I’ll begin by admitting that I was the first to mess with the blog schedule…sorry everyone! I actually became very sick on Tuesday night, worse than I can ever remember (don’t worry Mom and Dad, I am very well now!). I am blessed to have Susan, Conner and the rest of our Zamily. I would have been much more miserable if it weren’t for their constant comfort.
Spending the day in bed gave me time to listen and think and observe the daily grind here at the convent, reminding me what an incredible place we are living in, and with such a wonderful group. It’s nearly impossible to translate my feelings into words on a blog, let alone choose one of the plethora of ideas swimming in my mind. I know these reflections will not be complete until long after I return home. I have experienced moments of both unhindered joy and deep sorrow, and have already felt the fruitfulness of living in another culture. Though we are studying abroad through Gonzaga’s leadership program, I realize I haven’t thought about leadership on a daily basis. Maybe it’s because the traditional definition of top-down leadership isn’t applicable or appropriate here. Through my year at GU and now through the people I am spending time with here in Zambezi, more and more I’m coming to believe that servant leadership is about meeting needs.
Our work here in Zambia is less about “us” teaching “them” and more about reciprocity – everyone teaching one another. Meeting needs as a servant leader in this way is not what I’d expected. I’ve been discouraged at times by my inability to fully love each of the dozens of children who need a hand to hold. I must remind myself of the more complex needs I am called to address while in Zambezi and its surrounding villages. A servant leader who is committed to meeting needs should think critically about her time, resources and goals when choosing how she serves. Successfully meeting needs is not simply providing resources where resources are lacking; it requires a certain awareness, willingness and love that dares to cross borders. She must give, and she must humbly receive. Sometimes she needs to step forward, sometimes take a step back.
Meeting the need happens when you accept the never-ending generosity of Mama Gertrude during your homestay. You follow Gertrude’s authentic nshima recipe over hot coals under the stars. You feel somewhat like you’ve intruded upon the lives of the six people living in a modest home, but they tell you over and over yes, yes please, thank you, you are welcome. You are welcome here. You eat with her family without lifting a finger and sleep in her cleaned bed and bathe in the warm water she spent an hour preparing for you. Together you walk to church, sing and dance your heart out and you and Gertrude laugh from your belly with all the other Zambians in response to your awkward dance attempts. You thank her ten times over, knowing fully that your thanksgiving will never repay all she gave to you.
It’s when you’re dancing for an hour in a village circle with twelve-year-old Micha shaking your groove thang and wholeheartedly laughing till your face hurts and your feet are brown with dust and you’re darn tired, all because you know you simply need to say yes in that moment. You tell Micha to stay in school and work hard and she is going to change the world. When you say goodbye she calls you sister and you know that you’ve touched each other in a lasting way, although you’ll never meet again. The fatigue of that evening readily gave way to the need for fellowship, and your fellowship was fruitful.
It’s even when you’re walking down a dusty path in Dipalata. The homesick feeling starts to take root. You could easily close into your circling thoughts, yet you must command yourself to remain where you are, to dwell on the river and the smiles and the lush scenery. You choose to remain open because the nature of this place and these vibrant people demand your attention. You begin to snap pictures of a few children, and this ends in an episode of funny faces and giggles and running. You stepped forward into the opportunity and met a need you had no idea was waiting.
It’s when you find yourself in a huddle of children reading “Whoever You Are” after a few girls pleaded for a story. Your reading captivates the children. The young boy at your side quietly starts to read. You encourage him to keep reading, he and you switching back and forth rhythmically in unspoken understanding. You are mesmerized by the boy’s confident, measured, melodic words and for some reason your soul is filled to the brim. You gave what the children needed; they unknowingly gave it right back to you.
You’ve no idea what will be required of you upon arriving in Nsangula. Your group has come with lessons in nutrition and childcare. You sit in chairs under a shady tree in the breeze as your students gather around. A short while into the lesson your group looks beyond the immediate audience and suddenly notices the sprawling crowd that has gathered, at least two hundred men, women and children. Your lesson is now a village-wide event. The people are hungry for information, willing to listen and deeply grateful for your presence in their secluded community. You decide to rise to the challenge—literally you rise out of your chair to speak the message burning in your heart, telling the community with slow deliberation that they are the leaders who can make a change in their community, in Zambia, and that you want the girls to stay in school and study hard and do great things. You were not prepared for this soapbox moment, you do not feel competent in this position, but somehow they handed it to you and you stepped forward.
Being a servant leader in Zambia is challenging, and the things we are called to give and receive are hard. Sometimes I am set on a pedestal of undeserved power and reverence I never asked for; these are the times I need to accept my position and give all I have. Other times I am overwhelmed by the unrelenting generosity of these wholesome people; in these humbling moments I must keep receiving. Whether the need at hand is to give or to receive, leaning inward with love for the people around you, I feel, is the beginning of servant leadership. Often I believe the Zambians are stronger servant leaders than myself, exuding such a fullness of self-assurance, trust in those they are serving, and endless love. I will continue to admire and learn from the Zambians’ incredible hospitality that amounts to a love greater than I’ve even attempted.
“To whom much has been given, much is required” (Luke 12:48). Giving and receiving here in Zambia is not only challenging, but paradoxical. Our blessings of education and resources and more compel us to serve those who are less fortunate, as a few students have already talked about. But here we are in Zambia, receiving abundantly everyday from those we came to serve. The people have very little, yet they give and they praise Jesus and then they give more. Their generosity compels me to give on a larger scale. I pray I can carry on the light these people have sparked.
Love and hugs to all my friends and family back home. To Mom, Dad and Christian, I hope the move went well and give Mia an extra treat for me. I miss all you people like crazy and cannot wait to share stories in more depth once we return.
Much love and kisu mwane,
Savannah Bukant, Class of 2015