quote is wonderful, I’d like to add my two cents (insert wink 😉 )
    Make the most of today and each moment to come during the next few hours. Start with a smile, serve with a smile, and part with a smile because this is it. This. Is. It.

    Sending my love,
    Hikaru

  16. Steve Watson says:

    Dear Hanna, I am so blessed after reading “When the going gets tough….” I read your post…and then read it several more times. Then I read the post from last year, reflecting on the road to Dipilata, written by my daughter, Stef. The similarities between what the two of you experienced and wrote are amazing. Broken, discouraged, helpless, but at the same time, overwhelmed by the joy and love shown to you, and filled with great purpose. You met Sandu, she met Pepytex. Line after line, I was reminded of the effect this small village, and those in it, have had on your lives, and all our lives. Perhaps the power of this visit is that it is what makes Africa so real to you, and as such, it will stay with you forever. I couldn’t help but think of the Apostle Paul and the transformational experience he had on the road to Tarsus. I believe that “When the going gets tough,” God is often speaking to us with a very clear voice. You certainly listened…and passed on the blessing to all of us. Thank you. You are all in our thoughts and prayers each day.

    P.S. Kudos to the goat. The 2013 version certainly fared better than Billy 2012!

  17. Katie Blackburn says:

    Hanna, love reading your heart here, and I hope that you have many more memories of “fulfillment” during the rest of your trip!
    -Katie

  18. Megan Wertman says:

    ZAGS.

    It’s raining in Spokane today, and it was cloudy all weekend, and I woke up this morning and realized I hadn’t read the blog in a few days. WOW. It brought sunshine to this rainy day for sure. Even though it has been two years and three days since I blogged from Zambezi, I still feel like it happened last week. You will continue to feel fulfilled by this experience and be reminded of it constantly. I remember getting to Zambezi and thinking, “This is nothing that I expected.” Over and over again, during reflection time or chatting with my fellow travelers, the same thing kept running through our minds – and it was so beautiful. If I could do it again (and I WOULD do it again, in a heartbeat, any day in my future life), I would get on a plane with the mindset of dropping all expectations and just being present. Open your heart to things that are hard to handle, and remember that these people are happy working hard, and they are happier having you as friends. Continue to grow with your group members, embrace every struggle, and always laugh.

    Is anyone friends with Mudondo? Daniel? Nancy? Vincent? If so, tell them Megan loves and misses them very much!

    Kisu Mwane,

    Megan
    Zags-in-Zambezi ’11 Alum

  19. Nanna Thompson says:

    Hanna and fellow Zags, we just want to tell you how much we have
    enjoyed your daily blogs and how proud we are of you all.
    It is heartwarming learning about your experiences and how you
    and Zambians have true and lifetime feelings for each other. This
    was truly an opportunity to make wonderful memories forever
    for both yourself and for your fellew Zambian.
    We will be praying for your safe return next week, have lots of fun
    on your holiday trips.

    Love,
    Nanna and Poppo

  20. John says:

    HANNA!!!! 🙂

    Well your post was nothing short of amazing, just as I suspected that it would be. It seems as though you are doing what you have always wanted to do, and seeing that makes everyone back here happy, especially this guy!! That story you told was fantastic, I have read it everyday since you have posted it. (I replied to it when you posted it, but I did it from my phone and it never went through 🙁 But anyway, the impact that you had on everyone over there was something great for them I’m sure, your a great girl and can brighten anyones day with that smile of yours. Im glad to see that your living one of your dreams right now, although I’d love for you to stay over there and keep doing what you doing, but I think I can speak for everyone here in the states that we cannot wait for you to get home and tell us all of your stories!!

    Have a safe trip home Nanners 🙂

    Love and miss you!

    Your Soldier,
    Pv2 Miller

  21. Angie says:

    I am so very proud of my son who is on this trip! The summary of the trip is so inspiring. Thanks for opening up and broadening our vision to such a loving Zambezi community. I learn from your experiences — from hearing about Momma K’s drive to educate her family, and others… I love the zest the Zambians have for learning… for taking advantage of precious opportunities that come their way– with enthusiasm and determination. Have fun in Livingston!

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